Score Some Laughs: 230+ Sports Jokes & Puns for Athletic Humor

funny Sports jokes with one liner clever Sports puns at PunnyFunny.com

Welcome to the best list of puns about sports! Get ready for some clever and hilarious humor that will have both kids and adults laughing out loud. These sports jokes are guaranteed to score a home run with your funny bone. From baseball to basketball, soccer to tennis, we’ve got a pun for every sporting event. So put on your game face and get ready to exercise those laughter muscles. Without further ado, let’s kick off this list of hilarious sports puns!

Slam Dunking on the Competition: Sports Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

  1. Why did the baseball player go to prison? He stole second base!
  2. What did the coach say to the volleyball team? “You guys need to bump up your game!”
  3. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  4. What do you call a boxer who can’t pay his bills? Punch-drunk now, bankruptcy later.
  5. What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m totally lost, can you help me find my net?”
  6. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
  7. What did the runner say when he lost his shoes? “I guess I’m really running on empty now.”
  8. Why did the basketball go to therapy? To work on its bounce-back game.
  9. What’s the difference between a scoreless tie and a big fish? One’s a goose egg and the other’s a lox.
  10. Why did the soccer ball go to therapy? It was feeling deflated.
  11. What’s a basketball player’s favorite type of music? Hoop-hop.
  12. What did the wrestler say when he won by a close margin? It was a real nail-biter.
  13. How does a soccer player get on the roof? They use a high-lift.
  14. What does a tennis player serve for lunch? Aces and sandwiches.
  15. How do you know if a baseball field is haunted? You can hear the umpire shouting foul play.
  16. What did the basketball coach say to the team before practice? Let’s give it our best shot… no foul!
  17. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in three.
  18. What did the football say to the punter? “You’re really kicking it today.”
  19. Why couldn’t the bike stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
  20. What do you call a football player who becomes an astronaut? A space-tackler.

Score Big Laughs with These Hilarious ‘Funny Sports’ One-Liner Jokes!

  1. “Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!”
  2. “Did you hear about the football team that only practiced on the beach? They were all about that sand game!”
  3. “My coach always told me to run like I’m being chased by a donut. Turns out, I’m just really slow.”
  4. “I used to play tennis, but I kept forgetting to serve. It was just a fault of mine.”
  5. “Why was the baseball player always cold? Because he kept stealing second base!”
  6. “I tried boxing, but my trainer said I had too much punch and not enough finesse. I guess that’s what they call a knockout.”
  7. “What did the basketball say to the hoop? You make me bounce off the walls!”
  8. “I did a marathon last week and ended up running in circles. Turns out, I misunderstood the concept.”
  9. “How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it… or give it to a synchronized swimmer.”
  10. “Why are hockey games always so loud? Because everyone is shouting ‘ice to meet you’!”
  11. “I was going to join the yoga team, but I couldn’t get in the Lotus position. I guess I’m just not flexible enough.”
  12. “Why did the soccer ball go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little kicked around.”
  13. “I started playing cricket, but I couldn’t find the wicket. Oh well, back to baseball.”
  14. “You know what they say, you can’t spell ‘athlete’ without ‘eat’. Time to hit the gym… of the buffet.”
  15. “Why did the volleyball player always bring a suitcase to the game? Because she was always ready to hit the road!”
  16. “I thought about joining a pro wrestling team, but then I realized I’m more of a lover, not a fighter.”
  17. “I was on the fencing team, but I kept getting caught up in the details. In retrospect, I think it was just a giant spiderweb.”
  18. “Why did the track runner quit the team? Because he couldn’t take the hurdles anymore.”
  19. “I’m thinking of joining the synchronized swimming team. I hear it’s a real splash!”
  20. “I started training for a triathlon, but then I got winded just thinking about it. Maybe I’ll just stick to Netflix marathons.”

Swing and Laugh: QnA Jokes & Puns about Sports!

  1. Why did the baseball player refuse to wear a helmet? Because he was afraid of having a cap-sized head!
  2. What did one football say to the other football? “I get more kicks out of you than I do the goalpost!”
  3. How do you put a hockey stick into a blender? Carefully, it’s a big jagged thing!
  4. What does the gymnast wear to work? A tumbling outfit!
  5. How does a basketball player make good decisions? He definitely knows how to pivot!
  6. What did the tennis player say when he found out his racket was broken? Oh, I guess I’m backhanded now!
  7. Why did the swimmer bring a ladder to the pool? For the high dive, of course!
  8. What do you call a group of synchronized swimmers with bad coordination? A confusion pool!
  9. What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music? Swing music, of course!
  10. Why couldn’t the runner complete the marathon? He was too tired, he needed to take a “race” nap!
  11. What do you call it when two wrestlers start eating each other’s snacks? A tag- team sandwich!
  12. Why did the soccer player bring string to practice? For all his “knot”ty footwork!
  13. What’s the skateboarding trick that always ruins the party? The “board” slide!
  14. Why did the basketball coach go to jail? He couldn’t stop dribbling!
  15. What do you call a weightlifter who never stops talking? A bar-belled!
  16. Why did the football coach go to the bank? He wanted to get his quarterback!
  17. How did the cheerleader get so good at math? She could count her dance moves!
  18. What’s a skydiver’s favorite type of cookie? Free-fall-o’s!
  19. Why did the tennis player bring a glass of water to the court? Because he heard someone was serving!
  20. What’s the easiest way to score a goal in hockey? By putting your arms up and shouting “It’s in the net!”

