Get Your Giggle Fix: 200+ Computer Jokes & Puns!
Welcome to the ultimate list of computer jokes and puns! Get ready to laugh your hard drive off with these hilarious and clever jokes that are perfect for kids of all ages (including adults who are kids at heart). We’ve scoured the internet for the best computer humor and compiled them all into one epic list. So sit back, relax, and get ready to upgrade your mood with these positive and funny jokes. Trust us, these puns about computers will have you saying “Ctrl + Alt + Delightful!” Let’s dive in and have a good gigabyte!
Get ready to LOL with our top ‘Computer’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!
- Why did the computer keep sneezing? Because it had a virus!
- How do you know when a computer is in love? It goes completely data over heels!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- Why do computer programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
- What do you get when you combine a computer and a guitar? A power chord!
- I hate when my computer freezes. It’s just not cool.
- What kind of tea do web developers drink? JavaScript!
- How do you know if a webpage is married? It has a husband and a server.
- Why did the computer go to work with a fever? Because it had a byte-er infection!
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- I recently got a new job at a computer security company. They gave me a firewall.
- What did the pirate say when his computer froze? Ahoy! Me PC be stuck on the blue screen of death!
- What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell!
- I installed a new antivirus software. My computer is now protected and phew-mited of viruses!
- Why did the computer go for a swim? To get rid of its screen saver.
- Did you hear about the statistician who drowned in the ocean? He was waist-deep in thought.
- Why did the computer go to therapy? To deal with its motherboard issues.
- What did the computer say to its keyboard? You’re just my type.
- Why did the computer keep flashing its lights? It was waiting for its I-dentification to be verified.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit RAMbunctious!
Laugh out loud with these hilarious ‘Funny Computer’ one-liners!
- “Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open!”
- “I asked my computer technician friend for some help, but he just told me to try turning it off and on again. I guess you could say he’s my rebooty call.”
- “My boss told me to have a backup plan for my files. So now I have a USB drive with pictures of me at Disneyland.”
- “Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn’t get arrays.”
- “I think my mom’s computer has a spelling problem. It keeps replacing ‘me’ with ‘we’.”
- “My computer’s memory is so bad, it can’t even remember how to spell ‘RAM’.”
- “They say the internet has everything, but I can’t find my motivation to finish this project on it.”
- “I asked my computer how to fix my typing problem, and it responded with ‘keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue’.”
- “I accidentally spilled coffee on my keyboard, but it’s okay because it’s now a key-coffee-board.”
- “Deleted all the jokes from my computer because they were too lame. Now it’s just jokes on me.”
- “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
- “I told my computer to upgrade its memory, but it just told me to delete some of my memories.”
- “What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell-ightful.”
- “Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.”
- “I used to have a fear of speed-reading, but then I clicked ‘yes’ to the terms and conditions without reading them.”
- “Why was the programmer always tired? He kept burning the midnight oil.”
- “I finally found the perfect username for myself. It’s ‘password’, so I never forget it.”
- “Why did the smartphone need glasses? It couldn’t find its Contacts.”
- “Why did the computer call the police? Because it had a virus scanner.”
- “Did you hear about the computer that fell asleep on the job? It was a hard drive.”
Tech-savvy Humor: QnA Jokes & Puns about Computers That Will Make You LOL
- How does a computer greet its owner? With a hard drive.
- What did the computer say at its job interview? “I’m really good at processing information.”
- Why did the computer go to therapy? It had a bad motherboard.
- How does a computer get rid of a virus? With a USB antibiotic.
- What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell.
- What did one computer say to the other? “You’ve got a lot of RAM, but no personality.”
- What’s a computer’s favorite drink? Java.
- What do you get when you cross a computer and a cat? A mouse pad.
- How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
- What’s a computer’s favorite dance move? The hard drive shuffle.
- Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open.
- How do you fix a broken website? With a website-mender.
- What’s a computer’s favorite type of music? Disk-o.
