Set Sail with Laughter: 200+ Cruise Jokes & Puns!

Ahoy mateys! Are you ready to set sail on the funniest cruise of all time? Well, get ready to laugh your sea legs off because we’ve got the best list of puns and jokes about cruises that will have kids rolling on the ground with laughter. These clever and positive puns are guaranteed to brighten up your day and make your cruise experience one for the books. Get ready for a cruise full of humor and hilarity – let the pun begin!

funny Cruise jokes with one liner clever Cruise puns at PunnyFunny.com

Cruisin’ for a Laugh: Our Top Picks for ‘Cruise’ Puns & Jokes

Why do cruise ships make good detectives? Because they always have a lot of evidence onboard!
Did you hear about the ship that ran aground? It was a real disaster, but thankfully everyone was able to swim through it.
I accidentally booked a cruise to Antarctica. I guess you could say it was a meltdown.
Why are cruises the best way to travel? Because you can really take a load off and sea the world!
My family went on a Caribbean cruise and had a great time, but the ship’s propeller kept going overboard. It was quite fly-underwater entertainment.
I thought about becoming a cruise ship magician, but I didn’t have the deck-skill.
What do you call a group of cruisers who are lost at sea? A ferry-tale ending.
How do you know when a cruise ship is having a good time? When it has a party port!
What do you call a cruise ship that breaks down in the middle of the ocean? A ship out of luck!
My friend celebrated their birthday on a cruise and had so much fun, they said it was the best gift under the sea!
Did you hear about the cruise ship that got caught in a storm? The passengers were all seasick and tired.
How did the pirate get to the cruise ship? He took the ArrrrR & R route!
Why did the octopus go on a cruise? For some deep sea r & r.
My friend went on a Mediterranean cruise and came back with a great suntan. Apparently, it was quite the Mediterranean “sun”-burn.
What do you call a group of retired persons on a cruise? The “sea-nior” citizens!
Why wasn’t the sandcastle allowed on the cruise ship? It didn’t have a boarding pass!
What do you call a cruise ship that never stops at any ports? A sunk cost!
I tried to book a cruise that stopped at all the best islands, but they told me it was a bit of a “scatter” cruise.
Why did the waiter on the cruise ship quit? It was too much of a tipping point.
What did the sailor say when the cruise ship’s buffet went overboard? “There goes all our meals!”

Smooth Sailing with these Hilarious ‘Funny Cruise’ One-Liner Jokes!

The mistress told her wealthy lover, “I’m your ‘cruise’, but only if you can afford me!’
A man recently went on a five-star ‘cruise’ and couldn’t stop ‘sea-ze-ing’ the day.
Why did the captain decide to take sailing lessons? He just wanted to ‘cruise’ in the right direction.
The oceanographer’s favorite pick-up line is “Hey baby, wanna go on a ‘cruise’ together?”
Be careful not to send mixed signals while ‘cruising’ – you might just end up in the ‘Friend Zone’.
Every time I try to plan a trip on a boat, my wife tells me to ‘cruise’ control my spending.
The reason the sailor got fired was because he couldn’t stop ‘harboring’ inappropriate thoughts during his ‘cruise’.
On my last ‘cruise’, I got so seasick that the captain started calling me “The Human Buoy”.
What did the ‘cruise’ ship say to the stranded whale? “Hey buddy, you’re in the wrong ‘cruise’ lane!”
After losing my job, I thought I’d go on a ‘cruise’. Sadly, it turns out you can’t pay for a ‘cruise’ with unemployment checks.
If you want to feel like James Bond, take a ‘cruise’ on a speedboat and hope the bad guys show up at some point.
I asked my friend why she keeps ‘boating’, and she said “It’s my way of staying afloat.”
One time, I went on a ‘cruise’ with my ex-girlfriend. It was like an extended break-up.
I was going to take a ‘cruise’ over the summer, but my budget couldn’t ‘take the heat’.
“Why are cruise ships called ‘floating cities’?” “Because they’re full of people on vacation and have overpriced food.”
No matter how old I get, I will always remember my first ‘cruise’ and getting seasick into a fancy restaurant’s fish tank.
I’d rather swim with sharks than go on a ‘cruise’ with my in-laws.
My mom always said, “Life is a ‘cruise’, just be careful not to jump overboard and swim with the fishies.”
“I’m sorry, sir, it’s our company policy: all ‘cruise’ ships must depart with no more than one missing passenger.”
The oceanographer’s favorite place to eat? A ‘cruise’ buffet – it’s the only place he can ‘succumb’ to his seafood cravings.

