120+ Statue Jokes & Puns: You’ll Bronze Out Laughing!

Get ready to chisel away at your boredom because we’ve got a list of statue jokes and puns that are pure comedy bronze! We’ve sculpted this collection with the best humor, ensuring a positive experience filled with clever wordplay and side-splitting punchlines. Fun fact: Did you know the average human body has enough iron in it to make a small statue? Well, get ready to find the funny bone in yours with these hilarious statue jokes!

Top Statue Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Bronze Winners

1. What did the statue say to the pigeon? “Well, this is awkward. You’re bustin’ and I’m bronze.”
2. Heard about the bronze thief who got caught? He’s in a heap of statue trouble.
3. Life as a statue? I take it all in stride… literally.
4. This sculptor’s work really speaks for itself. Shame it’s mute.
5. Feel bad for unappreciated statues. They deserve a big hand.
6. Dating a statue is rough. She’s always stonewalling me.
7. The statue’s career was on the rise… until it was cast.
8. That statue looks familiar. Didn’t he play the lead in “Silence of the Bronze?”
9. Always keep your promises to a statue. They’re set in stone.
10. That art thief is bold! He’s always up to some bronze-age thinking.
11. You think YOU had a rough day? Try being made of bronze and left outside!
12. Just saw a statue wearing a watch. Guess he’s pressed for time.
13. New rule: Always invite statues to parties. They’re guaranteed to liven things up.
14. That sculptor’s known for his realistic statues. They’re breathtaking!
15. Becoming a sculptor: It’s not for the faint of art.
16. I tried to strike up a conversation with that bronze statue. Pretty one-sided.

Funny Statue One-Liner Jokes: Bronze Busting Jokes

1. I saw a bronze statue of a dog and thought, “Wow, that’s really barking mad!”
2. Statues are so underrated, they really take my breath away.
3. A statue of a mime won an award. It was a gesture of good faith.
4. I just got a job at the statue factory, but it’s not set in stone yet.
5. Thinking about opening a statue shop, but business has been a little stiff lately.
6. You think you have it rough? Try being a statue and having pigeons gossip about you all day.
7. The statue of the business tycoon was controversial, some people thought it was a big deal, others thought it was small potatoes.
8. I saw a statue of a pizza today. It was deep-dish-art.
9. Becoming a statue model sounds easy, but it’s hard to hold that pose.
10. What do you call a statue of a snail? Escar-go figure it out yourself.
11. The detective investigating the missing statue case was stumped. It was a real head-scratcher.
12. My friend told me his new apartment is full of sculptures… turns out he meant “culprits.” He’s got a lot of explaining to do.
13. The statue of liberty must get tired of people taking her picture. She never gets to say “cheese!”.
14. My art history professor is obsessed with statues. He’s always saying, “Can you dig it?”
15. I used to be a sculptor, but then I realized I wasn’t cut out for it.
16. My friend quit his job at the statue garden because he couldn’t stand the stone-cold silence.
17. I went to a party for statues last night. It rocked, but nobody showed it.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Statue: Carved in Stone Humor

1. Q: Why did the statue win an award? A: Because it was out-standing in its field!
2. Q: What did the statue say to the bird? A: “Well, this is awkward. I have you on a pedestal.”
3. Q: Why are statues so patient? A: They know how to hold their pose.
4. Q: What’s a statue’s favorite dance move? A: The robot, naturally!
5. Q: Why did the statue break up with the gargoyle? A: They just couldn’t see eye to eye.
6. Q: How do you communicate with a bronze statue? A: You have to use sign language!
7. Q: What do you call a statue that tells lies? A: A sculp-ture of fiction!
8. Q: What’s a statue’s favorite snack? A: Chips and dip-iction!
9. Q: Why was the statue feeling blue? A: It had the bronze-age blues!
10. Q: What did the statue say to the art critic? A: “Hey, don’t take me for granite!”
11. Q: How did the statue get to the museum? A: It was wheeled in on a sculp-ture!
12. Q: What did the statue wear to the art gallery opening? A: Nothing! It was already wearing a permanent collection.
13. Q: What’s a statue’s favorite board game? A: Statue of Liberty!
14. Q: What do you call a statue that’s always cold? A: A bronze-to-be-freezing statue!
15. Q: Why did the statue get a job at the library? A: It was great at keeping things quiet!
16. Q: What did the judge say about the stolen statue case? A: “This art theft is a serious bronze-ness offense!”
17. Q: Why did the statue cross the road? A: …To prove it wasn’t chicken!