- Why did the computer have trouble sleeping? Too many Java scripts.
- What happens when a computer gets too hot? It needs to vent.
- Why did the computer need glasses? It had a virus and couldn’t C#.
- What’s a computer’s favorite movie genre? ROM-coms.
- How do computers get rid of bugs? They use computer ant-iviruses.
- Why couldn’t the computer play chess? Because it kept saying “File not found.”
- What did the computer say when it won the game of chess? “Check, mate.”
Click, scroll, and laugh along with these funny proverbs & wise sayings about computers!
- “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.”
- “A computer expert is someone who knows everything about computers except how to turn it off and on again.”
- “A computer once saved my life, but it also ruined my social skills.”
- “A computer without Microsoft Office is like a bicycle without wheels.”
- “A computer that predicts the future is just a really good guesser.”
- “A clean desktop is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.”
- “A computer programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.”
- “A computer’s memory is like a bad relationship, you always remember the things you should forget.”
- “A computer’s work is never done, especially when you have important things to procrastinate.”
- “A computer crash can ruin your day, but a good backup can save your sanity.”
- “A computer virus is just a really advanced way of saying ‘I love you’.”
- “A computer’s keyboard and a karaoke machine have the same power, they both make you feel like a rockstar.”
- “A computer’s desktop wallpaper is like underwear, you change it every now and then to feel refreshed.”
- “A computer’s fan works twice as hard when you’re trying to download something quickly.”
- “A computer without internet is like a donut without coffee, it just doesn’t make sense.”
- “A computer’s password should be as strong as your wifi signal.”
- “A computer’s hard drive is like a black hole, it swallows everything and you can never find what you’re looking for.”
- “A computer’s mouse is both a useful tool and a source of frustration when it won’t click on what you want.”
- “A computer error message is like a doorbell, it always shows up at the most inconvenient time.”
- “A computer with too many tabs open is like a brain with too many thoughts, it’s bound to crash eventually.”
Punny Punchlines: Dad Jokes about Computer Coding
- Why couldn’t the computer get through the door? Because it had a hard drive.
- Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn’t get arrays.
- How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
- What did the keyboard say to the screen? You’re my type!
- How does a computer eat its food? With byte-sized pieces.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- What do you call a group of computer experts? A motherboard.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- What’s a computer’s favorite dance? The motherboard shuffle.
- Why was the computer feeling anxious? It had a lot of bugs running through its system.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why did the mouse go to the doctor? Because it was feeling click-ish.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why did the computer go to sleep? Because it had a hard drive.
- What’s a computer’s favorite type of music? Megahertz and gigabytes.
- Why did the developer go broke? He ran out of cache.
- How do you know if a computer is a boy or a girl? Look at its ports.
- What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell.
- Why don’t computers like to go outside? They prefer their IP address instead.
- How do you fix a broken website? With HTML glue.
“Upgrade Your Humor Game with These ‘Computer’ Double Entendres Puns-tastic Ideas!
- “I need to upgrade my computer, it’s so slow it’s practically fossilized.”
- “Did you hear about the computer that got addicted to gambling? It lost its motherboard.”
- “Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.”
- “I told my computer to stop singing in binary, it was giving me a headache.”
- “My computer has trust issues, it keeps saying ‘Warning: unsecured connection’.”
- “Why was the computer tired? Because it had a hard-drive all day.”
- “I tried to download a joke about computers, but my internet connection wouldn’t let me.”
- “I asked my computer for a new keyboard, it showed me photos of baby grand pianos.”
- “What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell-ly Parton.”
- “My computer froze while I was playing a game, I guess it wasn’t a big fan of virtual reality.”
- “I wanted to delete all the bad jokes off my computer, but they were stored in a humor folder.”
- “Why did the computer break up with its printer? They had a lot of compatibility problems.”
- “I spilled coffee on my laptop, now it’s a Macchiato-book.”
