Wipe Out Boredom: 135+ Toilet Paper Jokes & Puns for Your Next Party!
🚽Looking for a bit of humor to brighten up your day? Look no further than this list of the best toilet paper jokes and puns! From clever wordplay to hilarious scenarios, these jokes are sure to leave your kids giggling and your spirits lifted. So grab a roll of toilet paper and get ready to have a laugh. Because let’s face it, sometimes a little bit of humor is all we need to make a “crappy” situation more bearable. 😂 #ToiletPaperJokes #Humor #Funny #Jokes #ForKids
Flush out some laughs: Top “Toilet Paper” Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- “Why couldn’t the toilet paper roll downhill? Because it was on a roll.”
- “What do you call a toilet paper that’s always late? Tardy-paper.”
- “Did you hear about the toilet paper that got married? The ceremony was a real roll-ler coaster.”
- “I only use luxury toilet paper, it’s the softest way to go.”
- “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.”
- “What’s the best type of music to listen to while using the toilet? Wrap music.”
- “Why did the toilet paper go on a diet? It wanted to look thin-ply.”
- “What does a piece of toilet paper say when it sees its reflection? Sheet, I look good.”
- “Why did the toilet paper go to the doctor? It had a bad case of the runs.”
- “I can’t be-leaf I ran out of toilet paper in the middle of this pun.”
- “Why did the toilet paper go on strike? It was tired of being taken for granted.”
Flush away your troubles with these hilarious one-liners – Funny Toilet Paper Jokes
- Why was the roll of toilet paper crying? Because it got stuck in a really crappy job.
- My doctor prescribed me a new diet… but I think he misunderstood when I asked for more fiber.
- How does a toilet paper roll greet its friends? With a big “unroll” hug.
- Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone your true identity… you’re just Clark “Klingon” toilet paper to me.
- Some days I feel like I could wrap the entire world in toilet paper… but then I remember I’m not a mummy.
- You know you’re having a rough day when you have to use the cardboard tube as toilet paper.
- Why is toilet paper so smart? Because it’s always on a roll.
- I finally achieved my dream job… I work as a toilet paper tester.
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
- What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper? “I’m feeling a little wiped out today.”
- They say you are what you eat… but I guess that makes me a roll of toilet paper.
- Never trust a talking roll of toilet paper… they’re usually full of crap.
- Why don’t spiders get caught on toilet paper? Because they have sticky fingers.
- You know you’re a true friend when you give someone your last square of toilet paper.
- My therapist told me to start being more assertive… so I ripped off a sheet of toilet paper without tearing along the perforated line. Take that, society!
Flush Away Boredom with These QnA Jokes & Puns about Toilet Paper
- Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom!
- Q: What did the toilet paper say to the bathroom user? A: “I’m on a roll!”
- Q: How does a polite toilet paper ask for permission to be used? A: “May I unroll myself for you?”
- Q: What did one roll of toilet paper say to the other? A: “I feel like we’re on a roll together!”
- Q: Why did the toilet paper go to the doctor? A: Because it was feeling a little down in the dumps.
- Q: What do you call a zombie with no toilet paper? A: The Walking Dead-end!
- Q: What did the toilet paper say when it got stuck in the tree? A: “I must be on a roll!”
- Q: Why was the toilet paper afraid to open the bathroom door? A: Because it knew it was about to be on a roll again!
- Q: How many squares of toilet paper does it take to make a snowman? A: Two-ply.
- Q: How many rolls of toilet paper does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Sorry, I can’t answer that. It’s too dark in here!
- Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road? A: To get to the other roll.
- Q: What’s a plain roll of toilet paper’s favorite music genre? A: Hip-roll!
- Q: What did the toilet paper detective say on the case? A: “Something just doesn’t add up…”
- Q: What do you call a toilet paper that’s running away? A: A rolling stone!
- Q: How does toilet paper greet each other? A: “Nice to meet you! Let’s get together and unroll some good times!”
