110+ Writing Jokes & Puns: You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Hold onto your pencils, folks, because you’re about to witness the best list of puns and jokes about writing this side of the digital page! We’ve got enough humor here to fill a library, and each joke is funnier than the last (well, at least we think so!). 😜 Did you know that the shortest sentence in English is “I am.”? That’s pretty clever, just like the puns you’re about to read. So, buckle up for a hilarious ride through the world of writing humor. Get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even jot down a few of your own!

Top Writing Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: You’ve Gotta Be Ink-redible to Understand These

1. Just got a writing job at a bank. Turns out it’s for the levee.
2. “Write what you know,” they said. Now my autobiography’s a mess.
3. My biggest grammar pet peeve? Commas acting like they’re always write.
4. I’m writing a horror novel about papercuts. It’s really taking a toll on me.
5. I tried writing with a broken pencil once. No point.
6. Never argue with an Oxford comma; they always have the last clause.
7. I used to be a baker, but I quit. I couldn’t get my prose to rise.
8. My friend says he’s a writer, but he never writes anything. He says his work is very interpretive.
9. I tried to hire a professional writer for my love letter. Turns out, they only work on spec.
10. Why don’t robots like writing? They find it too automatonous.
11. My calligraphy practice is really improving. I can finally write all the letters in the alphabet.
12. The first draft is just organized chaos pretending to be literature.
13. I’m not saying I’m a bad writer, but sometimes the delete key is my muse.
14. Found a typo in my manuscript today. To be fair, I only had one job.
15. Why is it so hard for fountain pen fans to lie? The truth always seems to bleed out.

Funny Writing One-Liner Jokes: Puns and Quips for Word Nerds

1. I tried to write with a broken pencil earlier, but it was pointless.
2. My autobiography is going to be titled “Write or Wrong,” but I can’t decide how to spell it.
3. My friend said he wanted to write a book about his biggest regrets; turns out, he couldn’t think of anything.
4. I started writing a song about a tortilla the other day. Needless to say, it’s more of a wrap.
5. I’m writing a horror novel about paper cuts. It’s a real page-turner!
6. Someone stole all the vowels out of my short story manuscript. That’s just criminal.
7. I accidentally included my grocery list in my novel manuscript. I guess you could say my characters are now well-stocked.
8. I saw a sign that said “Watch for writers,” but I didn’t see any… I guess they camouflaged.
9. Just finished writing a book about birds. I hear it’s flying off the shelves!
10. I tried writing a book about Stockholm Syndrome, but I couldn’t put it down.
11. My friend asked me to help him edit his autobiography. I told him it was my write.
12. Why don’t cannibals like reading? They prefer first drafts.
13. Always proofread your work. You don’t want to be embarrassed by a typo-graphical error.
14. Never argue with a writer. They always have the last word.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Writing: Writer’s Block Not Included

1. Q: Why did the writer always carry a ladder? A: To reach for higher meanings!
2. Q: What’s a writer’s favorite mode of transportation? A: A plot twist!
3. Q: Why did the writer quit their job at the bank? A: They’d lost interest.
4. Q: What do you call a group of writers who always argue about grammar? A: The comma-ndos!
5. Q: How can you tell if a writer is lying? A: Their pen moves!
6. Q: Did you hear about the writer who was afraid of the dark? A: They kept getting writer’s block!
7. Q: Why did the short story frown at the novel? A: It felt chapter-out!
8. Q: Why are writers always cold? A: They’re surrounded by drafts!
9. Q: Why don’t writers trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything!
10. Q: Why did the pencil get a promotion? A: It always had a point!
11. Q: What did the writer say to the blank page? A: “It’s write or never!”
12. Why did the paper fall in love with the typewriter? A: It said all the write things!
13. Q: Why did the writer stare at the orange juice carton? A: It said “concentrate”!
14. Q: What do you get if you cross a writer with a gardener? A: Lots of plot bunnies!
15. Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A: With a pumpkin patch writer!
16. Q: Did you hear about the writer who specialized in cliffhangers? A: Their work was always on the edge!

