115+ Water Jokes & Puns: You're Soggy to Miss!

Dive into the best pool of humor you’ll find on the internet – a list of water jokes and puns that are sure to make you laugh! Get ready for a wave of funny wordplay and clever quips that are sure to quench your thirst for humor. Did you know that water is the only substance found naturally on Earth in three states? Well, get ready to experience humor in three states as well: laughing, giggling, and clutching your sides! This collection of puns about water is positively overflowing with fun. Let’s make a splash!

Top Water Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Stay Hydrated with Humor

Feeling drained? You might just be dehydrated.
I got water in my keyboard. Now it’s a pool table.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Water you waiting for? Go get a drink!
Did you hear about the ocean’s bakery? They specialize in tide-bits.
My therapist told me to be more in touch with my emotions. So I took a bath.
My friend’s career goal is to purify water. He wants to make a splash in the world.
H2O is water, but what is H2O4? Drinking, drinking, drinking…
The ocean is so salty because the sea never waves back.
I dropped my phone in the toilet. Guess I’ll have to get it aqua-fixed.
My water bottle is half full. Of air, but still…optimistic!
The water cycle is fascinating. It’s like Mother Nature’s laundry day.
I hate it when my emotions get bottled up. Especially when it’s carbonated.
Life is like a water slide. It’s all fun and games until you see the line for the bathroom.

Funny Water Jokes With One Liner Clever Water Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Water One-Liner Jokes To Quench Your Thirst For Laughter

I went to a stand-up comedy show about hydration. It was easy to get into, there was no cover charge.
My friend tried to make sparkling water out of tap water and electricity. He’s got all the right ingredients, he just doesn’t have the right current situation.
Did you hear about the ocean that wanted to be a comedian? He’s got great material.
The ocean is always so salty, you think he’d be happier with all that water.
Have you heard of the new “Water Diet”? You just surround yourself with it.
How did the ocean get so big? It took lots of little steps.
Why did the lake break up with the river? They had nothing in common.
I just got a job at SeaWorld, I’m now a water-cooler.
Why don’t they play cards in the ocean? Too many sharks.
What do you call it when you get hit with a wave of drowsiness at the beach? A tide-ing nap.
My friend told me he accidentally swallowed a bunch of lake water. I said, “Well, at least it’s natural spring water!”
How did the puddle get to work so quickly? It carpooled.
I bought some distilled water the other day, it said it’s for ironing, but I’m pretty sure that’s just a mist-understanding.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw!

QnA Jokes & Puns about Water: Making a Splash with Humor

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach? A: Nothing, it just waved! 🌊
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth that’s always near water? A: A gummy bear stream! 🐻🍬
Q: Why did the water break up with the ice? A: Because it said things were getting too cold! 🥶
Q: What does a nosey pepper do at sea? A: It gets jalapeno business! 🌶️🚢
Q: I just bought a water bed on sale. What do you think? A: Sounds like a great way to make waves in the bedroom! 😉🛏️
Q: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? A: I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere and the water bill was astronomical! 🚀🌕
Q: What do you get if you cross a lake and a famous pirate? A: Captain Blackbeard’s watery grave! 💀🏴‍☠️
Q: How does the ocean say hello? A: It waves! 👋
Q: What did the ocean say to the lifeguard on a hot day? A: Nothing, it just waved! 👋
Q: Why is the ocean so salty? A: Because the land never waves back! 👋😭
Q: Where does bottled water go on vacation? A: To the Fiji Islands! 🌴🍾
Q: What runs but cannot walk? A: Water! 🏃‍♀️💧
Q: What do you get when you combine a lemon and a cat? A: A sour puss that hates getting wet! 🍋🐱
Q: My friend tried to make me drink effervescent water this morning. A: Wow, that’s so bubbly of them! 🫧
Q: How do we know the ocean is friendly? A: It waves! 👋😊
Q: I just got hit in the face with a liter of water! A: Ouch! That’s one way to make a splash! 💦😄