Dad Jokes about Statue: Carved from Pure Comedy

1. I saw a statue of a cow made entirely of butter. I thought, “Well, that’s a sculpture.”
2. What’s a statue’s least favorite snack? A plain chip. They like their chips with dip-iction!
3. What did the statue say to the bird? “Well, this is awkward. I’m never the one who gets to say ‘hi’.”
4. I bet I could make a great statue out of bread crumbs… If I wasn’t always so easily dis-trailed.
5. My wife told me to take the statue out to the curb for trash day. I said, “Don’t be ridiculous, he can walk himself!”
6. Tried to have a staring contest with a statue once. Lost track of time – turned into quite the state-u-off.
7. Why did the statue break up with the gargoyle? Because he said she was too set in her ways!
8. A statue walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
9. You know, statues make terrible comedians. They’re always just standing there, being stone-cold serious.
10. I’ve been working on my own statue… it’s me made entirely of spare ribs! I call it “Self Portrait as a Spare Rib.”
11. You think statues ever get lonely? Maybe they just want someone to talk to about their bronze age.
12. What’s a sculptor’s favorite dance? The statue of liberty!
13. I told my wife we should get a bronze statue for the backyard. She said, “We’ll rust-le something up.”
14. Why are statues so good at keeping secrets? They’re experts at keeping a straight face!
15. What did the frustrated artist say to his statue? “You’re driving me up the wall!”
16. Statues are always getting into trouble. It’s like they don’t know how to stay outta-bronze!
17. Heard a rumor about a magic statue that comes to life at night and cleans the house. Sounds like a dust-busting legend to me.

Funny Quotes and Captions about Statue That Will Make You LOL

1. “I tried to strike up a conversation with a statue once. It really stonewalled me.”
2. “Life is like a bronze statue in the park. Eventually, pigeons will ruin it.”
3. “Me trying to hold a pose for a photo: 0.2 seconds. Statues: Centuries. We are not the same.”
4. “Just saw a statue of a horse with its legs in the air. Must’ve been foal play.”
5. “A sculptor’s worst nightmare? Their masterpiece coming to life and demanding royalties.”
6. “I’m at that age where I relate more to statues than actual people. Standing still and silently judging? My jam.”
7. “What did the statue say to the pigeon? ‘Can you not?'”
8. “You know you’re old when you visit a museum and relate more to the statues than the artwork.”
9. “I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I once won a staring contest with a statue.”
10. “Bought a talking statue today. Turns out it was a bust.”
11. “Dating advice: Be like a statue in a park – attract admirers but never chase after them.”
12. “They say statues have a lot of stories to tell. They just need someone to chisel away at their anxieties.”
13. “How do statues stay so fit? They work out with chisels and hammers.”
14. “My love life is like a bronze statue – unmoving, unchanging, and constantly exposed to the elements.”
15. “I bet statues get really tired of tourists posing with them. It’s like, ‘Dude, get your own life!'”
16. “My career goal is to be so successful that one day, someone will build a completely inaccurate statue of me.”
17. “Whoever said ‘pictures are worth a thousand words’ never tried to dust a really intricate statue.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Statue: Carved in Stone & Humor

1. A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a bronze statue gathers an impressive amount of pigeon droppings.
2. Don’t judge a statue by its color, but by the size of the pigeons it attracts.
3. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make a statue drink it. Mostly because they don’t have mouths.
4. Early bird gets the worm, but the statue gets blamed for the mess. (referring to the pigeons again, of course)
5. If a statue falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? More importantly, does anyone care?
6. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but it often lands on the head of the unsuspecting statue below.
7. A penny for your thoughts? This statue will take anything you got.
8. Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and… wait, why are we talking about statues again?
9. All that glitters is not gold, some of it is bronze. Actually, a lot of statues are bronze, now that I think about it.
10. The grass is always greener on the other side… unless you’re a statue, in which case it’s pretty much the same level of green all around.
11. Don’t cry over spilled milk, cry over a vandalized statue. That stuff is hard to clean.
12. A watched pot never boils, and a watched statue never winks. Unless it’s one of those creepy ones in a haunted house.
13. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was that statue you’re admiring. Took a lot of sculpting to make that pigeon’s butt look so lifelike.
14. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, and people near bronze statues shouldn’t make loud noises. You’ll scare the pigeons.
15. Silence is golden, but when it comes from a statue, it’s usually just assumed.

