Flush Out Boredom: 230+ Hilarious Toilet Jokes & Puns

Welcome to the ultimate list of the funniest toilet jokes and puns about everyone’s favorite porcelain throne! Best suited for kids and adults with a great sense of humor, this list will have you giggling on the toilet (don’t worry, we won’t judge). From clever wordplay to hilarious one-liners, get ready for a bathroom break filled with laughter. So grab your toilet paper and get ready to sit down for some potty humor at its finest!

Flush Your Troubles Away with these Hilarious ‘Toilet’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. “Why did the toilet go to therapy? Because it was feeling flushed.”
2. “I accidentally flushed my phone down the toilet, but it’s okay, it had a good ring to it.”
3. “What did the toilet say to the plunger? You really suck at your job.”
4. “I hate when people leave the toilet seat up, it really pisses me off.”
5. “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.”
6. “Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to the butt crack.”
7. “I couldn’t decide between two toilets, so I went with the one that had a better throne-to-seat ratio.”
8. “I’m not usually one to take bathroom breaks, but when I do, it’s always in style.”
9. “Why did the toilet hire a lawyer? To investigate a series of clogged pipes.”
10. “I’m no expert, but I think that’s a pretty crappy excuse for a toilet.”
11. “Did you hear about the toilet that got arrested? It was charged with public indecency.”
12. “The toilet was really sad because it felt like it wasn’t getting enough compliments. I told it: Don’t worry, you’re doing a great job handling all of my shit.”
13. “Why did the toilet stop working? Because it needed to go on a bowl cleanse.”
14. “I told my wife I was going to buy a bidet. She said: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
15. “Why did the toilet paper go to therapy? Because it was tearing itself apart.”
16. “I tried to fix the clogged toilet, but I just couldn’t push through all the crap.”
17. “Why did the toilet bring toilet paper to the dance? Because they were a good roll model.”
18. “What did the toilet say when it was done? I’m drained.”
19. “Why did the toilet get a new job? It was tired of working in a crap environment.”
20. “I asked my friend if he preferred the toilet or the urinal, he said: It’s all piss-tol preference.”

Flush out a laugh with these funny toilet puns!

1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
2. I’m currently working on a new toilet brand. It’s called “Flush & Go.”
3. I accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of toilet paper. My wallet felt a lot cleaner afterwards.
4. I’ve been eating so much fiber, my toilet is starting to feel left out.
5. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hallway? It wanted to get out of a sticky situation.
6. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper.
7. I bought a new toilet that also plays music. It’s called the Porcelain Harmony.
8. Toilets may be changing, but poop will always be classic.
9. The flush handle on my toilet is broken, but I’m happy to report that we’re finally on a first-name basis.
10. My toilet spotted me scrolling on my phone and said, “I see you’re on your throne of lies.”
11. Why did the toilet paper roll cross the road? To get to the bottom, again.
12. The plumber installed a bidet in my bathroom. It’s like a car wash for my butt.
13. I always say “bless you” when someone sneezes in the bathroom, because good manners never go down the drain.
14. I used to be scared of sitting on public toilets, until I realized they’ve been potty trained.
15. What did the toilet say to the plumber? “Thanks for always being there for me, it means a lot.”
16. I’m not saying I have a small bladder, but I can hold it for an entire concert without having to use the bathroom.
17. The toilet and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves me, but I hate cleaning it.
18. I’m convinced that toilets with heated seats are the only real form of self-care.
19. How many plumbers does it take to unclog a toilet? None, because they’re all busy scrolling through Instagram, just like the rest of us on the toilet.
20. What does a toilet do when it’s feeling down? It takes a de-pressurizing poop.

Flush away the seriousness with these hilarious QnA jokes & puns about toilets!

1. Q: What did one toilet say to the other? A: You look flushed today.
2. Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom.
3. Q: How does a plumber unclog a toilet? A: By using a plunger-sword.
4. Q: What do you call a toilet that loves to dance? A: A latrine-shake.
5. Q: What’s black and white and makes a loud noise in the bathroom? A: A zebra-flitzer.
6. Q: Did you hear about the toilet that was afraid of water? A: It was a potty-critic.
7. Q: Why don’t toilets get cold in the winter? A: Because they have toilet paper scarves.
8. Q: What did the toilet say when it was late for work? A: Sorry, I’m pooped.
9. Q: What do you call a toilet with a podcast? A: A potty-mouth.
10. Q: What did the toilet say when it was feeling sad? A: I’m feeling a bit down in the dumps.
11. Q: What do you call a fancy toilet? A: A royal flush.
12. Q: Did you hear about the toilet that was turned into a hotel? A: It was room and throne.
13. Q: Why did the plumber bring a dictionary to fix the toilet? A: He wanted to get a better understanding of the pipes.
14. Q: What did one toilet say to the other during a race? A: I’m gonna beat you to the finish line!
15. Q: What’s another term for an endless toilet? A: A bottomless pit.
16. Q: Did you hear about the toilet that got a job at the bank? A: It was in charge of handling all the deposits.
17. Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: Because it wanted to be in its element.
18. Q: What’s a plumber’s favorite song? A: “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen.
19. Q: What did the toilet say to the trash can? A: You stink, but at least you’re useful.
20. Q: Why did the toilet call 911? A: It was having a #2 emergency.

