Get a Cut Above the Rest with 200+ Axe Jokes & Puns

funny Axe jokes with one liner clever Axe puns at PunnyFunny.com

Are you ready to chop up your day into a laughter-filled frenzy? Look no further, because we’ve got the best list of axe jokes and puns to satisfy your humor cravings. From clever plays on words to hilarious one-liners, prepare yourself for a laughter workout with these hilarious puns about the trusty axe. Get ready to be axed in the funny bone and enjoy this positive spin on the tool we all love to hate. Let’s dive into the chopping block of humor!

Axe-tra Sharp and Funny: Our Top Picks for Hilarious Axe Puns and Jokes!

  1. “Why did the lumberjack break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t handle his sharp humor.”
  2. “What’s an axe’s favorite TV show? Game of Thrones.”
  3. “I don’t trust trees…they seem shady.”
  4. “What did one axe say to the other? Let’s stick together.”
  5. “Why don’t lumberjacks ever get lost in the forest? Because they have a good sense of direction.”
  6. “How do you make a werewolf laugh? Tell him an axcellent joke.”
  7. “What did the tree say to the axe? Nothing, it just gave him a cold shoulder.”
  8. “Why did the axe go to the therapist? It had some serious splitting issues.”
  9. “What did the lumberjack say when he won the lottery? I’m going to be stumped for cash!”
  10. “Why did the axe have a hard time making friends? Because it kept getting the cold shoulder.”
  11. “I asked my friend if he needed help carrying his firewood, but he said he had it all under axe control.”
  12. “How does an axe like its steak cooked? Chopped, of course.”
  13. “Why did the axe throw a party? Because it was feeling axecited.”
  14. “What do you call an axe-throwing competition? A choppable-cross challenge.”
  15. “Why was the axe always late to work? Because it kept getting caught up in traffic.”
  16. “What did the lumberjack say to his axe before chopping down a tree? Together, we’ll make some pine sawdust!”
  17. “Why was the axe feeling down? It was going through an identity crisis – people kept mistaking it for a hatchet.”
  18. “What’s an axe’s favorite game? Limberjack.”
  19. “Why did the axe go to the doctor’s office? It had a splitting headache.”
  20. “Why did the lumberjack bring an axe to the nightclub? It was time to cut loose!”

Chop Up the Laughs with These Funny ‘Axe’ One-Liner Jokes

  1. Why did the lumberjack quit his job? He couldn’t handle the ax-citement.
  2. I told my wife not to chop her hair off, but she gave me the axe anyway.
  3. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite movie genre? Ax-tion movies.
  4. I accidentally chopped off my toe with an axe. It was a real toe-saw.
  5. My friend told me he’s getting a new job as a lumberjack. I told him to axe-man questions.
  6. I went to the store to buy an axe, but they said they were out of stock. I guess demand was too high for the axe-essible price.
  7. I never trust anyone who wears an axe body spray. They’re usually two axes short of a full set.
  8. Why did the lumberjack think his phone was an axe? Because it had a woodchuck case.
  9. People are always asking me for my secret to getting perfectly chopped firewood. I tell them it’s simple… I just use my ax-ellent skills.
  10. What do you call a lumberjack who’s afraid of using an axe? A scaredy-cutter.
  11. My boss wanted me to chop down a tree at work, but I refused. I told him I wasn’t ax-pert enough for the job.
  12. Why did the beaver get fired from his lumberjack job? He kept cutting corners.
  13. The only thing sharper than a lumberjack’s ax is his wit.
  14. Why did the lumberjack go see a therapist? He had deep-seeded axe-ieties.
  15. Did you hear about the lumberjack who won an award for his tree-chopping skills? He was ax-cellent.
  16. I decided to give up my career as a lumberjack and become a comedian instead. I guess you could say I traded my ax for a mic.
  17. My lumberjack friend got fired from his job for constantly making bad jokes. They said his humor was just too axe-hausting.
  18. Whenever I pick up an axe, I can’t help but feel like I’m wielding power. It’s a real ax-perience.
  19. What did the tree say to the lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
  20. I told my wife I was going to start a band with my lumberjack neighbor. She asked what instrument he plays and I said, “the ax-aphone.”

