Laugh Out Loud with These 200+ Clean [Jokes & Puns]: Guaranteed Giggles!

Attention all jokesters and pun-lovers! Are you ready for a clean, hilarious list of puns and jokes that will have your kids in stitches? Look no further, because we’ve got the best, clever and positively funny jokes for all ages. From squeaky clean humor to sparkling wit, this ultimate list of clean jokes and puns is sure to tickle your funny bone. Get ready to laugh until your belly hurts, because it’s time to dive into our collection of clean jokes and puns!

funny Clean jokes with one liner clever Clean puns at PunnyFunny.com

Spotless Laughter: Our Favorite ‘Clean’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

Why did the avocado go to the gym? To work on its avo-cardio!
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color? He had a reptile dysfunction.
What kind of shoes does a frog wear? Open toad sandals.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t seem to put it down!

Spruce Up Your Day with These ‘Funny Clean’ One-Liner Jokes That Pack a Punch!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine.
Why are cows always broke? Because farmers milk them dry.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.

Squeaky Clean QnA Jokes & Puns That Are Washed with Laughter!

Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: What did the grape say after the elephant stepped on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? A: Because it was already stuffed!
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: “Between you and me, something smells!”
Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? A: Because it was two-tired!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle finish his race? A: Because he was two-tired!
Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloos it all together!
Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: “Dam!”
Q: How do you organize a space party? A: You planet!
Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle go through the door? A: Because it was two-tired!
Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? A: Because it was two-tired!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investagator!
Q: What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A: A catastrophy!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A: Frostbite!
Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: How do you organize an outer space party? A: You planet!
Q: What did one potato chip say to the other? A: Shall we dip?
Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? A: Because he kept getting lost at C!
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper? A: Jalapeño business!

Scrub Away the Sadness with these Hilarious Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Cleanliness

“A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.”
“A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered mind…or a compulsive cleaner.”
“A clean conscience is a dirty sink.”
“Cleanliness is next to…impossible with kids.”
“A clean kitchen is the result of a clean cook…or a microwave.”
“A clean car is a sure sign of a boring owner.”
“A clean office is a sign of a person with too much free time…or none at all.”
“A clean room is like a blank canvas…waiting to be cluttered.”
“A clean diet is a dirty lie…pass the chocolate.”
“A clean record means you haven’t been caught yet.”
“A clean cut can sting…especially when it’s from scissors.”
“A clean slate is just an invitation for more mistakes.”
“A clean break ends in a broken vacuum.”
“A clean conscience and a full laundry basket don’t mix.”
“A clean shave is just a ploy for men to look younger…except for Santa.”
“A clean plate is a sign of an unsatisfying meal…pass the pizza.”
“A clean freak is just someone in denial about their clutter addiction.”
“A clean house is a luxury…but so is having a maid.”
“A clean pair of underwear is overrated…bring on the laundry day.”
“A clean room is like a distant memory…or a fairytale.”

Dad Jokes about Cleanliness: Keeping the Humor Spotless

Why did the dustpan marry the broom? Because they swept each other off their feet!
I asked my dad to help me clean the house, and he replied, “I’ll do it when I dust have time.”
What is a ghost’s favorite part of the house to clean? The spook and span room.
Did you hear about the janitor who fell into the dryer? He came out fluffed and folded!
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little antibodies!
I told my teenage son to clean his room, and he replied, “I’m allergic to dust.” My dad chimed in, “Hi Allergic, I’m Dad.”
Why is it called dusting and not just ghosting? Because when you’re done, everything disappears!
My dad always says, “Cleaning is like a walk in the park…Jurassic Park.”
How do you clean up a mess in outer space? With a vacuum-cleaner!
What do you call a lazy cleaning lady? A duster buster.
My dad loves to vacuum so much, he’s always in a power struggle with the machine.
What is a mop’s favorite dance? The swiffer slide.
I asked my dad what he wanted to do after cleaning the house, and he replied, “I have no plans, I’m just going where the broom takes me.”
Why was the mop late for work? It was stuck in traffic!
What did the sponge say to the soap? You’re looking foamy today!
How does a broom introduce itself? “Hi, I’m sweep-y, nice to meet you.”
Why is dust so bad at math? Because it always makes mistakes when counting specks.
My dad’s cleaning motto is, “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.”
What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a vacuum cleaner? A clean floor…and a lot of empty walls!
Did you hear about the cleaning lady who quit her job? She said it was just too sweeping.

