Knit Wit: 210+ Hilarious Jokes & Puns about Knitting

Welcome to our ultimate list of knitting jokes and puns! We know how much you love to get your needles clicking and your yarn tangled, so we’ve compiled the best, most clever, and positive puns about knitting just for you. These funny jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike, so grab your knitting bag and get ready to laugh until you drop a stitch. Get ready for some hilarious humor that’s guaranteed to have you in stitches (pun intended)!

Get Ready to “Unwind” with our Knitting Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!

Did you hear about the knitting competition? It was a real stitch-off!
What do you call a sheep that’s good at knitting? A wooly knitter!
Why couldn’t the grandmother finish her knitting? She kept dropping stitches!
How do you organize a knitting party? You just have to keep it all together!
Did you hear about the runaway ball of yarn? It just kept unraveling!
What’s a knitter’s favorite type of music? Aknitting rock!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knitting circle!
What do you call a knitting convention? A knit-con!
How does a knitter solve a problem? She just purls her way through it!
Why did the knitter quit her job? She just couldn’t knit it anymore!
Did you hear about the knitting store that went out of business? It couldn’t compete with the great retail yarns!
Why wasn’t the sweater ready on time? It needed a few more sleeves!
What’s a knitter’s favorite type of cookie? A toll-knit!
How do you know if someone is a serious knitter? They always have a skein of yarn on them!
Why did the knitter get arrested? She was caught stealing needles and yarn, it was a real knit-crime!
What’s a knitter’s favorite TV show? Friends… and purls!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it and knit it a scarf!
What kind of car do knitters drive? A knitroen!
Did you hear about the yarn store that started selling art supplies? It became a real masterpiece!
Why was the knitter always so calm and relaxed? She knew how to take it one stitch at a time!

Creating Hilarious Stitches: Funny Knitting One-Liner Jokes to Keep You in Stitches!

“Why did the knitter always win at poker? She always had a great hand, needles down!”
“I tried to knit a scarf, but it turned into a sweater. I guess you could say I knit one, pearl one.”
“Knitting is like yoga for the fingers. Namaste knitting!”
“Why do knitters make great detectives? They love to unravel mysteries!”
“I finally found a cure for my insomnia…knitting. Now I can’t even keep my eyes open to count stitches!”
“My friend told me she could knit a hat in 30 minutes, but I thought she was just pulling my yarn.”
“Why do knitters make the best gifts? They’re always stitch-perfect!”
“I decided to knit a sweater for my cat, but she kept hiss-ting me.”
“Knitting is like a workout. You’re just using your needles instead of dumbbells.”
“Knitting is like a rhyme, you just have to stay in stitch and not drop a line.”
“I went to a knitting class, but it was just a purl joke.”
“Why did the cat love the knitted blanket? He was always purr-fectly warm.”
“Knitting is my superpower. I can turn yarn into anything!”
“I tried to teach my dog how to knit, but he just kept getting tangled in the yarn.”
“Why did the new knitter start with a scarf? Because it was a one-skein wonder!”
“Knitting is my therapy. It keeps me from unravelling.”
“I’ve been knitting for years, but I still can’t purl-erfectly.”
“A knitter’s love is like a warm sweater. It takes time and patience, but the end result is worth it.”
“Knitting is like a puzzle, you just have to find the right piece for each row.”
“I don’t always knit, but when I do, I have a purl-fectly good time.”

Knitting got you in stitches? Check out these QnA jokes and puns!

