Get Festively Funny: 200+ Christmas Jokes & Puns!

Welcome to the most pun-tastic and humor-filled post on the internet – our list of the best Christmas jokes and puns! We’re ready to sleigh you with our clever wordplay and positive vibes, guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. These jokes are kid-friendly, so gather the little elves around and get ready for some festive fun. From Santa to snow, we’ve got a whole list of silly jokes to get you in the holiday spirit. So grab your hot cocoa and get ready to chuckle your way through the Christmas season!

funny Christmas jokes with one liner clever Christmas puns at PunnyFunny.com

Crack Up Your Christmas with these Hilarious Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

Why is Christmas the best music genre? Because it’s filled with jolly good melodies!
What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
How do you know Santa is good at karate? Because he has a black belt-o!
What’s the best Christmas present for a cat? A scratching postcard!
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
Why did Frosty the Snowman go to the doctor? He was feeling a little flaky.
What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? Ho-ho-hos!
What is the cow’s favorite Christmas song? “Moo-ey Christmas”!
How did the Christmas lights get so tangled? They had a horrible Santa-tion.
What did the snowman say to the grumpy elf? “You’re really starting to frost my cookies.”
Why is Santa so good at wrapping presents? He has a lot of practice, he’s been doing it for claus!
I was going to dress up as a Christmas tree for the holiday party, but I couldn’t find anywhere to plug in the lights.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get their hair cut on Christmas Eve? A ho-ho-ho-ho!
Why is Rudolph the fastest reindeer? Because he has Rudolphygene!
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple-apple-tree!
What does Santa like to put on his toast? Happy Jolly!
Why did the Scrooge stalk his ex-girlfriend? He was a hum-bugger!
Did you hear about the love triangle at the North Pole? It involves Santa, Mrs. Claus, and a mistletoe.
Why did the Grinch go to therapy? He had a severe case of Santaclaus-trophobia.
What do you call Santa’s little helper who works on Christmas Eve? His elf-taught worker!

Spread Holiday Cheer with These Funny Christmas One-Liner Jokes!

Why did the elf go on strike? He was tired of getting low elf-esteem.
What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
What do reindeer sing to celebrate the holiday? “Sleigh Bells Ring, Are You Listening?”
What do you call an old snowman? A puddle.
Why did Santa study music? To improve his presents.
What do you call a snowman in July? A melt-in’ dude.
How do snowmen travel? By iceberg.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
What’s an elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap music.
Why did the Grinch go to college? To improve his outlook!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frost bite.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a cow? A frosty milkshake!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.
What did Santa’s reindeer say before telling a joke? This one will sleigh you!
What do you get when you cross a snowflake with a candle? A waxing moon.
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? Nothing, it’s on the house.
What does Mrs. Claus do when Santa’s on a diet? She bakes him low-calorie cookies.
Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? He was a hot sleeper!

Unwrap the Laughter: QnA Jokes & Puns about Christmas

Q: What did Santa say when he woke up with a sore throat on Christmas morning? A: “Ho-ho-ho-achoooo!”
Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: A wrapper!
Q: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A: A cookie sheet!
Q: What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas time? A: A sad candy cane!
Q: Why did Santa get a ticket on Christmas Eve? A: He was sleigh speeding!
Q: What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in front of the fireplace? A: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A: Frosted flakes!
Q: What’s green, covered in tinsel, and goes around the house singing carols? A: Spruce Springsteen!
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? A: Frostbite!
Q: Why did Rudolph get a bad report card? A: Because he went down in history!
Q: How does Frosty the Snowman get around? A: He rides an icicle!
Q: Why was the reindeer hired to work at the bakery? A: He had a lot of dough!
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite candy? A: Jolly ranchers!
Q: What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls down the chimney? A: St. Stumbleton!
Q: What do you call an elf who runs away from Santa’s toy shop? A: Elf and safety hazard!
Q: What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite!
Q: Why can’t you trust Santa to keep a secret? A: Because he’s always “elf”-ing it slip!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A: Frostbite!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? A: Frosty paws!
Q: What’s the best Christmas present? A: A broken drum – you just can’t beat it!

Jingle Bells, Wit Prevails: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Christmas

“Christmas is like a big hug in the middle of winter.’’
”The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to prank your neighbors with fake snow.”
“Christmas calories don’t count, unless they are on your credit card statement.”
“You know it’s Christmas when your bank account goes from ‘money’ to ‘ho ho no.’”
“A Christmas tree is the only thing you can put up in your living room for a month and not get in trouble for.”
“The only present you can give yourself without feeling guilty is a nap.”
“Christmas is the only time of year when it’s socially acceptable to wear an ugly sweater.”
“All I want for Christmas is a plane ticket to a tropical island.”
“Christmas shopping is just like regular shopping, but with more glitter and higher credit card bills.”
“Tis the season to pretend to like fruitcake.”
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”
“Trying to diet during the holidays is like trying to count snowflakes in a blizzard.”
“The only thing better than getting a good present is watching someone else open a terrible present.”
“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, everyone was stressed, even the mouse.”
“Mistletoe is nature’s way of giving introverts a chance to kiss someone without actually having to speak.”
“Nothing says ‘Christmas’ like a plastic tree and a mailbox full of credit card bills.”
“It’s not officially Christmas until the cat starts attacking the wrapping paper.”
“The most realistic part of the movie ‘Elf’ was how Jack-in-the-Box played Christmas music all year long.”
“Forget the milk and cookies, leave Santa a glass of wine and some dark chocolate.”
“The best gifts can’t be wrapped, like love, laughter, and a really good holiday sale.”

