Roadtrip LOLs: 200+ Driving Jokes & Puns to Keep You Laughing

Attention all drivers, buckle up because we’re about to take a hilarious ride! Get ready to rev your engines and put the pedal to the puns with the best jokes about driving. Whether you’re a kid in the backseat or a grown-up behind the wheel, this list of clever and positive driving jokes will have you honking with laughter. Prepare for some “humor”ous adventures on the road ahead. Let’s hit the road and enjoy these funny jokes together!

funny Driving jokes with one liner clever Driving puns at PunnyFunny.com

Gear Up for Laughs: Our Top ‘Driving’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

Why was the driver arrested? He was over the legal a-“limit”.
What do you call a driver who doesn’t signal? Wrong Turn Wilson.
What’s a driver’s favorite song? “I Will Drive You” by The Beatles.
Why did the car need therapy? It had a lot of issues to “work out.”
How do you make a car go faster? Just put a “Vroom” sticker on it.
What did the stop sign say to the car? “Stop, Hammertime!”
I got a ticket for speeding on the highway, but I don’t know why. I didn’t see any speed limit signs.
What did the car say when it hit the speed bump? “Oh shift.”
What do you call a reckless driver in a small town? A “wheel-y” problem.
Why did the tire go to school? To learn some hard “science.”
My car and I have a lot in common. We both need a lot of “maintenance.”
Be careful when driving in the rain. You don’t want to end up hydroplaning into another car-“pool.”
Why was the car so depressed? It was stuck in “park.”
I finally beat my GPS at its own game. It told me to turn left, so I turned the music up and blasted straight ahead.
What do you call a tailgating driver? Rear-“ender.”
The highway was so empty, I felt like I was in a post-apocalyptic movie. But then I remembered it’s just rush hour traffic.
Did you hear about the car that got a parking ticket? It was “tow” much to handle.
What is a race car’s favorite drink? Fuel-“Ade”.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You’d be angry too if you had to change all day.
I used to think driving was stressful, but then I realized it’s just a “steering.”

Rev Up the Laughter with These Hilarious ‘Driving’ One-Liner Jokes

My favorite thing about driving is pretending I’m in a Fast and Furious movie, except it’s more like Slow and Casual.
I’m not a bad driver, I’m just highly alert to my surroundings…and by surroundings, I mean potential obstacles on the road.
If speed kills, then consider me the safest driver on the street.
Why did the car break up with the mechanic? They just couldn’t seem to get in gear.
“Cruise control” is just a fancy term for “driving on autopilot”.
I’m convinced the turn signal was designed for decoration purposes only.
An optimist sees a gas tank half full, a pessimist sees it half empty, and a driver never has time to check because they’re running late.
You know you’re an aggressive driver when your horn is your most frequently used instrument.
That feeling when you finally find a parking spot…except it’s three blocks away from where you need to be.
Always remember to give a wide berth to the car with a “Student Driver” sticker…in case they’re still learning how to brake.
If you ever get lost while driving, just remember – U-turns are just “re-routing”.
“Keep left unless overtaking” is more like “stay in the right lane unless you want to be sandwiched between two big trucks”.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from my terrible driving!
I always try to keep a safe distance from other cars on the road…mainly because I can’t parallel park to save my life.
Why did the car get rid of its fancy wheels? It couldn’t afford to “tire” them out.
PSA: Blinkers are not optional accessories – use them before you make me miss my turn.
I never get road rage, I just use my interior monologue to scream profanities at other drivers.
Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken of driving in rush hour traffic.
I don’t always have road rage, but when I do, someone is going to get an earful…from the comfort of my locked car window.
People often say I drive like I stole something…but only because I’m always running late for everything.

