210+ Pens? More Like 210+ Puns! Hilarious Jokes About Your Favorite Writing Utensil

funny Pen jokes with one liner clever Pen puns at PunnyFunny.com

Welcome to the ultimate list of the best pen jokes and puns about pens. Are you ready to laugh until your sides hurt? Get ready for some clever and positive humor that will have both kids and adults in stitches. These funny jokes are sure to make you appreciate the humble pen in a whole new way. So grab your favorite writing utensil and get ready to ink-joy this hilarious list!

Skip the Writer’s Block and Laugh with Our ‘Pen’tastic Picks!

  1. What do you call a pen that’s always on a diet? A ballpoint slim!
  2. Why did the pen go to therapy? It had a lot of ink-sues!
  3. How do you know when a pen is nervous? It’s always clicking!
  4. What do you call a lazy pen? Ink-tive!
  5. Why do pens make great comedians? They always have a good punchline!
  6. Did you hear about the pen that was arrested? It was charged with writing checks it couldn’t cash!
  7. How does a pen get around town? It writes the bus!
  8. Why did the pen go to jail? It was guilty of writing graffiti!
  9. What’s a pen’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop doodle!
  10. Why did the pen get a job at the circus? It wanted to be a juggling pen!
  11. How does a pen introduce itself? “Hi, I’m Write-y!”
  12. What do you call a pen that’s always telling jokes? A comedian-pen!
  13. Why was the pen afraid of heights? It was afraid of getting ink-lined!
  14. What does a pen use to make phone calls? A calli-graphic!
  15. Why did the pen go to college? It wanted to get its Bic-helor’s degree!
  16. How does a pen apologize? By saying “I’m sorry if I caused any ink-onvenience!”
  17. What do you call a pen that can’t write? Scribble-illiterate!
  18. Why are pens always happy? They get to ink-joy life every day!
  19. How do pens keep in touch with each other? Through the pen-pal system!
  20. What’s a pen’s favorite movie? The Shaw-shank Redemption (because it has a lot of pen scenes)!

Get ready to ‘write’ yourself silly with these funny ‘pen’demic jokes!

  1. I accidentally swallowed some ink, and now my doctor says I have a black sense of humor.
  2. I tried writing my jokes with a pen, but they just didn’t have the same click.
  3. The inventor of the pencil always wanted to make something more permanent. He truly had a ‘pen’chant for perfection.
  4. Writing with a pen is like a workout for the hand. It’s my inky-ercise routine.
  5. When the teacher asked for a ‘pen’dulum example, I just handed her a writing utensil. She didn’t find it as amusing as I did.
  6. I used to be addicted to writing with a pen, but I gave it up cold ‘turkey’.
  7. I don’t trust stairs, they’re always ‘pen’ding something.
  8. Every time I try to write with my left hand, it just comes out ‘pen’t-up.
  9. My friend said he could lift a car with just a pen, but I think he was trying to ‘pen’d a joke.
  10. I refuse to write with a pencil, it’s just too ‘eraser’-y.
  11. I always keep a pen in my pocket, just in ‘case’ I need to take notes.
  12. My handwriting is so bad, it has its own ‘pen’manship.
  13. I told my boss I needed more ‘paper’ and she handed me a stack of blank sheets. I guess she didn’t get my ‘pen’ment request.
  14. Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write in pen so it stays on longer.
  15. I was going to write a book about a pen, but it just didn’t have a strong enough ‘pen’ding.
  16. My favorite exercise equipment is a pen-cil sharpener. It really tones my lead muscles.
  17. I asked my boss if I could work from home, and he said it was a ‘pen’ding issue.
  18. I never use a pen with a cap, it’s such a ‘pen’ance to keep track of it.
  19. My doctor told me to limit my screen time, so now I spend most of my day writing with a pen. I guess I really am ‘pen’sive.
  20. Sometimes I like to write with a fancy fountain pen, just for the ‘pen’ache.