Cruising for Laughs: QnA Jokes & Puns about Cruise Ships

Q: What do you call a cruise ship that likes to tell jokes? A: A pun-tying vessel!
Q: Why did the sailor refuse to go on a cruise vacation? A: He didn’t want to be stuck at sea-lebrity!
Q: What did the cruise ship captain say when they reached the dock? A: “We’ve arrived, let’s dock and roll!”
Q: How do you make a Caribbean cruise even better? A: Add a little rum!
Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a cruise? A: The arrrrrrr-tistic shows!
Q: How do you know if a cruise ship is fancy? A: It has a first class-lido deck!
Q: Where do ghosts go on a cruise? A: To the booooo-ffet!
Q: What do you call a cruise ship that loves to dance? A: A samba-sea-dancer!
Q: Why was the cruise ship chef always in a bad mood? A: He was feeling a little “sea salt” in his wound!
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite type of music to listen to on a cruise? A: Sea shanties!
Q: How do you make a cruise more exciting? A: Add a pinch of sea-salt!
Q: What’s a cruise ship’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a tropical beat, of course!
Q: What did the ocean say to the cruise ship? A: Nothing, it just waved!
Q: Why did the cruise ship passengers think the pirate was funny? A: Because he had a great sense of sea-humor!
Q: How does a cruise ship stay in shape? A: It goes to the dock-ery!
Q: What is a cruise ship’s favorite type of workout? A: Deck-ercise!
Q: What do you call a cruise ship that can’t stop dancing? A: A sea-la!
Q: What do you call a cruise ship that never runs out of food? A: A bottoms-olless buffet!
Q: What happens when a pirate goes on a cruise? A: They get arrrr-grade room service from the first mate!
Q: How does a cruise ship apologize? A: It says “sail” sorry!

Smooth Sailing: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Cruise Ship Adventures

“Life is like a cruise, it’s not about the destination, but the buffet on board.”
“A smooth sea never made a skilled cruise ship captain.”
“The only time you hear ‘smooth sailing’ on a cruise is when they’re preparing the margaritas.”
“A true sailor knows that a calm sea does not make a good story.”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a cruise and that’s pretty close.”
“A wise man never booked an inside cabin on a Caribbean cruise.”
“Life is short, but a cruise is long enough to gain 10 pounds and a souvenir belly button ring.”
“A real friend is someone who will share their balcony view with you on a cruise.”
“A rolling suitcase gathering no moss means you’ve been on too many cruises.”
“The best cure for a bad day is a sunset on a cruise ship.”
“When life throws you lemons, trade them in for a tropical drink on a cruise ship.”
“Love is like a cruise, it’s exciting in the beginning, but you might end up seasick.”
“A bad cruise is like a bad date, uncomfortable and too much seafood.”
“You can’t control the waves, but you can learn to do the cha-cha slide on a cruise ship.”
“A true captain goes down with the ship, but a wise one stays on the top deck with a margarita.”
“There’s no better way to see the world than on a cruise, except maybe through a pair of binoculars.”
“Smooth seas do not make for skillful sunbathers.”
“You know you’re on a luxury cruise when even the buffet has shrimp cocktail.”
“A life at sea may be tough, but a life as a land-locked tourist is even tougher.”
“A cruise is like a box of chocolates, you never know what kind of seasickness you’re going to get.”