- “I asked my computer to speak French and it replied ‘Oui, oui, mon ami’ in a robotic voice.”
- “Did you hear about the computer that went on a diet? It lost a toner.”
- “Why did the computer go on strike? It wanted better working peripherals.”
- “I tried to turn on my computer and it told me ‘press any key’, I don’t see any key named ‘any’…”
- “My computer keeps telling me I have low storage, but I haven’t even gone shopping yet.”
- “Why was the computer cold? Someone left the Windows open.”
- “I bought a new monitor for my computer, but it’s just not the same without its old display.”
Crack a Code and a Smile with Recursive Puns about Computers
- Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open.
- What did the computer say when it got a virus? “I think I’ve got a bug.”
- How do computer programmers eat their breakfast? In binary code, 0s and 1s.
- I tried to make a joke about computers, but it just didn’t compute.
- Why did the computer need an umbrella? Because it had a bad case of spam.
- Why did the computer ask for a second screen? Because it was seeing double.
- I tried to write a recursive function, but it just kept running in circles.
- I gave my broken computer a hug and it finally started working. I guess you could say I gave it a motherboard repair.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a terminal illness.
- Why did the computer go to the therapist? Because it had hardware issues.
- Why did the computer go to the gym? To get more “megabytes.”
- What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell.
- Why did the cursor go to therapy? To deal with its dragging issues.
- A computer can beat me at chess, but I can beat it at kickboxing.
- Why did the computer take a break? It needed to reboot its brain.
- I tried to install Adobe, but it kept saying I needed more flash.
- Why wouldn’t the computer upgrade to Windows 10? It was afraid of change and preferred to stick with Windows 7.
- I asked my computer why it was running so slow. It replied, “I’m just a bit byte-sized.”
- Did you hear about the computer that got arrested? It was charged with hacking.
- Why did the computer feel depressed? Because it kept getting bullied by the printer.
Don’t be a ‘byte’ off more than you can chew with these hilarious ‘computer’ malapropisms!
- “I can’t find the pros on this conputer.”
- “My keyboard is acting like a cat, it keeps purring instead of typing.”
- “My computer just had a nervous breakdown and crashed.”
- “I have to defrag my spaghetti drive.”
- “My monitor is throwing a temper tantrum, it keeps flickering.”
- “I accidentally deleted all my spades instead of files.”
- “I need to update my cookie settings.”
- “My computer is speaking in tongues, I think it has a virus.”
- “The Internet must be surfing because it keeps going up and down.”
- “I spilled coffee on my mouse and now it’s clicking on its own.”
- “I guess I’ll have to use my fax machine to print this document.”
- “My computer is coughing up pop-ups like a sick bird.”
- “I think my space bar is broken, it keeps teleporting me to the end of my sentence.”
- “I accidentally clicked on the ‘buy now’ button and now I have 12 copies of the same thing.”
- “My computer is throwing a party every time I open 15 tabs at once.”
- “The Wi-Fi must be tired, it’s taking forever to load.”
- “I’ve been staring at the screen for so long, I think I’ve gone cross-eyed.”
- “I’m running low on memory, I think I need to eat more brainfood.”
- “My cursor has a mind of its own, it keeps wandering off.”
- “I can’t find the ‘any’ key on my keyboard.”
