Time to Laugh at These 230+ Tickling Time Jokes and Puns!

funny Time jokes with one liner clever Time puns at PunnyFunny.com

Hey there, all you time travelers and clock-watchers! Are you tired of constantly counting the minutes and hours? Well, I’ve got some hilarious jokes and puns about time that are sure to make you forget all about those pesky seconds ticking away. From clever wordplay to positive punchlines, this list of punny jokes is perfect for kids and adults alike. Trust me, they’re the best way to pass the time with a good ol’ laugh. So why waste another second? Let’s dive into the funny side of time!

Tick Tock Your Way to Laughter: Time Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

  1. Why did the clock go to therapy? Because it was having a ticking identity crisis.
  2. Did you hear about the guy who invented the time machine? He was years ahead of his time.
  3. Why did the chicken go back in time? To get to the other side.
  4. What do you call a time traveler who refuses to change the past? A stubborn clock-stopper.
  5. I accidentally swallowed some clocks. It was very time-consuming.
  6. Why was the clock always worried? It was afraid of running out of time.
  7. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
  8. I saw a documentary about how clocks are made. It was about time.
  9. Did you hear about the man who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “No-bell” prize.
  10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  11. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the clock factory? The police are still searching for the second hand.
  12. Why did the comedian start using time jokes? They were timeless.
  13. I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.
  14. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  15. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  16. I asked my friend what he thought about genetics. He said it runs in his family.
  17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  18. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
  19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  20. What did one clock say to the other one that was running late? “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.”

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Hilarious ‘Time’ One-Liner Jokes!

  1. I hate how time flies, but I love watching clock hands run away from each other.
  2. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
  3. Working in a clock factory is very time consuming.
  4. The invention of clocks really ticked off sundials.
  5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  6. I named my watch “Time” so I could say I always had time on my hands.
  7. Who teaches rocks to tell time? A rock clock teacher.
  8. Did you hear about the broken clock? It’s having a real tough time right now.
  9. Time flies when you’re having rum… or is it fun?
  10. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  11. When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
  12. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
  13. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense!
  14. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
  15. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!
  16. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
  17. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  18. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  19. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
  20. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? He woke up.

Tick Tock, Time for Some QnA Jokes & Puns to Keep You Laughing!

  1. What do you call a lazy clock? Second-hand!
  2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
  3. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
  4. What did one clock say to the other when they were feeling sluggish? “We really need to pick up our pace!”
  5. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
  6. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
  7. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
  8. What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine!
  9. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
  10. What did one snowman say to the other? “Do you smell carrot?”
  11. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  12. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
  13. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up in a tree and act like a nut!
  14. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  15. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick!
  16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
  17. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
  18. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything!
  19. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
  20. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly!

Killing ‘Time’ with Hilarious Dad Jokes: A Timeless Tradition

  1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
  2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
  3. Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many problems.
  4. I used to play piano by ear, but then I started using my hands.
  5. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
  6. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.
  7. Why was the clock feeling depressed? It was going through a tough time.
  8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  9. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
  10. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-Brie.
  11. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
  12. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  13. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  14. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
  15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  16. Why did the tomato turn into a pineapple? Because it ran out of juice.
  17. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  18. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
  19. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  20. I’m reading a book on the history of clocks. It’s about time.

Tick-Tock, These Funny Quotes About Time Will Leave You Laughing!

  1. “Time flies like an arrow, but sometimes it trips and falls like a drunk trying to walk in a straight line.”
  2. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams
  3. “I told myself I should stop procrastinating, but I never got around to it.”
  4. “I wish I could have a time machine so I could go back and warn myself not to make that awkward joke.”
  5. “I’m not saying I’m always running late, but my life should come with a ‘Next Stop: Neverland’ sign.”
  6. “I have a love-hate relationship with time. It’s constantly running away from me, but also making me age faster.”
  7. “Time is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”
  8. “They say time heals all wounds, but it also gives you more opportunities to embarrass yourself.”
  9. “I’m not aging, I’m just collecting vintage.”
  10. “Being punctual is just an illusion – we all know that the real world works on ‘fashionably late’.”
  11. “My time management skills are like a broken clock, right only twice a day.”
  12. “I may be late, but at least I’m fashionably late.”
  13. “I wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to make that hairstyle or fashion choice.”
  14. “Time flies when you’re having fun. Unfortunately, it also flies when you’re stuck in a boring meeting.”
  15. “Procrastination is like a credit card – it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.”
  16. “They say time travel isn’t possible, but they obviously haven’t witnessed how fast I can eat a pizza.”
  17. “I’m not late, I’m just on island time.”
  18. “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its students.”
  19. “I’m not aging, I’m just increasing in value like a fine wine.”
  20. “I always strive to make the most of my time, but then Netflix asks me if I’m still watching.”

Funny Proverbs and Wise Sayings: The Timeless Humor of Time Management!

