Avocuddle Up with These 210+ Guacamole Jokes and Puns of Perfection!

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round for the best, most pun-tastic, humor-filled post you’ve ever laid your eyes on. We’ve whipped up a list of hilarious guacamole jokes that will have you laughing out loud and ready to guac and roll. These jokes are perfect for kids (or anyone with a love for avocados) and are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. So get ready for some clever and positively punny humor as we dive into our list of guacamole jokes. Let’s be-avocado humor!

The Holy ‘Guaca’-MOLY of Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Top Picks for a Good Laugh!

Why did the guacamole go on a diet? Because it didn’t want to be just a “guac” star.
What do you call a sad avocado? Melan-coly.
How do you make guacamole? Just “avo-car-do”.
Why do avocados make great nutritionists? They are always advocating for a “better spud life”.
What do you call a clumsy avocado? A “guac-unsteady”!
How do you know if an avocado is ripe? Just give it a “squ-ish”!
What did the avocado say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just went “avoc-ouch”!
How do you make guacamole for a crowd? “Avo-party” with the measurements!
What do you call an avocado that’s always happy? “A-smug-griendly”!
Why did the guacamole go to therapy? It had “avo-cado-bo” issues.
What did the chip say to the guacamole? “You’re the only “dip” for me”.
How does an avocado go to jail? It gets “avo-cuffed”.
Why did the man fall in love with his guacamole? It was “love at first “spike-racho”!”
What do you call an avocado that’s afraid of heights? A “tree-mid-ado”!
How many avocados does it take to make guacamole? Just “two-quac-a-chips” worth.
What do you call an avocado who loves to dance? “Gua-shake-mole”!
How do you know if an avocado is a good singer? It has a “guac-star-voice”!
Why are avocados the most popular fruit at parties? Because they are always the life of the “guac-ge”!
What did the avocado say to its friend who was feeling down? “Don’t be sad, always remember you’re an “avo-joy” to be around.
How does an avocado tell jokes? It “guac-kles”!

Scooping Up Laughter: Hilarious ‘Funny Guacamole’ One-Liner Jokes

Why did the avocado propose to the guacamole? Because he was A-VO-CRAZY in love!
I tried to make a joke using guacamole, but it just didn’t MASH up.
What did the guacamole say when he saw his friends get eaten? HOLY GUACAMOLE!
Why was the guacamole afraid of commitment? He didn’t want to be smushed into a relationship.
How does guacamole like to dance? With some SALSA moves!
What do you call a group of avocados playing music together? The Guaca-Band.
When life gives you avocados, make guacamole! It’s the best kind of therapy.
How do you know if someone is a true guacamole lover? They have a chip on their shoulder at all times.
Why did the avocado go to therapy? He was feeling a little avocado-cado.
What did the guacamole say when he finally got his degree? It’s about time I AVO-GRAD-UATED!
What do you call a guacamole that won’t stop talking? A GUACA-MOUTH-Y!
Why did the guacamole break up with his boyfriend? He was too much of a salad-dress.
What did the guacamole say to the tortilla chip? I’m very DIP-ressed to meet you.
How do you know if an avocado is not ripe yet? It still needs to get its PIT-ta together.
How do you make guacamole cry? Tell it that it’s not going on any chips tonight.
Why did the tomato get jealous of the avocado? Because he was always getting smashed.
What do you call a cross between a rock and an avocado? Guaca-MOLE-STONE.
Why did the guacamole have to cancel his party? He ran out of DIP-ers.
How does a guacamole commit a crime? With his AVO-criminal mind.
What do you get when you mix guacamole and a computer? A COMPUTA-MOLE.

Get your Avocado fix with these Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about Guacamole!