Computers Beware: Playful Spoonerisms for Tech-Savvy Wordplay
- “Pooter Cuddle” instead of “Computer Puddle”
- “Nerd Spotty” instead of “Word Spotty”
- “Silly Mouse” instead of “Milly Souse”
- “Laptop Fazer” instead of “Fat-top Laser”
- “Gaming Cougar” instead of “Caming Gougar”
- “Error Fodder” instead of “Ferror Order”
- “Tech Blurgle” instead of “Beck Thirgle”
- “Keyboard Sings” instead of “Seyboard Kings”
- “Internet Glee” instead of “Glernet Itee”
- “Virus Flop” instead of “Firus Vlop”
- “Screen Buzzer” instead of “Brine Scuzzer”
- “Software Chug” instead of “Choftware Swug”
- “Monitor Booger” instead of “Bonitor Mooger”
- “Data Poodle” instead of “Pata Doodle”
- “Cyber Slices” instead of “Siper Cryces”
- “Hard Drive Rumble” instead of “Rard Hive Humble”
- “Printer Sputters” instead of “Sinter Putters”
- “Browser Floozy” instead of “Frowser Bloozy”
- “File Whizz” instead of “Wile Fizz”
- “Mouse Warrior” instead of “Warrior Mouse”
Quickly Processing: How Tom Swifties Fix Computer Glitches
- “I can’t believe I just downloaded a virus,” he said un-antivirusly.
- “I accidentally deleted all my files,” she commented absent-mindedly.
- “I think my computer has a mind of its own,” he replied mistakenly.
- “My printer just ran out of ink,” she exclaimed blankly.
- “I’m not very good at using Excel,” he said spreadsheetingly.
- “I just upgraded to the latest operating system,” she stated tech-ily.
- “My computer crashed again,” he sighed software-ly.
- “I forgot to save my document,” she moaned document-lessly.
- “I can’t figure out this new program,” he grumbled program-matically.
- “I have no idea how to fix this error,” she admitted troubleshootingly.
- “My mouse isn’t working,” he clicked helplessly.
- “My internet is down,” she declared web-ily.
- “I can’t remember my password,” he sobbed pass-wordlessly.
- “My computer is making strange noises,” she muttered circuitously.
- “I spilled coffee on my keyboard,” he spilled spilled-ly.
- “I need to upgrade my graphics card,” she said graphically.
- “I just got a blue screen of death,” he exclaimed dead-pannedly.
- “I think I have a computer addiction,” she admitted byte-ingly.
- “I can’t believe how expensive this software is,” he said money-pennyless.
- “I have a love-hate relationship with technology,” she confessed digit-ally.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ctrl. Ctrl who? Ctrl-Alt-Delete your computer problems with these tech-savvy knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting computer. Interrupting compu- BEEP.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ctrl. Ctrl who? Ctrl-alt-delete and try again.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wifi. Wifi who? Wifi-nally, my internet is working!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cache. Cache who? Cash me if you can, I’m a computer.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Firefox. Firefox who? Firefox starter, here I come!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Binary. Binary who? 01000101 01001110 01000100 01001101 01000101 01010011 01010011 01000001 01000111 01000101 (Translation: End of message)
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hard drive. Hard drive who? Hard drive me crazy, I’m running slow.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blu-ray. Blu-ray who? Blue-screen of death, please go away.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ram. Ram who? Ram-bunctious computer, always causing trouble.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mouse. Mouse who? Mouse-t be the computer acting up again.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Printer. Printer who? Printer, I hardly know her.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Data. Data who? Data way or the highway, computer.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Java. Java who? Java-rious error occurred, please try again later.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Password. Password who? Sorry, incorrect password. Access denied.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Download. Download who? Download-ing a new computer because this one is too slow.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Microsoft. Microsoft who? Microsoft? More like Micro$oft.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bluetooth. Bluetooth who? Bluetooth outta here, computer.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Emoticon. Emoticon who? Emoticon-trol yourself, computer.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Keyboard. Keyboard who? Keyboard warrior, always typing away.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Firewall. Firewall who? Firewall tell you a joke, but it might block you.
CTRL + ALT + LAUGH: Wrapping Up Computer Puns
Well, I hope these 200+ puns and jokes about computers have given you a good laugh and perhaps even a few groans. After all, laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to dealing with those pesky technology glitches. And if you’re still craving more punny goodness, make sure to check out some of our other related posts such as ‘100 Dad Jokes that will make You LOL’ and ’50 Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes’. Trust me, they’ll have you giggling like a malfunctioning robot in no time. Stay punny, my friends!