Squeaky Clean and Clever: Mastering Double Entendres and Puns

“Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
“I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.”
“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
“Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.”
“I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it’s really hard to find good players.”
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.”
“I used to play piano by ear, but then I found out it’s easier to use your fingers.”
“Why don’t ants get sick? They have little anty bodies.”
“What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.”
“What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeño business.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my point of view with exaggerated hand gestures.”
“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
“Why did the belt get arrested? It held up a pair of pants.”
“My friend keeps saying ‘Cheer up man, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.’ I know he means well.”
“I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but I kept getting lost in the rhythm.”
“What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
“Why was the broom late? It overswept.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy-saving mode.”

Squeaky Clean: A Recursive Journey Through Puns About ‘Clean’

Why did the germ feel bad about breaking up with his girlfriend? He just couldn’t shake her.
What did the sponge say when he was asked if he wanted to go out for drinks? Sorry, I’m on clean-ze.
Did you hear about the vacuum cleaner that went to therapy? It was feeling a little suctional.
What do you call a janitor who loves math? A clean-er solutionist.
Why was the mop excited to go to the gym? It wanted to clean up its act.
What did the broom say when it lost all its friends? I’ll just sweep it under the rug.
Did you hear about the laundry detergent that started a new exercise routine? It’s now all detergent-ed out.
Why did the clean freak refuse to use a dirty mop? It went against their mop-tives.
Why was the dish soap arrested? It was caught loitering in the clean sink.
What did one window say to the other when they were cleaning house? I’ve got you covered.
Why did the washing machine stop working? It needed a clean break.
Did you hear about the janitor who won the lottery? He quit his job and is now a clean-air millionaire.
What did the dust bunnies say when they were kicked out of their home? This is not a clean eviction.
Why did the feather duster feel bad after being left on the counter? It was a clean disaster.
Did you hear about the scientist who invented a cleaner that also played music? It was a sweep-flow discovery.
What did the dishwasher say when it found out it was being replaced by a newer model? I can handle a clean break.
Why was the dryer feeling down? It was constantly getting the cold shoulder.
What did the cleaning products say to each other at the store? Let’s clean up shop together.
Why did the maid have trouble falling asleep? She kept thinking about all the dust-bunnies under the bed.
Did you hear about the magic broom that could talk? It always had a clean argument.

Scrubbing Away Confusion: Mastering Clean Malapropisms

“I’m feeling very absent-minded today.” (Instead of absent, which means not present, use the word absent-minded which means forgetful or preoccupied)
“Can you help me put up these decorations? I’m all thumbs.” (Instead of being clumsy, use all thumbs to mean you are inexperienced or awkward)
“I can’t believe I flunked that test, I must be a genus.” (Confusing genus, meaning a group of organisms, with genius)
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name. What’s your occupation?” (Instead of occupation, which means job, use occupation which means state of being busy or held up)
“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” (Instead of the phrase “I could eat a horse,” use the phrase “I could eat like a horse,” which means you have a big appetite)
“I just love spending time in the farmer’s mart.” (Instead of market, which is where farmers sell their goods, use mart which means a large store)
“I need to go to the dry cleaners to pick up my laundromat.” (Confusing the words dry cleaning and laundry)
“I can’t wait to see the eclair show!” (Instead of using the word eclipse, which means obscuring of one celestial body by another, use the word eclair which is a type of pastry)
“That dress is so gorgeous, it’s out of this room!” (Misusing the phrase “out of this world” to describe something that is really attractive)
“I can’t believe he was nominated for class president, he’s such a diplomat.” (Confusing diplomat, meaning a representative for a country, with a dipolama, which means a bad student)
“I don’t trust her, she’s always trying to beat around the bush.” (Instead of beat around the bush, which means to avoid the main point, use the phrase beat off the bush, meaning to search or pursue diligently)
“Can you please pass me the fancy feast?” (Mispronouncing the word faucet as fancy feast, a brand of cat food)
“I can’t find my car keys anywhere, they must have evaporated.” (Instead of levitated, which means to rise up, use the word evaporated which means to turn into vapor)
“I’m so sorry for your loss, my deepest vegetables to you.” (Instead of condolences, use the word vegetables which means plants or produce)
“I have a hard time making friends because I’m so anti-people.” (Instead of anti-social, use the phrase anti-people, meaning one who dislikes or avoids social interaction)
“I have to go to the pet doctor because my fish has a tummy-ache.” (Instead of the word veterinarian, use the word pet doctor)
“I’m not a fan of extreme sports, I prefer something more mild-stone.” (Instead of saying mild-stone, use the word mild which means gentle or moderate)
“You better watch your semantics, mister.” (Confusing the words semantics, which means the meaning or interpretation of words, with the word manners)
“I can’t wait to retire and move to a calm and quite neighborhood.” (Instead of quiet, use quite, meaning to a great extent or fairly)
“I don’t understand how anyone can think cats are afraid of mice, it’s just a old wives’ tale.” (Instead of old wives’ tale, use the phrase old husband’s tale which means a fanciful or untrue story)

