230+ Wedlock Wits: Hilarious Puns and Jokes about Weddings

funny Wedding jokes with one liner clever Wedding puns at PunnyFunny.com

Looking for some wedding humor guaranteed to make everyone in the room chuckle? Well, congratulations, you’ve found the best puns about weddings! From knee-slapping dad jokes to clever one-liners, this list of wedding jokes is perfect for all ages, especially the little ones who will appreciate some silly humor. Whether you’re a soon-to-be newlywed or just love a good laugh, get ready to add some positive vibes to your big day with these hilarious wedding jokes. Let’s get this wed-reading party started!

Going to the matrimony chuckle zone with these ‘Wedding’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!

  1. Why did the bride’s father wear sunglasses to the wedding? Because he was a proud paparazzi!
  2. I’m not saying my husband is cheap, but at our wedding, we served “plate or plastic” for dinner.
  3. Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.
  4. The bride tried to make a toast, but she was on a strict budget, so she just raised her glass and said, “Champagne taste on a beer budget!”
  5. The groom asked his groomsmen if they wanted to hear a joke about a pencil. They said no, so he didn’t have to pencil it in.
  6. I told my husband, “We shouldn’t get married in a garden because our love is already blossoming.” He replied, “Don’t worry, we’ll save money and get married in a Root 66.”
  7. Why did the bride and groom get married in an ice cream parlor? Because they were each other’s sundae.
  8. The groom’s dance moves were so bad that the DJ had to ask if there were any certified chiropractors in the room.
  9. I can always count on my husband to make me laugh, especially when he’s trying to fold a fitted sheet.
  10. Why did the bride insist on a fairy tale themed wedding? Because she wanted to see her prince charming ride in on a white horse… or at least a white limo.
  11. The groom was so nervous before the wedding that he couldn’t even tie his own tie. Luckily, his best man had a lot of practice with knot-tying from his fishing hobby.
  12. Marriage is like a deck of cards… in the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, but by the end you wish you had a club and a spade.
  13. Why did the bride and groom choose to have a small wedding? Because they didn’t want to start their marriage in debt…or with a bunch of unwanted wedding gifts from distant relatives.
  14. The groom’s brother gave a heartfelt speech, and then ended it by saying, “Now let’s raise our glasses and cheers to the happiest couple…until figure skating season starts again.”
  15. The bride’s aunt asked if the couple would be having an open bar. She then clarified, “I mean, will the bar be open to me?”
  16. Why did the cake cry at the wedding? Because it was having an emotional “tier” moment.
  17. The best man gave a touching toast, but in the end added, “Now let’s all take a moment to remember the groom before his bachelor pad turns into a man cave.”
  18. My husband and I have been happily married for a week now… but boy, does it feel like a decade!
  19. Why did the bride and groom choose to get married in a cemetery? Because marriage is ’til death do us part anyways.
  20. The bride gave her bridesmaids a personalized gift, but couldn’t decide what to put on the note. Her husband suggested, “Thanks for being my right hands!”

Keep the laughter going with these hilarious Funny Wedding One-Liner Jokes

  1. Why did the Wedding cake go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of tiers.
  2. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
  3. Did you hear about the new wedding trend? Instead of a bouquet toss, they’re doing a student loan debt toss.
  4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  5. My grandma always said, “Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”
  6. I told my husband we should try double dating. He said, “Why? I have you already.”
  7. What do you call a wedding between two doctors? A merger.
  8. I finally found my perfect match. It was a sale at the shoe store.
  9. Why did the chicken cross the aisle at the wedding? To get away from the mashed potatoes and gravy.
  10. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
  11. The key to a happy marriage? A remote without batteries.
  12. I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary. She said, “A divorce.” I replied, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
  13. What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind, marriage is an eye-opener.
  14. I tried to surprise my wife with a candlelit dinner, but I accidentally set the whole table on fire. Now she wants a ring.
  15. Why did the couple get married on top of a mountain? So they could start their marriage on a peak.
  16. I told my husband I wanted a fairy tale wedding. So he locked me in a tower and ran off with his ex.
  17. Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.
  18. What did the best man say to the groom before the wedding? Don’t screw this up like you did your bachelor party.
  19. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low. She looked surprised again.
  20. Why was the wedding cake so sad? Because it was about to get cut into pieces.