Put the Pedal to the Punchline: QnA Jokes & Puns about Driving

Q: What do you call a sleeping driver? A: A road nap-ture.
Q: What do you do when a car next to you starts swerving? A: In-car-nito.
Q: What do you do when you’re stuck in traffic? A: Car-pool karaoke.
Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? A: Because it was two-tired.
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car? A: Don’t look, I’m changing.
Q: What do cars eat on their birthday? A: Traffic cones-cakes.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No idea.
Q: What do you call a semi-truck full of bees? A: Buzzin’ freighter.
Q: What do you call a car that’s not yours? A: A car-my.
Q: What do you call a car that skips school? A: A truancy-coupe.
Q: What do you get when you cross a car with a skunk? A: A smelly ride.
Q: What did the red light say to the green light? A: Don’t look, I’m changing.
Q: Why did the car go to therapy? A: It had a lot of issues.
Q: How does a penguin drive its car? A: Flipping the flippers.
Q: What did one car say to the other during a race? A: Oil be back.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation? A: A bloodmobile.
Q: Why did the man put his car in the oven? A: He wanted a hot rod.
Q: What do you call a monkey that loves to drive? A: A chauffeurilla.
Q: What type of car does Santa drive? A: A toy-ota.
Q: What did the car’s owner say when it was stolen? A: Someone fender-napped it.

Steer Clear of Trouble: Hilarious Quotes on Driving

“A car is a lot like love – it can take you to new heights or crash and burn in a matter of seconds.”
“The best way to avoid a speeding ticket is to drive slower than your grandma on a Sunday afternoon.”
“Don’t drink and drive, you might spill your beer.”
“Life is a highway, but my GPS keeps rerouting me.”
“Driving a car is like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire and you’re in hell.”
“A smooth ride in a car is like a good relationship – it requires regular maintenance.”
“Road rage is just nature’s way of telling you to get off the highway.”
“My driving is like a blind date… it’s either a pleasant surprise or a complete disaster.”
“The best drivers are the ones who know when to hit the brake… and not just out of frustration.”
“Driving without your seatbelt on is like going to a party without pants – it’s risky and just not a good look.”
“The only time fate should be in the driver’s seat is if you’re playing Mario Kart.”
“If you think a four-way stop is confusing, try navigating through a family dinner with in-laws.”
“The horn is your car’s polite way of saying ‘what the f*** are you doing?'”
“Driving with a teenager in the passenger seat is like jumping out of a plane with a chicken… you know they’ll freak out, but you do it anyways.”
“Why fit in when you can stand out in traffic by driving a bright yellow car?”
“Giving someone the finger while driving should really be considered a love tap.”
“If life gives you lemons, just turn down the radio, roll down the windows, and floor it.”
“Let’s be real, the real reason people love convertibles is so they can fix their hair at every red light.”
“A mistake on the road is like a bad haircut, it’ll grow back… eventually.”
“You know what’s more impressive than parallel parking? Finding a friend who will help you move.”

Rev up the laughter with these cheesy Dad Jokes about Driving

“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.”
“I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”
“What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing!”
“What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wreck.”
“Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.”
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.”
“Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.”
“What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
“Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
“I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.”
“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.”
“Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.”
“I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.”
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.”
“What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.”
“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
“Why did the chicken cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t chicken.”
“How do you organize a space party? You planet.”
“I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—he was just collecting dust.”

Rev Up Your Humor with These ‘Driving’ Double Entendre Puns!