Keeping Things Tidy with Cunning Spoonerisms about Clean

Lean Clown
Squeaky Mean
Green Clove
Dean Clone
Beam Queen
Seen Clean
Peen Screen
Clean Magazine
Bream Clean
Mean Bling
Teen Queen
Dream Queen
Cream Bean
Ceen Lean
Gleam Scene
Jeans Cream
Quean Dean
Lean Pod
Meme Seem
Weed Clean

Spotlessly Hilarious: Clean Tom Swifties That Will Leave You Chuckling

“I can’t believe I just broke my pencil,” said Tom bluntly.
“I won the race by a hair,” said Tom headfirst.
“I love doing the dishes,” said Tom dishonorably.
“I can’t find my wallet,” said Tom emptily.
“I can’t find my socks,” said Tom socklessly.
“I just finished reading Moby Dick,” said Tom whale-fully.
“I have a craving for chocolate,” said Tom sweetly.
“I wish I had a pet turtle,” said Tom shell-shocked.
“I hate getting splinters,” said Tom woefully.
“I’m allergic to gluten,” said Tom breadless.
“My boss gave me a raise,” said Tom overjoyed.
“I can’t wait to go camping,” said Tom in-tents.
“I forgot to thaw the meat for dinner,” said Tom coldly.
“I don’t understand fractions,” said Tom partially.
“I just finished my taxes,” said Tom perfectly.
“I’m going to take a nap,” said Tom dreamily.
“I can’t believe I lost my keys again,” said Tom forgetfully.
“I have a fear of spiders,” said Tom arachnophobically.
“I just learned how to ride a unicycle,” said Tom one-tiredly.
“I’m going to start eating healthier,” said Tom fruitfully.

Clean up your day with these hilarious knock-knock jokes

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your room, it’s a disaster!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean up, it’s time for dinner!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your mouth, you have spinach in your teeth!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean jokes are the best, aren’t they?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean up your act, kiddo.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your hands before you touch anything else!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean up your language, please.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your plate, there are starving kids in Africa.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your glasses, your vision is blurry.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your inbox, it’s overflowing with emails!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your desk, it’s a mess.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean up on aisle 9, you spilled your drink!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean out your closet, it’s overflowing with clothes.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your room, it smells like dirty socks!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your car, it’s a disaster inside.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your shoes before coming inside, they’re muddy.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your room, I can’t even walk in there!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your room, it’s a fire hazard!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your phone screen, it’s full of fingerprints.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clean. Clean who? Clean your act up before Grandma gets here.

Ending on a pun-tastic clean note!

And that’s a wrap, folks! We hope these clean and hilarious puns and jokes have left you smiling and laughing. If you’re still craving for more wordplay and silliness, be sure to check out our other posts on puns and jokes. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so keep laughing and stay clean!