Libr-LOL-ry: 210+ Hilarious Jokes and Puns About Libraries

funny Library jokes with one liner clever Library puns at PunnyFunny.com

Calling all bookworms and word nerds! This one’s for you – the best collection of puns about libraries that will have you shelving with laughter! From clever wordplay to positive vibes, these jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike. So grab your library card and get ready to check out this list of hilarious jokes – because sometimes you just need a little humor to Dewey away the stress. Let’s book it to the funny side of the library!

Quietly chuckle your way through our top ‘Library’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!

  1. What did the book say when it fell off the shelf? “I had a shelfie, but then I fell.”
  2. I was going to tell you a joke about the library, but I’m afraid it’s too overdue.
  3. Why did the librarian slip and fall? Because she was in the non-friction section.
  4. How does a book greet its reader? With an open cover.
  5. Why did the book go to the doctor? Because it had a broken spine.
  6. I spotted a Dostoevsky novel on the library shelf that had a few holes in the pages. It was Crime and Punishment.
  7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  8. Which famous detective loves reading at the library? Sherlock Holmes(book).
  9. What did the librarian say when she found a lost bookmark? “I’ll never lose my place again.”
  10. How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’re too busy shelving books.
  11. What did the book say to the librarian? “Can I check you out?”
  12. I’m not addicted to reading, I can quit anytime I want. I just don’t want to.
  13. What did the bookworm say to his friend who kept dropping his books? “You need to work on your grip, mate.”
  14. I’ve been trying to write a book about the library, but it’s just not overdueing well.
  15. Why did the book get sent to timeout? Because it was bound to cause trouble.
  16. What’s a librarian’s favorite type of music? Anything with good book-beats.
  17. I asked the librarian for a book on paranoia, she said it was just behind me.
  18. What’s the best time to go to the library? Right before closing, it’s always quiet then.
  19. What do you call a group of book club members who can’t agree on what to read? A novel idea.
  20. The librarian kept telling me to speak up, but I’m just a little shelf-conscious.

Shh, make sure to check out these funny ‘library’ one-liner jokes!

  1. Why did the book go to therapy? For shelf-improvement.
  2. I tried to make a joke about books, but it didn’t have a good story.
  3. What did the librarian say to the noisy book? Silence, please!
  4. I asked the librarian if they had any books on procrastination, but they said they’ll look for them later.
  5. Why couldn’t the librarian find a book on physics? It was checked out.
  6. Why was the librarian always so tired? They were always booked.
  7. The librarian asked if I needed help finding a book, but I said no, I’m just browsing.
  8. What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on the same book for months? A slow reader’s club.
  9. Why was the librarian always sneezing? They were surrounded by a lot of dust covers.
  10. I asked the librarian for a book on Pavlov’s dogs and they said, “I’ll ring the bell when it’s ready.”
  11. Why did the book go to the doctor? It had a lot of plot holes.
  12. What do you call someone who loves books? A bookworm. What do you call someone who loves jokes about books? A bookwork.
  13. Why was the librarian afraid of driving? They were afraid of getting checked out.
  14. I tried to read a book on anti-gravity, but I couldn’t seem to put it down.
  15. What did the librarian say when they saw me reading a book about constipation? Looks like you’re having trouble moving through that one.
  16. Why was the book always falling asleep? It had too many boring chapters.
  17. The librarian said they had a book on paranoia, but it was always missing from the shelf.
  18. Why did the book have trouble making friends? It had a closed cover.
  19. I went to the library to borrow a book on karate, but they said it was already checked out by Bruce Lee.
  20. Why couldn’t the librarian find the book about mounting anger? They were too furious to search for it.

Silent yet Humorous: QnA Jokes & Puns about the Library

  1. What do you call a book that’s afraid of heights? A shelf-help book.
  2. Why did the librarian refuse to lend a ladder to the patron? Because it was an overdue situation.
  3. What’s the best way to make a librarian angry? Talk loudly on your phone while checking out a book.
  4. How many librarians does it take to clean up a spill? None, they’ll just shush the mess until it goes away.
  5. Why did the library lose all its money? Because it was constantly paying fines.
  6. Why did the librarian win the Nobel Peace Prize? Because she knew how to keep the peace and quiet in the library.
  7. What do you call a group of books discussing their favorite genres? A book club sandwich.
  8. Why did the ghost only haunt the library at night? It was addicted to after-death reading.
  9. How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they prefer to read in the dark.
  10. Why did the book return home from work early? It had a text twist.
  11. How did the librarian know the book was shy? It was always covered in dust jacket.
  12. What did one book say to the other during a heated argument? “Let’s shelf this discussion for later.”
  13. Why did the librarian get fired? They were caught in a book heist!
  14. How does a book take its coffee? With a dust cover and a sprinkle of Table of Contents.
  15. What do you call it when books combine to form a stronger one? A spine mergers.
  16. Why was the librarian always in such a good mood? Because she was always checking out great literature.
  17. How do librarians greet each other? “Nice to see you, Dewey!”
  18. What’s a librarian’s favorite pizza topping? Extra Cheese-beiter.
  19. How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they prefer to swap out bulb-covering dust jackets.
  20. Why was Green Eggs and Ham removed from the library? Because it was a banned-ana book.