Score a Laugh with these Hilarious Dad Jokes about Sports

  1. “Why was the math book sad at the football game? Because it had too many problems.”
  2. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.”
  3. “Did you hear about the cheese that tried to play baseball? It kept getting caught in the bleachers.”
  4. “Why couldn’t the bicycle win the race? Because it was two-tired.”
  5. “Why did the basketball court get wet? Because the players kept dribbling all over it.”
  6. “I heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.”
  7. “Why did the soccer ball kick the goalie in the shin? It wanted to score a goal.”
  8. “Why couldn’t the bicycle ride up the hill? It was way too tired.”
  9. “Why don’t ghosts play soccer? They’re afraid of the boos.”
  10. “Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.”
  11. “I used to play football, but I kept getting kicked out of the game. I guess I just wasn’t a team player.”
  12. “What do you call a fish who loves to play basketball? A courtfish.”
  13. “Why did the basketball player bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got cold feet.”
  14. “Why did the runner stop at the fruit stand during the marathon? He wanted to take a watermelon break.”
  15. “What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their wins at a sports bar? A chess club sandwich.”
  16. “Why do basketball players make terrible farmers? They’re always traveling.”
  17. “Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one and a hole-in-two.”
  18. “What did the baseball glove say to the ball? ‘Catch you later!'”
  19. “Why did the runner go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the runs.”
  20. “What do you call a sad football stadium? A hollowed field.”

Some LOL-worthy takes on ‘Sports’: Funny Quotes to Keep You in the Game

  1. “I run, not because I love it, but because I love cake more.”
  2. “There are two types of people in this world: those who play sports, and those who do math.”
  3. “I don’t always watch sports, but when I do, it’s for the commercials.”
  4. “If you think golf is boring, try watching it without the sound effects.”
  5. “I don’t always win at sports, but when I do, it’s because I cheated.”
  6. “I never make the same mistake twice, I make it at least three or four times just to be sure.”
  7. “Sports may not build character, but they definitely reveal it…and mine is pretty hilarious.”
  8. “The only exercise I get is running away from my problems.”
  9. “I don’t have a beer belly, I have a six pack hiding under my keg.”
  10. “I don’t need an alarm clock, my muscles ache enough to wake me up.”
  11. “I may not be the best athlete, but I can definitely eat a whole pizza by myself.”
  12. “I’m not short, I’m just condensed for better performance on the field.”
  13. “The best way to win an argument with a sports fan is to start talking about math.”
  14. “I hate cardio so much, I might as well just call it cardiovascul-NO.”
  15. “Why do they call it football when they hardly ever use their feet?”
  16. “I used to be an athlete…and then I discovered Netflix.”
  17. “I’ll start working out tomorrow, said every couch potato ever.”
  18. “They say practice makes perfect, but I’ve been practicing for years and I still suck at sports.”
  19. “I don’t need a personal trainer, I have a refrigerator that talks to me every time I open it.”
  20. “I don’t always play sports, but when I do, I play them badly.”

Score a Laugh with These Hilarious Sports-Related Proverbs!

  1. “A good athlete never runs out of excuses.”
  2. “A true champion knows the real MVP is their couch.”
  3. “Gymnasts are just flexible acrobats with fancy leotards.”
  4. “Sweating is just your body crying for ice cream.”
  5. “Behind every successful athlete is a very exhausted coach.”
  6. “The only exercise I get is running late.”
  7. “You can’t spell ‘winning’ without ‘gin’.”
  8. “A referee’s job is to make sure the players don’t hurt each other too much.”
  9. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it do a cartwheel.”
  10. “Sportsmanship is like deodorant, you never notice it until it’s not there.”
  11. “The only way to win at a game of golf is to bribe the person keeping score.”
  12. “In the game of life, I’m just trying not to get benched.”
  13. “Basketball players are just really tall people playing a giant game of catch.”
  14. “Run like someone just called your name and then realized it wasn’t you.”
  15. “Yoga is just stretching with a fancy name.”
  16. “Sports are like pizza toppings, everyone has their favorite but no one agrees on the best combination.”
  17. “The definition of insanity is doing the same workout and expecting different results.”
  18. “A marathon is a race against your own sanity.”
  19. “Soccer fans are just hooligans with a love for shin guards.”
  20. “Win or lose, at least you still have your snacks.”