Toilet humor: Laughing at Dad’s cheesy jokes about the loo” (Dad Jokes about Toilet)

1. Did you hear about the toilet that went trick-or-treating? It said “I’m the loo!”
2. Why couldn’t the toilet bowl hold a conversation? Because it was porcelain.
3. I sat on the toilet for so long, I started a new chapter of my book. It was a real page-turner.
4. What did one toilet say to the other? We really need to clean up our act.
5. Did you hear about the toilet that went to Hollywood? It was a real flushionista.
6. How many plumbers does it take to fix a clogged toilet? None, they just plunge right in.
7. Why was the toilet paper feeling depressed? Because it was always getting used and then thrown away.
8. I asked my wife if she knew what happened to the toilet brush. She said she didn’t give a crap.
9. Why did the toilet go to the doctor? Because it was feeling flushed.
10. Did you know toilets have a secret superpower? They can teleport you straight to your phone when you forget it on top.
11. Why did the toilet go to law school? Because it wanted to become a brief case.
12. I tried to write a joke about constipation, but it never came out right.
13. Why did the toilet keep getting pulled over by the police? Because it was always passing the speed limit.
14. What did the toilet say to the skunk? P.U.
15. Why did the toilet want to take a vacation? It needed some time to stool-tivate.
16. What do you call it when you sit on the toilet for too long? A butt print.
17. Did you hear about the Shih Tzu who ate too much toilet paper? He had a real poodle problem.
18. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? It wanted to get to the bottom.
19. I told my son that I needed to use the bathroom. He asked if it was both number one and number two, and I said no, just number one and a half.
20. How does a toilet flirt? It drops some cheesy pickup lines like “Do you come here often?”

Flushed with Laughter: Hilarious Quotes about the ‘Toilet’

1. “I hate when people leave the toilet seat up. It’s like a never-ending game of surprise splashdown.”
2. “Toilet paper math: always take more than you think you need, unless it’s the last roll.”
3. “My bathroom doesn’t have a window, but it sure has a skylight when I forget to turn on the fan.”
4. “I’ve never understood the logic of having magazines in the bathroom. Like, am I supposed to read while I pee?”
5. “Why do they call it a restroom? I never come out feeling more rested.”
6. “I don’t always use my phone while on the toilet, but when I do, it’s guaranteed to be my longest sitting session yet.”
7. “Coffee makes me poop, which completes the circle of life.”
8. “You know you have a good friend when they bring an extra roll of toilet paper to your house without you even having to ask.”
9. “The only thing more embarrassing than clogging someone else’s toilet is having to ask them for a plunger.”
10. “If talking on the phone while on the toilet is considered taboo, then someone please explain conference calls to me.”
11. “My dog always follows me into the bathroom, which makes complete sense because we both love sniffing around and taking care of business.”
12. “You never truly appreciate a good toilet until you’ve had to use a porta potty.”
13. “Sometimes I wish my toilet had a ‘flush and wash hands’ option for when I’m feeling extra lazy.”
14. The best part of working from home? Having full control over the cleanliness and availability of my personal throne.”
15. “My ex never saw eye to eye with me on the proper direction to hang a roll of toilet paper. Good riddance.”
16. “My bladder has a special talent for knowing when I’m about to sit down to a fancy dinner or hop into bed.”
17. “Struggling to find the perfect playlist to accompany your bubble bath? Just put on the sound of a toilet flushing and you’re golden.”
18. “I told my husband if he ever buys a squatty potty I’m divorcing him. Not because I don’t support good bowel health, but because I can’t handle the extra toilet-hogging time.”
19. “I respect a man who can unclog a toilet without complaining, especially if it’s not his own mess.”
20. “I can only laugh now at the time I spent searching ‘poop spray’ on Amazon when I first heard of Poo-Pourri.”