Splitting Sides and Logs: Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about Axe

  1. Why did the lumberjack bring an extra pair of pants to work? Because he was afraid he might ax-identally split his own wood!
  2. Why did the axe have such a big chip on its shoulder? Because it had been cutting down trees all day!
  3. What did the tree say to the axe? You’re really starting to get on my nerves.
  4. How do you make an axe laugh? You give it a good tickle with a chainsaw!
  5. What do you call an axe that’s afraid to chop wood? Achrophobic!
  6. Why did the lumberjack always use the same axe? Because it was a cut above the rest!
  7. How does a lumberjack order his tools? He axes nicely!
  8. What is an axe’s favorite type of music? Chop music!
  9. What did the axe say to the lumberjack? I axe-cept my fate as a tool for your trade.
  10. What did the tree say to the lumberjack when he asked it to move out of the way? I’ll leaf you alone, just don’t axe me again.
  11. Why was the axe invited to the wood’s party? Because it was sharp and had a great edge!
  12. How do you know you’re getting old? When your jokes about axes are starting to become a bit blunt.
  13. Why did the lumberjack use an axe instead of a chainsaw? Because he didn’t want to feel too over-compensated.
  14. How does an axe lose weight? By shedding a few tree pounds.
  15. What did the axe say when it was asked to chop down a tree? No problem, I’ll get right to the root of it.
  16. Why did the tree start a band? Because it wanted to be in tree part harmony with the axe!
  17. How does an axe handle its emotions? It keeps them all bottled up until someone asks it to let them axe-press themselves.
  18. Why did the lumberjack get fired? He was always choppin’ it up with the wrong crowd.
  19. How does an axe like its coffee? Ground up and strong!
  20. What do you call a lumberjack who’s always in a hurry? An axe-pediter!

Chop up some laughs with these hilariously wise axe proverbs!

  1. When all you have is an axe, everything looks like firewood.
  2. An axe rarely asks for forgiveness, it just keeps chopping.
  3. A dull axe is like a politician’s promise – it may look good, but it won’t get the job done.
  4. It’s not the size of the axe that matters, but the force behind the swing.
  5. An axe can’t make a bad carpenter, but it can sure make a lot of firewood.
  6. Trying to chop down a tree with a butter knife is like bringing a feather to a battle of axes.
  7. The best way to appreciate an axe is to take a break from chopping and sharpen it.
  8. A wise man knows when to put down his axe and pick up his fishing rod.
  9. An old axe can still fell a mighty oak, as long as it’s in the hands of a skilled lumberjack.
  10. When in doubt, trust in your trusty axe – it’s been there for you through thick and thin.
  11. An axe in the hands of a fool is like a ticking time bomb – sooner or later, something’s gonna get chopped off.
  12. A tree that falls on its own is lucky, but one that falls under an axe is just plain unlucky.
  13. The sound of an axe splitting wood is like music to a lumberjack’s ears.
  14. A tree may have many branches, but an axe only needs one good swing to bring it down.
  15. The best workouts are the ones where you get to use an axe and still call it productive.
  16. An axe can’t fix everything, but it can sure make firewood out of it.
  17. Don’t judge an axe by its handle – the sharpness of its blade is what really matters.
  18. A well-maintained axe is like a loyal friend – always ready to lend a helping hand, or in this case, blade.
  19. It’s not about how hard you swing the axe, it’s about how accurately you aim.
  20. The true beauty of an axe is not in its design, but in the precision of its cut.

Get a Sharper Sense of Humor with these Axe-ceptional Dad Jokes

  1. Why did the lumberjack break up with his axe? Because it was too choppy.
  2. What do you call a wooden stick with an axe tied to it? A tree-t chopping tool.
  3. Why was the axe afraid to go to the party? Because it thought it would get the chop.
  4. Did you hear about the axe who became a comedian? He killed it with his one-liners.
  5. What did one axe say to another axe? Let’s stick together.
  6. Why do axes make great comedians? They have a sharp sense of humor.
  7. How do you make an axe laugh? Give it some pun-ch lines.
  8. What did the axe say when it was feeling down? I need to axe someone for help.
  9. Why did the lumberjack buy a new axe? His old one was getting dull.
  10. What do you call an axe that needs therapy? An axe-ident waiting to happen.
  11. Why did the axe go to therapy? It had too many issues to cut through.
  12. How does an axe like its coffee? Chop-pull-o.
  13. What do you call an axe who loves gardening? A hedge chopper.
  14. Why couldn’t the axe decide what to wear? It was stumped.
  15. What do you get when you cross an axe with a bunny? A hare cutter.
  16. Why was the axe feeling overwhelmed? It had too many responsibilities to hatchet out.
  17. What did the axe say to the log? I’ll be back, I just need to take a little chop break.
  18. Why did the lumberjack prefer using an axe instead of a chainsaw? Because it gave him a better chopping experience.
  19. What’s an axe’s favorite type of music? Chop and roll.
  20. How does an axe sign its name? With an X, of course.

Sharpen Your Axe with These Axe-citing Double Entendre Puns!