  1. Time is money, but I always seem to be free.
  2. A watched clock never ticks.
  3. Time waits for no man, but it sure loves to run late.
  4. Better late than never, but never is better.
  5. Time flies when you’re having fun, but it also flies when you’re late.
  6. You can’t turn back the clock, but you can hit snooze.
  7. Don’t kill time, just let it die of natural causes.
  8. The early bird gets the worm, but the snooze button gets the sleep.
  9. Time is a thief, but Netflix is an accomplice.
  10. There’s no time like the present, unless it’s happy hour.
  11. Time heals all wounds, except for my ex’s Instagram posts.
  12. A stitch in time saves nine, but I’d rather buy new clothes.
  13. Don’t count your minutes, make your minutes count.
  14. Time changes everything, except for the coworker who never washes their dishes.
  15. A penny saved is a minute earned, so let me just find this coin purse…
  16. Time flies, but I’m not the pilot.
  17. You can’t turn back time, but you can fast forward through commercials.
  18. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but my procrastination skills are trying.
  19. Time is precious, so I’m just going to nap on it.
  20. Don’t worry about the future, just live in the moment… unless it’s laundry day.

Tick-Tock, These Time Double Entendres Are Right on Cue!

  1. “I have a lot of time on my hands… but none of them are mine.”
  2. “Time flies when you’re having fun… and so does my patience.”
  3. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a ‘wake me up at noon’ kind of person.”
  4. “It’s time for a change… but can I get some spare coins first?”
  5. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead… so wake me up in 50 years.”
  6. “My day is packed… in a suitcase, ready for a vacation.”
  7. “I’m not late, I’m just fashionably delayed.”
  8. “I have all the time in the world… but none of it is for laundry.”
  9. “I’m feeling ticked off… by the clock that keeps moving forward.”
  10. “I’m not procrastinating, I’m just giving time a chance to catch up.”
  11. “I have too many things to do and not enough thyme to do it.”
  12. “Time may heal all wounds, but it also turns wine into vinegar.”
  13. “I’ll be there in a jiffy… which is 2 minutes on ‘Fridays are for lounging’ time.”
  14. “Procrastination Station… next stop, never.”
  15. “They say time is money, but I seem to be always broke.”
  16. “I don’t have time for nonsense… unless it’s a good pun.”
  17. “My biological clock is ticking… but I prefer my digital one.”
  18. “I’m so busy, I need a clone to help me manage time.”
  19. “Does anyone have a spare minute? I seem to have used all of mine.”
  20. “Forget daylight savings, I need daylight injections to stay awake.”

Tick-Tocking Your Way Through These Hilariously Recursive Puns About Time

  1. Why did the clock go to the psychiatrist? Because it was feeling ticktock he’ll make it through another day.
  2. I used to hate clocks, but then they rolex me into their world.
  3. I told my wife I wanted to be the hands on the clock, but she said it was just a phase.
  4. A broken clock is still right twice a day, but a stopped watch is just time wasted.
  5. Did you hear about the time traveler who didn’t have enough money for his journey? He had to make ends meet.
  6. I don’t trust time travelers, they’re always up to something.
  7. Why did the man buy a waterproof watch? Because he didn’t want to drown in time.
  8. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  9. My friend said he could print a calendar with his eyes closed. I told him that was pretty daydream.
  10. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
  11. I tried to make a belt out of clocks, but it was a waist of time.
  12. What did the man say when he accidentally set his clock an hour ahead? Oh no, I’ve lost an hour!
  13. Did you hear about the watch that could only tell Greek time? It was all Greek to me.
  14. Time is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
  15. What did the clock say to its child when it misbehaved? You’re ticking me off!
  16. My friend is so good at telling time, he has a second hand information.
  17. I asked my dad what time it was, and he replied “half past a freckle.” He’s not very good with fractions.
  18. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s time consuming.
  19. My dad is always reminding me that time waits for no one. Except me, I’m always late.
  20. Have you heard about the new time-traveling restaurant? It has a great atmosphere, but the service is a little slow.

No Need for Time Travel, These ‘Time’ Tom Swifties Are ‘Time’-less!

