Laugh Your Way Through College: 200+ Jokes & Puns!

funny College jokes with one liner clever College puns at PunnyFunny.com

Welcome to our list of best puns and jokes about college! Whether you’re a parent looking for some humor to share with your kids or a college student in need of a good laugh, we’ve got you covered. Get ready for some clever and positive humor that is bound to make you chuckle. From dorm life to finals week, this list is sure to bring a smile to your face. So sit back, relax, and get ready to add some laughter to your day!

Get a Degree in Laughter with These ‘College’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

  1. Why did the college student major in biology? Because he couldn’t stomach any more calculus!
  2. I tried to study for my chemistry exam, but I couldn’t react well under pressure.
  3. What did the psychology major say when asked about his career goals? “I can’t really read my own mind, so how can I read others’?”
  4. Why did the college student take a nap before each exam? It was his “resting time period”.
  5. How many college students does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’re too busy partying!
  6. Why couldn’t the physics major break up with his girlfriend? They had too much potential.
  7. What did the college athlete say when he failed a class? “Well, I guess my grades didn’t make the cut.”
  8. Did you hear about the drama major who was always late to class? He couldn’t find his curtain call.
  9. Why was the art student always so tired? Because he stayed up drawing all night.
  10. I was going to major in philosophy, but then I realized I didn’t have enough money for that degree of thought.
  11. Did you hear about the science major who accidentally drank a beaker of chemicals? He went through an acid trip.
  12. Why did the English major go broke? He spent all his money on books.
  13. How do you know when a history major is lying? When their lips are moving.
  14. Did you hear about the business major who was always getting lost? He never had a sense of direction-s.
  15. Why did the math major refuse to go to the beach? He was afraid of getting tan lines.
  16. What did the sociology major say when asked about the current social climate? “I think it’s pretty diverse.”
  17. Why did the engineering student always wear sandals? Because he couldn’t find a pair of flip-flops.
  18. Did you hear about the geography major who was always confused? He couldn’t find his way out of a paper map.
  19. What did the music major say when asked why he couldn’t afford a snack? “Sorry, I’m always flat broke.”
  20. Why was the computer science student always getting in trouble? He kept downloading illegal software.

Passing with flying colors and sarcastic quips: Funny College One-Liner Jokes

  1. “I told my professor I wanted to be an English major, he just told me to stop wasting his thyme.”
  2. “Why did the biology major fail the test? Because he couldn’t find the right plant cells.”
  3. “I asked my math teacher if I could use my phone on the exam and she said ‘no, you’ll need to phone a friend for that one’.”
  4. “Why did the computer science major graduate early? Because he binary passed.”
  5. “Why was the archaeology major always late to class? Because he was caught up in the past.”
  6. “I’m majoring in astrology, but I can’t seem to find my future.”
  7. “I’m studying horticulture, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to grow into the job.”
  8. “I wanted to major in philosophy, but I couldn’t come up with a good argument for it.”
  9. “Why did the history major get a D on his essay? He didn’t C it coming.”
  10. “I told the chemistry major I had an ion him… but it turns out it was just a covalent bond.”
  11. “I studied art history, now I’m just a brush with greatness.”
  12. “Why did the biology professor cancel class? He needed to go to his root canal appointment.”
  13. “I majored in psychology, but I keep having an identity crisis.”
  14. “I asked my economics professor for a raise and he said it was supply and demand… I guess I’ll just have to demand more supply.”
  15. “I was going to major in geology, but I didn’t want to take things for granite.”
  16. “Why did the music major go to the fire extinguisher? Because he heard someone say there was a chance of flamenco.”
  17. “I told my philosophy professor that I was having an existential crisis and he just told me to get a life.”
  18. “I wanted to be an archaeologist, but my dad told me it would be a sham.”
  19. “Why was the history major constantly stressed? Too many deadlines.”
  20. “I told my psychology professor I was going to write a paper on introverts, but I decided to keep it to myself.”