Shhh-ilarious Wisdom: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about the Library

  1. “A library card is the true key to unlocking endless worlds of knowledge (and overdue fees).”
  2. “A book borrowed is a penny hoarded (until library fines come knocking).”
  3. “A librarian’s shush is worth a thousand words (and a few dirty looks).”
  4. “A library is the only place where it’s acceptable to be a bookworm (and a little bit of a hermit).”
  5. “A book a day keeps reality at bay (until it’s time to return them all at once).”
  6. “A library is the best kind of therapy (and it’s free!).”
  7. “A room without books is like a body without a soul (but a room filled with overdue books is pure chaos).”
  8. “Don’t judge a book by its cover, but feel free to judge the person who returns it 3 weeks late.”
  9. “Keep your friends close and your library card closer (they’ll never let you down).”
  10. “A library is the one place where silence is golden (unless you’re a toddler).”
  11. “You can never have too many books, but you can have too many overdue fees.”
  12. “A book a day keeps the doctor away (and also your social life).”
  13. “A library is the original Netflix (minus the chill).”
  14. “A book in the hand is worth two on the shelf (because you’ll probably forget to return them).”
  15. “You can lead a book to water, but you can’t make it overdue (unless you’re a forgetful library patron).”
  16. “Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body (except you can do it while sitting down).”
  17. “A library is the best place to get lost (both figuratively and literally).”
  18. “A library is the ultimate equalizer (no one can afford to buy all those books).”
  19. “A library is like a portal to different worlds (but with a very strict time limit).”
  20. “A librarian’s heart is always in the right place (right next to the overdue book return box).”

Dad jokes about the library that will have you reading between the laughs

  1. Why did the librarian go on a diet? Because he wanted to lose shelf weight!
  2. What did the book say to the librarian? Don’t turn the page, I’m too booked up!
  3. How do librarians stay organized? They catalog their thoughts!
  4. Why do librarians make great procrastinators? They’re always checking things out!
  5. Did you hear about the librarian who fell asleep at work? He had a book rest!
  6. What’s a librarian’s favorite type of music? Paperback rock!
  7. Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it’s two-tired!
  8. What did the librarian say when someone returned a book with a bent page? “I’m sorry, but this is not how you bookmark!”
  9. What do you call a sleepwalking librarian? A bookworm!
  10. How do you know when a book is a bestseller? When it’s flying off the shelves!
  11. What did the librarian say when asked for a good detective novel? “It’s a real page-turner!”
  12. Did you hear about the ghost haunting the library? He only manifests between the stacks!
  13. Why did the librarian suggest reading outside? Because it’s good to get some fresh air-book!
  14. What do you call a group of book lovers gathering in the library? A reading assembly!
  15. How do you know if a book is a mystery? It has a clue cover!
  16. What did the tree say to the librarian? “I’m turning a new leaf!”
  17. What do librarians have for breakfast? Grammar crackers and syllabus juice!
  18. How many books can a librarian carry at once? It depends on how well they’re stacked-up!
  19. What’s the librarian’s favorite type of plant? A dictionary, because it has nowhere to grow but up!
  20. What do you call a messy and disorganized library? A shambles of books!

Checking Out the Hilarity: Library Double Entendres Puns to Make You Laugh and Learn

  1. “I may be overdue, but I’m still checking you out in the library.”
  2. “Silence is golden, unless you’re talking about overdue library fees.”
  3. “I’m a bookworm and I can’t wait to crawl through your stacks.”
  4. “You must be a library book, because I can’t stop checking you out.”
  5. “I hope your library card isn’t the only thing that’s long and hard.”
  6. “I’d like to get lost in your stacks for days.”
  7. “I may not be the Dewey Decimal System, but I can organize your life.”
  8. “Are you a librarian? Because you just checked me out.”
  9. “I may have a late fee, but I’ll make it worth your while.”
  10. “I’m like a library book, always on loan and never returned.”
  11. “Care to join me for some studying in the romance section?”
  12. “I’m a book lover, but I love you more.”
  13. “You must be a librarian, because you know how to handle all these volumes.”
  14. “I don’t need a library card to be checked out by you.”
  15. “I may not be a bestseller, but I’ll keep you entertained all night long.”
  16. “Can I be the library to your bookworm?”
  17. “You must be a library book, because I can’t stop touching your covers.”
  18. “I may not have a library card, but I’m definitely interested in checking you out.”
  19. “Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your stacks.”
  20. “I may be just a book, but I’m an open book with you.”