Why did the avocado go on a diet? Because it wanted to be called “guac-a-lean” instead of guacamole.
How do you know if an avocado is bad? When it says “holy guacamole”.
What did the avocado say to its crush? “I can’t wait to avo good time with you.”
How do you make guacamole laugh? Give it a-avo-cuddle.
Why did the avocado go to the bar? To get mashed.
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole? “You’re the only dip for me.”
What do you call an avocado that’s always late? Tardy-cado.
What do you call a depressed avocado? S-mashed.
Why did the avocado break up with its significant other? It couldn’t commit to a relationship, it was always too independent and preferred to guac alone.
What’s an avocado’s favorite type of TV show? Guac-y reality shows.
What did the avocado say when it met its match? “We’re a perfect guac-ouple.”
What do you get when you combine an avocado and a snowman? Fros-taco.
Why was the guacamole arrested? For being an accomplice in the break-in at the guac-and-roll museum.
What do you call an avocado who’s full of himself? An avo-bigot.
How do you know when an avocado is lying? Its nose grows, just like a guac-amole.
What’s an avocado’s favorite dance move? The guac-a-cha.
What did the avocado say when it got a compliment? “I’m feeling very avo-grape.”
Why did the guac-ameleon keep changing its color? To blend in with different types of tortilla chips.
What did the avocado say when it couldn’t make a decision? “I’m feeling very unavo-certain.”
How do you know if an avocado is a good listener? It has a-cha-vo-cado ear for your problems.

Scoop up some laughs with these witty proverbs about guacamole!

“A bowl of guacamole a day keeps the doctor away, but two bowls a day will keep all your worries at bay.”
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy avocados and that’s basically the same thing.”
“Don’t cry over spilled guacamole, just grab some chips and start scooping!”
“A guacamole in the hand is worth two in the fridge.”
“The guacamole doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“When life gives you avocados, make guacamole.”
“The early bird gets the avocado.”
“You can’t please everyone, but you can add extra jalapenos to the guacamole.”
“One man’s trash is another man’s guacamole ingredient.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, just add more guacamole.”
“A party without guacamole is just a meeting.”
“The best things in life are avocados.”
“Never judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a restaurant by its guacamole.”
“When life gives you limes, make guacamole.”
“Behind every successful gathering, there’s a big bowl of guacamole.”
“Happiness is a perfectly ripe avocado.”
“A day without guacamole is like a day without sunshine.”
“A good friend will bring chips, but a great friend will bring guacamole.”
“The only bad guacamole is the one that’s already gone.”
“In avo we trust.”

Spice Up Your Father’s Day with these Hilarious Dad Jokes about Guacamole!

“Why did the avocados break up? Because they couldn’t find guac-amole!”
“I asked my dad how he likes his guacamole. He said, ‘Mild like my salsa dancing.'”
“Why did the guacamole go to therapy? Because it was feeling a little smashed.”
“What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music? Guac and roll!”
“I told my dad I was making guacamole for dinner. He said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll a-cado you!'”
“Why was the avocado always so stressed? Because it was always being judged by its dip-splay.”
“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing in the guacamole bowl!”
“I asked my dad if he liked his guacamole chunky or smooth. He said, ‘As long as it makes me un poco loco!'”
“What did the avocado say to the tomato? ‘You’ve got some serious guac-king to do!'”
“I’ll never trust an avocado that can’t keep a secret… it always ends up spilling the guac!”
“Why did the buffalo wings break up with the guacamole? They told it, ‘You’re too dip-ended!'”
“What did the avocado say to the onion when it spoiled their date? ‘You’re making me guac-ed!’
“I heard the guacamole went on a diet… it’s trying to become an avo-cardiologist.”
“Why was the guacamole so confident? Because it knows its dip-tacular.”
“What do you call a sad guacamole? A little bit guac it out.”
“Why did the guacamole go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little under the weather, so it needed some m-a-vocado therapy.”
“My dad always says, ‘Why have a side dish when you can have a guacc-side!'”
“What do you call a group of avocados that are in a bad mood? A grump-cado!”
“I asked my dad if he needed help making guacamole. He said, ‘No, I’ll just wing it…or should I say avo-cado it?'”
“What do you call an avocado that’s always cold? An ice-cado!”

Smash the Party with these Guacamole-mented Double Entendres Puns!