Smooth Sailing: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Cruise Ships

Why did the cruise ship need a new captain? Because the last one kept making too many port calls.
Why did the cruise ship go to the doctor? Because it had a case of sea-sickness!
I asked the cruise ship navigator for directions and he said, “Just go with the flow.”
Why did the cruise ship give out free Wi-Fi? So everyone could stay connected on board.
How do you make a tissue dance on a cruise ship? Put a little boogie in it.
What did the cruise ship say to the iceberg? “I’ve been ice breaking all day, can I relax now?”
Why did the pirates decide to retire and go on a cruise? Because they were tired of all the buck-an-ear.
Why did the cruise ship passengers form a band? Because they all had great sea-lebrities.
How does a cruise ship eat dinner? In port-ions.
Why did the sea monster go on a cruise? To get some much needed krillaxing time.
What’s a pirate’s favorite thing to do on a cruise ship? Walk the plan-k
Did you hear about the comedian performing on the cruise ship? He had everyone rolling in their deck chairs.
Why did the cruise ship chef turn down the job offer at the new Mexican restaurant? He didn’t want to be thrown overboard for making guaco-mole.
What do you call a pirate who likes being on a cruise ship? A buccaneer of the sea.
How did the cruise ship organize its schedule? They put it all on a chart.
Did you hear about the magician on the cruise ship? He disappeared without a tres-magnifique.
Why did the pirate take a trip on the cruise ship? To get some arrrr and rrrr.
What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music to dance to on a cruise ship? Sea shanties, of course!
Why did the captain start playing cards with the crew on the cruise ship? He just wanted to deck-korate.
What do you call a fake noodle on a cruise ship? An impasta.

Cruise into Laughter with these Double Entendre Puns!

“I went on a cruise, but I couldn’t find my sea legs… I guess I was all at sea.”
“I tried to join the captains’ club on my cruise, but I just didn’t have the port of entry.”
“I was feeling a bit seasick on the cruise, so I went down to the bowels of the ship to see if I could find my sea-legs… I ended up in the kitchen.”
“I told my friend I was going on a Caribbean cruise, and they said, ‘Don’t forget your seamen’.”
“I’m not normally a morning person, but on a cruise, I’m always up for sunrise on the deck.”
“The ship ran out of chocolate mousse on our final night… It was a real desserted island.”
“I thought I saw a mermaid while on my cruise, but it turned out to be a manatee… I must’ve just had sea-nile about it.”
“On the last day of our cruise, I woke up to find all of our belongings scattered around the room… I guess my wife and I had a shipwrecked blowout.”
“I tried to get into the ship’s spa, but they said it was for ‘cruisers’ only… I didn’t know being punny was a requirement.”
“I met a seafaring musician on my cruise and he said he specialized in yacht rock… I think he yachts to be funny.”
“I joked that I was going on a ‘booze cruise’ and my mom said, ‘Oh, you mean like every vacation you’ve ever taken?'”
“I accidentally walked into a fancy event on the cruise and everyone was staring at me… I guess I was dressed for ship-passage, not passage on a ship.”
“I won a gold medal in the onboard belly flop competition… I guess you could say I was the king of the swim-chord.”
“We went on a Mediterranean cruise and the food was amazing… I’m pretty sure I gained seven seas.”
“I thought I saw Justin Bieber on our cruise, but it turned out to just be a really young-looking grandpa… Ship happens.”
“I asked the bartender if they had rum and coke, and they said, ‘I’m sorry, we only have ‘rum and ship’… Well, I guess it’s smooth sailing for me then.”
“I was worried about getting motion sickness, but my friend said to just look at the horizon… I guess you could say it was seaward-thinking.”
“I tried to book a late-night spa treatment, but the only availability was at midnight… I guess I’ll just have to wait until my ship comes in.”
“I asked my husband if he wanted to go on a cruise for our anniversary, and he said, ‘I sea what you did there’… He’s a keeper.”
“I brought my lucky rabbit’s foot on the cruise and everyone was asking if it was to ward off seasickness… I just said, ‘No, I just like hopping for good luck’.”