Unveiling the Hilarity: QnA Jokes & Puns about Wedding Vows

  1. Q: What did the dog say when he got invited to the wedding? A: “I’ll be the best man’s best friend!”
  2. Q: What did the groom say when he saw his bride walking down the aisle? A: “I do love at first sight!”
  3. Q: What did the bride say when she tried on her wedding dress for the first time? A: “I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be a tight fit!”
  4. Q: Why did the bride’s wedding gown keep getting smaller and smaller? A: Because she was running out of gown puns!
  5. Q: Why did the bride decide to have a garden theme wedding? A: Because she wanted to let love blossom!
  6. Q: Why did the marriage counselor decide to get married? A: Because she wanted to test her hypothesis!
  7. Q: What did the wedding cake say to the newlyweds? A: “I promise to be a sweet support throughout your marriage!”
  8. Q: What do you call a group of bridesmaids walking down the aisle? A: A bride tribe!
  9. Q: Why did the best man forget his speech at the wedding? A: Because he got cold feet!
  10. Q: What kind of music do ghosts play at their wedding? A: Soul music!
  11. Q: Why did the groom have to wear sunglasses during the ceremony? A: Because his future was looking bright!
  12. Q: Why did the bride panic when she couldn’t find her wedding shoes? A: Because she was running out of time to say “I do-las!”
  13. Q: Why did the wedding planner get fired? A: Because she kept trying to make the groomsmen tuxedo penguin-themed!
  14. Q: Why did the groom ask for a banana on his wedding day? A: Because he wanted to make a split decision!
  15. Q: What did the maid of honor say when she caught the bouquet? A: “Looks like I caught myself a good man catcher!”
  16. Q: Why did the bride put her bouquet in the freezer after the wedding? A: She was trying to preserve the romance!
  17. Q: Why did the caterer decide to join a wedding? A: Because they heard there would be an open bar!
  18. Q: What did the bride’s mom say when she saw her daughter in her wedding dress? A: “You’ll be the bell of the ball gown!”
  19. Q: Why did the wedding photographer cry during the ceremony? A: Because they were capturing a picture-perfect moment!
  20. Q: What did the pastor say when the groom was nervous during the vows? A: “Don’t worry, it’s just cold feet, not cold feet!”

Get the guests laughing with these ‘Dad Jokes about Wedding’ during the reception

  1. ) Why did the bride’s mother-in-law insist on catering the wedding? She wanted to make sure someone besides the bride was crying.
  2. ) What did the groom’s father say when asked about the wedding budget? “We’re going rogue, we’re not gonna budge it.”
  3. ) Did you hear about the two silkworms who got married? It was a lovely spin-off.
  4. ) Why did the flower girl run away from the bride? She was petal-ing away from the commitment.
  5. ) What do you call a groom who only eats organically sourced food at his wedding? A marry-time eater.
  6. ) Did you hear about the baker who refused to make a wedding cake because he didn’t want to be part of a great pâte-ernity suit?
  7. ) How do you make a tissue dance at a wedding? Put a little boogie in it.
  8. ) Why did the couple decide to get married at their local boat dealership? Because they wanted to sail into wedlock.
  9. ) What did the DJ say to the wedding guests when the dance floor was cleared out? Don’t worry, we’ll build a bridge to the next song.
  10. ) Why did the best man wear sneakers to the wedding? Because he was running late.
  11. ) Did you hear about the grammarian who got married? The ceremony was beautiful, but there were a lot of tense moments.
  12. ) Why did the groom need a ladder on his wedding day? To take his vows to the next level.
  13. ) Did you hear about the wedding that was held in a meadow? It was sow romantic.
  14. ) What did the bridesmaid say when she caught the bouquet? “Looks like I’m getting hitched. I mean…I’m already wearing a dress, might as well, right?”
  15. ) Why did the wedding cake go to therapy? It needed to process its layers of feelings.
  16. ) Did you hear about the wedding that was held on a farm? It was udderly charming.
  17. ) What did the maid of honor say when she tripped and fell at the wedding? “I guess you could say I fell for the bride and groom.”
  18. ) Why did the bride wear her hair in a bun on her wedding day? Because she wanted to roll with her new husband.
  19. ) What did the father of the groom say when he saw his son getting married? “I’m not losing a son, I’m gaining a free lawn mower.”
  20. ) Did you hear about the wedding that was held at the candy store? The vows were so sweet, they gave everyone cavities.