Un(r)olling Hilarious Dad Jokes about Toilet Paper
- How does a plumber change a toilet roll? They roll with it! 🚽
- What did the roll of toilet paper say to the other roll? “I’m wiped out!” 🧻
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the toilet paper factory? They’re holding it for ransom! 💰
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! ⛰️
- How many squares of toilet paper does it take to make a TP dress? About four squares! 👗
- What did the toilet paper say to its rival tissue paper? “I’m on a roll!” 🚀
- Did you hear the one about the toilet paper? Never mind, it’s tearable. 🤣
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of toilet paper! 🏆
- Why wasn’t the toilet paper allowed to cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack! 🚫
- What name did they give the new brand of toilet paper? Rolls Royce. 🧻
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom! 🔃
- What did the toilet paper say when it found out it was replaced by a bidet? “That’s a washout!” 💦
- Did you hear about the toilet paper named Bob? It was used, but that’s just how it rolls. 🤷♂️
- Why did the toilet paper roll off the edge of the countertop? It had a dirty job to do and couldn’t handle the pressure! 💩
- What did the toilet paper say when it got the job promotion? “Looks like I’ve been promoted to VP – very plush!” 📈
Life is like toilet paper, you never know how much you need until you run out – Funny Quotes about Toilet Paper
- “Toilet paper is the ultimate test of love: if you’re willing to share your last roll with someone, you know it’s the real deal.”
- “I may not have a fancy bidet, but I have toilet paper and that’s all I need to feel luxurious.”
- “If you can’t handle me at my worst (out of toilet paper), then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best (with a fully stocked supply).”
- “Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”
- “Toilet paper is the duct tape of the bathroom world – it fixes everything.”
- “My love language is providing my guests with an endless supply of plush toilet paper.”
- “I don’t always buy expensive things, but when I do, it’s toilet paper.”
- “Who needs expensive face masks? A few squares of toilet paper and you’ve got yourself a DIY beauty treatment.”
- “Invest in good quality toilet paper, because you never know what the day will bring.”
- “Sorry I can’t hang out, I just found out I’m down to my last roll of toilet paper.”
- “You never appreciate toilet paper until it’s gone, and then you realize it truly was your best friend.”
- “I don’t understand why some people are stockpiling toilet paper – I just bought a bidet and now I have a never-ending supply.”
- “Forget diamonds, toilet paper is a girl’s real best friend.”
- “Happiness is a never-ending roll of 2-ply, am I right?”
- “Toilet paper: the one thing that 2020 has taught us we can’t live without.”
Wipe away those tears of laughter with our collection of toilet paper proverbs!
- “A roll of toilet paper is worth two in the bathroom.”
- “A full roll of TP keeps the bathroom blues away.”
- “Behind every successful poop, there’s a trusty roll of toilet paper.”
- “A clean bum is a happy bum, thanks to toilet paper.”
- “A day without toilet paper is like a day without sunshine.”
- “If you can’t find a silver lining, at least find some toilet paper.”
- “When life gives you lemons, make lemon-scented toilet paper.”
- “Better to have a shortage of toilet paper than a shortage of patience.”
- “A roll in hand is worth two on the shelf.”
- “The early bird gets the last roll of toilet paper.”
- “Out of sight, out of mind…until you run out of toilet paper.”
- “Toilet paper: the unsung hero of bathroom etiquette.”
- “Don’t count your rolls of TP before you flush.”
- “When in doubt, double up on the TP.”
- “Toilet paper: the MVP of bathroom survival.”
Wipe in Style: Toilet Paper’s Double Duty as a Pun Master
- “I could use some extra cash, but I don’t think selling toilet paper on the black market is a sustainable business model. #wipingoutprofits”
- “I hate when I run out of toilet paper while on the toilet, talk about a sticky situation!”
- “Why did the toilet paper go to therapy? Because it was feeling wiped out.”
- “What did one roll of toilet paper say to the other? ‘Surely you can’t be roll-ing your eyes at me.'”
- “Did you hear about the new dance craze? It’s called the Toilet Paper Tango – it’s all about keeping the rolls stocked up and never getting caught with your pants down.”
- “I’m not saying toilet paper is a miracle worker, but it can clean up some pretty crappy situations.”
- “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom, of course!”
- “I accidentally bought toilet paper with aloe in it… Now my bathroom smells like a spa. #fancybutt”
- “Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to the other roll.”
- “My doctor said I need to increase my fiber intake, but I have a feeling that just means I need to buy more toilet paper.”
- “You know you’re an adult when a freshly stocked roll of toilet paper gets you more excited than a night out.”
- “I’m not saying toilet paper holds the key to happiness, but it definitely helps unlock some peace of mind.”
- “Why did the toilet paper fail its job interview? Because it couldn’t handle the pressure.”
