Spellbinding Humor: 230+ Witchy Jokes & Puns

funny Witch jokes with one liner clever Witch puns at PunnyFunny.com

Are you ready to cackle with laughter? Check out our list of the best witch jokes and puns about the magical ladies. These clever and hilarious jokes are perfect for kids (and kids at heart) who love a good dose of humor. From broomstick mishaps to potion mix-ups, these jokes are positively spellbinding. So grab your cauldron, sit back, and prepare to cackle your way through our list of witchy humor!

Spell-bindingly Funny: Our Top Witch Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

  1. Why couldn’t the witch have kids? She had a pumpkin patch.
  2. What do you call a witch who lives in the desert? A sand-witch.
  3. How does a witch keep her hair in perfect condition? She uses scare-spray.
  4. Why did the witch go to the doctor? She was feeling hexhausted.
  5. What do you get when you cross a witch and a snowman? Frost-bite.
  6. Why did the witch take up stand-up comedy? She wanted to put a spell on the audience.
  7. What do you call a witch’s cat who can’t cast spells? A paw-forming artist.
  8. How do you spot a vegan witch? She only brews with organic ingredients.
  9. Why did the witch’s broom go on strike? It was tired of being swept around.
  10. What do you call a witch who works in a bakery? A dough-witch.
  11. How do witches communicate with each other? Through their spell-phones.
  12. Why did the witch get a job at the cemetery? She heard they were dying for some help.
  13. What do you call a witch on the beach? A sanderson sister.
  14. How does a witch decorate her home? With haunted furnishings.
  15. Why did the witch get a job at the zoo? She heard they were looking for a new broom keeper.
  16. What do witches use to keep their skin looking young? Broom-aska.
  17. Why did the witch go on a diet? She wanted to keep her figure cauldron ready.
  18. What do you call a witch who’s cooking skills are always on point? A culinary enchantress.
  19. Why can’t witches have babies? They’re just too spook-o-rific.
  20. What does a witch’s favorite snack? Hex-mex.

“Conjure up a Laugh with these Funny Witch One-Liners!

  1. Why couldn’t the witch have children? Because her husband had a spell on him.
  2. I knew a witch who couldn’t fly her broomstick properly. She was always sweeping things under it.
  3. What do you call a funny witch? A real laugh-craftian.
  4. I asked a witch if she ever cooked with her cauldron, she said “Only when I’m under a spell.”
  5. Why did the witch refuse to use her magic to tie her shoes? She preferred spells to be knotted.
  6. What do you call a witch who lives by the beach? A sand-witch.
  7. Did you hear about the witch who went to the doctor? She had a bad case of the hex-sual flu.
  8. Why was the witch’s room always cold? Because she was always casting chills and thrills.
  9. What did the witch say when she saw the haunted house? “Oh my ghoulness!”
  10. I asked a witch if she believed in karma. She said, “Of course, I’ve been hexed so many times.”
  11. Why did the witch decide to quit her job? She wasn’t making enough cauldron.
  12. Why did the witch put her broomstick in the freezer? She wanted a chilling ride.
  13. What do you call a witch who runs a bakery? A coven-ient store.
  14. Why did the witch start a band? She wanted to cast some wicked beats.
  15. I asked the witch how she keeps her hair so shiny. She said, “A good curse-aid is key.”
  16. Why did the ghost refuse to hang out with the witch? She always had a hex-iting time.
  17. What’s a witch’s favorite dance move? The spell-a-rina.
  18. Why did the witch have trouble making friends? She always seemed to cast a bad first spell.
  19. What’s a witch’s favorite type of sandwich? Hex-burgers.
  20. I saw a witch using her phone to cast spells. I guess she was just texting her coven.

Spell-binding QnA Jokes & Puns about Witchcraft

  1. Q: What did the witch say when she won the race? A: “Hex-ellent!”
  2. Q: How does a witch communicate with her coven? A: Through spelling.
  3. Q: Why did the witch’s broom go on strike? A: It was tired of being used for sweeping generalizations.
  4. Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A: A sand-witch.
  5. Q: Why did the witch’s mailbox disappear? A: It was post-hexed.
  6. Q: How does a witch keep her hair in such perfect curls? A: She puts a spell on it.
  7. Q: How did the witch become the CEO of her company so quickly? A: She had a lot of broom for advancement.
  8. Q: What do you call a witch who is always one step ahead of everyone else? A: Witchcrafty.
  9. Q: What did the witch say when she got stuck in a tree? A: “I’m in a sticky situation.”
  10. Q: Why did the witch quit her job as a fortune teller? A: She didn’t see a future in it.
  11. Q: What do you call a witch who lives in a hotel? A: A pentacostal.
  12. Q: How does a witch make her coffee? A: By using a cauldron filter.
  13. Q: What did the witch say to her black cat when it brought her a dead mouse? A: “I wanted a live one, not a memento mori.”
  14. Q: Why was the witch always craving seafood? A: She had a wicked appetite.
  15. Q: How does a witch get rid of unwanted guests? A: She witch-chezes them away.
  16. Q: What do you call a group of friendly witches? A: A coven of FOMO-witches (Fear of Missing Out).
  17. Q: What did the witch say when her broom broke? A: “Looks like I need to sweepstakes.”
  18. Q: Why did the witch join the basketball team? A: She wanted to be a pointy-gua