Why did the knitter get arrested? She was caught in a purl-sting operation.
What do knitters have in common with cats? They both love to play with yarn.
How do you know when a knitter is frustrated? They start to unravel.
What do you call a knitting superhero? The Incredible Yarn Hulk.
Why did the knitter go on a diet? She wanted to decrease her needle size.
What do you call a knitting gangster? The Godmother of Purl.
Did you hear about the knitting competition? It was sew-off who could make the best scarf.
Why was the knitter always so sleepy? She kept getting wrapped up in her work.
How do you make a knitter’s day? Drop some yarn and watch them pounce.
What did the grape say when the knitter stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What’s a knitter’s favorite type of car? A Purl-ari, of course.
How do you become an expert knitter? By taking needle-vanced classes.
Why did the knitter switch to metal needles? She wanted to knit steel.
What do you call a bee that knits? A buzz-knit, of course.
How does a knitter stay in shape? By doing lots of reps with their needles.
What type of music do yarns listen to? Wrap music.
What do you call a hat-loving knitter? A beanie-weenie.
Why did the knitter go to the doctor? For their chronic clicki-knitis.
What’s a knitter’s favorite vegetable? Spin-itch, of course.
Why did the knitter get into a fight with her husband? He wouldn’t stop pulling her yarn.

Warm Up Your Day with Hilarious Knitting Quotes!

“A stitch in time saves nine, but a great yarn always saves the day.”
“A knitting needle a day keeps the doctor away (and the boredom at bay).”
“A sweater a day keeps the fashion faux pas away.”
“A tangled ball of yarn is just a challenge waiting to be conquered.”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy yarn and that’s pretty close.”
“A knitting circle is like a support group, but with better results.”
“A true friend won’t judge your knitting skills, they’ll just ask for a custom scarf.”
“Knitting: a socially acceptable excuse for binge-watching TV.”
“The best things in life are handmade with love and a few dropped stitches.”
“Life is like knitting, sometimes messy but always full of beautiful surprises.”
“Knitting: the original stress relief therapy.”
“Happiness is a warm sweater (and a cup of hot cocoa).”
“A true knitter never runs out of yarn, just new opportunities to start a project.”
“Knitting: turning string into something fabulous since [insert birth year].”
“Knitting is not a hobby, it’s a way of life.”
“A good knitter never goes anywhere without a spare ball of yarn.”
“Life is too short to wear boring sweaters.”
“A woman with a ball of yarn and a crochet hook can conquer the world.”
“Knots happen, don’t sweat it (unless they’re in your knitting, then sweat away).”
“Knitting: because murder is wrong and yarn is too expensive.”

Needle and Thread: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Knitting

Why did the knitter wear an extra sweater? Because they were feeling a little loopy.
Did you hear about the knitting competition? It was off the needles.
Do you know what happens when a yarn ball gets scared? It becomes a little knit-wit.
I asked a knitter if they could make me a hat with bunny ears. They said, “That’s not something I can just hop to.”
Knitting jokes are just yarns with a twist.
What did the knitter say when they finished their project? “I’m sew proud.”
How does a knitter keep their scarf from unraveling? They use a scarf protector.
I tried knitting a sweater for my pet fish, but it was too poro-fish-ional.
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A wooly jumper!
I told a joke about knitting needles, but it just didn’t have point.
Why did the knitter have trouble making socks? They kept getting cold feet.
What type of dance do knitters do? The Cable Turn.
Why did the knitter return their yarn? They dropped a stitch in quality.
How many knitters does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they prefer working in the dark.
I heard a rumor that some knitters like to crochet in their spare time. I guess they needed a hook to scratch that itch.
What do knitters do when they need to unwind? They knit a little something to ease their tension.
Did you hear about the knitter who opened a new store? It’s really taking off, they’ve got a lot of yarn in publicity.
Why did the knitter buy so much yarn? They couldn’t weave well enough alone.
I tried to tell a joke about knitting, but I kept purling up my punchline.
Knitting is like a superpower, you can do anything as long as you have some yarn and needles!

Get “Knotty” with These Hilarious Double Entendre Knitting Puns!

