Laugh Your Way Through Our 210+ One-liners: The Ultimate Jokes and Puns about One!

Welcome to the best list of puns about the number one! Prepare to laugh until your sides hurt with these clever and hilarious jokes that are perfect for kids and adults alike. From funny one-liners to positive wordplay, this list is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. So without further ado, let’s dive into the world of wordplay and discover why one is truly a pun-derful number! Get ready to be number one in the humor department with these puns about one.

One in a Million: An Editor’s Picks of ‘One’ Puns & Jokes

1. Why did the one-legged man go to a club? He was hoping to find a one-legged dancer!
2. Did you hear about the one-armed fisherman? He was a reel catch!
3. Why did the one-handed man go to the second-hand store? He wanted to find a good deal on gloves!
4. What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus.
5. Why was the one-armed man sad? He couldn’t get a hand in life.
6. How does a one-handed person cut their food? With a single serving size.
7. Why did the one-armed man put his hand in a blender? He wanted to make a smoothie.
8. What’s a one-legged pirate’s favorite drink? Peg Leg Punch.
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
10. Why did the one-eyed robot fail in his math class? He couldn’t integrate using only one eye.
11. How does a one-legged chicken cross the road? It hops on its good leg!
12. What do you call a one-armed snowman? A snowball.
13. Why did the one-handed man buy a car with a manual transmission? He wanted to feel like he was driving a stick shift again.
14. What do you call a one-legged dog? A tripod.
15. Why couldn’t the one-legged man become a volleyball player? He kept getting foot faults.
16. How many one-legged men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it might take some hopping around.
17. What’s a one-armed ghost’s favorite thing to do? Haunt and wave.
18. Why did the one-handed man go to the second-hand store? He was looking for a good deal on prosthetics.
19. How do you greet a one-legged person? Hoppy to meet you!
20. Why did the one-eyed teacher wear sunglasses in class? She was teaching geometry and needed to focus on one angle.

Laugh Out Loud with These Hilarious ‘Funny One’ One-Liner Jokes

1. I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.
2. I’m reading a book on the history of glue, and I can’t seem to put it down.
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
5. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
6. Whenever I’m feeling down, I just think about the 10 little piggies who went to market.
7. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low. She couldn’t look me in the eye.
8. My friend asked if I wanted to hear a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but then I found out it was easier to use my hands.
10. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out-standing in his field.
12. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
13. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
14. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
15. Whoever invented knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize.
16. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
17. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
18. I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.
19. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one.
20. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

One-derfully Funny QnA Jokes & Puns: Laughter in ‘One’ Fell Swoop!

1. What did the number one say to the number two? You’re odd.
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was ‘one’-tired.
3. Did you hear about the rookie mathematician who couldn’t count past one? He was a ‘one’-derful failure.
4. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little ‘one’ and ‘two’ into it.
5. What did the ‘one’ say to the ‘zero’? You don’t have any value.
6. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ‘Ten’-tickles.
7. Why did the ‘one’ go to therapy? Because it had identity issues.
8. What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? ‘Dam’-it.
9. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. What does a nosy pepper do? It gets ‘jalepeno’ business.
11. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was ‘one’-wheelie bad.
12. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An ‘investi-gator’.
13. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
14. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
15. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants.
16. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
17. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
18. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
19. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

One-liners to Make You Laugh: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about ‘One’

1. One mango a day keeps the doctor away, but who needs a doctor when you have fruit?
2. One joke a day keeps the stress away, unless you’re a comedian and then it’s just your job.
3. One cupcake is a snack, but four cupcakes is a balanced breakfast.
4. One step forward, two steps back…better call an Uber.
5. One drink a day keeps the therapist at bay.
6. One is never too old for a good fart joke.
7. One man’s trash is another man’s excuse to buy more garbage bags.
8. One size fits all…except for my giant hands.
9. One bad apple spoils the bunch, but one good apple is just an overachiever.
10. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Enough said.
11. One person’s “personal space” is another person’s “sit closer so I can whisper secrets.”
12. One nap and I’ll be ready to conquer the world…or at least make it to my next coffee break.
13. One does not simply “stop at one” when it comes to Girl Scout cookies.
14. One cat is a pet, but six cats is evidence of a potential hoarding problem.
15. One more episode on Netflix turns into a 10-hour marathon without even realizing it.
16. One lost sock is just an ankle warmer for later.
17. One minute on the treadmill feels like an eternity, one minute scrolling on Instagram feels like seconds.
18. One slice of pizza can’t hurt…but the whole pie might be pushing it.
19. One person’s “artsy” is another person’s “did a toddler paint this?”
20. One mosquito in the room is one too many. Can we please just burn the house down now?