Witch better have my candy: Dad Jokes about Witch

  1. Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a spell-taneous outbreak!
  2. Did you hear about the witch who won the spelling bee? She cast a spell on the competition.
  3. How do you recognize a happy witch? She’s always flying broom and jolly.
  4. Did you hear about the witch who moved to the city? She wanted to experience a high warlock-society.
  5. Why did the witch refuse to ride her broom? It was witchy to her butt!
  6. What type of music do witches listen to? They’re big fans of “Black Magic” by Little Mix.
  7. Did you know witches don’t have a good sense of direction? Every time they try to find a path, someone has removed the sign witch-way.
  8. Why don’t witches like to ride bicycles? They’re afraid of getting a broom rash.
  9. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A Sand-Witch!
  10. Why did the witch refuse to get her hair cut? She didn’t want to be bald-a-witch.
  11. How do you make a witch itch? Take away the W.
  12. Why couldn’t the witch have a baby? Her husband had a halloweenie.
  13. What do you call a witch who doesn’t move? A slow-curring witch.
  14. Did you hear about the witch who got pregnant? She had morning brews instead of morning sickness.
  15. Why don’t witches wear underwear? It scares the Hallow-weenies out of them.
  16. What do you call a witch who’s good at math? A numerical-witch.
  17. Why did the witch bring a ladder to school? She heard it was a high school!
  18. Why did the witch put her broom in the fridge? She wanted a chilled ride later.
  19. Why did the witch get a job at the bakery? She heard they needed someone who knew how to put a spell on the dough.
  20. What is a witch’s favorite drink? Iced blood-coffin-o!

Spell-binding Laughter: Funny Quotes about Witches

  1. “Behind every great witch is a great black cat with a killer personality.”
  2. “I don’t need a spell to turn you into a toad, your personality does it for you.”
  3. “Sorry, I can’t come to your party tonight, my broom needs a tune-up.”
  4. “Witches don’t have ugly sisters, we have spellbinding siblings.”
  5. “Chocolate is my wand, wine is my potion, and sarcasm is my magic.”
  6. “You don’t need a crystal ball to predict that I will be fabulous.”
  7. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
  8. “Hocus Pocus? More like Hookah Pocus, am I right ladies?”
  9. “My cooking is so magical, even the smoke alarm applauds.”
  10. “Some people just need a high five…with a broomstick.”
  11. “I put the ‘sexy’ in unsexy Halloween costumes.”
  12. “I’m not old, I’m just a vintage witch.”
  13. “Witches don’t have bad hair days, it’s called a witchy aura.”
  14. “I’m not cursing you, I’m just giving you a friendly reminder.”
  15. “If the shoe fits, buy it in every color.”
  16. “I could be a morning person, if mornings happened at noon.”
  17. “You say witch like it’s a bad thing.”
  18. “Coffee. Spells. Repeat.”
  19. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just practicing my telekinesis.”
  20. “Witch, please. I’m fabulous.”

Spellbinding Humor: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Witches

  1. A witch’s brew may stain your clothes, but it’ll also make you forget about the laundry.
  2. A wise witch knows that brooms are for flying, not sweeping.
  3. A good witch always carries extra bats in case of a coven emergency.
  4. A penny saved is a penny that can be used to buy more spell ingredients.
  5. Don’t judge a witch by her pointy hat, judge her by her magical abilities.
  6. Every witch has her own recipe for success, and it usually involves a cauldron.
  7. If the shoe fits, it’s probably because a witch enchanted it.
  8. Burn the candle at both ends and you may just summon a fire demon.
  9. You can’t spell witch without itch, but you can definitely spell it with a ‘b’ for badass.
  10. A witch’s broom may look old and worn, but it’s been to more places than you ever will.
  11. The only thing scarier than a witch is a witch with a sense of humor.
  12. They say love potions don’t exist, but have you seen how many cats some witches have?
  13. A wise witch knows that the best spells are ones that rhyme.
  14. The early witch gets the worm…and turns it into a toad.
  15. An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but an enchanted apple can do so much more.
  16. Just because a witch has a black cat doesn’t mean she’s a bad luck charm.
  17. The best things in life are free, but magic ingredients can get pretty expensive.
  18. Don’t knock a witch’s cauldron until you’ve tried her stew.
  19. A witch’s house may have cobwebs and bats, but at least there’s never a shortage of candles.
  20. They say curiosity killed the cat, but if that cat was a witch’s familiar, it’s probably because she was learning a new spell.