Laugh your way down the aisle with these hilarious wedding quotes

  1. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person…and a good prenup just in case.”
  2. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, by the end you wish you had a club and a spade.”
  3. “My wedding day was perfect…until I realized I actually have to spend the rest of my life with this person.”
  4. “They say marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Mission accomplished.”
  5. “A wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made, but it’s still a handcuff.”
  6. “I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary, and she said she just wanted something that went from 0 to 150 in under 3 seconds. So I got her a bathroom scale.”
  7. “You never truly know someone until you’ve taken a road trip with them or watched them try to assemble IKEA furniture.”
  8. “Marriage is basically asking someone to co-sign a loan for the rest of your life.”
  9. “Marriage is all about compromise. Like when my husband wants to cuddle, and I want the entire bed to myself.”
  10. “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
  11. “The only time I enjoy wedding planning is when it’s someone else’s wedding.”
  12. “My husband and I have a secret to making our marriage last. Two televisions.”
  13. “Why do they call it ‘getting cold feet’ before a wedding? Shouldn’t your feet be burning from running towards your future spouse?”
  14. “The hardest part of marriage is not snoring too loudly that you wake up your spouse.”
  15. “Marriage is like a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.”
  16. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
  17. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.”
  18. “Being married means having someone to share your life with…and to blame for leaving the toilet seat up.”
  19. “I don’t understand why people renew their wedding vows. Like, do they think the first time wasn’t binding enough?”
  20. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. It starts off with two hearts beating as one, and ends with a club in your hand and your spouse calling you an idiot.”

Marriage: Where love and laughter unite – Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Wedding

  1. Marriage is like a full-time job, with the added bonus of a permanent loudmouth boss.
  2. A wedding without a drunk uncle is no wedding at all.
  3. A bride without cold feet is like a clown without a red nose – just not the same.
  4. A successful marriage is like a multi-tiered cake – each layer supporting the next, until it all comes tumbling down in a delicious mess.
  5. The best way to save money on a wedding? Don’t invite your extended family.
  6. A marriage certificate is just a fancy way of saying “I promise to tolerate your quirks.”
  7. The secret to a happy marriage? Always remember to say, “Yes, dear.”
  8. Love may be blind, but marriage is a whole different level of blindness.
  9. A wedding ring is like a tiny handcuff to remind you that you’re now someone else’s property.
  10. The groom’s speech is like a game of Russian roulette – you never know when you’ll say the wrong thing.
  11. Marriage is a rollercoaster ride – hold on tight and enjoy the highs, and brace yourself for the lows.
  12. A happy marriage is a delicate balance of love, patience, and unlimited data plans.
  13. Walking down the aisle is like walking into battle – but instead of weapons, you have expensive flower arrangements.
  14. The key to a successful wedding? Don’t let your mother-in-law hijack the guest list.
  15. A bridezilla and a groomzilla make the perfect match – they can terrorize their guests together.
  16. Marriage advice from your single friends has about as much value as a paper umbrella in a hurricane.
  17. “Till death do us part” really means “till I can’t stand your snoring anymore.”
  18. A wedding dance is like a comedy show – the older the guests, the more entertaining it becomes.
  19. Just like a good wine, a marriage needs time to mature – and a lot of patience to get through the sour years.
  20. A wedding is like a game of chess – one wrong move and you could end up in checkmate for the rest of your life.

Vows and Laughs: Making Your Wedding Punny and Memorable

  1. “The bride asked me to take off her garter, I said ‘sure, just let me get a grip on things.'”
  2. “The groom’s ring was too big, he said ‘I guess I’ll have to lose weight before I can put it on.'”
  3. “The couple’s first dance was a real toe-tapper, especially since the bride was wearing stilettos.”
  4. “The honeymoon suite had a Jacuzzi, now that’s what I call getting wet and wild.”
  5. “After the ceremony, they were finally able to tie the knot.”
  6. “The bride’s bouquet was made of hot pink roses, talk about a blushing bride.”
  7. “The groom’s cut of beef was cooked to perfection, much like his new marriage.”
  8. “The wedding reception had an open bar, let’s just say some people took the ‘open’ part very seriously.”
  9. “The bride’s dress was so poofy, it needed its own seat on the plane.”
  10. “The groom’s vows were so heartfelt, they had everyone in tears…of laughter.”
  11. “The bride’s father gave a toast, we could tell it was from the heart by the way his face turned red.”
  12. “The wedding cake was stacked so high, it could’ve been mistaken for the Leaning Tower of Pisa.”
  13. “The groom’s groomsmen were all dressed in kilts, let’s just say there were a lot of ‘free spirits’ at the reception.”
  14. “The bride’s something blue was her great-grandmother’s garter, talk about old and cherished traditions.”
  15. “The newlyweds’ first kiss had everyone swooning, until they realized it was just the alcohol.”
  16. “The flower girl’s cute factor was off the charts, it’s a good thing the photographer captured every moment.”
  17. “The groom’s best man was his lifelong best friend, who knew he had a secret talent for giving embarrassing speeches.”
  18. “The couple’s wedding hashtag was #TakenForever, let’s hope it doesn’t become #DivorcedNextWeek.”
  19. “The bride’s bouquet throw was fierce, it’s a good thing the single ladies came armed with helmets.”
  20. “The mother of the groom kept crying throughout the entire ceremony, turns out they were tears of joy, not sadness.”

