Get Stupidly Entertained with 230+ Jokes & Puns about Stupidity

Hey there, all you clever and ever-so-positive people! Are you ready to feel like the best jokesters in town? Well, get ready to bust a gut, because we’ve got a list of the funniest and most ridiculous puns about stupidity. And these aren’t just any old jokes, they’re specifically crafted for the kids (and kids at heart). So get ready to laugh until your cheeks hurt and your sides ache, because these stupid jokes will have you in stitches!

Chuckle Along with Our ‘Stupid’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. Why did the stupid clock go back four hours? Because it wanted to be slower.
2. Why couldn’t the chicken cross the road? Because it was too chicken to do something stupid.
3. What do you call a group of apes who constantly make bad decisions? The Irrational Primate Coalition.
4. Why was the math book feeling so down? Because it had too many problems.
5. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
6. What do you call a disorganized garden? A plant-astrophe.
7. Why did the pencil need a break? It was feeling sharp.
8. Why did the apple go to therapy? Because it had a lot of core issues.
9. What did the bee say when he accidentally flew into a wall? “Ouch, that’s pollen me stupid.”
10. What did one snowman say to the other? “Do you smell carrots?”
11. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
12. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
13. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
14. Why couldn’t the bicycle sit down? Because it had a bad seat.
15. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybee.
16. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
17. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
18. What did the duck say when he bought some lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
19. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
20. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.

Laugh Out Loud: Hilarious and Ridiculous One-Liner Jokes

1. I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She laughed when I told her it was a “pasta-cycle.”
2. I’m currently reading a book on the history of glue. It’s really stuck with me.
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
4. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
5. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
6. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
7. My dad told me to stop singing “I’m a Believer” by The Monkees. He said it was just a phase.
8. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
9. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it was just gathering dust.
10. I had an argument with my wife the other day about the difference between “ignorance” and “apathy.” I can’t remember who won.
11. I used to be addicted to soap operas, but I managed to clean up my act.
12. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
13. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
14. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
15. Why did the chicken get a penalty? For fowl play.
16. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
17. I used to play piano by ear, but then I found out you’re supposed to use your fingers.
18. I always felt bad for leaving my cat outside in the rain, but then I remembered it’s not anti-purr-suasion.
19. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
20. I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows on too high. She told me I couldn’t talk to her like that anymore. I told her, “But I’m just trying to make some brow puns!”

Get Ready to Laugh: QnA Jokes & Puns about Stupid Mistakes!

1. Why did the stupid chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the stupid question.
2. What did the dumbbell say to the gym equipment? I’m not very bright, but I’m strong!
3. Why did the idiot throw his watch out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
4. How did the stupid man break his arm while raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
5. Why couldn’t the forgetful fish remember anything? Because it was always swimming in circles.
6. What do you call a group of clueless cows? Moo-tants.
7. Why did the dumb baker put his dough in the oven for too long? He wanted to make it extra-crispy.
8. How did the dimwit astronaut get lost in space? He ignored the “You Are Here” map.
9. What did the doctor say to the patient who kept forgetting to take their medicine? “Looks like you have a lot on your mind.”
10. Why did the dummy go to bed with a ruler? He wanted to measure how long he slept.
11. What did the dull pencil say to the sharp pencil? You’re always so pointy, it’s starting to hurt my feelings.
12. Why did the blockhead put a chicken in the freezer? He wanted to make frozen chicken nuggets.
13. How many idiots does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’re too busy trying to screw in a lightbulb into an already lit up room.
14. What did one brain cell say to the other after watching a dumb movie? There goes 2 hours of our lives we’ll never get back.
15. Why couldn’t the moron figure out how to use the TV remote? He kept pressing the “on” button but nothing was appearing on screen.
16. What did the dim-witted magician say before his disappearing act? I’ll make myself disappear to give you a chance to run away.
17. Why did the simple-minded farmer sow seeds in the mountains? He heard his crops needed higher elevation to grow.
18. How does a brain-dead person make a phone call? With a brain-dead phone.
19. Why did the ignoramus go to the bar? To ask for a glass of ‘colorless, tasteless, odorless’ water.
20. What did the boneheaded bee say to the flower? “I don’t need pollen, I have my own buzz.”

Brace Yourself for These Hilarious Dad Jokes About Stupidity!

1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle go to the movies? Because it was two-tired!
4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
6. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? He woke up.
7. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
8. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
11. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.
12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
13. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
14. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
15. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? He woke up.
16. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it.
17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
18. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
19. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
20. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

Embrace the stupidity with these hilarious quotes!