Campus Comedy: QnA Jokes & Puns about College Life

  1. Q: Why did the math major go to college? A: To solve his problems!
  2. Q: What do you call someone who majors in theater and finance? A: A drama-titian!
  3. Q: Why did the biology major switch to art history? A: To study the evolution of brush strokes.
  4. Q: Why did the music major choose to live on campus? A: Because he couldn’t afford a flat.
  5. Q: What do you call a college student who only eats sandwiches? A: A sub-stitute.
  6. Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything.
  7. Q: How many college students does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and discuss the job market.
  8. Q: What’s the difference between a philosophy major and a large pizza? A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
  9. Q: Why did the English major fail his literature class? A: He couldn’t comprehend epic poetry, it was too Milton.
  10. Q: What subject do ghosts major in? A: History – they’re already good at haunting.
  11. Q: What’s a college student’s favorite type of exercise? A: Critical thinking – they’re always exercising their brains.
  12. Q: Why don’t college students trust atoms? A: They make up everything, including exams.
  13. Q: What did the librarian say when the books were out of order? A: I can hardly contain my shelf!
  14. Q: Why don’t math majors go to parties? A: They don’t like to deal with imaginary numbers.
  15. Q: How did the biochemist cure his bad breath? A: He used mints!
  16. Q: What do you call a group of college students watching Netflix? A: A procrastination station.
  17. Q: Why was the computer science major bad at football? A: He was always inputting, never outputting.
  18. Q: What’s a dentist’s favorite subject in college? A: Calculus – they love finding the root of the problem.
  19. Q: How do you spot a college student at a party? A: They’re the ones studying their drinks.
  20. Q: How does a physicist stay in shape? A: By constantly running experiments.

Getting an education is important, but so is learning how to survive ‘College’ without going broke.

  1. “The early bird gets the worm, but the early college student gets the good parking spot.”
  2. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a beer a day keeps the stress of college away.”
  3. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…but maybe consider a different major.”
  4. “A penny saved is a penny earned, but a penny borrowed from your roommate is a penny saved.”
  5. “A watched pot never boils, but an ignored textbook sure does.”
  6. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your procrastination habit.”
  7. “Actions speak louder than words, unless those actions are taking a nap in the library.”
  8. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and spike it with vodka to celebrate finishing your finals.”
  9. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and a journey to graduation begins with registering for classes.”
  10. “Practice makes perfect, but so does having your mom do your laundry.”
  11. “Time is money, so stop wasting both watching Netflix and go study.”
  12. “The pen is mightier than the sword, but a laptop is mightier than a pen when it comes to taking notes in class.”
  13. “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, especially when those plans involve studying for an exam.”
  14. “It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a dining hall to feed a college student.”
  15. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and studying abroad makes the bank account grow emptier.”
  16. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, but all play and no work makes Jack drop out of college.”
  17. “When in doubt, Google it…except for on exams.”
  18. “Honesty is the best policy, unless your roommate asks how their new haircut looks.”
  19. “If you want something done right, do it yourself…unless it’s group project time.”
  20. “College is the best time of your life, unless you have student loans to pay off.”

Putting the ‘punny’ in ‘college humor’: Dad Jokes about College

  1. Why did the college student major in astronomy? Because they couldn’t afford to buy a telescope.
  2. How did the university dean describe his job? He said it was quite a “testy” situation.
  3. Why don’t skeletons go to college? They prefer to stay in their “humerus”.
  4. What do you call a bear that’s a student? A “graduate -bear”!
  5. Why did the computer take a college course? It needed more “byte”-sized education.
  6. What do you call a university that only accepts plants? An “ivy league” school!
  7. What did the college professor say when his students couldn’t stay awake during his lecture? “I’m struggling to keep this class plant-ed!”
  8. How did the math major ask someone out on a date? “I find you very ‘a-math-zing’, can I get your number?”
  9. Why was the college football coach always yelling at his players? He was just trying to ‘touchdown’ their lives!
  10. What do you call a group of caffeine addicted college students? A “perk-olating” bunch.
  11. Did you hear about the philosophy major who got stuck in a tree? He couldn’t decide whether or not to climb down!
  12. Why did the college student study in the park? It was a great place to “leaf” through their notes.
  13. What did one college student say to the other during finals week? “I’m ‘exams’-ted, can we just go home and ‘porcrastinate’?”
  14. Why is chemistry the toughest class in college? Because you have to “mole-ecule”!
  15. Did you hear about the party at the math department? They really knew how to “divide”!
  16. Why did the cow decide to go to college? She wanted to earn a “moo-de-gree”!
  17. What did one government major say to the other? “Let’s “debate” this decision over coffee.”
  18. Why did the college student have to drop their elective class? They couldn’t handle the “drama-tic arts”!
  19. What did the English major say when someone asked them what they wanted to do after college? “I’m still “pund-e-cided”!
  20. Why did the college student decide to become an archeologist? They wanted to “dig” deep into their studies.

Get a higher education with these college puns – they’re double the fun!