“I had a rough ride on the highway this morning…my car ran out of gas and I was running on empty too!”
“Sorry officer, I didn’t mean to hit your bumper…I just got a little too excited about merging.”
“My car has a mind of its own…it always seems to steer towards the nearest drive-thru.”
“I just got a brand new set of car keys…they’re supercharged and ready to rev up my engine!”
“My wife won’t let me drive her car anymore…she says I have a heavy foot and it’s always on her brakes!”
“Did you hear about the car that crashed into the bakery? At least now it’s a carb-free delivery service!”
“I took my car to the mechanic and asked him to fix the stereo…he replaced it with a new radio, but it still won’t sing!”
“I thought I was the king of the road until I tried to parallel park…then I realized I was just a humble jester.”
“I’ve been trying to find my way to the car wash for hours…I keep getting stuck in the spin cycle.”
“My girlfriend loves when I drive stick shift…but only because it gives her a chance to grab my hand.”
“I got pulled over for driving too slowly…apparently, you can get a ticket for going under the mimosa limit.”
“I finally found the perfect car for my wife…it has a built-in GPS so she can never get lost while nagging me for directions.”
“I was driving down the road and saw a herd of cows in the middle of the highway…looks like they were trying to steer clear of traffic.”
“I’ve been driving for so long, I think I need a caffeine boost…my car is starting to feel like a decaf vehicle.”
“I thought I was in the fast lane, but then I looked in my rearview mirror…turns out, I was just getting passed by a senior citizen on a scooter.”
“My car doesn’t have a horn, it has a duck call…honking just seems so passé nowadays.”
“Sometimes my car refuses to start…I think it’s just trying to teach me the value of patience.”
“Have you ever tried to drive in stiletto heels? It’s like being a toddler learning how to walk all over again.”
“I tried to switch lanes, but my car wouldn’t let me…apparently, I need to signal first and ask for permission.”
“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…and to avoid any reckless drivers!”

Keep your eyes on the ‘road’recursion with these hilarious puns about driving!

Why did the car have a bad attitude? Because it always had a “driving” personality.
I always forget to buckle my seatbelt, but luckily I have a back-“up” plan.
Why couldn’t the bicycle go for a drive? Because it was “two-tired”
I used to hate driving in the city, but now I find it “purr”-fectly enjoyable.
Why did the kids call their mom’s old car a “time machine”? Because it was a “mama” mobile.
Did you hear about the car dealership that opened a restaurant? They have the most “drive”-able food.
My friend is obsessed with Formula One racing, he’s always trying to get me to come “around” to the sport.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the “other drive”.
I never trust my navigation system, it always takes me on the “long way ’round”.
The traffic was so bad, I thought I’d never get home. But then I realized I was just “driving” myself crazy.
Why did the car need a therapist? Because it was suffering from “car”-xiety.
My friend’s car only has a tape deck, he’s definitely “behind” the times.
How does a car cool itself down? By rolling down its “window”-s.
Why was the car upset when it got a parking ticket? Because it felt like it had been “policed”.
Did you hear about the driver who had a tape measure instead of a steering wheel? He was always trying to “measure” his speed.
The car refused to budge until it heard the magic words: “Please brake”.
I used to work as a valet, but I quit because the job was “park”-ing me crazy.
What kind of car does a baker drive? A “loaf”-ed vehicle.
Why did the truck driver skip lunch? Because he was “loading” up on snacks in between deliveries.
My friend’s car is always breaking down, but he says it has “drive”-abilities others don’t have.

Rev up Your Vocabulary with Driving Malapropisms!

Gear-shifter instead of rear-view mirror
Traction tantrum instead of traction control
Windshield cleaner instead of turn signal
Accelerator-pedal instead of brake pedal
Speed dingo instead of speedometer
Headlight getter instead of gas pedal
Turbo cuddle instead of turbo charger
Horn radar instead of radar detector
Gear-grinder instead of gear shift
Wheel tamer instead of steering wheel
Gear sloth instead of gear stick
Rocket brake instead of emergency brake
Exhaust fumes instead of exhaust pipe
Fuel drinker instead of gas tank
Brake confetti instead of brake dust
Muffin-tipped instead of rubber-tipped
Dashboard light-bulbs instead of headlights
Crankshaft handle instead of steering wheel
Carrot converter instead of catalytic converter
Skid marker instead of skid mark

Reviving Spoonerisms about Driving: Hilarious Caricatures of Language on the Road!