Score Some Laughs with These ‘Sports’ Double Entendres Puns!

  1. “I’ve never been good at catching balls, but I sure can handle a bat!”
  2. “I may not be an Olympic athlete, but I could go for the gold in bed!”
  3. “I may have a golf handicap on the green, but I have no trouble driving down the fairway!”
  4. “Talk about a slam dunk, I never miss the hoop!”
  5. “I may not be a gymnast, but I sure know how to make my partner flip!”
  6. “I may not be a pitcher, but I can definitely throw a curveball in the bedroom!”
  7. “I may not have the strongest arm, but I sure have a great arm for cuddling!”
  8. “I may not have a hole-in-one on the golf course, but I’ve definitely had them in the bedroom!”
  9. “I may not be a marathon runner, but I can go the distance in lovemaking!”
  10. “My bedroom game is like a perfect game in baseball – no one can touch it!”
  11. “I may not be good at catching fish, but I sure know how to reel in a catch in the bedroom!”
  12. “I may not have a six-pack, but my abs of steel come in handy in bed!”
  13. “I may not be a pro bowler, but I can definitely knock ’em down in the bedroom!”
  14. “I may not be a figure skater, but I can definitely do some impressive moves on the ice!”
  15. “I may not have a tennis trophy, but my serve in the bedroom is a winner every time!”
  16. “I may not be a soccer star, but I know how to score big goals in the bedroom!”
  17. “I may not be a great climber, but I have no trouble reaching the peak in bed!”
  18. “I may not have a black belt in martial arts, but I definitely have a black belt in bed!”
  19. “I may not be a professional dancer, but I can definitely work my hips in the bedroom!”
  20. “I may not be a professional wrestler, but I can definitely pin my partner down in bed!”

Kick Off a Laughter-Filled Game with These Recursive Puns about Sports

  1. Why did the football coach go to the bakery? Because he heard they had great turnovers.
  2. I used to play tennis, but then I realized it was just a racket.
  3. As a soccer player, I always go for the goal, because that’s where the net profits are.
  4. The baseball player was so good at catching pop flies, he could do it with his eyes closed – he was a real blind catcher.
  5. The track and field team decided to add a new event – the relay-race backwards. They called it the reverse race.
  6. The weightlifter opened up his own gym – he wanted to make sure his business was always lifting.
  7. The ice hockey team was so good, they were always ice-cream champions.
  8. The boxer was known for his quick thinking – he was always able to punch in the punchline.
  9. The swimmer was always splashing around in the pool – she was a real water jokester.
  10. The basketball team’s secret weapon was a frog – he was great at leaping for rebounds.
  11. The golfer was always giving out free hugs on the course – he just loved to tee-off on someone.
  12. The runners held an impromptu race in the middle of a hurricane – they called it the wind sprint.
  13. The wrestler’s favorite move was the bear hug – he was really into grizzly humor.
  14. The gymnast opened up a dance studio – she wanted to be able to tumble with laughter.
  15. The boxer decided to switch to wrestling – he wanted to try out for the pun-ching squad.
  16. The bowler always had a lot on his plate – he was also a part-time bowling chef.
  17. The soccer team went to an 80’s themed party and dressed up as referees – they were the best dressed officials in town.
  18. The gymnast was also a magician – she could always pull off a perfect disappearing act on the balance beam.
  19. The basketball team decided to take up knitting in their free time – they were the court-knitters.
  20. The swimming pool had a leak, so the divers performed a water joke routine – they were quite the comic relief.

Catching Up on ‘Sports’ Tom Swifties: A Punny Way to Score Points!