Dad Jokes about Water: They’re all tide up

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything, even the water!
My friend said water is his biggest fear… I guess you could say he has hydrophobia… I, on the other hand, find that ridiculous; I mean, what’s he gonna do, drink ya?
Did you hear about the water bottle that broke the world record? It set a new standard.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw!
Where do water droplets go to settle an argument? The Supreme Quart!
Why did the ocean get mad at the river? It kept pushing its buttons!
I thought I saw a celebrity in the water park… Turned out it was just a common wave.
My son asked me what the opposite of water is… I said, “Fire! …What did you think it was?”
What do you call it when you get a really good deal on a boat? A sail! …Get it? …Like a sale…? Oh, forget it.
What kind of music do puddles listen to? Anything they can get their hands on!
A scientist just created a new type of water… …But they don’t have a name for it yet. Any suggestions? I’m dyeing to know what they come up with!
Why don’t they play poker in the rainforest? Too much humidity… and too many cheetahs!
Why don’t fish like basketball? They’re afraid of the net!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Water To Make You Wet Yourself Laughing

“My therapist told me to be more in touch with my emotions. So I hugged a waterfall. Turns out, it was feeling pretty misty.”
“Just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% hydro-homie.”
“My spirit animal is a glacier. Super chill, until I crack under pressure.”
“Is it called ‘water’boarding because it’s really awkward to do on land?”
“I don’t believe in love at first sight. But I do believe in dehydration at first sight. Drink some water!”
“Relationship status: thirsty. For some H2-Oh yeah!”
“I’m like a water slide. Go with the flow or get out of my way.”
“You can never have too much water. Unless you’re at a pool party. Then, too much water is everyone else’s problem.”
“They say love is like finding a beautiful oasis in the desert… personally, I’d settle for a vending machine full of bottled water.”
“I’m not saying I’m addicted to water, but I do have a water bottle for every mood…and outfit.”
“I put my water bottle sticker collection on my resume under “Special Skills.”
“If swimming is such great exercise, explain drowning. Case closed.”
“Sure, I’ll go out tonight. But if I’m not back by midnight, it’s because I found a drinking fountain with really good water pressure.”
“Wrote a song about water. It’s pretty fluid, if you ask me.”
“Never judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Unless it’s a salmon. Those guys are overachievers.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Water: Making Waves with H2O Humor

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him fill out his online dating profile. (Some things are just out of your control).
Still waters run deep, but shallow waters make for better belly flops. (Sometimes, it’s okay not to overthink things).
Water under the bridge? More like awkward memories I’m desperately trying to forget. (Some things are harder to let go of than others).
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch…unless you’re counting on them to drink all the water in the coop. (Planning is good, but life finds a way).
A watched pot never boils, but a neglected one sends you running for the fire extinguisher. (Pay attention, folks. It matters!).
Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink… unless you brought your reusable bottle like I told you. (Be prepared, or be perpetually parched).
Life is like a box of chocolates, except when it’s more like a glass of water that you definitely didn’t order but got charged for anyway. (Life is full of surprises, both good and frustratingly mundane).
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and in desperate need of a strong cup of coffee, not water. (Hydration is important, but caffeine is life).
Many hands make light work, especially when transferring heavy water cooler jugs. (Teamwork is key, especially for awkwardly shaped objects).
You can’t fit a square peg in a round hole, and you can’t fit an entire watermelon in a standard blender. Trust me on this one. (Some things just don’t mix, no matter how hard you try).
Where there’s a will, there’s a way to accidentally drop your phone in the toilet. Keep those things in your pockets, people! (Accidents happen, especially in the bathroom).
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was that giant ice sculpture you’re trying to make in your backyard. Pace yourself. (Great things take time and probably multiple trips to the grocery store for more ice).
Two wrongs don’t make a right, especially when both wrongs involve forgetting to water your houseplants. RIP, leafy friend. (Sometimes, you just mess up twice).
The early bird gets the worm, but the early fish gets to enjoy the pristine, pre-cannonball water. (Timing is everything).
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and a really strong craving for some coconut water. (Even epic adventures need adequate hydration).