“I can knit my way out of any problem, but I may have to unravel a few things first.”
“I like my yarn like I like my men – soft and easy to handle.”
“Knitting keeps me warm…and prevents me from stabbing anyone!”
“My knitting needles are like my best friends – they always have the right stitches.”
“I’m hooked on knitting – but let’s not get knotty here.”
“Knitting is like a good mystery novel – you never know where the twists and turns will take you.”
“I may be addicted to knitting, but at least it’s a wool habit.”
“Knitting is my form of therapy – and it’s much cheaper than a shrink.”
“Some people say I have a yarn hoarding problem, but I prefer to think of it as being prepared for any crafting emergency.”
“I never drop stitches – I just have controlled accidents.”
“Knitting is my passion – and it’s also a great excuse to drink wine.”
“I may not be able to knit a marathon, but I can certainly sit and knit for hours on end.”
“I don’t always knit, but when I do, I prefer to do it with a cat in my lap.”
“Knitting is like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates – you never know what kind of stitches you’re gonna get.”
“Some people collect stamps, I collect yarn – at least my hobby is more colorful.”
“I tried doing yoga, but I kept getting tied up in my own downward dog sweater.”
“Knitting is like a dance – just with needles and yarn instead of a partner.”
“My knitting group is like the United Nations – we come from all walks of life and speak the language of yarn.”
“They say knitting is for old ladies, but have you seen some of the hipster knitting patterns out there?”
“Knitting may not make me rich, but at least I’m always in stitches.”

Knot Your Average Jokes: Recursive Puns about Knitting

Why did the yarn go to therapy? Because it was having a knitfit.
I tried to tell a joke about knitting, but it kept looping back on itself.
When is a sweater not a sweater? When it’s a purl-up.
Did you hear about the knitter who got arrested? She was charged with loom and disarray.
My friend asked me for advice on how to deal with tangled yarn. I told her to just skein control.
Why did the knitting teacher have such a big ego? Because she was always purling her own praises.
What’s a knitter’s favorite breakfast food? Criss-croissant rolls.
Did you hear about the superhero who loved to knit? Her superpower was the ability to unravel complex problems.
What’s a knitter’s favorite saying? “I’m yarn-ticipating in a big project.”
Why was the knitter feeling anxious? Because she was worried she might drop a stitch.
How do you make a slow knitting project go faster? Get someone else to do it for ewe.
What did the mother say to her unruly ball of yarn? “You’re being quite a skein.”
My friend keeps getting annoyed by her knitting needles. I told her she just needs to find the right pair, it’s all a matter of knitter-pretation.
What’s a ghost’s favorite knitting technique? Boo-merang stitching.
Why did the knitter break up with her yarn? They were just too intertwined.
What kind of music do knitters listen to while working? Knitting by Dre.
Why did the spider switch from spinning webs to knitting? He got tired of all the bugs getting caught up in his business.
What do you call a knitted scarf that keeps falling apart? A never-ending winter.
How do knitters celebrate their birthdays? With a skein-dig.
Why did the chicken start a knitting business? To hatch a plan for world domination, one stitch at a time.

Unraveling the Hilarity: Knitting Up Some Malapropisms

Purling instead of purring
Stitching instead of snitching
Wool instead of cool
Knit-picking instead of nit-picking
Yarn-est instead of earnest
Loom-inate instead of illuminate
Cast-off instead of cast-off
Sock-it to me instead of rock it to me
Cable-knit instead of cable car
Needling instead of kneeling
Skeinful instead of sinful
Thread-mill instead of treadmill
Baa-gain instead of bargain
Swatch instead of catch
Tangled instead of tangled
Crochet-cher instead of connoisseur
Bobbin’ along instead of bopping along
Ribbing instead of ripping
Sew-kay instead of okay
Knit-fit instead of hissy fit

Knit wit: Hilarious spoonerisms about knitting

Mittened Cocks (Knitted Socks)
Snit-up Sleeves (Knit-up Stitches)
Crochet Snots (Scrotchet Knots)
Stitchy Snacks (Knitting Stitches)
Woolen Swingers (Sewn Woolers)
Nitty Spring (Knitty Spin)
Yarn-y Soak (Barn-y Yoke)
Purl-Napping (Curl-Papping)
Stitchy Thumbs (Itchy Stums)
Ribbed Tootsies (Tibbed Rootsies)
Picketed Swirls (Sicket Poolers)
Tangled Mitts (Mangled Tits)
Spun Weavers (Wun Spievers)
Dripping Cast-Offs (Ripping Dast-Coffs)
Panting Needles (Nanting Peedles)
Slippery Wool (Wippely Sool)
Padded Needles (Nadded Peedles)
Loopy Knives (Koopy Nives)
Stitched Meats (Mitched Steats)
Checkerboard Knits (Beckerchoad Nitss)

Crafting Clever Knitting Tom Swifties with Spool-tacular Wordplay!

