Get Your Batter-y Ready: 200+ Hilarious Baseball Jokes & Puns!

Attention all baseball fans, get ready to laugh your socks off! We’ve compiled a list of the best puns about America’s favorite pastime that will have you cracking up. From clever wordplay to hilarious one-liners, this is the ultimate collection of baseball jokes. So get your sense of humor ready and prepare for a home run of humor. Let’s hit it out of the park with this list of positive and punny jokes about baseball. Get ready to laugh until you foul out!

funny Baseball jokes with one liner clever Baseball puns at PunnyFunny.com

Swing for Laughs with These ‘Baseball’ Puns & Jokes – Our Top Picks!

Why did the baseball coach go to the bank? To get his catcher’s mitt!
What did the baseball glove say to the ball? “Catch ya later!”
How does a physicist catch a fly ball? By waiting for it to come down to the quantum level.
Why was the baseball player angry? Because he was thrown a curveball.
How does a baseball player keep his pants up? With his belt loops!
What position do ghosts play in baseball? Ghoul field.
Why do baseball players make good ninjas? Because they don’t like to get caught stealing.
What’s the best way to talk to a baseball? By using a throwing voice.
How is a baseball team like a circus? They both have a lot of pitches!
What do you call a baseball player with a bat in his pants? An unknown hitter.
Why did the baseball player go on strike? He wanted a better pitch count.
How does a slugger answer the phone? With a homerun dial.
Why did the baseball coach go to therapy? He had trouble letting his pitchers go.
What’s the difference between a bat and a baseball player? One is made of wood and the other is made of good.
How does a baseball player cool down after a game? With some relief pitchers.
Why did the baseball player go to the doctor? He had bat-at-tude.
Why was the baseball pitcher so scared of the batter? Because he could strike at any moment.
What’s the best way to win a baseball game? By having a good pitch count and throwing some curveballs.
What did the baseball player do when he locked himself out of his house? He had to use his key hitter.
How does a baseball player stay focused during a game? By keeping his eye on the ball and his mind on the grind.

Score a Home Run with These Hilarious Baseball One-Liner Jokes!

) Why did the baseball player go on a diet? Because he wanted to hit for the cycle.
) What do you call a baseball player who always misses the ball? A strikeout artist.
) How does a baseball player keep his pants up? He uses a belt and suspenders – just to be safe.
) Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
) Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
) What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch you later!
) What do you call a baseball player who skips church? A Sunday outfielder.
) Why did the baseball team hire a chef? Because they needed a good batter!
) How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
) What did the baseball glove say to the ball? You’re such a catch!
) Why was the pitcher depressed? Because he couldn’t find the plate.
) Why did the apple go out with the banana? Because it couldn’t get a date.
) What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
) Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
) How do baseball players stay cool during the game? They sit next to their fans.
) What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts to go? He becomes an umpire.
) Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
) What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
) What did the big flower say to the small flower? You’re really growing on me.
) How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed.

Swing for the Fences with These Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about Baseball

Why couldn’t the baseball player pay for his pizza? Because he didn’t have any dough!
What did the baseball coach say when his team kept striking out? “Looks like we really dropped the ball on this one.”
How did the baseball player become a successful farmer? He learned how to catch the fly balls.
Why did the baseball player join the circus? He heard they needed a good pitcher.
How do you know when a baseball player is getting old? When he starts losing his fastball and it becomes a slowball.
Why did the baseball player go to jail? He stole second base!
What do you call a baseball game between two birds? A fowl ball.
Why was the baseball player’s jersey always dirty? He was always getting caught stealing.
How does a baseball player stay cool during a game? He stands close to the fans.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the baseball coach buy his team an ice cream machine? Because he wanted them to have a good scoop defense.
What is a baseball player’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good pitch.
Why did the outfielder bring his glove to the bakery? He heard there would be lots of turnovers.
How do baseball players stay comfortable on hot summer days? They take a pitcher of ice water with them.
What did the baseball fan say when it started raining during the game? “Looks like a foul weather game.”
Why was the baseball player sad after the game? Because he struck out with the bases loaded.
How do you know when a baseball field is angry? The grass is always getting a little pitchy.
What did one baseball say to the other baseball? “You’re a real catch.”
Why was the baseball player so good at math? He knew how to count all his bases.
What do you call a snake that loves baseball? A diamondback!

SLAM-DUNKING WISDOM: Hilarious Proverbs & Clever Quips about Baseball!

“A bad day at the ballpark is still better than a good day at work.”
“Baseball: the only place where a tie is like kissing your sister.”
“I never question a call from the umpire, he’s always right. Until I strike out, then he’s clearly blind.”
“Baseball is like a poker game, nobody wants to quit when he’s losing; nobody wants you to quit when you’re ahead.”
“In baseball, all roads lead to home plate.”
“The best thing about being a baseball player is that you can play every day.”
“In baseball, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. But winning does feel pretty darn good.”
“A pitcher’s best friend is a good defense…and a couple of runs.”
“Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.” – Yogi Berra
“Baseball is the only sport where you can scratch yourself, spit, and adjust your groin in public and nobody judges you.”
“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.”
“Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.”
“Baseball: the perfect blend of physical skill, mental strategy, and pure luck.”
“You know you’re addicted to baseball when you miss the game more than your girlfriend.”
“Baseball is the only sport that can make you feel like a winner even when you lose.”
“Baseball is like church. Many attend, but few understand.”
“Baseball: the only time it’s acceptable for a grown man to wear tight pants.”
“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up. Unless of course, they’re playing against the Yankees.”
“Baseball is a lot like life. It’s a day by day existence, full of ups and downs. You make the most of your opportunities in baseball as you do in life.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Unless you’re playing the Red Sox, then just give up.”