  1. “What do you call a sleep-deprived college student? A walking zombie!”
  2. “Did you hear about the math major who switched to psychology? They wanted to study equations of the heart.”
  3. “Why did the English major fail their cooking class? They kept dropping their semicolons instead of batter.”
  4. “I tried to make a joke about chemistry class, but I got no reaction.”
  5. “What do you call a pre-med student who can’t draw? A doctor with bad handwriting.”
  6. “Why did the history major fail their poetry class? They were too busy studying past tense.”
  7. “Why did the college student take their laundry to the zoo? They heard the washers and dryers were all gorilla-sized.”
  8. “Why did the biology major have such a good time at the party? They brought their own DNA.”
  9. “What do you call a philosophy major who dropped out of college? A skeptic.”
  10. “Why did the sociology major refuse to go on a road trip? They were afraid of getting stuck in a social construct.”
  11. “How do you know when a communications major is lying? Their lips are moving.”
  12. “What do you call a business major who can’t swim? A sinking economy.”
  13. “Why was the psychology major always late to class? They were constantly analyzing the concept of time.”
  14. “What do you call a computer science major who’s also an artist? A pixel painter.”
  15. “Why did the music major switch to physics? They wanted to learn about sound waves.”
  16. “What’s the best pick-up line for an art history major? ‘You must be an archeologist, because I’ve been digging you for years.'”
  17. “Why did the environmental studies major drop out of college? They wanted to reduce their carbon footprint.”
  18. “What’s the worst subject for a theater major? Mimed math.”
  19. “Why did the engineering major go to the gym? They needed to work on their shoulder muscles for all the weight of their textbooks.”
  20. “What’s the best major for an aspiring magician? Prestidigitation.”

Get Schooled in Laughter with Recursive Puns about College

  1. Did you hear about the college that only accepted students studying mathematics? They were very selective – they only wanted the best students to be part of their “calculus elite”.
  2. I went to the art college, but it was full of stuck-up students. It was almost like a “paint-in-the-ass”.
  3. My friend wants to go to college, but he’s kind of a slacker. I told him he could always join the “pro-cast-ination club”.
  4. The philosophy major graduated with top honors – they even wore a “cap-i-ty” on their head.
  5. I majored in business, but sometimes I feel like it’s really just a “cheque-out” degree.
  6. My friend went to college to study psychology, but ended up becoming a “shrink-in-training”.
  7. The college literature club is really just a bunch of “bookworms” trying to outsmart each other.
  8. I was going to join the debate team, but I decided it wasn’t worth the “level of arg-you-ment”.
  9. The music major spent hours practicing every day, they were completely “string-ing themselves along”.
  10. My roommate is studying biology and wants to be a doctor, but I think they’ve just got a “medicine mania”.
  11. I majored in fashion design, but it was really just “sew-sew-sew” for me.
  12. The computer science club had a potluck, but someone forgot the password for the “gooey-cheese network”.
  13. The pre-law society has a motto: “You can’t barrister your way to the top.”
  14. I joined the engineering club, but it was all just a bit “nuts-and-bolts” for my liking.
  15. My roommate is studying psychology, but sometimes they just seem like a “mind-bender” to me.
  16. I thought about joining the campus newspaper, but I didn’t want to get caught up in all the “ink-commercial” drama.
  17. The environmental club has some members who take things a little too seriously – they’re practically “planet-nuts”.
  18. I was going to be a chemistry major, but I didn’t want to end up in a “lab-dooratory” all day.
  19. The education department is full of teachers’ pets – they’re the “teachers’ teachy-teachy community”.
  20. I was going to apply for a college scholarship, but then I realized it was just a “past-pay-mint” scheme.

Adding Laughs to your College Language: Exploring the World of College Malapropisms

  1. Instead of “alumni,” saying “alimony”
  2. Instead of “extracurricular activities,” saying “inappropriate activities”
  3. Instead of “admission,” saying “omission”
  4. Instead of “major,” saying “mayor”
  5. Instead of “syllabus,” saying “cymbals”
  6. Instead of “graduation,” saying “collaboration”
  7. Instead of “tuition,” saying “intuition”
  8. Instead of “campus,” saying “campfire”
  9. Instead of “professor,” saying “confessor”
  10. Instead of “credits,” saying “carrots”
  11. Instead of “dormitory,” saying “dementia”
  12. Instead of “scholarship,” saying “scare-ship”
  13. Instead of “plagiarism,” saying “play-giarism”
  14. Instead of “thesis,” saying “feces”
  15. Instead of “concentration,” saying “constipation”
  16. Instead of “lecture,” saying “electrocute”
  17. Instead of “dean,” saying “dane”
  18. Instead of “faculty,” saying “fertility”
  19. Instead of “textbook,” saying “text message”
  20. Instead of “study abroad,” saying “sleep abroad”