Love is a recursive function, but it always returns ‘I do’ – Wedding puns that will make you say ‘I do’ again and again

  1. Did you hear about the bride who married a math teacher? It was a wediteration!
  2. The groom forgot his vows, so the bride had to remind him to recite them: it was a wedding recursion.
  3. I couldn’t attend the wedding, but I sent my congratulations via recurren(t)mail.
  4. What do you call a wedding between two computer programmers? A recursive union.
  5. The couple got married on the beach and had a recursive honeymoon, taking a walk down memory shore.
  6. Did you see the wedding cake? It was a layer-by-layer recursive deliciousness.
  7. Despite her parents’ objections, the bride insisted on wearing a recursive wedding dress she designed herself.
  8. The best man’s speech was so funny, it had us all in stitches – talk about a recursive joke!
  9. The flower girl kept picking up petals she had already dropped and putting them back in her basket – it was a recursive petal loop!
  10. When someone asked if the bride and groom were tying the knot, I couldn’t help but think of it as a recursive knotting.
  11. Dad jokes were banned at the wedding, but the father of the groom couldn’t resist – he made a recursive toast and everyone groaned.
  12. I overheard the maid of honor practicing her speech in front of the mirror, it was a recursive rehearsal.
  13. The band played ‘Here Comes the Bride’ on repeat – it was a recursive melody that could not be ignored.
  14. The groom’s vows were so touching, they had everyone in tears – it was a recursive wave of emotion.
  15. The officiant accidentally said “I now pronounce you hitched” – talk about a recursive slip of the tongue!
  16. The wedding planner was amazing – they even planned for a sequential recursive dance routine.
  17. The couple had so many mutual friends, it was like a recursive guest list.
  18. The groom’s brother made a toast, but it was a bit too recursive – he kept toasting the previous toast.
  19. The wedding party took a photo, but the photographer asked them to smile on the count of three and then on the count of two… it was a recursive photoshoot!
  20. After the bride threw the bouquet, the bridesmaids looked at each other in a recursive pattern trying to figure out who caught it.

Blushing Brides and Bad Puns: Wedding Tom Swifties That’ll Make You Say ‘I Do!’

  1. “I’ll wear white,” said the bride deceitfully.
  2. “I do,” said the groom happily, but his mother-in-law looked doubtful.
  3. “Our love will never die,” said the couple eternally.
  4. “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” said the priest orderly.
  5. “I hope the cake tastes good,” said the bride sweetly.
  6. “This is the happiest day of my life!” said the groom, knot-lessly.
  7. “I guess it’s time to cut the cake,” said the bride pointedly.
  8. “My dress is so tight,” said the bridesmaid uncomfortably.
  9. “You may kiss the bride,” said the minister passionately.
  10. “I can’t wait to dance with you,” said the groom eagerly.
  11. “Why did you choose purple bridesmaid dresses?” asked the best man plumfully.
  12. “I’m ready to say ‘I do’,” said the groom finally.
  13. “I’m so excited to be married,” said the bride giddily.
  14. “I’m wearing my lucky socks,” said the nervous groom fearlessly.
  15. “I do,” said the bride, blushing rosy-ly.
  16. “I can’t believe we’re actually married,” said the groom incredulously.
  17. “This is the best day ever,” said the bride blithely.
  18. “I’ll never forget this moment,” said the groom memorably.
  19. “I’m so glad I didn’t trip walking down the aisle,” said the clumsy bridesmaid cautiously.
  20. “I can’t wait for the honeymoon,” said the newlywed couple longingly.