Sitting on the Throne: Hilarious Toiletries Wisdom

1. “A clean toilet is a clean conscience.”
2. “A toilet paper shortage is a surefire way to test your relationship.”
3. “A good flush clears the mind as well as the bowels.”
4. “A bad day can always be turned around with a good poop.”
5. “The true test of friendship is sharing a bathroom stall.”
6. “A bathroom without a toilet is like a house without a roof.”
7. “Flushing is the ultimate act of letting go.”
8. “A toilet seat left up is a recipe for disaster.”
9. “A broken toilet is a crappy situation.”
10. “The invention of the toilet was the true breakthrough of human evolution.”
11. “Happiness is finding a toilet in a foreign country.”
12. “A clogged toilet is nature’s way of telling you to slow down on the fiber.”
13. “A dirty toilet is a reflection of a dirty mind.”
14. “In times of trouble, the toilet is always there to lend a hand.”
15. “If only toilet paper was as loyal as your best friend.”
16. “The best stories are often told from the comfort of a toilet.”
17. “A toilet with a bidet is a game-changer.”
18. “Washing your hands after using the toilet is not optional, it’s common sense.”
19. “The true mark of a luxurious hotel is the quality of the toilet paper.”
20. “A bad case of diarrhea is like a game of Russian roulette with your toilet.”

Toilet-worthy Tantalizing Tongue-in-Cheek Double Entendres and Puns

1. “I’m just flushing out my thoughts.”
2. “I’ve got a lot of crap to deal with.”
3. “I’m going to sit on the throne for a while.”
4. “I’m taking a pee-ka-boo break.”
5. “I’m answering the call of nature.”
6. “I’ll be back in a flush.”
7. “Gotta drop the kids off at the pool.”
8. “I’m just taking a tinkle.”
9. “My bathroom breaks are off the charts.”
10. “I’m going to the porcelain palace.”
11. “I’m letting it all go down the drain.”
12. “I’ll be back, I really have to go with the flow.”
13. “I need to make some room for more food.”
14. “I’m just taking a load off.”
15. “I’m keeping the porcelain throne busy.”
16. “I’ve been sitting in this meeting all day, I need a bathroom break.”
17. “Gotta empty the tank.”
18. “I’m going to visit the porcelain gods.”
19. “I’m taking a deuce-dle-duo break.”
20. “I’ll be back, the bathroom is calling my name.”

Toilet humor flushed with recursive puns

1. Why was the toilet afraid of going to the dance? Because it couldn’t handle the basin drop!
2. Did you hear about the toilet that fell in love? It was head over bowls!
3. I can never trust a talking toilet, they’re always full of crap.
4. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
5. I can’t stomach any more toilet humor, it’s too tubesty!
6. What do you call a toilet that sings? A loo-per!
7. Why was the toilet jealous of the bath tub? Because it was getting all the things!
8. Can someone please flush out this joke? I think it’s gone down the drain.
9. What did the toilet say when it was sad? I’m feeling pretty poopy today.
10. How does a toilet greet its guests? With a royal flush, of course!
11. Did you hear about the toilet that went on strike? It demanded more bathroom breaks.
12. What did the plumber say to the clogged toilet? “Hey toilet, looks like you’re having a crappy day.”
13. Why did the toilet go to therapy? It was having some major cistern issues.
14. I don’t always tell dad jokes, but when I do, they’re toilet-ly funny.
15. Did you hear about the toilet who went to college? It finally got a degree in plumbing.
16. How does a toilet get its exercise? By doing a lot of number 2’s!
17. What do you call a toilet that doesn’t flush? A stool!
18. Why did the toilet go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little flushed.
19. I asked the toilet for some dating advice, but all it could say was “Don’t worry, it’s all about finding the right flush.”
20. What do you call a toilet that’s out of order? A non-poopular spot.

Toilet” Tom Swifties: A Potty-mouthed Exclamation!