1. “I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least I’m still useful for opening bottles.”
2. “I’m not saying I’m stupid, but I did try to microwave my phone to charge it.”
3. “Being stupid is like being a superhero, minus the powers and the cool costume.”
4. “Some people wear their stupidity like a badge of honor. I just wear it like a dunce cap.”
5. “They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but clearly those people have never met my ex.”
6. “I don’t have a problem with stupidity, as long as it’s kept at a safe distance from me.”
7. “I may not have all the answers, but at least I’m not asking ridiculous questions.”
8. “I’d rather be thought of as stupid than open my mouth and remove all doubt.”
9. “I may be a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but at least I’m still lovin’ it.”
10. “I don’t need Google, my stupidity provides enough entertainment for a lifetime.”
11. “They say ignorance is bliss, but I think stupidity takes it to a whole new level.”
12. “They say laughter is the best medicine, but sometimes laughing at my own stupidity feels like the cure.”
13. “I’m not saying I’m the smartest person in the room, but I’m definitely not the dumbest either.”
14. “I may be book smart, but let’s just say common sense is not my strong suit.”
15. “I’ve made peace with my stupidity. It’s the rest of the world that needs to catch up.”
16. “At least I have a firm grasp on one thing – my own stupidity.”
17. “If stupidity was a superpower, I’d be the Hulk by now.”
18. “Some people collect stamps, I collect moments of stupidity. They’re much more entertaining.”
19. “I tried to think before I speak, but my stupidity always has a way of sneaking out.”
20. “Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know when your next moment of stupidity is going to pop up.”

Chuckling at Folly: Hilarious Proverbs & Clever Adages about ‘Stupid’

1. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t teach it to ice skate.”
2. “A fool and his money are soon partying at a strip club.”
3. “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
4. “A penny saved is a penny earned, but a penny found on the sidewalk is free money.”
5. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but so does avoiding WebMD.”
6. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too, unless you take a picture of it for Instagram.”
7. “A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it makes for a pretty fun game of bowling.”
8. “Don’t judge a book by its cover, but definitely judge someone who still uses a flip phone.”
9. “A watched pot never boils, but an unwatched pot will definitely boil over and make a mess on your stove.”
10. “Money doesn’t grow on trees, but it does grow in your bank account if you have a job.”
11. “A stitch in time saves nine, unless you’re knitting a sweater and then it saves only one.”
12. “Birds of a feather flock together, but selfie-taking birds are the exception.”
13. “Fortune favors the bold, but it also favors the person with a winning lottery ticket.”
14. “It’s always darkest before the dawn, but it’s also dark during a solar eclipse.”
15. “Actions speak louder than words, but not as loud as a screaming toddler at a nice restaurant.”
16. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. And then maybe try something else because you’re clearly not good at this.”
17. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too, unless you’re terrible at sharing and then you can have the whole thing to yourself.”
18. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, but it ends with a really long flight.”
19. “The grass is always greener on the other side, unless that side happens to be a giant puddle.”
20. “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And if life gives you limes, make margaritas.”

Stupidly Clever: Hilarious Double Entendres Puns

1. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
2. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!”
3. “I used to play piano by ear, now I use my head!”
4. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was too tired!”
5. “I was going to tell a joke about time travel, but you guys!”
6. “Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense!”
7. “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!”
8. “I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it!”
9. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”
10. “I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure!”
11. “Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work!”
12. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”
13. “Why did the belt go to prison? Because it held up a pair of pants!”
14. “I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t seem to put it down!”
15. “Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many exponents!”
16. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
17. “What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison!”
18. “I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my rightness!”
19. “Why wouldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!”
20. “I was going to buy a book on time travel, but it wasn’t released yet!”

Stupidly Silly: Recursive Puns about ‘Stupid’

1. Why was the stupid sandwich afraid to go to the deli? It was afraid of getting dismembered!
2. Did you hear about the dumb thief who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
3. What do you call a clueless grape? A grape without a clue.
4. How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
5. I told my friend he was drawing his eyebrows too high. He looked surprised.
6. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
8. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
9. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
10. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
11. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
12. I used to play piano by ear, but my nose got in the way.
13. What do you call a bear with no ears? B.
14. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
15. What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
16. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low. She looked surprised.
17. Why did the rice go to the doctor? Because it was feeling unwell.
18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
19. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s my popcorn?
20. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.

Stupidly Swift: The Hilarious Tales of Tom Swifties

1. “I just ran out of toilet paper,” Tom said with a deadpan expression.
2. “I accidentally spilled my drink all over myself,” Tom said dryly.
3. “I’m great at math!” Tom contended.
4. “This burrito is so spicy,” Tom said with a fiery passion.
5. “I only eat organic,” Tom said with a greenshirt.
6. “I lost my job at the calendar factory,” Tom dated.
7. “I refuse to use any emojis,” Tom stated.
8. “I won the pancake eating contest,” Tom boasted flatly.
9. “I have seven pet rabbits,” Tom multiplied.
10. “I need a new pair of shoes,” Tom said with a soleful expression.
11. “I’m allergic to gluten,” Tom wheat-whispered.
12. “I slept through my alarm,” Tom snored.
13. “I’m taking a break from social media,” Tom posted.
14. “I wish I had a shark costume,” Tom mused deep-sea-fully.
15. “I jumped out of a plane and forgot my parachute,” Tom fell.
16. “I can’t find my phone anywhere,” Tom dialed.
17. “I’m going to become a beekeeper,” Tom buzzed.
18. “I’ve been working out a lot lately,” Tom flexed.
19. “I am so hungry,” Tom said with a stomach growl-et.
20. “I accidentally glued my fingers together,” Tom stuck to his story.