Cruise Control: A Never-Ending Loop of Laughs with Recursive Puns about ‘Cruise’

Did you hear about the ship that sailed in circles? It was going on a ‘cruise’ cruise.
Why did the sailor go on a ‘cruise’ cruise? He wanted to sea-sick of the same old ports.
I don’t always go on cruises, but when I do, I prefer recursive ones.
What do you call a round trip on a cruise ship? A ‘cruise’ cruise cruise.
I booked a trip on a cruise ship, but I was disappointed. It just kept looping back to the buffet.
How do you know a cruise ship is recursive? It always returns to port.
What do you call a pirate on a never-ending voyage? A recursive ‘cruise’ cruise.
My pirate friend loves going on ‘cruise’ cruises. He says they’re like infinite treasure hunts.
I’m going on a ‘cruise’ cruise next week. It’s an open-ended itinerary.
What did the captain say when he realized his cruise ship was stuck in a loop? “We’re going on a one-way ‘cruise’ cruise.”
Why do circular objects make great cruise ships? Because they have a ‘cruise’ cruise circumference.
My friend refused to go on a recursive ‘cruise’ cruise. She said she didn’t want to get caught in a spin cycle.
Did you hear about the ship that got stuck in a time loop? It was an unintentional ‘cruise’ cruise.
I went on a cruise that just kept circling the same island. It was a ‘cruise’ cruise gone wrong.
What do you call a group of sailors constantly repeating the same voyage? A recursive ‘cruise’ cruise crew.
How do pirates navigate a never-ending ‘cruise’ cruise? They just keep a’yarr’-owing with the waves.
My friend thought she booked a round trip cruise, but it turned out to be recursive. She was stuck on a ‘cruise’ cruise loop.
I keep forgetting if I’ve been on a particular cruise before. I think I might have a ‘cruise’ cruise memory problem.
What happens when you combine a round trip flight with a cruise? You get a ‘cruise’ cruise plane-ship.
Why did the captain keep losing track of where he was sailing? He was on a never-ending ‘cruise’ cruise and couldn’t find his bearings.

Cruising through the Malapropisms: A Comical Sea Voyage

“I always make sure to wear proper ‘boos’ on a cruise.” (instead of ‘shoes’)
“My favorite part of the ‘booze’ is the all-you-can-eat buffet.” (instead of ‘cruise’)
“I can’t wait to explore all the ‘swimmers’ on my European ‘crusade’.” (instead of ‘sights’ and ‘cruise’)
“I packed all my best ‘swimbots’ for the tropical ‘seasons’ on my cruise.” (instead of ‘swimsuits’ and ‘destinations’)
“The captain announced we’ll be making a stop at the ‘Bay of ‘Penguins’ tomorrow.” (instead of ‘Bay of Pigs’)
“I had to pay extra for the ‘alcohol package’ on my family ‘crude’.” (instead of ‘alcohol package’ and ‘cruise’)
“I can’t believe they charge extra for ‘laundry soap’ on this ‘crusoe’.” (instead of ‘laundry service’ and ‘cruise’)
“We’re thinking of booking a ‘booze-long’ cruise for our honeymoon.” (instead of ‘luxury’ and ‘cruise’)
“I hope they have a good band on this ‘misery’ – sorry, I mean ‘mystery’ – cruiser.” (instead of ‘mystery cruiser’)
“I’m not a fan of ‘snorkeling,’ but I love snorkeling on my cruises.” (instead of ‘snorkeling’ and ‘crusoe’)
“I can’t decide if I want to do the ‘jungle tour’ or the ‘pillow wall’ excursion.” (instead of ‘jungle tour’ and ‘pilates’ excursion)
“Can you believe they forgot to pack the ‘sun cream’ for our cruise?” (instead of ‘sunscreen’)
“I always book an ‘all-inclusive cruse’ so I don’t have to worry about anything.” (instead of ‘all-inclusive cruise’)
“I can’t wait to try all the ‘foodballs’ at the buffet on my ‘car solo’ cruise.” (instead of ‘meatballs’ and ‘caribbean’ cruise)
“I don’t understand why they call it a ‘cruiser ship,’ shouldn’t it be a ‘cruise ship’?” (instead of ‘cruise ship’)
“We’re going on a ‘booze cruise’ – I mean a ‘family cruise’ – next month.” (instead of ‘family cruise’)
“I love the ‘gala dinners’ on my cruises, it’s just like the Oscars.” (instead of ‘formal dinners’)
“I heard the ‘cruise director’ is really funny, like he’s doing stand-up or something.” (instead of ‘cruise director’)
“I can’t wait to try all the ‘caution options’ at the onboard buffet.” (instead of ‘caution foods’)
“I’m so excited to go on a ‘champagne float’ on my ‘car ribbed’ cruise.” (instead of ‘champagne toast’ and ‘caribbean’ cruise)