  1. “I can’t believe it’s already midnight,” Tom said day-dreamily.
  2. “I need to set my alarm clock for 6am,” said Tom alarmingly.
  3. “I’m running out of time to finish this assignment,” Tom said drawlingly.
  4. “I’m going to take a time-out,” Tom said sportingly.
  5. “I feel like I’m in a time warp,” Tom said spacily.
  6. “I think I’ve lost track of time,” Tom said secondarily.
  7. “I could really use some extra time right now,” Tom said desperately.
  8. “I feel like I’m living in the past,” Tom said historically.
  9. “I’m never on time, it’s like I have a clock curse,” Tom said superstitiously.
  10. “I can’t wait to try my new time machine invention,” Tom said futuristically.
  11. “I always seem to be running behind schedule,” Tom said chronically.
  12. “I have to catch my flight, time is of the essence,” Tom said urgently.
  13. “I’m really feeling the time crunch now,” Tom said respectfully.
  14. “I think I’ll wear my watch today,” Tom said handsomely.
  15. “I have a meeting at three, but it’ll be over in a jiffy,” Tom said shortly.
  16. “I need to step on it, time waits for no one,” Tom said hastily.
  17. “I can’t believe how fast this year has gone by,” Tom said annually.
  18. “I feel like I’m always racing against the clock,” Tom said melodramatically.
  19. “My grandfather clock just chimed, it must be 9 o’clock,” Tom said grandly.
  20. “I think I’ll slow down and take my time with this project,” Tom said leisurely.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Time to laugh with these knock-knock jokes!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thyme. Thyme who? Thyme flies when you’re having fun, but it also drags when you’re stuck in traffic.
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tock. Tock who? Tock-tick, it’s time for your alarm to go off.
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Daylight. Daylight who? Daylight savings time always steals an hour from us.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Late. Late who? I’m never late, the clock is just always behind.
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Week. Week who? Week can’t last forever, thankfully it’s almost the weekend!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hour. Hour who? Just an hour ago I was ready for bed, now I’m wide awake.
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tick. Tick who? Tick your watch, it’s time to get a new one.
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Night. Night who? Night time brings out all the strange creatures, like me.
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Second. Second who? Second I have to check my watch, oh look it’s snack time.
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snooze. Snooze who? Snooze I’ll lose track of time and be late again.
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Future. Future who? Future looks bright for those who don’t procrastinate.
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Minute. Minute who? Minute by minute, I’ll get everything done on time.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Delay. Delay who? Sorry, I’m running late due to train delays.
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Past. Past who? The past is in the past, let’s focus on the present.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Early. Early who? Early bird catches the worm, or in my case, the coffee.
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock isn’t just a timepiece, it’s a fashion statement.
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Midnight. Midnight who? Midnight snack time, let’s raid the fridge.
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Year. Year who? A new year brings new resolutions, but let’s not forget about the previous ones.
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Morning. Morning who? Morning is my favorite time of day, I’m a serial snoozer.
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chime. Chime who? Chime me a tune, I’ll be here waiting until it’s time to go.

Tick Tock, Don’t be Tickled by These Time-Twisted Malapropisms

  1. “Tea time” instead of “tardy time”
  2. “Fruit flew” instead of “flew by”
  3. “Hamster time” instead of “hampered time”
  4. “Lemonade hour” instead of “happy hour”
  5. “Crime clock” instead of “prime time”
  6. “Minute maid” instead of “minute made”
  7. “Thyme out” instead of “time out”
  8. “Time turkey” instead of “time turnkey”
  9. “Thyme travel” instead of “time travel”
  10. “Quarter past niner” instead of “quarter past nine”
  11. “Oven timing” instead of “good timing”
  12. “Eggs over timer” instead of “easy over timer”
  13. “Prime rib time” instead of “prime time”
  14. “Second-hand flounder” instead of “second-hand knowledge”
  15. “Manger ment” instead of “manager moment”
  16. “Tick toxic” instead of “time sensitive”
  17. “Alarm malfunctioning” instead of “alarm clock”
  18. “Calendar casualty” instead of “calendar casualty”
  19. “Office schedule mangled” instead of “office schedule managed”
  20. “Timepiece odor” instead of “timepiece order”

Tick Tock Talking: Spoonerisms about Time That’ll Keep You on Your Toes

  1. “Taste Mime” instead of “Time Waste”
  2. “Slime Tart” instead of “Time Start”
  3. “Crime Breech” instead of “Time Creep”
  4. “Lime Tree” instead of “Time Free”
  5. “Prime Halt” instead of “Time Heart”
  6. “Dime Mime” instead of “Time Dine”
  7. “Chime Spy” instead of “Time Fly”
  8. “Mine Trip” instead of “Time Trip”
  9. “Pine Wine” instead of “Time Line”
  10. “Rhyme Mint” instead of “Time Rent”
  11. “Blimey Climb” instead of “Time Climb”
  12. “Time Rhyme” instead of “Rime Thyme”
  13. “Slime Fryer” instead of “Time Flyer”
  14. “Whine Trim” instead of “Time Win”
  15. “Crime Slime” instead of “Time Slime”
  16. “Dime Mime” instead of “Time Dime”
  17. “Lime Frame” instead of “Time Frame”
  18. “Chime Swell” instead of “Time Swell”
  19. “Grime Steal” instead of “Time Steal”
  20. “Sign Mime” instead of “Time Sign”

Clock out with these punny time jokes!

Well folks, we’ve reached the end of our time together and I must say, it’s been pun-tastic! I hope these time-related puns have ticked all the right boxes for you. But if you’re still hungry for more laughs, be sure to check out our other puns and jokes about all sorts of topics. Trust me, they’re worth every second. Till next time, keep clocking those puns!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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