Knock-knock, who’s there? Just another Stupid joke waiting to make you laugh!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stew. Stew who? Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivo. Ivo who? Ivoluntarily made myself look stupid.
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a stupid joke.
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iota. Iota who? I thought I’d have a good knock-knock joke, but I’m an idiot.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dumbbell. Dumbbell who? Dumbbell who thinks telling knock-knock jokes will make them any smarter.
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Urine. Urine who? You’re in for a world of stupid puns if you keep asking.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Duh. Duh who? Do you really need me to answer that?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yugo. Yugo who? Yugo through life being this clueless.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Stupid owl was too busy hooting to answer the door.
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bozo. Bozo who? Bozo’s attempt at a knock-knock joke failed miserably.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ima. Ima who? Ima need you to stop asking for knock-knock jokes now.
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Edsel. Edsel who? Edsel-doomed to listen to these terrible knock-knock jokes.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Will. Will who? Will I ever come up with a good knock-knock joke? Probably not.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ashe. Ashe who? Ashe your little sister questions later, okay?
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Omelette. Omelette who? Omelette you finish, but this is the stupidest joke of all time.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yuri. Yuri who? Yuri-cute, but I’m even cuter.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sven. Sven who? Sven if I wanted to, I couldn’t come up with a better knock-knock joke.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida been better off not answering the door.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Barb. Barb who? Barb-wire fence is smarter than whoever came up with this joke.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda know why I keep asking you these stupid jokes.

Stop Making ‘Stupid’ Malapropisms: Here’s How to Properly Use Words

1. “I went to the doctor and he said I have an antibiotic personality disorder.”
2. “I’m not very good at math, but I have a natural talent for geometric pregnancies.”
3. “I’m feeling so sick today, I think I have a touch of children.”
4. “I can’t believe he just won the Nobel Pizza Prize.”
5. “Hermit crabs are my favorite type of crustacean.”
6. “I don’t trust that guy, he’s always so two-faced behind my back.”
7. “I love spending my weekends binging on Netflix and Chick-Flicks.”
8. “She’s always so negative, she’s like a Debbie Downpour on a sunny day.”
9. “I was trying to make pancakes but I accidentally used self-driving flour.”
10. “Do you have any diet soap? I’m trying to cut back on carbs.”
11. “I don’t want to go to that party, I’ll just be a fifth wheel.”
12. “I heard that new movie is really good, it has a lot of explosive interrupting scenes.”
13. “I need a new book to read, I just finished The Fault in Our Stars and it was a complete sweat.”
14. “I thought it was supposed to be sunny today, guess the weatherman was way off his ballpark.”
15. “My boss is always micromanaging me, it’s like she’s got her head in my foxhole.”
16. “I can’t stand that teacher, he’s just a big poop-core enabler.”
17. “My grandma always has the best old wives’ fables to tell us.”
18. “I can’t believe the new iPhone has facial recognizance technology!”
19. “I have a great relationship with my dog, he’s my best furry.”
20. “I want to lose weight so I’m only eating diagonal foods from now on.”

Cleverly Comical Spoonerisms about Stupid Situations

1. “Pew Srain” instead of “Sew Train”
2. “Moot Stilk” instead of “Stoot Milk”
3. “Brass Fattery” instead of “Flash Battery”
4. “Dit Humb” instead of “Hit Drum”
5. “Razy Foad” instead of “Crazy Road”
6. “Bungle Moss” instead of “Mungle Boss”
7. “Silly Dumbs” instead of “Dilly Sums”
8. “Flunk Huit” instead of “Hunk Flit”
9. “Jest Koke” instead of “Guest Joke”
10. “Gutter Braze” instead of “Butter Graze”
11. “Tasty Preat” instead of “Pasty Treat”
12. “Jolly Panel” instead of “Polly Jingle”
13. “Wicked Smitch” instead of “Sick Witch”
14. “Dumble Nick” instead of “Numble Dick”
15. “Lippy Toe” instead of “Tippy Toe”
16. “Foggy Blur” instead of “Boggy Flur”
17. “Frumpy Cat” instead of “Crumpy Fat”
18. “Blabby Bunch” instead of “Grabby Lunch”
19. “Noddy Potato” instead of “Potty Nodato”
20. “Pappy Dad” instead of “Dappy Pad”

Parting Puns: Dumb Jokes That Still Crack Us Up!

Well, folks, it’s time to put a cap on this pun-tastic post. I hope these 230+ puns about stupid have left you feeling entertained and maybe a little bit less dumb. But don’t stop here, there are plenty more puns and jokes out there waiting to be discovered. So go forth and pun on, my friends. And don’t forget to check out our other posts for more laughs and groan-inducing puns. Until next time, keep on punning and laughing your way through life!