“I don’t always eat guacamole, but when I do, it’s a holy-moly experience.”
“They say money can’t buy happiness, but $20 for a side of guac comes pretty close.”
“Avocados are like relationships – you gotta give them a little squeeze to know if they’re ripe.”
“Why did the avocado go to the gym? To get guac’d and toned.”
“Guacamole is like makeup – it may look perfect on the outside, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts.”
“I like my guacamole like I like my men – chunky and full of flavor.”
“Avocado toast? More like avo-cuddle toast, am I right?”
“What did the avocado say when it was feeling confident? ‘I’m an absolute guac-star!'”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, guac again.”
“When life gives you avocados, make guacamole – and then throw a fiesta.”
“Guacamole is the only thing I’ll risk getting avocado hand for.”
“I may not be fluent in Spanish, but I’m fluent in guac-tionary.”
“Some people believe in soulmates, but I believe in avo-mates – the perfect pairing of chips and guacamole.”
“Why did the avocado go on a blind date? To find its perfect guac-mate.”
“I don’t always make guacamole, but when I do, it’s guac-ward winning.”
“They say you should never cry over spilled milk, but I’ll cry over spilled guacamole any day.”
“Watch out, guac-wardness alert – this party just got a whole lot more awesome.”
“I have a complicated relationship with guacamole. Sometimes I just can’t seem to avo-d it.”
“Why did the avocado cross the road? To prove to the chicken that it wasn’t just for guacamole.”
“They say sharing is caring, but I’ll keep my guacamole all to myself, thank you very much.”

Avocado-ta try these hilarious recursive puns about guacamole!

Did you hear about the avocado who went on a vacation? He had guacamole every day, it was quite a ripe-tition!
Why did the guacamole refuse to dance? Because he didn’t want to avocado any awkward movements!
I told my friend not to throw away the avocado pit, but he didn’t listen. Now he’s in a pit of despair.
My guacamole likes to wear sunglasses, he’s such a dip.
The avocado couldn’t find his halve, so he said to his friend, “Guac-amole, have you seen it?”
How do you know when an avocado is afraid? When it’s guaca-shakin’!
I accidentally put too much lime juice in my guacamole and now it’s extra pitted!
The guacamole’s therapist told him he needed to start being more open and spread himself thin.
Despite all his efforts, the avocado couldn’t find true love. He was just too slippery!
My guacamole told me he was feeling down; I suggested he go on an avocado-cation.
I tried to make guacamole with my old avocados but it didn’t turn out so well. It was a real guac-and-roll disaster.
How do you make guacamole extra spicy? With a sprinkle of jalapeño business!
The avocado always kept to himself; he was quite an introve-guac.
If you don’t like spicy guacamole, you could say yucatan’t-elope from it!
Why was the avocado hiding from the police? He didn’t want to become a guac-cessory to the crime.
The guacamole was so confused, he didn’t know if he was feeling dip-ressed or chipper.
I asked the guacamole if he wanted to come over for a sleepover, he replied, “Avoca-don’t think so!”
Why did the avocado refuse to go on a date with the salty chip? Because he had guac-commitment issues.
The avocado was feeling sluggish, so he decided to take a nap. He woke up feeling a-peeling!
My friends said my guacamole was too chunky; I told them it was just extra a-vocado.

Spice Up Your Language with Guacamole Malapropisms

“I prefer my chips with extra mockumentary instead of guacamole.”
“Sorry, I can’t eat guacamole, I’m allegorical to avocados.”
“Do you have any pita bread to dip into this guacamotion?”
“I’ll have the double meow of guac on my tacos, please.”
“My doctor said I need to cut back on my alpacalories, so hold the guacamole.”
“I’ll take a side of guac and some lesson plans for the table.”
“I’ll have the guacado toast, but can you hold the abyssalmon?”
“I accidentally spilled some guac on my shirt and now it’s all irony.”
“I ordered the nachos with extra guacatrille, but hold the ice cream.”
“Do you have any gluten-free guacado options?”
“I can’t have any guacamole today, I already had my foresightening.”
“I thought this was supposed to be a gourmet restaurant, not a guac-a-moly-disappointment.”
“I made some guacoslaw, do you want to try it?”
“I’ll have the avocado sauce instead of guac, I’m watching my fingerlings.”
“I’ll try the guacatini, but can you make it skinny?”
“The guaca-nookie is my favorite dish here.”
“I don’t want any guac on my sandwich, I just had a pickle argument.”
“I could really go for a bowl of guactopus right now.”
“I’ll have the guacamole with some extra herpickle seasoning.”
“I don’t understand why people put butter on their toast when they could have guacabread instead!”