Homerun Humor: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Baseball

Why did the baseball coach go on a diet? Because he wanted to cut out the extra innings!
Why was the baseball player a terrible comedian? Because he could never find the right pitch!
What do you call a baseball player who is also a magician? A pitch-er perfect magician!
How does a baseball team make pancakes? With a batter!
Why did the baseball player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard there were a lot of fly balls!
What do you call the loudest baseball player? The catcher in the quiet!
Why did the batter go to jail? Because he was caught stealing second base!
What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch you later!
Why do baseball players make great pie bakers? Because they’re masters at plate-ing!
How do you know if a baseball player is a true animal lover? They’re always stealing bases!
Why was the baseball player always eating candy bars during the game? He had a major sweet spot!
How do you make a baseball game more exciting? Pickle it up!
What do you call a rowdy group of baseball players? A home run-ing herd!
Why did the baseball team go to the bank? To get their pitcher of money!
What type of dog loves to play baseball? A pitcher-ese!
Why did the baseball coach hire a chef? To help with his catcher’s mitts!
What do you call a big hit in a baseball game? An instant replay-cement!
How did the baseball player find out he was traded to another team? He saw it on the trading card!
What’s the difference between a baseball and a pancake? You can’t hit a pancake out of the park!
Why was the baseball player afraid to hit a home run? He didn’t want to get into a four-bagger!

Swinging for Laughs: Baseball’s Double Entendres Puns

“I love playing catcher. It’s always such a ball.”
“She hits like a pro, but throws like a girl.”
“I guess you could say he really struck out with that swing.”
“I always score when I get to second base.”
“Her curveball had me swinging in all the wrong places.”
“Why did the baseball player go to jail? He was caught stealing.”
“No one can handle my pitching skills. They always end up in stitches.”
“I may not have the best moves on the field, but I’m always up for a good third base slide.”
“The umpire may call me out, but I’m still a hit with the ladies.”
“I have a great arm, but I’m not one to brag about it. I’ll let my pitch do the talking.”
“Who needs a glove when I can catch all your attention?”
“I may strike out on the field, but I never strike out with the ladies.”
“Why did the baseball coach go to therapy? He had some issues with his pitching.”
“Nothing beats watching a good game with a cold pitcher.”
“I don’t always hit home runs, but when I do, it’s with a bat.”
“She’s a real home run hitter. I hope she doesn’t think that means she can kiss all the bases on her way around.”
“I may not have a diamond ring, but I can sure hit balls in diamonds and pearls.”
“They say slow and steady wins the race, but in baseball, it’s all about quick and steady hands.”
“I hate when my date asks to come over and watch a baseball game. I never know if they want to score or just watch the game.”
“I’m not saying I’m the MVP, but I do have a trophy wife.”

Swing for the Fences with these Recursive Puns about Baseball!

What did the baseball say when it got hit with a bat? “I’ve been hit out of the park-cade!”
What do you call a group of baseball players trying to come up with puns? A pun-itch committee.
Did you know the baseball team is always sad on Valentine’s Day? They can’t find anyone to catch their pitches.
Why did the baseball player go to jail? He was caught stealing bases.
Why did the baseball run away from home? It didn’t want to be called a home-run.
What do you call a baseball player with no legs? A baseball-from-the-knees-er.
How did the pitcher win the game? He had a lot of striking puns on his team.
What did the baseball name its son? Homer, of course.
Why did the batter bring a ladder to the game? He heard he was up against a high fly-er pitcher.
What do you call a baseball that’s scared to pitch? A straight-ball-phobic.
Why did the team’s mascot get kicked out of the game? It was causing too many foul puns.
Why did the baseball coach bring a wheelbarrow to practice? To work on their pitch and catch.
How do you know if a baseball is happy? It’s bouncing with joy.
What did the baseball say when it found out it was allergic to peanuts? “I guess I can’t go to the baseball-ollergy game.”
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it, or tell it you’re throwing a baseball at it.
Why was the baseball player always tired? His team was always pitching ideas at him.
What do you call a group of baseball pitchers discussing their favorite jokes? A pitch-off.
Why did the baseball throw a temper tantrum? It just wanted to be the center of attention.
How did the baseball hurt its arm? It kept having to pitch in with all the jokes.
What did the batter say to the pitcher during the game? “You’re really throwing me a curve-pun with that one!”

Swinging for Laughs: Hilarious Baseball Malapropisms That Will Have You in Stitches!