Dad Jokes about Writing: Guaranteed to Make You Ink-redibly Groan

1. I wanted to become a writer, but everyone said I was too graph-ic.
2. Why don’t vampires like writing? They prefer to use blood vessels.
3. My son asked me what the opposite of handwriting is. I said, “Left-hand typing?”
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Especially stories.
5. What’s a writer’s favorite dessert? Shortbread cookies, of course.
6. Just saw a sign at a shop that said “Writers’ Block Removal Sale!” Turned out it was just a stationery store going out of business.
7. Why do writers always carry pencils? In case they need to draw their own conclusions!
8. You know, I used to be a handwriting expert… But I had to quit. It was too taxing.
9. I recently saw a sign at a store: “Paper on Sale Today!” I thought, “That’s stationery!” Get it? Stationery? I’ll see myself out…
10. A writer walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, “Hey, no animals allowed!” The dog replies, “He’s not an animal, he’s my protagonist!”
11. My wife asked if I was still writing that novel by hand. I said, “Nope, switched to typing. Much less carpal tunnel.”
12. How can you tell if a writer is lying? You can see right through their stories!
13. I tried to think of a good pun about procrastination and writing but… I’ll tell you later.
14. Why do writers hate nature documentaries? Too much exposition!
15. Did you hear about the novelist who was struggling with writer’s block? He went to a doctor, and you won’t believe this… The doctor told him to take a paragraph!
16. I used to write with a broken pencil… But then I realized it was pointless!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Writing: For Word Nerds

1. “I’m not saying I enjoy the writing process, but I do love complaining about it.”
2. “Writer’s block: When your imaginary friends stage a silent protest.”
3. “My bank account thinks I should take up knitting instead of writing. My soul disagrees.”
4. “Just spent three hours writing a perfect sentence. Now to delete it and pretend it never happened.”
5. “Writing is easy! Said no writer ever… while staring at a blinking cursor.”
6. “My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. Now my novel is 500 pages of typos.”
7. “Sleep? What’s sleep? Asking for a friend… who’s a writer.”
8. “Some days the words flow like fine wine. Other days, it’s like trying to squeeze ketchup out of a brand new bottle.”
9. “My love-hate relationship with writing is getting serious. I think we need couples therapy.”
10. “Procrastination: The art of staring intensely at a blank page until it bursts into flames.”
11. “The only time I’m not thinking about writing is when I’m actually writing.”
12. “I’m not a hoarder, I’m a writer. All those notebooks? Research.”
13. “My characters told me to tell you they’re not based on real people. They’re much more interesting.”
14. “Sure, I’ll help you move. But only if you promise to read my manuscript while I’m gone.”
15. “I don’t need therapy, I just need to finish this manuscript. Then I’ll really need therapy.”
16. “Writing: where the voices in your head finally get to have their say. And they won’t shut up.”
17. “Coffee in hand, words on screen. Let’s do this thing called writing… or maybe just scroll through social media for another hour.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Writing: With a Punctuation Mark, You Can Change the World

1. A writer without a deadline is like a fish without a bicycle: oddly prepared, yet going nowhere.
2. You can lead a writer to water, but you can’t make them outline.
3. The pen is mightier than the sword, especially when you’re out of coffee filters.
4. Never judge a writer by their cover letter. Unless it’s terrible. Then judge away.
5. A blank page is just a canvas waiting for a masterpiece. Or a frantic grocery list. Either way, it’s art.
6. Writer’s block is temporary. Bad writing is forever. Choose wisely.
7. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re probably a writer on their third draft.
8. The road to publication is paved with rejection letters. At least they make good kindling.
9. Don’t bite the hand that edits. Unless they tell you to “kill your darlings.” Then all bets are off.
10. Early to bed and early to rise makes a writer groggy and in desperate need of caffeine.
11. Silence is golden, unless you’re a writer on a deadline. Then it’s terrifying.
12. You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, just like you can’t finish a manuscript without sacrificing some sleep.
13. Good things come to those who write, but great things come to those who know how to self-promote.
14. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless you’re a writer. Then it’s a distraction and potential plot bunny.
15. Writing is easy. Just put your head down and open a vein. (Please don’t actually do that. Use a pen.)