Water Double Entendres Puns: Stay Hydrated with Humor

They say water is the key to longevity, so I’ve decided to drown my problems in Fiji. (Playing on drowning sorrows and high-quality water).
My therapist told me to imagine my happy place. Turns out, it’s a supermarket aisle. So many brands of sparkling water, so little time. (Poking fun at the overwhelming variety of water options)
I’m at that age where “getting lucky” means finding my water bottle on the first try. (Playing on the phrase’s double meaning of romance and everyday luck).
Always trust bottled water. After all, it’s spring water that went to college. (Implying bottled water is more “refined” like a college graduate).
Did you hear about the water bottle that broke up with the plastic cup? It said, “I need someone who can really hold me.” (Playing on the physical property of containment).
My friend tried to convince me that “sparkling water with lemon” is basically a party. I told him, “Get a lime-f.” (Mocking the idea of sparkling water as exciting and using a pun on “life”).
Someone asked me if I like my water still or sparkling. I said, “Emotionally unavailable.” (Sarcastically connecting emotional unavailability with water preferences).
My doctor told me to drink more water every day. I think he’s just trying to make me a better listener. (Playing on the idiom “in one ear and out the other”).
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself about. Now, I’m addicted to water. It’s H2-Oh-no! (Using a popular phrase and wordplay for addiction).
Is it just me, or does ice water get offended when you call it “room temperature” after five minutes? (Personifying water and its temperature sensitivity).
Remember, folks, drinking water won’t solve all your problems. You’ll also need a straw. (A silly and unexpected twist on the benefits of water).
Just saw a movie about a talking bottle of water. Pretty good, but the plot was predictable. (Playing on the expectation that water is “plain”).
My new year’s resolution was to drink more water. Turns out, I’m really good at making empty promises. (Sarcastic take on not following through with self-improvement).
I told my friend all my problems. He said, “You need to drink more water.” I said, “Will that help?” He said, “No, but it’ll give us something to talk about.” (Playing on the social aspect of sharing a drink and small talk).
They say water has zero calories. But I swear, every time I walk past the fridge, it calls my name. (Humorously blaming water for cravings).

Funny Water Tom Swifties: Jokes to Quench Your Thirst

“This water is too cold!” Tom said icily.
“I love swimming in the ocean,” Tom said swimmingly.
“That wave totally soaked me!” Tom said dryly.
“This glass is empty!” Tom said thirst-ily.
“The water park has amazing slides!” Tom said with a splash.
“Did you know water boils at 212 degrees?” Tom said steamingly.
“This bottled water cost a fortune!” Tom said richly.
“My, this water sure is refreshing!” Tom said coolly.
“I just swam 20 laps!” Tom said breathlessly.
“Make sure to stay hydrated out there!” Tom said fluidly.
“Be careful, the pool floor is slippery,” Tom said cautiously.
“Hurray, it’s raining!” Tom said with a sprinkle of excitement.
“I can’t believe how deep this lake is!” Tom said profoundly.
“Turn the faucet off already!” Tom said drippingly.
“That puddle is surprisingly shallow,” Tom said wadingly.
“This water tastes strangely metallic,” Tom said, ironically.
“Watch me do a cannonball!” Tom said with a splash of bravado.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Water: You’re Totally Soaked!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water you waiting for? Let’s go swimming! 🏊‍♀️
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? It’s Water shame we didn’t bring our swimsuits! 👙
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water you talking about? I love swimming! 🤔
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water-ever you say, you’re the splashing expert! 💦
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water those plants already, they look thirsty! 🌱
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water great time for a pool party! 🎉
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water you doing later? Want to build a sandcastle? 🏖️
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water the chances of us winning this water balloon fight? 🎈
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water you doing with that hose? It’s a sprinkler day! ☀️
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water-ever floats your boat, as long as it’s not a puddle! 🚣‍♀️
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water way to make a splash! You’re soaking wet! 🌊
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water-melon, my favorite summer snack! 🍉
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water your plans for today? Mine involve a slip ‘n slide! 🛝
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water you looking at? It’s just a glass of H2-Oh-so-refreshing water! 💧
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water we going to do about this heat? Let’s jump in the pool! 🥵
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water Water who? Water-fall in love with? The ocean, of course! 💙