Guac-oozing Funny: Spoonerisms about Guacamole

“Mucagbole”
“Guacaworm”
“Wacamole”
“Guaclime”
“Mucolego”
“Gualacome”
“Comaguwale”
“Glamoquace”
“Macawhole”
“Camoguole”
“Gloqueama”
“Mucawagole”
“Gawamcue”
“Lucoagame”
“Quackamole”
“Gumocole”
“Colamague”
“Wamoguce”
“Coagumale”
“Lomaguace”

Guacamole-tastic Tom Swifties to Make Your Friends Guac with Laughter!

“This guacamole is absolutely smashing,” Tom said, avocadoly.
“I’ll have a side of guac with my tacos,” Tom said saucily.
“I’ve got a knack for making the best guacamole,” Tom said, dip-lomatically.
“I always add a little spice to my guacamole,” Tom said, cooling off.
“This green dip is truly divine,” Tom said, avocadivinely.
“I know the secret to perfect guacamole,” Tom said, skillfully.
“This is the most engaging guacamole I’ve ever had,” Tom said, immersively.
“I like to add a splash of lime to my guac,” Tom said, zesting things up.
“My guac is so delicious, it’s almost criminal,” Tom said, avogadroo-ly.
“You don’t need chips to enjoy guacamole,” Tom said, feeling peckish.
“I prefer my guacamole with a little kick,” Tom said, spicily.
“There’s something fishy about this guacamole,” Tom said, skeptically.
“My guac recipe is top secret,” Tom said, guardedly.
“I can’t believe it’s not butter- I mean guacamole,” Tom said, confused.
“I’ve never met a person who didn’t like my guacamole,” Tom said, unanimavocadely.
“I’m known as the guacamole expert in my friend group,” Tom said, avocationally.
“I put my heart and sole into making guacamole,” Tom said, mushily.
“This dip is giving me the guac attack,” Tom said, breathlessly.
“I’ll take my guac with a side of chips and sass,” Tom said, saucily.
“This guacamole is so good, it should be illegal,” Tom said, guacster-iously.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avocado. Avocado who? Avocado a hilarious guacamole knock-knock joke!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avocado. Avocado who? Avocadon’t you want to try some guacamole?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Guac. Guac who? Guacamole, it’s not just for dipping chips!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lime. Lime who? Lime, cilantro, and avocado make the perfect guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pepper. Pepper who? Pepper your guacamole with some extra spice!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tortilla. Tortilla who? Tortilla taste test, guacamole or salsa?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chili. Chili who? Chili out, I’m making guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Onion. Onion who? Onion I wanted was guacamole for my burrito.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tomato. Tomato who? Tomato, pepper, onion, and avocado for homemade guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Salsa. Salsa who? Salsa you later, I’m busy dipping guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mango. Mango who? Mango crazy for some guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean waiting all day for some guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cilantro. Cilantro who? Cilantro make some fresh guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fiery. Fiery who? Fiery make some spicy guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Taco. Taco who? Taco no time to talk, I need guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Queso. Queso who? Queso you want guacamole with your chips?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sour cream. Sour cream who? Sour cream and guacamole, the perfect duo.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jalapeno. Jalapeno who? Jalapeno my guacamole is the best in town.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scooper. Scooper who? Scooper than guacamole? I don’t think so!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snack. Snack who? Snack up, there’s more guacamole to be eaten.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pit. Pit who? Pit-iful if you don’t have guacamole at your party.

Guacamole: The Dip-licious Punchline King

Well guac on, my pun-loving friends! I hope you got your fill of deliciously cheesy (or should I say, avocado-y) jokes and puns about guacamole. If you’re still craving for more, be sure to check out our other pun and joke posts because they’re just as ripe for the picking. But for now, I’ll guac it and leave you to enjoy your burritos, chips, and of course, plenty of guacamole!