Wickedly Funny Witch-Double the Puns, Double the Laughter!

  1. “I had to cast a spell on my husband to keep him from turning into a pumpkin after midnight.”
  2. “My coven always brews up some wicked good potions.”
  3. “I haven’t been on a broomstick ride that wild since college.”
  4. “I put a hex on my ex, now he can’t get it up.”
  5. “I may be a witch, but I still use a cauldron for all my cooking.”
  6. “Why use a wand when you can just snap your fingers and make things happen?”
  7. “I may be bad at math, but I can still conjure up some wicked equations.”
  8. “I didn’t choose the witch life, the witch life chose me.”
  9. “I’ll put a spell on you, and now you’re mine.”
  10. “Witches don’t have bad hair days, we have cursed hair days.”
  11. “Halloween is just an average day for me, but it’s nice to see everyone else dress up.”
  12. “I tried to use my cauldron as a hot tub, but it just turned into a giant bubble bath.”
  13. “Why did the witch go to the doctor? Because she had a wicked case of broomstick rash.”
  14. “I don’t need a crystal ball to see that you and I are going to have a magical night.”
  15. “I’m not a bad witch, I’m just drawn that way.”
  16. “I put a spell on my credit card, and now it’s maxed out.”
  17. “I asked my familiar for fashion advice, and now I’m wearing a black cat as a scarf.”
  18. “No one ever believes me when I say I’m not a morning person because I’m a night owl.”
  19. “Hocus pocus, let’s focus on something more important like pizza.”
  20. “I make all my potions with love, but a little bit of eye of newt never hurt anybody.”

A spell-binding collection of recursive puns about witches!

  1. Why did the vampire witch refuse to participate in the coven’s potluck? Because she didn’t want to get sauced.
  2. What do you call a witch who lives in a pumpkin-shaped house? A squash-buckler.
  3. Why was the witch’s broom always in need of repairs? Because it was always sweeping her off her feet.
  4. Did you hear about the witch who couldn’t decide on a cauldron? She was stewing over it.
  5. How did the witch know she needed to go on a diet? Her weight-loss spell told her she had too many covenants.
  6. What do you call a witch’s cat who can’t stop sneezing? A werespurr-gin.
  7. Why did the witch have trouble saying “Abracadabra”? She was stuck on the first syllable-magic.
  8. How do you know if a witch is a morning person? She’s always up at the crack of broomstick.
  9. What do you call a group of witches who specialize in brews and potions? The spell-checkers.
  10. Why did the witch open a pizza shop? She wanted to put the ‘creep’ in ‘pepperoni.’
  11. Did you hear about the witch who couldn’t remember any spells? She had a wicked case of amnesia-c.
  12. How did the witch feel when she finally found her missing cauldron? Relieved-it just needed a pot to feel like home again.
  13. Why did the witch avoid crossing the street? She didn’t want to risk running into her broom-mate.
  14. What did the witch say when she dropped her magic wand in the mud? “Ala-kazoo!”
  15. How did the witch get her start in the potions business? She brewed up a storm.
  16. What do you call a witch who specializes in love spells? A romance-enchantress.
  17. Why was the witch’s yard always covered in leaves and branches? She never sweeps, she just casts a “leaf” spell.
  18. Did you hear about the witch who couldn’t make any money? She was cursed with bad cash flow.
  19. Why was the witch always so moody? She was going through a spell of emotional instability.
  20. What did the witch say when she finally caught the thief who stole her broom? “I’ve been on your trail all witch-way!”

Glamorous Witch Tom Swifties Brew Up Humorous Delights!