Statue Double Entendres Puns: Chiseled Wordplay

1. She’s got a great personality, but I hear her statue is even more breathtaking. (Playing on “figure” as both personality and physical form)
2. That sculptor really captured his subject’s… assets. Talk about a bust with a view! (Playing on “bust” as both a type of statue and a woman’s chest)
3. The unveiling of the statue was delayed. Apparently, it wasn’t quite ready to be seen in public yet. (Playing on the nudity of some statues)
4. He’s so stiff and formal, he might as well be a statue. A bronze one, judging by his tan. (Playing on the material of a statue and a deep tan)
5. He promised me eternal love, but I think he meant it literally. The last I heard, he was commissioning a statue of me. (Playing on the permanence of statues)
6. I tried talking to the statue, but he just stood there like a… well, you know. (Playing on the silent nature of statues)
7. The art critic wasn’t impressed with the statue’s pose. “It’s been done before,” he said, striking a similar position. (Playing on statues as imitations of poses)
8. The pigeons weren’t fans of the new statue. They thought it was for the birds. (Playing on the literal meaning of “for the birds” and birds perching on statues)
9. She’s got such poise and grace, she could be a statue… but she wouldn’t be caught dead in those clothes. (Playing on the timeless nature of statues and outdated clothing)
10. The statue was so lifelike, I almost offered it a drink. But then I realized it would probably just go straight through him. (Playing on the solidity of statues)
11. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but that statue looks nothing like me! It’s much thinner! (Playing on statues as representations of people)
12. Being a statue seems like a tough gig. All that standing around can’t be good for your circulation. (Playing on the immobility of statues)
13. The sculptor was arrested for indecent exposure. Apparently, his statue was a little too revealing. (Playing on the nudity of some statues)
14. She’s got a heart of gold, but she’s cold as a statue. Literally, since she insists on posing nude for all her sculptures. (Playing on the material of statues and their temperature)
15. He tried to sell me on his collection of ancient statues. “They’re priceless!” he claimed. “And untouchable,” he hastily added. (Playing on the value and protected nature of ancient artifacts)
16. The museum curator was adamant: “Don’t touch the statues!” But how else was I supposed to know if they were single? (Playing on the “no touching” rule in museums and flirting)
17. She’s been in the same relationship for years. They’re like two statues… staring blankly into the abyss of their shared Netflix queue. (Playing on the static nature of statues and long-term relationships)

Funny Statue Tom Swifties: Bronze-ing Around With Words

1. “This statue is quite lifelike,” Tom said stonily.
2. “The sculptor made a bust,” Tom said brokenly.
3. “This bronze statue is quite heavy,” Tom said weightily.
4. “I prefer marble statues,” Tom said coldly.
5. “The pigeons really did a number on this statue,” Tom said pointedly.
6. “This statue has been here for centuries!” Tom exclaimed timelessly.
7. “It appears someone vandalized the statue,” Tom remarked artlessly.
8. “This statue only cost a nickel,” Tom said cheaply.
9. “I wonder what this statue is made of?” Tom said alloying his curiosity to get the better of him.
10. “This statue commemorates a great general,” Tom said brassily.
11. “The unveiling of the statue is tomorrow,” Tom announced presently.
12. “I’m starting a petition to erect a new statue,” Tom declared monumentally.
13. “The statue seems to be tilting,” Tom said, precariously balancing a book on his head.
14. “I think the statue needs a good cleaning,” Tom said brushingly.
15. “I’m going to pose like the statue,” Tom said stiffly.
16. “Wow, that statue is remarkably detailed!” Tom said figuratively.
17. “This statue is so inspiring!” Tom said breathtakingly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Statue: You’ll Be Statuified by These

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue right there and let me in, it’s freezing!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue there for a long time, or are you happy to see me?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-licious dinner I made! Can I come in?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-ning to gossip again, aren’t you?
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-pid questions you ask!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue still mad about the pigeons?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-fied of heights? Because I’m up here on the roof!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? ‘Statue quo’ is getting boring, let’s go on an adventure!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue cold out here, mind if I warm up inside?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue the kind of person to leave a friend hanging? Open up!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue a coincidence seeing you here! Can we talk?
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-lling the show by not letting me in!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-rday night and I’m all dressed up, got any plans?
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-nding right behind you… Okay, not really, but can I come in now?
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue the point of waiting out there, just come on in!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-rific to finally be inside! Thanks for letting me in.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Statue. Statue who? Statue-berry nice of you to open the door!