Cleverly Comedic College Spoonerisms: Hilarious Wordplay on Campus Life

  1. “Totally broke” instead of “bottled Coke”
  2. “Fleeing Burton” instead of “burly feet”
  3. “Quad grunge” instead of “grad quonk”
  4. “Mound spray” instead of “sound of rain”
  5. “Married suns” instead of “starry nights”
  6. “Gaming rug” instead of “raging gum”
  7. “Chill gills” instead of “gill chills”
  8. “Smart farts” instead of “fart smarts”
  9. “Hazy dorms” instead of “crazy storms”
  10. “Brain fart” instead of “fane brart”
  11. “Sweat pants” instead of “pet swans”
  12. “Book worm” instead of “wok berm”
  13. “Study nook” instead of “nudy stook”
  14. “Brew coffee” instead of “crew boffee”
  15. “Test anxiety” instead of “anxietest”
  16. “Party class” instead of “cardy pass”
  17. “Campus map” instead of “mampus cap”
  18. “Lecture hall” instead of “hetcher lall”
  19. “Sorority lite” instead of “light sorority”
  20. “College humor” instead of “hollage cumer”

Skipping Classes? Not Tom Swifties in College!

  1. “I can’t wait for college,” he said jokingly.
  2. “I can’t believe I failed my math exam,” she said calculatingly.
  3. “I have to study all night for this test,” he said sleepily.
  4. “I can’t believe I got into my dream school,” she said academically.
  5. “I’m so broke, I might have to drop out,” he said financially.
  6. “I’m going to pass this class with flying colors,” she said artistically.
  7. “I’ll never make it through finals week,” he said critically.
  8. “I’m definitely not ready for graduation,” she said unpreparedly.
  9. “I wish I could just major in napping,” he said lazily.
  10. “I’m done with all my assignments,” she said finally.
  11. “I always get stuck with the worst dorm roommates,” he said cynically.
  12. “I’m going to party every night in college,” she said foolishly.
  13. “I don’t think I’ll ever use this degree in real life,” he said practically.
  14. “I can’t believe I have to write another essay,” she said pensively.
  15. “I’m going to gain the freshman 15 in the first month,” he said jokingly.
  16. “I can’t handle another all-nighter,” she said exasperatedly.
  17. “I’ll never make it to my 8am class on time,” he said sleepily.
  18. “I’m going to join every club on campus,” she said eagerly.
  19. “I forgot my textbook again,” he said forgetfully.
  20. “I can’t believe how much tuition costs,” she said expensively.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? The Freshman Class at College – Prepare to Laugh!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad you chose a good college?
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cerealiously, did you hear about that Ivy League school?
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? S-P-E-L-L out which college you’re going to, so I know not to apply there.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opportunity. Opportunity who? Opportunity knocks, but you have to pay for tuition.
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dormitory. Dormitory who? Dormitory have any more room for my textbooks, they’re taking over my room!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bursar. Bursar who? Bursar I misspelled a word on my tuition check, can I have a redo?
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Math. Math who? Math you’ll need to graduate with a good GPA.
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Campus. Campus who? Campus mind if I take a shortcut through the quad?
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Essay. Essay who? Essays are like puzzles, but instead of a prize, you get a grade.
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tuition. Tuition who? Tuition fees are no joke, gotta make sure that degree is worth it.
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Senior. Senior who? Senior year is no joke, but at least it’s the final lap.
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lecture. Lecture who? Lecture no one showed up for your 8 am class again.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Online. Online who? Online classes sounded great until I realized it’s still school.
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Midterm. Midterm who? Midterms make me want to stay in bed all day and binge watch Netflix.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Financial Aid. Financial Aid who? Financial Aid I ever get, the more I have to pay back.
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dean. Dean who? Dean’t think I’ll ever have fun again at this rate.
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? SAT. SAT who? SAT exams always give me anxiety.
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sorority. Sorority who? Sorority recruitment is the ultimate test of popularity.
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Library. Library who? Library, can you please have a book that’s actually interesting?
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Graduation. Graduation who? Graduation, the day we finally get to say goodbye to all-nighters and assignments!

Graduation: where jokes and degrees collide!

Well, folks, it looks like we’ve reached the end of this pun-tastic post about college humor. We hope we’ve managed to make you laugh (or at least crack a smile) with our 200+ puns and jokes. But don’t worry, the laughter doesn’t have to stop here! There’s plenty more puns and jokes waiting for you in our other related posts. So go ahead and give them a read, because as they say, laughter is the best medicine, especially during college exams. Keep punning and keep smiling, folks!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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