Get Ready to ‘Write’ with These QnA Jokes & Puns about Pens

  1. Q: Why did the pen get a speeding ticket? A: Because it was writing so fast on paper!
  2. Q: What did the pen say to the pencil sharpener? A: Stop getting so sharp, you’re making me look bad!
  3. Q: Where do pens go for vacation? A: Pen-sylvania!
  4. Q: Why did the pen go to therapy? A: It had a lot of ink-cient thoughts.
  5. Q: Why did the pen feel lonely? A: Because it could never make pencil friends!
  6. Q: How does a pen introduce itself? A: “Hi, I’m write here!”
  7. Q: What do you call a pen that doesn’t work? A: Pointless.
  8. Q: Why did the pen refuse to go to school? A: It felt like it was in homeschooling.
  9. Q: What did the pen say to the eraser? A: You rub me the wrong way!
  10. Q: Why did the pen break up with the pencil? A: They just couldn’t click.
  11. Q: What did the pen say to the paper? A: I dot on you.
  12. Q: Why was the pen running around the desk? A: It was trying to find a point.
  13. Q: How do you make a pen laugh? A: Just tickle its fancy!
  14. Q: Why did the pen cross the road? A: To get to the write side.
  15. Q: What did the pen say when it fell down? A: Oops, I made a typo!
  16. Q: How does a pen apologize? A: With a heartfelt “ink-stead.”
  17. Q: Why was the pen especially nervous around pencils? A: It was afraid of getting lead on.
  18. Q: Why did the pen get a job as a spy? A: Because it was good at hiding in plain ink.
  19. Q: What did the pen say to its cap? A: You’re always going somewhere…but never getting anywhere.
  20. Q: Why did the pen feel like it was in prison? A: Because it was always behind bars.

Pen: The Mighty Weapon of Words – Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings

  1. A pen in the hand is worth two in the drawer, but a pencil in the ear can lead to some funny writing.
  2. A bad pen is like a bad date, it’ll leave a terrible impression.
  3. A pen that runs out of ink is like a joke without a punchline, it falls flat.
  4. A pen and paper are like a duo in stand-up comedy, they need each other to make it work.
  5. A broken pen is like an expired passport – it ain’t taking you nowhere.
  6. A writer without a pen is like a comedian without a mic, invisible.
  7. A wise man once said, “The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if it’s loaded with ink.”
  8. It’s better to have a pen you can’t use than not have a pen at all – said no one ever.
  9. The beauty of a pen is that it can cross out mistakes, unlike permanent markers that are stuck with their decisions.
  10. Writing with a pen is like riding a rollercoaster, there will be ups and downs but it’s all part of the fun.
  11. A pen’s greatest fear is being mistaken for a pencil – their arch-nemesis.
  12. The secret to good handwriting? A comfortable pen grip and minimal caffeine intake.
  13. A pen is like a treasure map, it leads your words to the page.
  14. A pen without a cap is like a secret identity exposed – havoc ensues.
  15. Did you hear about the pen that got a promotion? It became the “write-hand” of its owner.
  16. A pencil has nine lives, a pen has nine refills.
  17. The best gift you can give someone? A personalized pen with their name misspelled – comedic perfection.
  18. Pencils get all the praise for being number 2, but let’s give pens some credit for being number 1.
  19. A pen and paper make the perfect duo – one holds the ideas, the other brings them to life.
  20. And God said, “Let there be writing,” and the pen was created – because typing just isn’t as satisfying.

You’ll be ‘penned’ with laughter from these hilarious dad jokes about pens!

  1. Why was the pen feeling down? Because it had a lot of ink-spression.
  2. Did you hear about the pen thief? He’s on the write side of the law.
  3. I accidentally swallowed a pen today. My doctor says I’m going to be all write.
  4. Why did the pen go on strike? It wasn’t getting enough ink-come.
  5. I never trust stairs because they’re always up to something. Just like pens, always up to writing.
  6. I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but I had too many ex-pen-periences.
  7. I asked my dad for his pen, but he replied, “I can’t give you mine, it’s a ball-point.”
  8. You know what’s write with a pen? Absolutely nothing, except for words.
  9. Why did the pen get an award? Because it was the write choice.
  10. My friend said he didn’t understand cloning. I told him he couldn’t see the pen for the clones.
  11. People who buy pens never seem to get a grip on my sense of humor. They’re always pen-sive.
  12. What did one pen say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You draw me in.
  13. How do you make a pen dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  14. I told my dad I was going to a writing workshop, and he asked me, “Will there be pens and needles?”
  15. Writing with a broken pen is pointless.
  16. Why couldn’t the pen go to the party? Because it was out of ink-vites.
  17. Do you know why ink pens are so smart? They are always well read.
  18. My dad lost his pen in a pile of hay. He looked at me and said, “I guess it’s just a needle in a haystack now.”
  19. I used to be a doctor, but I got tired of all the sick pens.
  20. I asked my dad for a pen and he replied, “Of coarse, son.”