  1. “I need to sharpen my axe, it’s been feeling a bit dull lately.”
  2. “My ex-wife took half of everything, except my trusty axe.”
  3. “I always bring my trusty axe on dates, just in case they want some wood.”
  4. “I may have a chip on my shoulder, but my axe is always ready to chop it off.”
  5. “I asked my boss for a raise, but he just gave me the axe.”
  6. “Who needs an alarm clock when you have an axe to wake you up?”
  7. “I’ll never forget the look on my ex’s face when I told her I was giving her the axe.”
  8. “The only thing sharper than my axe is my wit.”
  9. “I’ll never leave home without my axe and a good sense of humor.”
  10. “My axe always gets me out of sticky situations.”
  11. “Sorry, I can’t hang out tonight, I have to spend some quality time with my axe.”
  12. “I can never decide which I love more, my axe or my double entendres.”
  13. “I may not be a lumberjack, but I know how to handle an axe.”
  14. “My ex-girlfriend said I had a one-track mind, but at least I have a two-sided axe.”
  15. “A lot of people think my job as a firefighter is dangerous, but I always have my trusty axe by my side.”
  16. “Some people collect stamps, I collect axes.”
  17. “My partner always gives me the side eye when I ask him if he wants to ‘chop chop’ with my axe.”
  18. “I may have a few ‘ax-idents’ in my life, but they always make for a good story.”
  19. “The key to a strong relationship is communication, and also a sharp axe.”
  20. “I’ll never get rid of my old axe, it holds too many memories… and bodies.”

Chop Away the Competition with these Hilarious Recursive Puns about Axe

  1. I tried to chop down a tree with my pun, but it just ended up being an axe-ident.
  2. Axes are always waiting for an opportunity to pun-ch someone.
  3. I asked the lumberjack if he had any good tree jokes, but he just shook his head and gave me the axe.
  4. My friend accidentally bought an axe instead of a guitar and now they’re a real axe-man.
  5. If you’re chopping wood, make sure you always bring a pun with you. It’s just axe-pected.
  6. The inventor of the axe must have been really sharp-minded.
  7. I know a great lumberjack who can chop down trees with just one pun.
  8. The axe went on strike because it wasn’t getting paid enough, so it formed a union: Axe-punt.
  9. I’m not a fan of using an axe because it’s too hackneyed.
  10. After making so many puns, I’m starting to feel axhausted.
  11. I asked my friend to borrow their axe and they replied, “axe me later.”
  12. An axe may be heavy, but a pun can weigh a ton of laughter.
  13. The axe was feeling underappreciated, so I gave it a little bit of axe-ademy.
  14. I may not be able to chop down a tree, but I can definitely chop down some puns.
  15. The lumberjack’s favorite type of pun is the ones that come with an axe-planation.
  16. A tree asked an axe, “Why do you keep hacking me?” And the axe replied, “Because I’m a lumber ‘jack’ of all trades.”
  17. I asked my math teacher for help with a problem and he answered, “You need to use the Pythagorean Theorem to solve this, axed me why.”
  18. The lumberjack was feeling a little ax-e prickly after being in the forest all day.
  19. I hate when my puns get too deep and axe-tract attention.
  20. The axe couldn’t find its way out of the forest, so it just kept pun-dering where to go.

The Cutting Edge of Comedy: Axe-quisite Malapropisms to Make You LOL

  1. “I’m feeling really ‘hatchet’ today.”
  2. “I’ll ‘ax’ you a question.”
  3. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it ‘chopped’.”
  4. “I’ll ‘axe’ the bartender for another drink.”
  5. “He’s definitely not the sharpest ‘axe handle’ in the shed.”
  6. “I’m ‘hatchet’ that I finished my homework early.”
  7. “I’m going to ‘unhinge’ this door with my ‘ax.'”
  8. “That movie was an ‘ax-ellent’ comedy.”
  9. “I’m not the ‘axeman’ of this office, I just work here.”
  10. “We need to come up with an ‘ax-tion plan’ for this project.”
  11. “I’ll ‘chop’ off the extra length of this board with my ‘ax.'”
  12. “Don’t you dare ‘ax’ me to do that, it’s ridiculous!”
  13. “I had a ‘blade’ of grass stuck in my shoe.”
  14. “He thought he was being clever, but his joke was really ‘axcratch.'”
  15. “I can’t believe she actually ‘axed’ me out on a date.”
  16. “I’m not going to ‘axe’ for forgiveness, I did nothing wrong!”
  17. “My ‘ax-tended’ family is coming over for dinner tonight.”
  18. “I’m feeling a bit ‘axed’ out after that workout.”
  19. “I lost my car keys somewhere in the ‘ax-crack’ of the couch.”
  20. “I’m going to ‘ax-ercise’ my right to vote in the upcoming election.”