“Wrecking plain” instead of “reckless driving”
“Sitting behind the wheelly” instead of “wheeling behind the seat”
“Gas breaking” instead of “brake gassing”
“Road die” instead of “dough rise”
“Stick cift” instead of “shift stick”
“Wheel skin” instead of “steal win”
“Parkaddle” instead of “parallel park”
“Mirror rearving” instead of “rearview mirror”
“Highshroof” instead of “roof height”
“Turn signal house” instead of “signal turn around”
“Drunk driving bido” instead of “driving under the influence”
“Fast and the infuriated” instead of “furious and the fast”
“Grain-aging” instead of “aging grandma”
“Fog vights” instead of “vog fights”
“Cruise butter” instead of “bruise cutter”
“Gear shifter ball” instead of “ball shifter gear”
“Driging holes” instead of “highway tolls”
“Ax windel” instead of “windshield wiper”
“Signal blinker” instead of “blinker signal”
“Dell dan damage” instead of “damage done deal”

Taking the Road by Storm: Driving Tom Swifties with Speed and Wit

“I can’t find the brake pedal,” Tom drove home slowly.
“I hit a pothole,” said Tom with a bump.
“I’m too tired to drive,” Tom yawned.
“I’m going the wrong way,” Tom turned around.
“We’re going too fast,” Tom raced ahead.
“I forgot my seatbelt,” said Tom unbuckled.
“I think we’re lost,” said Tom, driving in circles.
“I need a bigger car,” Tom felt cramped.
“I can’t parallel park,” Tom failed miserably.
“I need more gas,” Tom sputtered.
“I spilled my coffee,” said Tom with a jolt.
“I need a map,” Tom lost direction.
“I need to rest my eyes,” Tom blinked.
“I’m a natural at this,” Tom boasted while swerving.
“I hate traffic,” Tom honked his horn.
“I love driving in the rain,” said Tom, hydroplaning.
“We’re going downhill,” Tom warned.
“I have the right of way,” Tom asserted.
“I’m taking a shortcut,” Tom veered off the road.
“I’m a pro at parallel parking,” Tom bragged, parking between two cars.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Driveway – where knock-knock jokes about driving get their start!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brake. Brake who? Brake yourself, I’m coming in hot!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Road. Road who? Road trip! Let’s hit the open highway.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Speeding. Speeding who? Speeding ticket? Not me, officer!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Speed bump. Speed bump who? Speed bump ahead, better slow down.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Turn signal. Turn signal who? Turn signal on, safety first!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Carpool. Carpool who? Carpool karaoke, anyone?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Detour. Detour who? Detour ahead, looks like we’re taking the scenic route.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fuel. Fuel who? Fuel up, we don’t want to run out of gas on the highway.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Construction. Construction who? Construction zone, better watch out for those orange cones.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Reverse. Reverse who? Reverse psychology, I’m not telling you to drive faster.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pothole. Pothole who? Pothole ahead, hold onto your seats!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? U-turn. U-turn who? U-turn that frown upside down, let’s go for a joyride.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Traffic. Traffic who? Traffic jam, turn up the music and enjoy the view.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? License. License who? License to drive, and I intend to use it!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Parking lot. Parking lot who? Parking lot full, looks like we’re circling the block.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toll. Toll who? Toll booth ahead, time to dig into those pockets.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hogwarts. Hogwarts who? Hogwarts School of Driving, where magic happens on the roads.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Headlights. Headlights who? Headlights on, night driving is no joke.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Traffic light. Traffic light who? Traffic light on, means green means go!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Road rage. Road rage who? Road rage, not with me in the car. Let’s stay chill on the road.

Steering you to laughter in our finale!

And that concludes our collection of 200+ puns and jokes about driving! We hope you found them both hilarious and a bit of a brake from your day. Remember to always drive safely, but don’t forget to have a little fun on the road. And if you’re still looking for more puns and jokes to fuel your laughter, check out our other posts on related topics like road trips, traffic, and car maintenance. Happy driving and keep on pun-dering!