Get Ready to Laugh: 210+ House Jokes & Puns to Brighten Your Day!

funny House jokes with one liner clever House puns at

Welcome to the ultimate list of puns about houses! Get ready to laugh your chimney off with these clever and hilarious jokes that are perfect for kids (and adults who are still kids at heart). From roof-rolling puns to pun-derful wordplay, this list has it all. Whether you’re a homeowner or just love a good laugh, these jokes will surely brighten up your day. So without further ado, let’s take a humorous tour through the best puns about houses. Trust us, it’s door-midable!

Making You ‘House’ Pro at Livening up Any Party – Editor’s Picks!

  1. Why did the house go to therapy? It had a lot of family issues to work through.
  2. What’s a house’s favorite style of music? House music, of course!
  3. Did you hear about the haunted house that opened a restaurant? The food is to die for.
  4. What did the house say when it won the lottery? “I’m already a mansion, but now I’m rich too!”
  5. Why did the house refuse to have a glass of water? It didn’t want to get boarded up.
  6. What do you call a house without walls? Homeless.
  7. Why don’t ghosts live in houses? They prefer to haunt-tent camping.
  8. How does a house keep its energy bills low? It uses solar shingles.
  9. Did you hear about the tiny house that went on a diet? It’s looking much leaner and greener now.
  10. Why did the house want to become an astronaut? It wanted to explore outer space and become a roof star.
  11. What did the house say to the garden shed? “I roof for you, shed.”
  12. Why did the house have to go on a diet? It was getting too much junk in the attic.
  13. What did the house say after a tiring day at work? “I need a homecation.”
  14. Why was the house embarrassed at Halloween? It forgot to put its brick face on.
  15. What type of houses are the most musical? Semi-detached ones.
  16. How does a house express its emotions? Through detached garages.
  17. What kind of tea do houses drink? Real-estate tea.
  18. Why did the house cross the road? To get to the other title.
  19. What’s a house’s favorite type of workout? House-ercise.
  20. How do houses communicate? They use property lines.

Spruce Up Your Laughter with These Hilarious ‘House’ One-Liner Jokes!

  1. Why did the broom go to the doctor? Because it was sweeping funny.
  2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the construction site? They woke up with a roof over their head.
  3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
  5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  7. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
  8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low. She looked surprised.
  10. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
  11. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  12. I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but I kept getting lost in the rhythm.
  13. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
  14. My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
  15. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
  16. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
  17. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
  18. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  19. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
  20. Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!

House of Laughs: QnA Jokes & Puns to Make You Giggle

  1. Why did the house go to therapy? Because it had a lot of issues.
  2. How does a house clean its windows? With glass cleaner.
  3. Why did the house go on a diet? It wanted to shed some floorboards.
  4. What did the house say to the roof? Gablet be friends.
  5. What do you call a house that’s always moving? A nomadom.
  6. How does a house stay warm in the winter? It turns on its central heating system.
  7. Why do houses make terrible comedians? Because they always have a flat roof.
  8. How do you know if a house is shy? It has a lot of curtains.
  9. What did one house say to the other? Let’s go broomies together.
  10. Why do houses make the best detectives? They always have many windows to look through.
  11. What type of music do houses listen to? House music, of course!
  12. How does a house greet its guests? With a warm foyer hug.
  13. What did the house say when it was cold? I need to turn up the hearth.
  14. Why did the house go to the doctor? It had a case of the shingles.
  15. How does a house keep its shape? It stays in line with its foundations.
  16. Why did the house’s roof get arrested? For shingle-handedly causing chaos.
  17. How do houses communicate with each other? They use sky pylons and wifi wires.
  18. Why did the house’s kitchen always smell? Because it was full of leaky faucets.
  19. How do you catch a runaway house? With a homing beacon.
  20. What do you call a rich, fancy house? A mansionion.

Building Laughter: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about House

  1. A dirty house is a sign of a happy family…or a lazy one.
  2. Home is where the heart is…and the mortgage.
  3. A clean house is a clear conscience…until the kids come home.
  4. The best decoration for a house is laughter.
  5. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your nosy neighbors.
  6. A house is not a home without a cat…or a dog…or both.
  7. Home is where you can be yourself…or at least where no one can see you.
  8. The grass is always greener on the other side…of your perfectly manicured lawn.
  9. A rolling stone gathers no moss…but it does attract a lot of clutter.
  10. Home sweet home…until you forget to pay the heating bill.
  11. A house is not a home without a well-stocked wine rack.
  12. You can’t have a clean house and small children at the same time.
  13. Home is where you can eat ice cream for breakfast…without judgement.
  14. A house is like a puzzle…and the pieces are never where you left them.
  15. A penny saved is a penny earned…unless you’re buying home decor.
  16. You can’t make a home cooked meal without burning something.
  17. A house without books is like a body without a soul…or an empty wallet.
  18. There’s no place like home…until you run out of toilet paper.
  19. A clean house is a happy housewife’s myth.
  20. You know you’re an adult when you get excited about buying a new vacuum cleaner.