One in a Million Laugh-Out-Loud Dad Jokes about ‘One’

1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, one after the other!
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
3. I used to hate math, but then I realized one plus one equals stability.
4. What do you call an elephant that only has one eye? A one-eyed elephant!
5. Did you hear about the restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast!
8. What did one fish say to the other fish when it ran into a concrete wall? “Dam!”
9. Why did the bicycle fall down? Because it was two-tired.
10. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense!
11. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
12. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
13. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
14. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
15. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.
16. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
17. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
18. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
19. Did you hear about the kidnapping in Paris? He woke up.
20. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!

Get Ready to Laugh with These One-of-a-Kind Double Entendres Puns!

1. “I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.”
2. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
3. “Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side!”
4. “I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.”
5. “Why did the bike fall over? Because it was two-tired.”
6. “I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but I kept getting lost in the rhythm.”
7. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
8. “I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.”
9. “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.”
10. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
11. “Why was the belt arrested? For holding up pants!”
12. “Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? He woke up.”
13. “Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.”
14. “I went to a seafood disco the other night… and pulled a mussel.”
15. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.”
16. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.”
17. “Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.”
18. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
19. “I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.”
20. “I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.”

Endless Fun with Recursive Puns about ‘One’!

1. Why did the number one go on a diet? Because it wanted to be one-ton.
2. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
3. Did you hear about the new restaurant called One Bite? They only serve tapas.
4. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but they’ll need a lot of bugs.
5. Why don’t mathematicians tell jokes? Because most of them go on for one-derfully long equations.
6. Why did the number one feel lonely? Because it could never be odd or even.
7. What did the cheese say after one slice was taken? That was grately unnecessary.
8. How many sides does a circle have? None, because they’re all round!
9. What did one fish say to the other in the tank? Do you know how to drive this thing?
10. What did one hat say to the other? You go on ahead, I’ll just cap-tch up with you later.
11. How does one astronaut on the moon tell another apart? They wait one small step for a different foot.
12. Why was the number one afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine, but one was next in line.
13. What did one candle say to the other? Don’t get too lit, or we’ll both wax poetic.
14. How many managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but they’ll take all the credit for it.
15. What did one cactus say to the other cactus? Is this a prickly situation, or are you just happy to see me?
16. Why did one piece of corn say to the other? Don’t worry, I’m just trying to make you feel at home on the cob.
17. How many programmers does it take to fix a bug? One, but it’ll take at least ten more to comment on their code.
18. What did one snowman say to the other? I hear Frosty’s been chillin’ in the Bahamas.
19. Why did one chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the poultrygeist.
20. How many poets does it take to change a lightbulb? One to write about the light, and another to change the bulb before it burns out.

One-in-a-Million Malapropisms: A Hilarious Collection of Slip-Ups

1. “I’m feeling so fatigued, I think I might need to take a cat nap.”
2. “I can’t wait to read the new Stephen King novel, The Shrink.”
3. “I need to take my car to the mecha-dentist, it’s making a weird noise.”
4. “I love diet coca-cola, it’s so refreshing and guilt-free.”
5. “I can’t believe she got engaged, she must be on cloud wine.”
6. “I’m so glad I grabbed this umbrella, it’s raining cats and chairs outside.”
7. “I’m not a morning person, I’m more of a caffeine Bahama.”
8. “Can you pass me the salt and Robert Redford?”
9. “I have a fear of flying, I always request an aisle sedentary.”
10. “My boss is a real microorganism, always nitpicking at every detail.”
11. “I’m not a fan of horror movies, I prefer romantic comedies, like The Exterminator.”
12. “I’m trying to stay away from gluten, so I only eat anal crust pizza now.”
13. “I’m feeling really anxious, I think I need to take a prosciutto instead of a Xanax.”
14. “I can’t believe she’s still using a flip phone, she must be living in the Dark Ages.”
15. “I hate the smell of roses, it’s so fragrant and overbearing.”
16. “I can’t handle spicy food, my tastebuds are very week.”
17. “I don’t trust that politician, he has such a slimy discondition.”
18. “My daughter wants to be a ballerina, but I’m hoping she’ll just become a doctor or a lawyer.”
19. “I accidentally left my phone in the freezer, now it’s completely defrosted.”
20. “I can’t go to the party, I’m feeling a bit under the cloud.”