Axe-cellent Wordplay: Hilarious Spoonerisms about ‘Axe’!

  1. “Axe weeding” instead of “weed axing”
  2. “Axe spray” instead of “spray axe”
  3. “Axe grinder” instead of “grind axer”
  4. “Axe murderer” instead of “murder axer”
  5. “Axe smelling” instead of “smell axing”
  6. “Axe chopping” instead of “chop axing”
  7. “Axe handling” instead of “handle axing”
  8. “Axe throwing” instead of “throw axing”
  9. “Axe trimming” instead of “trim axing”
  10. “Axe splitting” instead of “split axing”
  11. “Axe sharpening” instead of “sharpen axing”
  12. “Axe whacking” instead of “whack axing”
  13. “Axe cutting” instead of “cut axing”
  14. “Axe hacking” instead of “hack axing”
  15. “Axe swinging” instead of “swing axing”
  16. “Axe smashing” instead of “smash axing”
  17. “Axe breaking” instead of “break axing”
  18. “Axe carving” instead of “carve axing”
  19. “Axe sculpting” instead of “sculpt axing”
  20. “Axe shaping” instead of “shape axing”

Chop Your Way to Laughter with Axe-tastic Tom Swifties

  1. “I can’t believe I lost my axe again,” Tom said choplessly.
  2. “I accidentally chopped off my own foot,” Tom said taperedly.
  3. “I think we need a bigger axe,” Tom said severely.
  4. “I broke the world record for tree chopping,” Tom said axhaustedly.
  5. “Axe me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies,” Tom said cuttingly.
  6. “I never get tired of swinging my axe,” Tom said tirelessly.
  7. “I think I’ll take a swing at this problem,” Tom said axiously.
  8. “I’m getting a little axetreme with my wood chopping,” Tom said threateningly.
  9. “I always have an axetra blade handy,” Tom said axuberantly.
  10. “I’m axing you to trust me,” Tom said convincingly.
  11. “I just sharpened my axe, so beware,” Tom said cuttingly.
  12. “I’ll stop chopping wood when pigs fly,” Tom said hogchopingly.
  13. “My axe is my best friend,” Tom said axentually.
  14. “No one can beat my axecellent chopping skills,” Tom said boastfully.
  15. “I’m feeling quite axecited about this lumberjack competition,” Tom said giddily.
  16. “I think it’s time to give this tree the ax,” Tom said decisively.
  17. “I’ll handle this, I’m quite handy with an axe,” Tom said handily.
  18. “I wouldn’t axecpt any other job than lumberjack,” Tom said axtravagantly.
  19. “I’ll chop down that tree in no time,” Tom said axerobically.
  20. “I’m just a simple man with an axe and a dream,” Tom said axorably.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Axe-citing punchlines to make you laugh!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Axe. Axe who? Axe me a question and I’ll chop up a funny answer!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say Axe again?
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Can I Axe you about a different topic now?
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wood. Wood who? Wood you like to hear an Axe-cellent joke?
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hatchet. Hatchet who? Hatchet you open the door, I have an Axe to grind!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sam. Sam who? Samgria, the drink I’ll be enjoying after we finish chopping with our Axes!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Maple. Maple who? Maple-leaf your door open so I can come in and use your Axe to chop some firewood?
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tom. Tom who? Tombstone, because that’s where you’ll end up if you don’t let me borrow your Axe!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brand. Brand who? Brandy, the drink I’ll be pouring after we use our Axes to build a campfire!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice be the one to use the Axe to chop up this log?
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cole. Cole who? Coal, because you’ll need it to start the fire after we chop it up with our Axes!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Isabelle. Isabelle who? Isabelle coming back in here with my Axe when I’m done using it?
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Herb. Herb who? Herb, so sorry to bother you, but can I borrow your Axe for a bit?
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nash. Nash who? Nash out these puns with me while we chop away with our Axes!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Al. Al who? Al, is it too much to Axe for a laugh in exchange for letting you use my Axe?
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mack. Mack who? Mack-ners, because you promised to return my Axe and I’m holding you to it!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crystal. Crystal who? Crystal-clear instructions on how to hold an Axe and chop like a pro!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iris. Iris who? Iris you a question, but I’ll just Axe you instead!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive your Axe, can I borrow it for a bit?
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thyme. Thyme who? Thyme flies when you’re having fun chopping wood with your trusty Axe!

Don’t axe, just laugh: The end!

Well folks, it’s time to axe-tually wrap up this post and say goodbye. We hope these 200+ puns and jokes about axes have left you laughing and axing for more. And hey, while you’re at it, why not check out our other related pun and joke posts? After all, laughter is the best medicine… unless you’re an ax, then a good sharpening is the best medicine. Happy punning!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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