  1. “I didn’t make it to the gym today,” Tom said dumbbell-y.
  2. “I can’t decide between tennis and golf,” Tom said indecisively.
  3. “I hate running in the rain,” Tom said under his breath.
  4. “I wish I was on the winning team,” Tom said enviously.
  5. “I can kick that ball farther than you,” Tom said boastfully.
  6. “I feel like I’m getting lost in this game,” Tom said coachless-ly.
  7. “I’ll never give up on my dreams of being a professional athlete,” Tom said goal-oriented.
  8. “I’m feeling a little lightheaded from all this spinning,” Tom said dizzyingly.
  9. “I think I pulled a muscle,” Tom said tearfully.
  10. “I’ve been practicing my boxing skills,” Tom said punch-drunk.
  11. “I need to increase my vertical jump,” Tom said upliftingly.
  12. “I can’t wait to hit the slopes,” Tom said ski-daddily.
  13. “I think I’ll stick to playing fantasy sports,” Tom said make-believe-ly.
  14. “Maybe I should have stretched before this game,” Tom said limber-ly.
  15. “I shouldn’t have eaten that hotdog before the race,” Tom said exhaustingly.
  16. “I think I’m ready to retire from this sport,” Tom said retired-ly.
  17. “I’ll be your partner for this game,” Tom said doubles-entendre-ly.
  18. “I can’t believe I just made that shot,” Tom said incredulously.
  19. “I’m feeling a little board of this sport,” Tom said bored-ly.
  20. “I can’t even lift my arms after that workout,” Tom said weightless-ly.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Score. Score who? Score a touchdown with these sports-themed knock-knock jokes!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dee. Dee who? Dee fence, dee fence, dee fence – I’m ready for a game of basketball!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Archie. Archie who? Archie, I’ll bet you can’t catch this football!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thatch. Thatch who? That’s why I love to go skiing – I get to wear lots of Thatch!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bo. Bo who? Bo that’s a big baseball bat – can I try it?
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lottie. Lottie who? Lottie of people are amazed when I swim like a dolphin!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kai. Kai who? Kai, kai, kai – did you see that perfect dive?
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zack. Zack who? Zack the ball really hard – watch it fly!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Carly. Carly who? Carly wait to go running on the track!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Beck. Beck who? Beck and call – my coach is always yelling at me!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Huey. Huey who? Huey trying to keep up with me on the soccer field?
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pierce. Pierce who? Pierce the puck – I’m going to score on this hockey game!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stella. Stella who? Stella you don’t have enough pins for bowling!
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dax. Dax who? Dax the water bottle and let’s hit the tennis court!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Farah. Farah who? Farah way the javelin – I’ll show you how it’s done!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hank. Hank who? Hank you very much for letting me play golf with you!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bea. Bea who? Bea good teammate and pass me the volleyball!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rocco. Rocco who? Rocco the boat so we can go tubing on the lake!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Odie. Odie who? Odie sweat a lot when I play soccer – but it’s worth it!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Izzy. Izzy who? Izzy seeing those amazing soccer skills?
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tia. Tia who? Tia can do it – I’ll make this baseball pitch look easy!

Score a Laugh with These Hilarious ‘Sports’ Malapropisms!

  1. Touchdowns = Touch doilies
  2. Quarterback = Quarterpounder
  3. Home run = Homing pigeon
  4. Slam dunk = Slapstick dump
  5. Hat trick = Cat flick
  6. Home plate = Hail mate
  7. Fast break = Fat steak
  8. Triple play = Tremble play
  9. Golf course = Gulp horse
  10. Power play = Powder play
  11. Penalty kick = Penny lick
  12. Knockout = Notorious Kraut
  13. Court side = Core slide
  14. Strikeout = Stripe out
  15. Double fault = Dribble salt
  16. High jump = Hike jump
  17. Foul ball = Fowl brawl
  18. Free throw = Flee through
  19. Hole-in-one = Whole in one
  20. Overtime = Overcrime

Sports Spoonerisms: Wordplay on the Field!

  1. Rugger Tacket instead of Tug of War
  2. Node Racquet instead of Road Runner
  3. Cat Foot instead of Fat Cut (golf term)
  4. Bockey Ball instead of Hockey Puck
  5. Whim Toss instead of Gym Toss (discus throw)
  6. Lasket Brawl instead of Basket Ball
  7. Crugby Schrunch instead of Scrum Crunch
  8. Golf Cartwheel instead of Cart Golfwheel
  9. Bennis Tabble instead of Tennis Ball
  10. Jocus Fumper instead of Focus Jumper (high jump)
  11. Kicking Faddles instead of Flicking Paddles (table tennis)
  12. Snoccer Foult instead of Foul Soccer
  13. Cresstacle Horse instead of H obstacle Course
  14. Saddle Racking instead of Rattle Snaking (horse racing)
  15. Stick Slide instead of Trick Shot (pool)
  16. Bunting Luddy instead of Hunting Buddy (fishing)
  17. Mud on the Lem instead of Lead on the Mum (pole vault)
  18. Sport Horses instead of Horse Sports (equestrian events)
  19. Judo Romp instead of Dojo Jump (martial arts)
  20. Backet Ball instead of Basket Ball

Game Over: These Puns Score a Laugh!

I hope these puns about sports have left you ROFL-ing like a gymnast on a balance beam! But don’t worry, the fun doesn’t have to end here. Check out our other hilarious posts on puns and jokes, including 110+ Food Puns That Will Make You Hungry for Laughter, and 150+ Dad Jokes That Will Make You Groan (But Also Laugh). Keep the puns and jokes coming, and remember to always have a ball!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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