Pen-sational Double Entendres: Witty Puns for the Pen Crowd

  1. “I love playing with my pen, it always leaves me feeling fulfilled.”
  2. “My pen is mightier than any sword, especially when signing a contract.”
  3. “I always keep my pen handy, you never know when inspiration will strike.”
  4. “I let my pen do the talking, my words are just for show.”
  5. “I never go anywhere without my pen, it’s my trusted writing companion.”
  6. “I’m always in control when I have my pen in hand.”
  7. “I’m a master with my pen, I can make anything come to life.”
  8. “My pen is my secret weapon, my words are my ammunition.”
  9. “There’s nothing more satisfying than crossing things off my to-do list with my trusty pen.”
  10. “My pen is like a magic wand, it can make anything happen on paper.”
  11. “I like to keep my pen close, but my enemies closer.”
  12. “My pen is like a conductor’s baton, directing the symphony of my thoughts onto paper.”
  13. “My pen is my sword, but the ink is mightier than blood.”
  14. “I have a special bond with my pen, we’re attached at the hip…literally.”
  15. “My pen is like a mirror, reflecting my thoughts onto the page.”
  16. “I always keep extra pens on hand, you never know when you’ll need to make a quick joke.”
  17. “My pen is my therapist, it knows all of my deepest thoughts and secrets.”
  18. “I may be small, but my pen is fierce.”
  19. “I never let anyone borrow my pen, it’s like lending out a piece of my soul.”
  20. “My pen is like a lover, only instead of kisses, it leaves words of love on the page.”

Putting the ‘write’ back in recursive puns about ‘pen’!

  1. Did you hear about the pencil who went to jail? He finally got out, but he was still a piece of stationary – a pen-stationary!
  2. Why did the pen go on a diet? It wanted to be a thinner point!
  3. I tried to write with my broken pen, but it was pointless.
  4. What kind of pen do you use to draw a straight line? A straight-pen-cil!
  5. How did the pen feel when it ran out of ink? It was in the write place at the write time!
  6. My friend keeps trying to sell me his fancy pen for a high price, but I just can’t afford that kind of ink-vestment.
  7. I would tell you a joke about a broken pen, but it’s really hard to draw out.
  8. Why did the ink pen go to therapy? It had too many issues to address.
  9. I bet those fancy pens have a sharp wit, unlike my blunt replacement.
  10. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but have you ever tried fencing with a Bic?
  11. What do you call a pen’s vacation spot? A peninsula!
  12. I tried to tell my pen a funny joke, but it didn’t laugh because it was ball-pointless.
  13. Why was the expensive pen always so full of itself? It was just really ink-overrated.
  14. How does the pen introduce itself in a formal setting? “I go by Pen, ink-sider here.”
  15. I know this sounds cheesy, but I really just love pens. They make me ink-redibly happy.
  16. Why was the pen so happy? It finally found its write place in this world.
  17. I just realized my pen has been writing all these jokes for me. It must have a real knack for pun-manship.
  18. Why did the pen get into a fight with the eraser? It had a tip on its shoulder.
  19. What do you call a pen that can’t stand still? A pen-dulum!
  20. The other day, my pen was writing out my grocery list and just couldn’t remember what came after broccoli. Turns out, it had a case of ink-stinct!