“I can’t stitch this sweater any faster,” said Tom, needling his sister.
“I just dropped a stitch,” said Tom, knitting his brow in frustration.
“My yarn is all tangled,” said Tom, feeling like he was in a knitmare.
“I thought this was supposed to be easy,” said Tom, knitting his teeth together.
“I don’t have enough wool,” said Tom, with a sheepish look.
“I finished this scarf in record time,” said Tom, with a knit-wit grin.
“I can’t believe I dropped a needle,” said Tom, knitting his forehead in confusion.
“I’m taking up knitting because I needle something to do,” said Tom, with a laugh.
“I can’t wait to show off my latest creation,” said Tom, knit as a bug in a rug.
“I’m going to knit a sweater for my cat,” said Tom, fur real.
“I have a ball of yarn for every occasion,” said Tom, with a twinkle in his eye.
“I can’t remember which stitch comes next,” said Tom, with a knitty-gritty attitude.
“I’m knitting my way through this TV marathon,” said Tom, with needles for popcorn.
“I’m so proud of my daughter, she’s become a real knit-picker,” said Tom, with a dad joke.
“I’m knitting a scarf with three different colors,” said Tom, with a tri-knit personality.
“I just knitted my way out of a bad mood,” said Tom, with a smile as warm as wool.
“I can’t decide whether to knit socks or a sweater,” said Tom, with some serious knit-spiration.
“This is the longest scarf I’ve ever knitted,” said Tom, stretching his arms out wide.
“I’m making my first ever knitted hat,” said Tom, with a hat-trick of excitement.
“I don’t know how to stop knitting,” said Tom, feeling like he’s in a never-ending knit-finity loop.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yarn. Yarn who? Yarn the reason I’m getting so many holes in my knitting?

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yarn. Yarn who? Yarn so excited to knit with you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Purl. Purl who? Purl-lease let me finish this row before you interrupt me again.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little more practice, but you’ll get the hang of it!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wool. Wool who? Wool you be my knitting partner?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cast on. Cast on who? Cast on, cast off, repeat until you have the perfect scarf.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stitch. Stitch who? Stitch and bitch, my favorite kind of knitting club.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dye. Dye who? Dye-ing to try out my new set of yarn dyes.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cable. Cable who? Cable knit sweaters are so cozy, don’t you think?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bobble. Bobble who? Bobble your way to a beautiful beanie.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gauge. Gauge who? Gauge your stitches carefully or it’ll be a knotty mess.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crochet. Crochet who? Crochet-ing brings me peace and happiness.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loop. Loop who? Loop de loop, let’s start a new project!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pattern. Pattern who? Pattern is the key to knitting success.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spool. Spool who? Spool me a yarn about your knitting adventures.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tension. Tension who? Tension is key, tighten it up for a perfect fit.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Garter. Garter who? Garter stitch is so versatile, it’s garter-be good!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scrap. Scrap who? Scrap yarn projects are my favorite way to use up leftover skeins.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rib. Rib who? Ribbing adds a nice texture to any project.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Knit one. Knit one who? Knit one, purl two, who knew knitting could be so much fun?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Needles. Needles who? Needles-ly to say, I’m addicted to knitting.

Wool you be knit-tearing from these puns?

Well, that’s a wrap folks! We hope these hilarious knitting puns had you in stitches and left you in yarn heaven. Don’t forget to check out our other side-splitting posts about puns and jokes because if laughter is the best medicine, then puns are the ultimate cure! Until next time, keep calm and keep on knitting those puns!