1. “I can’t believe I fell in the toilet,” Tom flushed with embarrassment.
2. “This toilet is really clogged,” Tom said with a potty mouth.
3. “I forgot to put the seat down,” Tom added a bit pissed off.
4. “What a crappy situation,” Tom grunted on the john.
5. “Do you think the bathroom smells?” Tom asked with a scent of uncertainty.
6. “I need to take a dump,” Tom said with a stern look on his face.
7. “I think I ate something bad,” Tom groaned with a stomachache.
8. “I’m feeling light-headed,” Tom said while sitting on the throne.
9. “Is this toilet paper made of sandpaper?” Tom asked with a rough tone.
10. “I think I’ll be in here for a while,” Tom said with a hint of constipation.
11. “This bathroom is really stinky,” Tom said with a whiff of disgust.
12. “I can’t believe I’m stuck in here,” Tom sighed with resignation.
13. “Is there no end to this crappy situation?” Tom exclaimed with frustration.
14. “I never thought I’d miss having a bidet,” Tom said with a longing for cleanliness.
15. “I hope this toilet can handle my business,” Tom chuckled with a hint of doubt.
16. “I’m feeling quite relieved now,” Tom said with a satisfied grin.
17. “I think I’ll just sit here and contemplate life,” Tom said with a philosophical air.
18. “Looks like someone didn’t flush,” Tom pointed out with an accusing tone.
19. “I’ll be right back, nature calls,” Tom said with urgency.
20. “I just had an epiphany in the bathroom,” Tom said with a hint of enlightenment.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilet humor, let me in!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilet. Toilet who? Toilet humor, bet you didn’t see that one coming!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don’t let me in!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Flush. Flush who? Flush me outside, I forgot my toilet paper!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Plunger. Plunger who? Plunger the depths of toilet humor with this joke!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seat. Seat who? Seat tight, this joke is about to get crappy.
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Potty. Potty who? Potty mouth, so don’t repeat this joke in front of your parents!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bidet. Bidet who? Bidet you didn’t think this was a funny joke!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? TP. TP who? TP-ing your house if you don’t laugh at this joke!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Plumbers. Plumbers who? Plumbers here to fix your toilet, but don’t worry, the joke is still free.
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bowel. Bowel who? Bowel movement, I mean bowel. I mean…oh nevermind, this joke stinks.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loo. Loo who? Loo-k at me with all these toilet jokes!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? John. John who? John-t drop the soap in the toilet, trust me.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Overflow. Overflow who? Overflow-ing with laughter at this joke!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scrub. Scrub who? Scrub away the bad jokes, please.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Deodorizer. Deodorizer who? Deodorizer your bathroom, it smells like someone told a bad toilet joke in here.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Poop. Poop who? Poop-ular demand, another toilet joke!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sani. Sani who? Sani-tize your hands after laughing at this joke.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Flusher. Flusher who? Flusher face and keep laughing at these jokes.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Splash. Splash who? Splash-ing in the punny toilet jokes all day long!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Handle. Handle who? Handle with care, these toilet jokes might make you pee your pants!

Toilet Humor: Playing with ‘Toilet’ Malapropisms

1. “Commode-ian” – a person who is particularly skilled at using the toilet.
2. “Loo-nacy” – the state of being overly obsessed with using the bathroom.
3. “Flushtrated” – feeling frustrated while trying to use the toilet.
4. “Urinalysis” – a thorough examination of the bathroom.
5. “Potty humor” – jokes or comments related to using the toilet.
6. “Toilet-papered” – confused or disorganized due to excessive use of the bathroom.
7. “Seat-tle” – a small, cramped bathroom.
8. “Rest Roommate” – someone you share a bathroom with.
9. “Lavatory Logic” – the confusing and often nonsensical thought process one experiences while using the toilet.
10. “Fecal-ity” – the habit of always using the same toilet.
11. “Bidet Bach” – rehearsing a song or dance routine in the bathroom.
12. “Pee-mail” – messages written on the walls of a public restroom.
13. “Stall-igant” – feeling particularly fancy or important while using an upscale bathroom.
14. “Toilet-teer” – a connoisseur or expert on all things related to toilets.
15. “Poopalooza” – a big mess made in the bathroom.
16. “Potty-party” – a gathering of friends in the bathroom.
17. “Flushter” – someone who is easily scared or startled in the bathroom.
18. “Restroom-inate” – to spend an unusually long amount of time in the bathroom.
19. “Piddle-paddle” – aimless wandering in search of a bathroom.
20. “Craption” – a poorly functioning or dirty toilet.

A Tinkle in the Loo: Spoonerisms about Toilets

1. Foilet Toilet
2. Toomb Flusher
3. Plosh Brush
4. Lood Ticker
5. Tish Flush
6. Wiper Squeaker
7. Phlush Toam
8. Stolid Boomer
9. Prank Peeing
10. Trub Flush
11. Throat Flusher
12. Buzzy Flush
13. Smell Pot
14. Flubber Poshes
15. Banter Mop
16. Lard Toilet
17. Slission Flip
18. Gulp Worping
19. Douche Bool
20. Splatter Bowl

Flushed with Laughter: The Punny Potty Conclusion

Well folks, that wraps up our potty humor-filled post filled with over 230 puns about the porcelain throne. We hope we didn’t make you laugh so hard you needed to excuse yourself to the restroom. But before you go, make sure you check out our other pun-tastic posts for a guaranteed laugh. Because let’s face it, life is better with a little laughter and a lot of toilet jokes. Happy flushing!