- “If I had a dollar for every time I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet, I could afford to buy the good, plush toilet paper.”
- “You could say I’m a pretty big deal… I even have my own personalized roll of toilet paper with my face on it.”
Toilet paper: the endless cycle of rolls and rolls of laughs. #RecursivePuns
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Because it wanted to get to the bottom emoji 🧻🎢
- I ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use a newspaper… it was the Times of desperation emoji 🗞️🚽
- What do you call a piece of toilet paper that gets caught in the wind? A flyghty 🧻🌬️
- Why did the toilet paper go to therapy? Because it felt like it was being torn apart emoji 🧻💔
- What did the toilet paper say to the tissue? “Let’s roll together” emoji 🧻🤝
- Why was the toilet paper embarrassed? Because it had a little behind emoji 🧻🙈
- How does toilet paper stay fresh? It uses anti-sheet-ing cream emoji 🧻💆♀️
- Why did the toilet paper go on strike? It wanted a better roll in life 🧻💼
- What do you call a toilet paper salesman? A roll model emoji 🧻💰
- Why did the toilet paper need glasses? To see its brownie points emoji 🧻👓
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of toilet paper? The kind with arrrr-oma therapy 🧻⛵
- How do you know when toilet paper is happy? It’s on a roll emoji 🧻😂
- What’s a mummy’s favorite brand of toilet paper? Bounty (because it’s quicker picker upper) emoji 🧻🚫
- Why did the toilet paper break up with the plunger? It just wasn’t a good match emoji 🧻❌🚽
- What did one roll of toilet paper say to the other? “I’m on a roll today” emoji 🧻🤣
Tearing up the Dance Floor with Toilet Paper Tom Swifties
- “I’m done unrolling this roll,” said Tom, exhaustedly. 💩
- “I can’t find the end of the roll,” Tom stated incredulously. 😂
- “I ran out of toilet paper,” Tom said, with a paper-thin smile. 🚽
- “I accidentally bought single-ply,” Tom confessed, uncomfortably. 🤫
- “I need to stock up on toilet paper,” Tom said, gratefully. 🧻
- “I found a new brand of toilet paper,” Tom exclaimed, charismatically. 💸
- “I’m not sure what to do with this leftover roll,” Tom pondered, thoughtfully. 🤔
- “I always have a tissue when I need it,” Tom said, with a twinkle in his eye. ✨
- “I have a coupon for toilet paper,” Tom whispered, conspiratorially. 💰
- “I never know how much toilet paper to use,” Tom pondered, tearfully. 😢
- “I should’ve bought the mega pack,” Tom regretted, with a heavy heart. 💔
- “I’m boycotting scented toilet paper,” Tom declared, with a sniffle. 🤧
- “I think someone’s been stealing my toilet paper,” Tom accused, with a raised eyebrow. 🕵️♂️
- “I’m really into all-natural toilet paper,” Tom revealed, smoothly. 🌱
Quip about the Quarantine Craze of Knock-knock Jokes about Toilet Paper
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? TP. TP who? TP-licious!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iwanna. Iwanna who? Iwanna take some of this toilet paper, please!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wrap. Wrap who? Wrap your mind around this: I forgot to buy toilet paper!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me outside, how ’bout dat TP supply?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Roll. Roll who? Roll out the red carpet because we just found a toilet paper roll!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Squishy. Squishy who? Sorry, but my toilet paper stock is looking a little squishy right now.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pile. Pile who? Piles of toilet paper are a sight for sore eyes right now.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wipe. Wipe who? Wipe your feet before entering, we have a fresh supply of TP waiting for you.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Soft. Soft who? Soften the blow of not having toilet paper and share some with me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Squares. Squares who? Squares in my toilet paper squares, who needs ’em?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loo. Loo who? Loo out, we’re running low on toilet paper!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? IfIhad. IfIhad who? IfIhad a stash of toilet paper, I’d share it with you.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toot. Toot who? Toot, toot, the TP train has arrived just in time.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean up your act and stock up on some more toilet paper!
Wrapping up these punderful TP puns!
Well, folks, that wraps up our pun-tastic journey through the world of toilet paper jokes and puns! 💩 We hope you found these jokes to be a real wipe-out and had you rolling on the bathroom floor in laughter. 😂 Don’t forget to check out our other posts for more hilarious puns and jokes. And remember, always keep a good supply of toilet paper on hand, because you never know when nature will call! 🚽💩