Writing Double Entendres Puns: A Hilarious Play on Words

1. I told the novelist to take a break from writing, but he said he couldn’t put his characters down. (Characters as in people in the story vs. letters)
2. The author was arrested for writing bad checks. Apparently, his plots weren’t the only things that were far-fetched. (Writing a check vs. being an author)
3. The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if you know where to ink it. (Ink a signature/agreement vs. ink in a pen)
4. My handwriting is so bad, even I can’t decode what I’m writing. It’s like my own secret code, but without the cool spy mission. (Writing letters vs. deciphering handwriting)
5. He was known for writing lengthy novels. His friends called him the paragraph pirate. (Writing long stories vs. commandeering paragraphs)
6. The author was struggling to write a romantic scene. He just couldn’t find the right words, or the right font. (Words in a story vs. font style)
7. I tried writing a song about procrastination, but I’ll get around to finishing it tomorrow. (Writing a song vs. procrastination humor)
8. The detective knew the suspect was lying because his story was full of plot holes and missing punctuation. (Plot holes in a story vs. errors in writing)
9. She found writing to be therapeutic. Each word was a weight lifted off her shoulders, and onto the page. (Emotional release vs. physically typing words)
10. My computer crashed while I was writing. It’s currently undergoing story surgery. (Getting data recovered vs. working on a story)
11. The ghost writer was struggling with writer’s block. Turns out, haunting inspiration is harder than it looks. (A ghost lacking inspiration vs. a writer lacking inspiration)
12. The playwright said he based his characters on real people. I just hope he used invisible ink for my portrait. (Characters based on reality vs. using invisible ink)
13. The calligraphy class was so intense, they had to sign a waiver in case of writer’s cramp. (Cramping from calligraphy vs. a writing term)
14. He was so dedicated to writing a historical novel, he lived in a bygone era… literally, his apartment had no Wi-Fi. (Setting a story in the past vs. lacking modern amenities)
15. You know what they say, the pen is mightier than the sword, especially if you dip it in glitter glue. That stuff is impossible to get off. (Pen being mightier vs. the mess of glitter glue)

Funny Writing Tom Swifties: Punny Penmanship Quips

1. “My pen ran out of ink,” Tom said dryly.
2. “I think I’ll write a mystery novel,” Tom said cryptically.
3. “This story needs more conflict,” Tom said crossly.
4. “I’m tired of writer’s block,” Tom said blankly.
5. “My characters keep arguing,” Tom said dialogically.
6. “This plot seems familiar,” Tom said derivatively.
7. “My handwriting needs work,” Tom scribbled illegibly.
8. “I just finished my epic poem,” Tom said longingly.
9. “This sentence is too verbose,” Tom said superfluously.
10. “Grammar is important,” Tom said comma-ndingly.
11. “I love using metaphors,” Tom said figuratively speaking.
12. “My historical fiction is selling well,” Tom said back datedly.
13. “I prefer writing in rhyme,” Tom said poetically.
14. “This typewriter is ancient,” Tom said strikingly.
15. “My new book is about a talking dog,” Tom said literally.
16. “I’m going to write under a false name,” Tom said pseudonymously.
17. “My latest story is full of suspense,” Tom said cliffhangingly.

Knock-knock Jokes about Writing: Writer’s Block Busters

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Write. Write who? Write now or forever hold your peace!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Righting. Righting who? Righting a wrong, one word at a time!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wrote. Wrote who? Wrote you a letter, but I lost your address!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Writing. Writing who? Writing a novel, it’s going to be epic!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Type. Type who? Typewriter, the original writing tool!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is mightier than the sword, but only if you know how to use it!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Paper. Paper who? Paper cut myself writing, gotta hand-le it carefully now!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Story. Story who? Story time! Get comfortable, this is a long one.