“I can’t pitch, I have a sore hamster.”
“I hit that ball right out of the stork!”
“He’s a real home rum hitter.”
“He struck out on that onion.”
“I caught the popcorn instead of the baseball.”
“The umpire called a fowl ball.”
“He’s got a great curve squirrel.”
“I think he needs glasses, he keeps swinging at the boomerang.”
“His batting average is through the rough.”
“I can’t throw a strike to save my life, I’m a real bowl in a china shop.”
“He made a beeline for home plate.”
“That was a real grand slam steak.”
“He’s a real catcher in the fly guy.”
“My arm feels like a wet noodle after throwing that fast rabbit.”
“He’s got a real cannon for an armadillo.”
“I’m like a fish out of batter up there.”
“That was a real burner ball.”
“He’s got a killer curve swallow.”
“I struck out so many times, I think I’m in the triple digits.”
“He’s got a real mean basketball, I mean baseball, pitch.”

Swinging for Laughs: Hilarious Spoonerisms About Baseball

“Catchy Bosstail” instead of “Botchy Castle”
“Pitcher’s Litch” instead of “Litter’s Pitch”
“Bullpen Plutter” instead of “Pullben Blutter”
“Outs and Strikeys” instead of “Shouts and Cries”
“Home Run Dase” instead of “Dome Hun Race”
“Slugger’s Grandslam” instead of “Gugger’s Slanslam”
“Glove Thather” instead of “Thove Glatter”
“Foul Ball Cow” instead of “Bowl Fall Cow”
“Baseball Boodle” instead of “Bakeball Boodel”
“Field of Base” instead of “Bield of Face”
“Runny Bees” instead of “Bunny Rees”
“Umpire Fire” instead of “Fumpire Hire”
“Diamond Mind” instead of “Miamond Dind”
“Hot Dog Bun” instead of “Dot Hog Bun”
“Triple Play Cake” instead of “Pripple Tray Cake”
“Sliding Thider” instead of “Thiding Slider”
“Bench Benchie” instead of “Bench Bunchie”
“Double Header Swing” instead of “Hubble Deader Swing”
“Infield Kindle” instead of “Kindfield Inle”
“Sloppy Catcher” instead of “Cappy Satcher”

Swinging for SEO Success with Baseball Tom Swifties

“I can’t believe our team lost again,” Tom said pithily.
“I just hit a home run!” exclaimed Tom, cheerfully.
“I can’t pitch anymore, I’m all out of strikes,” Tom sighed.
“I can’t wait for the game to start,” said Tom impatiently.
“I got a new glove for my birthday,” Tom said grippingly.
“I don’t know how you keep striking out,” Tom joked to his friend.
“Did you see that catch?” Tom asked incredulously.
“I can’t believe I got benched,” Tom said, disheartened.
“I’ve been practicing my curveball,” said Tom, bendingly.
“I think I pulled a muscle,” Tom groaned, painfully.
“I heard the pitcher has a killer fastball,” Tom warned.
“Why do all our games have to be in the sun?” Tom whined, glaring.
“Looks like we’re going into overtime,” Tom said, extra innings-ly.
“I heard the other team has some heavy hitters,” Tom remarked, weightily.
“I can’t believe I dropped the ball,” Tom fumbled, clumsily.
“I hope we don’t get rained out,” Tom said, precipitation-ally.
“I heard they have a surprise pinch hitter,” Tom said, unsuspectingly.
“I’m feeling a bit fatigued,” Tom said, tiredly.
“I bet I can hit a home run with my eyes closed,” Tom said, blindly confident.
“I can’t believe I struck out AGAIN,” Tom bemoaned, forlornly.

Swing for Laughs: Knock, Knock Jokes about Baseball

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Home. Home who? Home run!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pitch. Pitch who? Pitcher perfect game!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Slugger. Slugger who? Slugger them out of the park!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bat. Bat who? Batter up!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mound. Mound who? Mound of trouble for the opposing team!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Out. Out who? Outfield and infield, ready for action!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Curveball. Curveball who? Curve their enthusiasm with a strikeout!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Foul. Foul who? Foul play? Not in this game!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Steal. Steal who? Steal second base!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diamond. Diamond who? Diamond in the rough – a promising young player.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Inning. Inning who? Inning the books with another win!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Catcher. Catcher who? Catch you later at the game!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fastball. Fastball who? Fastball your way into the Hall of Fame!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Strike. Strike who? Strike me as a great fan of the game!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bounce. Bounce who? Bounce back from a tough loss!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Triple. Triple who? Triple threat – speed, power, and agility.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grand. Grand who? Grand slam – the ultimate homerun!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shortstop. Shortstop who? Shortstop at nothing to catch that ball!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Score. Score who? Score one for the home team!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Series. Series who? The World Series – the pinnacle of baseball success!

Safe at Home Plate, But Puns Still Scored!

Well folks, it’s been a grand slam of a time with all these puns and jokes about baseball. I hope we’ve hit your funny bone and made you bat-grin from ear to ear. And don’t forget, if you’re still craving more punny goodness, be sure to check out our other related pun and joke posts. Trust me, they’re a hit! Keep on spreading the laughs and remember, when life throws you a curveball, just pun your way out of it. Now go out there and knock ’em dead with your wit and humor!