  1. “I’m such a good witch,” she cackled wickedly.
  2. “This spell is going to be a piece of cauldron,” she chanted easily.
  3. “Being a witch never gets old,” she sighed like a broom.
  4. “I’m just feeling a little witchy today,” she grumbled slightly.
  5. “I always carry my wand with me, just in case,” she joked cavalierly.
  6. “I’ll put a hex on you!,” she threatened hexactly.
  7. “Cleaning up after a spell is like playing a game of witch and mouse,” she laughed squeakily.
  8. “I’ve got a trick up my sleeve,” she said trickily.
  9. “Sorry, I can’t help you with that, it’s beyond my spell-craft,” she apologized magically.
  10. “I’m the mistress of all spells,” she declared mist-eriously.
  11. “I don’t always cast spells, but when I do, I make sure it’s enchanting,” she quipped charismatically.
  12. “A good witch always recycles her potions,” she chanted greenly.
  13. “I’ve got a spell for everything, except for finding my keys,” she grumbled magically.
  14. “I may be a witch, but I still have to deal with brooms and dustpans,” she groaned domesticaly.
  15. “I learned how to fly on a broomstick before I could ride a bike,” she reminisced nostalgically.
  16. “I brew the best potions in town, no flasks about it,” she boasted craftily.
  17. “I could turn someone into a frog with just one flick of my wand,” she bragged slimyly.
  18. “It’s hard being a witch in the modern world, not everyone appreciates a good cauldron,” she sighed magicklessly.
  19. “Some people say I have a witchy laugh, I say I have a knack for making people uncomfortable,” she giggled wickedly.
  20. “Brewing potions is like chemistry, but with a dash of magic and a pinch of spider legs,” she mused scientifically.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A spellbinding punchline to these witch-themed knock-knock jokes!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch way to the broomstick?
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Which witch is the most popular at school?
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us can turn invisible?
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has a cauldron full of candy?
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has a spell to make the dishes do themselves?
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us can make the perfect potion every time?
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has a flying broomstick?
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has a cat that can talk?
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us is the best at casting spells?
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us can turn someone into a toad?
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has the power to grant wishes?
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has a crystal ball for predicting the future?
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us likes to stir up trouble?
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us can make a broomstick fly without using magic?
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us can make someone laugh with just one word?
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us can make potions that taste like candy?
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us is really good at playing pranks?
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has a secret spellbook?
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us has a magical garden full of rare plants?
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of us can make someone fall asleep with a simple rhyme?

Spellbound by Witchy Malapropisms: Hilarity Ensues!

  1. “I went to the haunted house and the witch there was really hex-eager to see me.”
  2. “I tried to cast a spell, but I ended up turning myself into a frog instead of a prince charming.”
  3. “I asked the witch what her favorite color was and she said it was hocus-pocus purple.”
  4. “I couldn’t find my cauldron, so I had to brew my potion in a soup pot instead.”
  5. “The witch accidentally turned her broom into a perch-a-tron, and now it won’t stop singing show tunes.”
  6. “I have to be careful not to mix up my witch’s brew with my witches’ brew – one is for spells, the other is for happy hour.”
  7. “I thought the witch’s familiar was a black cat, but it turned out to be a black coffee addict.”
  8. “My wand had a malfunction and instead of shooting fire, it shot out glitter. The witch said it was wicked fabulous.”
  9. “I saw a group of witches and they were all wearing pointed hats and carrying brooms – it was a broken-off convention!”
  10. “I tried to scare the witch away with garlic, but turns out she’s not afraid of vampires – she’s a vegetarian.”
  11. “I wanted to join the witch’s coven, but they were only looking for seasoned witches – I couldn’t get past their thyme requirement.”
  12. “The witch’s potion was supposed to make me invisible, but instead it turned me into a lamp post.”
  13. “I asked the witch if she knew how to make pumpkin spice latte, and she said she only knows how to conjure up pumpkin spice slugs.”
  14. “The witch tried to poof herself into a bat, but she ended up as a fruit bat instead of a vampire bat.”
  15. “I found a recipe for a love potion, but it turned out to be a recipe for a self-love potion – I ended up with a big ego.
  16. “I asked the witch for some eye of newt, but she gave me eye of newf instead – now I have a friendly dragon following me around.”
  17. “I tried to curse my ex-boyfriend, but my spell backfired and now he can only communicate in song lyrics.”
  18. “I asked the witch for a charm to ward off evil spirits, and she gave me a keychain with a ghost emoji instead.”
  19. “I thought the witch’s house was made of gingerbread, but turns out it was just moldy bread – it still tasted surprisingly good.”
  20. “I asked the witch what her favorite holiday was and she said it was Halloween – every year is like a holi-Spook-tacular for her.”

Wickedly Funny Spoonerisms about Witches!

  1. Twitch Broom
  2. Litch Witch
  3. Stitched Spell
  4. Pitch Witch
  5. Rich Witch
  6. Itchy Wand
  7. Switch Potion
  8. Snitch Cauldron
  9. Glitch Hex
  10. Switchy Spellbook
  11. Sitch Witch
  12. Fitchy Hat
  13. Stitchy Broomstick
  14. Witchy Bitch
  15. Kitchy Warts
  16. Ditchy Charm
  17. Mismatched Cauldron
  18. Swoon Switch
  19. Skitchy Familiar
  20. Hitch Witch

Flying off with a cackle and pun!

Well folks, that’s a wrap on our collection of 230+ puns about witches. Who knew there were so many ways to joke about these magical beings? But before you go, make sure to check out our other posts filled with even more puns and jokes. Who knows, you might just find a new favorite to use at your next cauldron party. Until next time, keep laughing and bewitching!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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