Tis the season to be punny: Dad Jokes about Christmas

I asked my dad if he needed any wrapping paper. He said, “No thanks, I’m already wrapped up in Christmas spirit.” Why did the Christmas tree go to the dermatologist? It had too many pine needles! How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp but even. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine. What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses. Why did the elf go to school? To learn the elf-abets. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem. Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They always drop their needles. Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? Because he had low elf-esteem. How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumbly. Why did the Christmas cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly. Why was the Christmas turkey in the band? Because it had the drumsticks. What do you call a scared reindeer? A cariboo! What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “I don’t like Brussels sprouts!” Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired. How does a snowman get to work? By icicle. What’s Santa’s favourite sandwich? Peanut butter and jolly. Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t chicken. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker? Frosty the Doughman.

Deck the Halls with Hilarious ‘Christmas’ Double Entendres Puns!

“There’s snow business like snow business.”
“I sleighed it at the office Christmas party!”
“Tis the season to be jolly (and spike the eggnog).”
“I don’t mind being the designated Rudolph this holiday season.”
“Wanna meet me under the mistletoe for a little jingle bell rocking?”
“This time of year always puts me in a holly jolly mood.”
“I gave Santa a long wish list, but all I really want for Christmas is you.”
“Looks like someone put too much brandy in the fruitcake.”
“All I want for Christmas is brew-tiful cold beer.”
“I’m dreaming of a wine Christmas.”
“This weather is snow joke.”
“I’m dreaming of a silent night… without my in-laws.”
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear (or drinking lots of beer).”
“I’ll be ho ho home for Christmas.”
“Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? Because he wanted to see time fly!”
“Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? Because he had low elf-esteem.”
“I asked Santa for a treadmill, but I think he misunderstood and got me a cheese grater…”
“What do you call a snowman on summer vacation? A puddle.”
“Pro tip for Christmas baking: Always cream your butter and sugar, never churn it!”
“Why did the elf go to therapy? Because he had low elf-esteem and was feeling gnome-sick.”

Unwrap the Laughs: Recursive Puns about Christmas!

Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little pine.
What do you call an elf who sings songs about Santa? A carol-er.
Why did Santa go to college? To learn how to wrap gifts!
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He keeps an eye on the calendar.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
Why was Santa’s helper so good at making toys? Because he had elf-taught skills.
What do you call a snowman who loves food? A chomp-ion.
How does Santa stay in shape for Christmas? He does a lot of jingle bell-ringing.
What do you call Santa’s little helpers when they aren’t feeling well? Cranky elves.
Why did Santa’s reindeer refuse to play any reindeer games? They got bored of playing the same games every year.
How many presents can Santa fit in his sleigh? One Santa-ton.
What did Mrs. Claus say when Santa asked her to make him a sandwich? “Wrap it up for Christmas!”
Why did the Christmas ornament refuse to hang on the tree? It wanted to branch out on its own.
How does Santa’s sleigh stay shiny and new? It gets regular jolly washes.
What do you call a snowman who is always cold? A little flurried.
Why did the Christmas cookie make a great detective? He could always crumb to conclusions.
How many candy canes can fit in Santa’s sleigh? Well, that depends on how well they are stacked.
What did the Christmas present say when it was opened? “Gee, I hope you like me ‘cuz I’m not easily return-ed.”
Why did the Grinch have a big heart? He just had a lot of love to give.
How did Santa get in shape to deliver all those presents? He did lots of Ho-ho-hostretches!

Deck the Halls with Christmas Malapropisms: Ho Ho Hilarious!

“I bought a new tree for Crustacean this year.”
“Santa’s elves are really good at making sweet peat treats.”
“Don’t forget to hang up the missile-toe!”
“I love decking the halls with bowls of holly.”
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas sale.”
“Forget gingerbread houses, let’s build a gingerbread mouse!”
“Rudolph the red-nosed stranger had a very shiny nose.”
“The stockings were hung by the chimney with tar.”
“I can’t wait to open my presents under the Christmas lettuce.”
“Silent fight, holy night.”
“I hope Santa brings me some new car-pets this year.”
“All I want for Christmas is my two front teef.”
“Santa Claus is coming to bed.”
“Frosty the seaman was a jolly happy soul.”
“I heard Santa keeps his slay in Florida.”
“We’ll have a blue Christmas without Jews.”
“I can’t wait to see the Nutcracker’s sugarplum furry.”
“Grandma got run over by a reindeer trainer.”
“Jingle smells, jingle smells, jingle all the way.”
“Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow.”