Penning Hilarious Mishaps: Navigating through the World of ‘Pen’ Malapropisms

  1. Pen-tastic (fantastic)
  2. Pen-sane (insane)
  3. Pen-credible (incredible)
  4. Pen-sational (sensational)
  5. Pen-tended (intended)
  6. Pen-thusiastic (enthusiastic)
  7. Cap-i-pen (capital)
  8. Pen-talizing (mesmerizing)
  9. Pen-etration (penetration)
  10. Pen-tertainment (entertainment)
  11. Pen-sation (sensation)
  12. Deca-pen-t (decadent)
  13. Pen-velous (marvelous)
  14. Pen-cident (accident)
  15. Pre-pen-der (pretender)
  16. Im-pen-stive (expensive)
  17. Cor-pen-tion (corruption)
  18. Pen-thropology (anthropology)
  19. Pen-vent (event)
  20. Incom-pen-sionate (compassionate)

Punny Prints: Spoonerisms about Pens

  1. “Piddled Noodle” (instead of “Diddled Poodle”)
  2. “Nestry Papes” (instead of “Pastry Napes”)
  3. “Splottled Bink” (instead of “Bottled Slink”)
  4. “Winked Riter” (instead of “Rinked Witer”)
  5. “Jipped Span” (instead of “Sipped Jan”)
  6. “Fancy Boint” (instead of “Bouncy Foil”)
  7. “Bictor Peen” (instead of “Peter Beck”)
  8. “Poking Clue” (instead of “Cloaking Pew”)
  9. “Funning Cry” (instead of “Cunny Fry”)
  10. “Ducky Pin” (instead of “Pick Punny”)
  11. “Ratin’ Tain” (instead of “Tatin’ Rain”)
  12. “Bally Han” (instead of “Honey Ban”)
  13. “Lipping Kight” (instead of “Kipping Light”)
  14. “Granny Sape” (instead of “Sanny Grape”)
  15. “Fritted Pengers” (instead of “Petted Fingers”)
  16. “Hilly Pencil” (instead of “Silly Henpli”)
  17. “Pobster Shen” (instead of “Shubster Pen”)
  18. “Prankle Sell” (instead of “Sankle Spell”)
  19. “Pixie Bun” (instead of “Bixie Pun”)
  20. “Wobbly Gen” (instead of “Gobbly Wen”)

Pencil-ing in some punny Pen Tom Swifties for a write good time!

  1. “I’ll just ink my name on the contract,” he said penitently.
  2. “I can’t find my pen,” Tom said nonchalantly.
  3. “This pen is out of ink,” said Tom, disappointedly.
  4. “I love to doodle with my pen,” Tom said pointedly.
  5. “I left my pen in the car,” Tom said, drivingly.
  6. “I think I’ll use this fancy pen,” Tom said elegantly.
  7. “I can’t write with this broken pen,” said Tom pensively.
  8. “This pen is mightier than the sword,” said Tom pointedly.
  9. “I’ll just jot down a note with my trusty pen,” said Tom, jotfully.
  10. “I can’t stand those clicky pens,” said Tom, snappily.
  11. “I bought a new pen today,” said Tom, inkredibly.
  12. “This pen is my favorite,” Tom said inkstinctively.
  13. “I can’t believe it’s a pen, it’s writing so smoothly,” Tom penultimately.
  14. “I’ll just write myself a reminder on my hand,” Tom said, off-handedly.
  15. “I’m glad I brought a spare pen,” said Tom, in case of emergencies.
  16. “I like to twirl my pen when I’m thinking,” said Tom absentmindedly.
  17. “I’ll just use my magic pen to make everything disappear,” said Tom mischievously.
  18. “This pen has been through a lot with me,” said Tom sentimentally.
  19. “I’ll just draw a little something while I wait,” said Tom sketchily.
  20. “I’m feeling very inspired with this pen in my hand,” said Tom creatively.

Pen you tell the difference between a bad joke and a good one?

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-tastic!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-demonium!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-sive.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-sion plan.
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-chilada.
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-tathlete.
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-icillin.
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-elope.
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-knife.
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-nies from heaven.
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-sioner.
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-afore.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-nant.
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-alty kick.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-ultimate.
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-island.
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-umbra.
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-cil sharpener.
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-guin.
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pen. Pen who? Pen-friend.

Signing off with a pun-tastic finale!

Well, that’s it for our collection of pen-tastic puns and jokes! We hope you found them ink-redibly amusing and had a good laugh. If you’re still craving for more wordplay and humor, be sure to check out our other posts on puns and jokes. Remember, the pen is mightier than the sword, but a good pun can leave you in stitches. Happy reading (and writing)!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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