Cruisin’ for a Spoonin’: Hilarious Spoonerisms about Your Favorite Voyage

“Cruise Flip” instead of “Flu Crips”
“Booze Cruiser” instead of “Cruise Boozer”
“Lose Cruise” instead of “Cruise Loose”
“Moose Cruise” instead of “Cruise Moose”
“Snooze Cruise” instead of “Cruise Snooze”
“Rule Cruise” instead of “Cruise Rule”
“Doom Cruise” instead of “Cruise Doom”
“Fuse Cruise” instead of “Cruise Fools”
“Zoom Cruise” instead of “Cruise Zoom”
“Smooth Cruise” instead of “Cruise Smooth”
“Jewel Cruise” instead of “Cruise Jewel”
“Deuce Cruise” instead of “Cruise Deuce”
“Bruise Cruise” instead of “Cruise Bruise”
“Tool Cruise” instead of “Cruise Tool”
“Fruit Cruise” instead of “Cruise Fruit”
“News Cruise” instead of “Cruise News”
“Pool Cruise” instead of “Cruise Pool”
“True Cruise” instead of “Cruise True”
“Glue Cruise” instead of “Cruise Glue”
“Stew Cruise” instead of “Cruise Stew”

Smooth Sailing with Cruise-tastic Tom Swifties

“I always get seasick on boats,” said Tom, sternly.
“I love ordering drinks at happy hour,” said Tom, spiritedly.
“I can’t believe how much I paid for this cruise,” said Tom, critically.
“I can’t wait to hit the pool deck,” said Tom, divingly.
“I’m not a fan of the small cabins,” said Tom, vaguely.
“This buffet is never-ending,” said Tom, ravenously.
“I heard there’s a magician on board,” said Tom, prestidigiously.
“I think I’ll stick to the salad bar today,” said Tom, leafily.
“I love being out at sea,” said Tom, waveringly.
“The view from our balcony is stunning,” said Tom, cabinently.
“I can’t wait to explore the ports of call,” said Tom, cruiseadeerly.
“I forgot to pack sunscreen,” said Tom, sunlessly.
“I feel like a celebrity on this ship,” said Tom, stateroomly.
“I can’t believe we’re already halfway through the week,” said Tom, cruisinously.
“I think I’ll skip the karaoke night,” said Tom, croonlessly.
“This ship is like a floating city,” said Tom, harborously.
“I think I’ll grab another slice of pizza,” said Tom, crustily.
“I heard there’s a salsa dance party tonight,” said Tom, cruiseamente.
“I don’t think I’ll ever want to leave this cruise,” said Tom, disembarkingly.
“I can’t believe I ate eight courses at dinner,” said Tom, cruiselly.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cruise in for a laugh with these hilarious knock-knock jokes!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cruise.
Cruise who? Cruise into my heart and never leave!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lily.
Lily who? Lily who! Don’t you remember me? We went on a cruise together!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive who? Olive you so much, Cruise!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Robin.
Robin who? Robin the bank, let’s go on a cruise!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita.
Anita who? Anita go on a cruise, can we plan one together?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry.
Harry who? Harry up and book a cruise, we both need a vacation!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Buzz.
Buzz who? Buzz all aboard, we’re ready for our cruise!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Philip.
Philip who? Philip my cup and let’s go on a cruise!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Maya.
Maya who? Maya take you on a cruise, my treat!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Elliot.
Elliot who? Elliot’s go on a cruise and have the time of our lives!

Bon Voyage, these puns will cruise-ify you!

That’s it folks, we’ve officially reached the end of our pun-filled cruise! But don’t fret, we’ve got plenty more laughs and groan-worthy jokes on our page for your enjoyment. So sit back, relax, and get ready to sea the hilarious side of life with our other puns and joke posts. Bon voyage on your pun-tastic journey!