Cracking Up with Crazy Christmas Spoonerisms!

“Sledding down the ‘high hill’ instead of ‘hiding hill'”
“Festive ‘kissing’ instead of ‘missing'”
“Merry ‘crunchmas’ instead of ‘Christmas lunch'”
“Reindeer ‘bobtail’ instead of ‘bobtail reindeer'”
“Jingle ‘brainers’ instead of ‘brains'”
“Ho-Ho-‘honey’ instead of ‘honey hole'”
“Santa’s ‘belly’ instead of ‘jelly belly'”
“Frosty the ‘wonderwall’ instead of ‘snowman'”
“Egg-‘noddle’ hunt instead of ‘noodle-egg hunt'”
“Christmas ‘weenie’ instead of ‘Christmas weenie'”
“Stocking full of ‘presents’ instead of ‘presence'”
“Bow-wreath instead of wreath-bow”
“Sleighing through the ‘jelly’ instead of ‘valley'”
“Holly ‘berrpets’ instead of ‘berry herbs'”
“Nutcracker ‘sugar’ instead of ‘sugarplum fairy'”
“Mistletoe ‘sisty’ instead of ‘mystery mistletoe'”
“Gingerbread ‘hights’ instead of ‘highlights'”
“Partridge in a ‘pear tree’ instead of ‘tree pear'”
“Singing ‘jolly bells’ instead of ‘bolly jells'”
“Christmas tree ‘orn’-ament instead of ‘ornament-tree'”

Santa’s pun-tastic delivery of ‘ho-ho-ho-liday’ Tom Swifties warms up our Christmas spirit

“I just found a gift under the tree,” said Tom jollily.
“I hate wrapping presents,” grumbled Tom ribbonly.
“These lights are driving me crazy,” muttered Tom twinklelessly.
“Let’s make some cookies for Santa,” suggested Tom gingerbreadly.
“The reindeer are getting restless,” observed Tom dispersively.
“I hope I get some good gifts this year,” wished Tom sleighfully.
“Is it time to open presents yet?” asked Tom impatinetly.
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,” sang Tom snowingly.
“These Christmas carols are starting to annoy me,” groaned Tom cheerlessly.
“I’m feeling stuffed after that big holiday meal,” admitted Tom turkeyfully.
“I’m really getting into the holiday spirit,” laughed Tom eggnogginly.
“I think I overdid it with the Christmas decorations,” sighed Tom garlandly.
“I can’t wait to see the look on my kids’ faces when they open their gifts,” grinned Tom presentably.
“I have a feeling this Christmas is going to be extra special,” predicted Tom mistletoefully.
“I think I ate too many candy canes,” confessed Tom peppermintly.
“Why are we putting up these lights when we could just use candles?” pondered Tom illuminatingly.
“I think I’ll leave the caroling to someone else this year,” chuckled Tom harmoniously.
“I feel like I’m on top of the world with this star on the Christmas tree,” exclaimed Tom topperfully.
“Ugh, all this wrapping paper is making a mess,” grumbled Tom giftedly.
“I think my turkey might be a little burnt,” confessed Tom roastedly.

Spread Holiday Cheer with These Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes About Christmas

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Merry. Merry who? Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow place like home for the holidays!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noel. Noel who? Noel-ody knows the trouble I’ve seen, finding presents for everyone on my list!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Claus, of course!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jingle. Jingle who? Jingle all the way!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yule. Yule who? Yule be sorry if you don’t get me a present!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rudolph. Rudolph who? Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mistletoe. Mistletoe who? Mistle-toe kiss you under the mistletoe!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chestnut. Chestnut who? Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gingerbread. Gingerbread who? Gingerbread man, run, run, run as fast as you can!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frosty. Frosty who? Frosty the snowman, with a corncob pipe and a button nose!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sleigh. Sleigh who? Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wreath. Wreath who? Wreathing is such sweet sorrow, when Christmas is over.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eggnog. Eggnog who? Eggnog that I want for Christmas is you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tinsel. Tinsel who? Tinsel, tinsel, little star, how I wonder what you are!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blizzard. Blizzard who? Blizzard outside, but warm and cozy inside for the holidays!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fruitcake. Fruitcake who? Fruitcake, fruitcake, where have you gone? I only see you around Christmas time!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chimney. Chimney who? Chimney up and see what Santa brought you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? New Year. New Year who? New year, new me – well, after I finish all these leftover Christmas sweets!

Merry wit-mas to all, puns to come!

Well folks, I hope you enjoyed this sleigh-ride through our collection of 200+ puns and jokes about Christmas. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, and these puns will definitely make you ho-ho-ho with laughter. But don’t stop here, there’s plenty more holiday humor to be had. Check out our other posts on puns and jokes, and spread the joy to your friends and family this Christmas. Merry punning!