Punny Puns: Dad Jokes about the House That Will Have You ROOF-ling!

  1. Why don’t skeletons play the piano? They’re afraid of the chord-chewing monster under the keys!
  2. Did you hear about the roof that was afraid of heights? It was shingle-handedly keeping itself together!
  3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  4. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  5. Why did the house refuse to wear sunscreen? It doesn’t want to get plastered!
  6. What did the staircase say when it was having trouble balancing? I’m feeling a bit step-pressed.
  7. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
  8. Why did the window need to go to therapy? It had too many panes to deal with.
  9. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.
  10. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the theater? They woke up.
  11. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
  12. I used to play piano by ear. Now I play with my hands.
  13. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
  14. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  16. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  17. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  18. I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
  19. Why don’t eggs like telling jokes? They would crack each other up.
  20. What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine.

Housing humor: Double entendres and puns that will have you ‘house’rolling with laughter!

  1. “Looks like it’s time to clean house…and dust off my dance moves.”
  2. “I’ll be the roof to your walls and let you be the chimney sweep.”
  3. “I’m not a big fan of spiders, but I do love a good house fly.”
  4. “I may not have a white picket fence, but I’ll still give you a warm welcome.”
  5. “Don’t mind the clutter, every house needs a little chaos.”
  6. “I’ll be your handyman anytime…especially if it involves fixing leaky faucets.”
  7. “If these walls could talk, they’d probably just gossip about my terrible cooking.”
  8. “I don’t believe in ghosts, but I do believe in haunted house parties.”
  9. “Looks like we’ve got some room for improvement in this love shack.”
  10. “I’m not a hoarder, I just like to collect memories in this house.”
  11. “Sorry, but the only thing I’ll be serving in this kitchen is a case of the giggles.”
  12. “I may not have a six-pack, but I do have a six-bedroom house.”
  13. “I’m a firm believer in the saying, ‘There’s no place like home’…unless you’re off on a tropical vacation.”
  14. “I don’t always clean, but when I do, it’s because someone is coming over to see my house.”
  15. “I may have two left feet, but at least I can still do the hokey pokey in this house.”
  16. “I’ve learned to embrace my inner couch potato and just enjoy the lazy days in this house.”
  17. “Sometimes you just have to let your inner child run wild in a bounce house.”
  18. “I may be house poor, but at least I have a roof over my head and a good sense of humor.”
  19. “They say the kitchen is the heart of the home, but I think it’s really the wine cellar.”
  20. “I never want to leave this house, but if I do, at least I can come back to a warm bed and a pot of gold.”

Breaking Down the Humor: Recursive Puns about House

  1. Why did the ghost buy a smaller house? He needed a little haunt to keep things contained.
  2. The roof was feeling down, so the walls said, “chin up, we’ve got you covered”.
  3. What do you call a home for bears? A den-tal plan.
  4. The door was feeling sad, so I let it have a turn at being the entrance.
  5. Why did the house start speaking Spanish? It wanted to have casa-porción for breakfast.
  6. The chimney had an identity crisis, so it consulted a psychiatrist who said, “you seem stuck in a flue-depressing loop”.
  7. What did the house say to the vacuum? “Suck it up, buttercup”.
  8. The windows were getting married, but the curtains insisted on being the best man.
  9. Why did the house get a restraining order against the fence? It kept picketing in front of the property.
  10. The stairs were feeling under-appreciated, so I gave them a step ladder.
  11. What did the house say when three of its walls were blown away? “I’m all right, don’t worry”.
  12. The fridge was having a blast at its party, but then the ice cubes got cold feet and left early.
  13. Why was the attic jealous of the basement? It wanted to be the top of the bottom.
  14. The mailbox was feeling down, but I gave it a pep talk and now it’s feeling postal-ive.
  15. What did the kitchen say when it couldn’t handle any more dishes? “I’m sink-ing under pressure”.
  16. The living room was feeling crowded, so it asked the cushions to sofa-cate for a bit.
  17. The doorbell was feeling like an outsider, until the doormat said, “you don’t have to ring a chime, just be-turn”.
  18. Why did the walls get into a fight? They were trying to see who would be the wai-st of space.
  19. The fireplace attended a campfire and told everyone to gather a-round so they could have a hearth-to-heart.
  20. What did the house say when it caught a cold? “I’m feeling a little draft-y”.

Leave your sense of humor at the doormat: A tour of hilarious ‘House’ Malapropisms

  1. When it comes to decorating, less is bore.
  2. I always flush the toilet with extra human.
  3. My mother-in-law is a real pain in the asphalt.
  4. It’s time to take out the garbage and do some apathetic cleaning.
  5. The cabinet is full of canned hamiracles.
  6. I accidentally washed my whites with molasses instead of bleach.
  7. The sofa is so comfortable, it’s like sitting on a cloud of feathers.
  8. I can’t wait to try that new recipe for cheddarbob salad.
  9. The leaky faucet needed a new wife.
  10. My neighbor’s dog is such a rebel, he never obeys his grim reaper.
  11. The coffee table is made out of solid espresso wood.
  12. I bought a new lawn mower, it’s powered by hamsters.
  13. Our dining room is painted in a beautiful shade of accident green.
  14. I need to go grocery shopping, we’re all out of frisky os.
  15. The family room is decorated in a lovely motif of country mousetry.
  16. Don’t forget to water the flower beds with the hosepipe of destiny.
  17. This chair is made of 100% pure maple syrup.
  18. I need to replace the porch swing’s hammock straps.
  19. My favorite part of the kitchen is the walk-in fryer.
  20. The bathroom floor is made of Italian marble and fredid crab meat.