Fun with Tongue Twisting One-liners: Spoonerisms about One!

1. Won Bun
2. Done Burtle
3. Lone Sun
4. Fun Gnome
5. Shun Fun
6. Run Won
7. Hun Ton
8. Ton Hun
9. One Dunce
10. Sun Lotion
11. Drum Phone
12. Nun Zone
13. Fun Cone
14. Bun Zone
15. Ton Bone
16. Done Shingle
17. Gun Stone
18. Son Loan
19. Run Donut
20. Nun Bone

One”-derfully Pun-tastic Tom Swifties

1. “I can’t believe they charged me for that haircut,” Tom trimmed.
2. “I think I’ll have some more ice cream,” said Tom spoonfully.
3. “I just found out I won the lottery!” Tom exclaimed, winningly.
4. “Can you hand me that ruler?” Tom measured.
5. “I’m teaching a class on gardening,” Tom rooted.
6. “I’m so hungry I could eat a whole pizza,” grumbled Tom greedily.
7. “I finally learned to fly a plane,” Tom boasted, sky-high.
8. “I think I’ll go swimming in the lake,” said Tom, diving inadvisably.
9. “I’m planning a trip to Australia,” Tom downundered.
10. “I’m sorry, I accidentally deleted all your photos,” Tom apologized, erasingly.
11. “I’m going to win this race,” Tom said with conviction.
12. “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing,” Tom belched, stomachily.
13. “I’m going to take this test and pass it,” said Tom, examiningly.
14. “I’m going to order the steak,” Tom ordered, hungrily.
15. “I can’t wait to try these new shoes,” Tom footedly.
16. “I can’t find my keys anywhere,” Tom said in keysperation.
17. “I’m determined to win this game,” said Tom, competitively.
18. “I can’t believe how fast I’m running,” Tom panted, speedily.
19. “I’m on a mission to find the best pizza in town,” Tom proclaimed, pizza-questingly.
20. “I just finished reading a book about anti-gravity,” Tom exclaimed, levitatingly.

One hilarious knock-knock joke about ‘One’ that’ll have you laughing in no time!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Juan. Juan who? Juan more joke and I’m outta here!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Won. Won who? Won is the loneliest number.
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Onion. Onion who? Onion a scale of one to ten, how funny was that joke?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? None. None who? None of your beeswax!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Once. Once who? Once you hear this joke, you’ll never forget it.
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? One-liner. One-liner who? Sorry, I’m not good at knocking.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Onyx. Onyx who? Onyx-pected punchline!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Onetime. Onetime who? Onetime I tried to tell a knock-knock joke… and then I realized how hard it is.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? One-up. One-up who? Sorry, I’m just trying to one-up my joke game.
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? android. android who? Android more joke for you.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? One-way. One-way who? One-way or another, I’m gonna find ya, I’m gonna get ya!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Juanita. Juanita who? Juanita be my friend?
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oneidas. Oneidas who? Oneidas we all just got together and laughed at this joke.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Number one. Number one who? Number one fan of knock-knock jokes!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oneiric. Oneiric who? Oneiric (on Rick) and Morty is my favorite show!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Unai. Unai who? Unai kids wanna hear another joke?
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wan. Wan who? Wan more knock-knock joke, please?
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Monique. Monique who? Monique-ty Python and the Holy Grail is the funniest movie ever!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? One-two. One-two who? One-two three, let’s all laugh together!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Onerous. Onerous who? Onerous (on us) to try to come up with new knock-knock jokes all the time!

One and Done: Laughing Our Puns Off

Well folks, that wraps up our pun-tastic journey of 210+ puns about one or puns about one. I hope you got a good laugh and maybe even groaned a few times. And if you’re still in the mood for some good puns and jokes, be sure to check out our other related posts. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed. Now go forth and spread the joy of wordplay!