Knock-knock, Who’s there? Let’s have a wedding laugh!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? I do. I do who? I do-n’t want to miss your wedding!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ann. Ann who? Anncing to your wedding like crazy!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hitch. Hitch who? Hitching a ride to your wedding, can’t wait to celebrate with you!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Al. Al who? All dressed up and ready for your big day!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vows. Vows who? Vows’d you pick me to be your Maid of Honor?
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Groom. Groom who? Groom service! Ready to be your best man.
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chapel. Chapel who? Chapel be stunning on your wedding day!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bells. Bells who? Bells are ringing, can’t wait for your wedding!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tie. Tie who? Tie-dying for your wedding, it’s going to be an epic celebration!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Flowers. Flowers who? Flowers’d you choose for your bouquet?
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Band. Band who? Band together, let’s make this the most amazing wedding!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bride. Bride who? Bride-ing my time until your wedding, I can’t wait!
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cake. Cake who? Cake wait for your wedding cake, it’s going to be delicious!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Champagne. Champagne who? Champagne-ing to your forever love!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tux. Tux who? Tux-edo for your wedding, looking sharp!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diamond. Diamond who? Diamond ring for your big day, congratulations!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Veil. Veil who? Veil see you at the altar!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bridesmaids. Bridesmaids who? Bridesmaids ready to celebrate with you!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Invitations. Invitations who? Invitations sent, wedding planning in full swing!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Love. Love who? Love will keep us dancing at your wedding all night long!

Marriage Mishaps: Hilarious Wedding Malapropisms to Avoid Saying ‘I Do’ to

  1. Groomantic – instead of romantic, it refers to the groom’s feelings towards his bride.
  2. Bide and Groom – a mix-up of bride and groom.
  3. Betrothel – a combination of betrothal and brothel, referring to a questionable engagement.
  4. Weddiquette – instead of etiquette, it refers to proper behavior at a wedding.
  5. Altarcation – a fight or argument at the altar.
  6. Hymenimally – instead of minimally, refers to a very small or inexpensive wedding.
  7. Vowelsome – a play on wholesome, referring to the heartfelt vows exchanged by the couple.
  8. Wedless – instead of restless, refers to being without a wedding.
  9. Unweadable – instead of unreadable, refers to a poorly written or hard-to-follow wedding program.
  10. Ringbowl – instead of ring bearer, refers to a small child carrying a bowl of rings.
  11. Bridezilla – a combination of bride and Godzilla, referring to a demanding or difficult bride.
  12. Champagne Chalice – instead of chalice, refers to the fancy flutes used for toasting at weddings.
  13. Matrimonious – a mix-up of matrimonial and harmonious, referring to a happy marriage.
  14. Pillow Cakes – instead of cake toppers, refers to the decorative pillows placed on top of the wedding cake.
  15. Maid of Honor Roll – instead of role, refers to the important task of being the maid of honor.
  16. Blushing Veil – instead of bride, refers to a shy or embarrassed veil.
  17. Bouquet Battle – instead of bouquet toss, refers to the competitive nature of catching the bouquet.
  18. Wedset – a combination of wedding and inset, referring to a special section in the newspaper dedicated to a wedding announcement.
  19. Chapel of Loans – instead of chapel of love, refers to a wedding venue where couples can take out loans to pay for the wedding.
  20. Happily Ever Laughter – instead of happily ever after, refers to a fun and humorous marriage.

Witty Wedding Woes: Spoonerisms That’ll Have You Saying ‘Vow Rings’!

  1. “Dressing Mare” instead of “Mare Dressing”
  2. “Ring Vows” instead of “Ving Rows”
  3. “Garter Sams” instead of “Sarter Gams”
  4. “Cake Mop” instead of “Make Cop”
  5. “Bridal Goom” instead of “Gidal Broom”
  6. “Honeymoon Droppers” instead of “Doney Hrooners”
  7. “Groom Suite” instead of “Sroom Guit”
  8. “Wedding Dears” instead of “Dedding Wears”
  9. “Bouquet Throw” instead of “Touquet Brow”
  10. “Ceremony Wedding” instead of “Wememony Cedding”
  11. “Family in Bulk” instead of “Bamily in Falk”
  12. “Reception Poodle” instead of “Pereception Roodle”
  13. “Bride and Gloom” instead of “Gride and Bloom”
  14. “Married Fools” instead of “Fried Mools”
  15. “Speech Babble” instead of “Beach Spabble”
  16. “Groom’s Hose” instead of “Hoom’s Grose”
  17. “Father of the Pride” instead of “Pather of the Fride”
  18. “Wedding Plumbers” instead of “Plumding Wumbers”
  19. “Matron of Honor” instead of “Hotron of Manor”
  20. “Best Mannequins” instead of “Mess Bannequins”

Tying the knot with laughs and puns!

And with that, we’ve reached the end of our pun-tastic journey through all things weddings. We hope you’ve had a laugh (or at least groaned a few times) with our 230+ puns about wedding. But before you go, make sure to check out our other posts filled with hilarious puns and jokes- because let’s face it, we all need some good humor in our lives. Happy punning and always remember, marriage may be a ring on your finger, but it’s also a never-ending source of pun-ful fun!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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