Beware of Mice in Your Spouse’s Hoarded House

  1. “Mouse House” instead of “House Mouse”
  2. “Blouse House” instead of “House Blouse”
  3. “Nose House” instead of “House Nose”
  4. “Grouse House” instead of “House Grouse”
  5. “Sass House” instead of “House Sass”
  6. “Pout House” instead of “House Pout”
  7. “Spouse House” instead of “House Spouse”
  8. “Louse House” instead of “House Louse”
  9. “Pine House” instead of “House Pine”
  10. “Bounce House” instead of “House Bounce”
  11. “Sow House” instead of “House Sow”
  12. “Treat House” instead of “House Treat”
  13. “Drowse House” instead of “House Drowse”
  14. “Crack House” instead of “House Crack”
  15. “Chow House” instead of “House Chow”
  16. “Flake House” instead of “House Flake”
  17. “Scare House” instead of “House Scare”
  18. “Chill House” instead of “House Chill”
  19. “Throne House” instead of “House Throne”
  20. “Rug House” instead of “House Rug”

Housing Tom Swifties: When It Comes to Puns, He’s the House-Master!

  1. “I can’t find the broom,” Tom sweptingly said.
  2. “Looks like we’re out of coffee,” Tom perked up.
  3. “I just can’t make up my mind about the color,” Tom painted himself into a corner.
  4. “I need to fix this leaky faucet,” Tom said drippingly.
  5. “I can’t seem to locate the light switch,” Tom felt in the dark.
  6. “This couch is too small for my liking,” Tom said with a stuffed expression.
  7. “I think it’s time to upgrade the appliances,” Tom said in a microwave-second.
  8. “I’m going to rearrange the furniture,” Tom said chairfully.
  9. “I need to hang these curtains,” Tom draped himself in fabric.
  10. “I want to build a deck in the backyard,” Tom decked with excitement.
  11. “It’s time to replace the roof,” Tom said underhandedly.
  12. “I need some help with this heavy lifting,” Tom said with a weighty tone.
  13. “I’ll just use a ladder to reach the high shelves,” Tom said with a step-by-step plan.
  14. “I don’t want to put too much on the shelves,” Tom said halfheartedly.
  15. “I think we should get a dog to protect the house,” Tom barked up the wrong tree.
  16. “I need to sweep the chimney,” Tom said with a sooty smirk.
  17. “I’ll just patch up the hole in the wall,” Tom said non-permanently.
  18. “I can’t decide on a new carpet,” Tom was floored.
  19. “We should open up the wall between the kitchen and dining room,” Tom said with an open mind.
  20. “I’ll just put a coat of paint on the front door,” Tom said with a colorful attitude.

Who’s there? House-pital! The cure for your laughter is inside!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say ‘House’?
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you help me fix this leaky ‘house’?
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Al. Al who? Al low me to enter your ‘house’?
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who’s living in this ‘house’?
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business, but this is my ‘house’ now!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ollie. Ollie who? Ollie want for Christmas is a new ‘house’!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive in this ‘house’ is gonna have a good time.
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Philippe. Philippe who? Philippe the empty rooms in this ‘house’ with furniture!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uma. Uma who? Uma gonna take responsibility for this messy ‘house’?
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wyatt. Wyatt who? Wyatt are you still living in this rundown ‘house’?
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zane. Zane who? Zane-y enough to live in this haunted ‘house’!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie see that the roof of your ‘house’ is caving in?
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lana. Lana who? Lana come inside, your ‘house’ is on fire!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nico. Nico who? Nico-vert in this ‘house’! It needs some plants.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Roscoe. Roscoe who? Roscoe-ver my ‘house’, please!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vera. Vera who? Vera glad that I’m your new ‘house’keeper?
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Xavier. Xavier who? Xavier neck is getting sore from looking at this crooked ‘house’!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys it’s not my ‘house’ that’s on fire!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jessa. Jessa who? Jessa bunch of keys to this locked ‘house’?
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Murray. Murray who? Murray Christmas from my ‘house’ to yours!

Home may be where the heart is, but these puns will steal the show!

Well folks, I hope these 210+ puns about house have given you a good laugh and perhaps even inspired some clever wordplay of your own. Remember, a good pun is like a well-built house – it may make you groan, but deep down you know it’s a solid structure. And if you’re still in need of more pun-derful content, be sure to check out our other posts on jokes and puns. Now go forth and spread the chuckles, but make sure to clean up any pun-expected messes along the way. Happy punning!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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