Turn the Page on Boring Jokes with These Recursive Puns about the Library

  1. Why couldn’t the librarian find any jokes in the book? Because they were all checked out!
  2. The library card was feeling tired. It needed a little REST.
  3. What does a book do when it’s afraid? It gets shelved!
  4. The librarian was feeling overwhelmed. She needed to take a break and de-STRESS.
  5. Why did the book go to therapy? Because it had a lot of pLOT issues.
  6. The librarian told the book to quiet down. It needed to LOWER its volume.
  7. What do you call a library that’s always clean and organized? A well-READed library!
  8. Why was the dictionary feeling sad? It was lost for WORDS.
  9. The books were feeling rebellious. They wanted to start their own NOVELution.
  10. Why did the library start serving coffee? To help patrons with their PAGING needs.
  11. The librarian was feeling stressed. She just wanted to ESCAPE into a good book.
  12. Why did the book start playing music? It wanted to TUNE out the world.
  13. The library was feeling lonely. It needed some READical love.
  14. What did the librarian say when she missed her favorite book? “I really MISS SHELVED you.”
  15. The book was feeling lonely. It wanted some SHARED reading time.
  16. What does a librarian do when they’re craving chocolate? They go on a BOOKIE break!
  17. Why did the book break up with its sequel? It wasn’t ready for the commitment of a series, it just wanted to be STANDalone.
  18. The librarian was feeling nostalgic. She wanted to TAKE OUT her old favorites.
  19. Why did the book take a break from writing? It was suffering from a case of writer’s BLOK(E).
  20. What does a library say to someone who returns a book extremely late? “Better LATE than NEVER!”

Checking out the Hilarity: Library Malapropisms Unleashed!

  1. Bookworms – Instead of readers, these are actually tiny worms that crawl through library books.
  2. Dewey Decimal Discomfort – When a reader can’t find the right book in the library and experiences extreme frustration.
  3. Fictional Literacy – Someone who only reads made-up stories.
  4. Check-Out Nemesis – A person who always has a long line of people waiting to borrow books from them.
  5. Audiobook Cookbook – An audio version of a cookbook.
  6. Due Date Dilemma – When someone forgets to return a library book on time and has to pay a fine.
  7. Genre Juggle – When a librarian has to constantly switch between organizing different book genres.
  8. Librarian Liberace – A flamboyantly-dressed librarian who loves to entertain patrons with piano playing.
  9. Bookmark Bump – When someone accidentally bumps into you while you’re using a bookmark and you lose your place in the book.
  10. Spine-tingling Tales – Scary stories that make your back hurt from sitting hunched over while reading.
  11. Read-ial Dysfunction – Being unable to finish reading a book due to lack of interest or difficulty understanding it.
  12. Shelf-Respect – A librarian who is highly respected by their colleagues and patrons.
  13. Dewey Decimal Disaster – A chaotic and haphazardly organized library.
  14. Fiction Friction – When two readers fight over the last copy of a popular fictional book.
  15. Late Fee Levitation – When someone consistently returns books late and racks up an outrageous fee.
  16. Non-Fact Fiction – Stories that are completely made up and have no basis in reality.
  17. Book Butt – When someone has a noticeably larger posterior due to spending too much time sitting and reading.
  18. Overdue Overload – A situation in which a librarian is overwhelmed with the amount of books that are past their due date.
  19. Fiction Frenzy – A state of excitement and eagerness to read a new fiction book.
  20. Novel Noodle – When a reader becomes deeply immersed in a book and completely unaware of their surroundings.

Librarians Love Limericks: Spoonerisms about the Library

  1. “Shelf Lanka” instead of “Self Help”
  2. “Bard Blitz” instead of “Card Blitz”
  3. “Silent Booms” instead of “Violent Storms”
  4. “Book Smarts” instead of “Smart Books”
  5. “Dewey Groin” instead of “Grody Dew”
  6. “Whisper Screams” instead of “Sister Creams”
  7. “Deadline Honks” instead of “Headline Dons”
  8. “Index Crooks” instead of “Flexi Nooks”
  9. “Librarian Queendom” instead of “Dominant Queen”
  10. “Overdue Kiwis” instead of “Koala Divas”
  11. “Story Hours” instead of “Hour Stories”
  12. “Pencil Printer” instead of “Prince Plunder”
  13. “Hush Pilots” instead of “Plush Hyatt”
  14. “Reading Sparks” instead of “Speeding Rarks”
  15. “Aisle Stains” instead of “Style Strains”
  16. “Novel Feelers” instead of “Fever Nellies”
  17. “Maple Terns” instead of “Table Prints”
  18. “Bookworm Thriller” instead of “Thrill Bookworm”
  19. “Chapter Chokers” instead of “Chatter Pokers”
  20. “Adventure Pages” instead of “Paventure Ages”

Illiteracy is no joke, but these library Tom Swifties will have you bookworming for more!

  1. “I don’t have enough shelves,” Tom said bookishly.
  2. “Sorry, I can’t check out any more books,” Tom said shelflessly.
  3. “I’ll never finish this novel,” Tom said unreadably.
  4. “This is my favorite section,” Tom said romantically.
  5. “I can’t believe they don’t have a quiet room,” Tom whispered loudly.
  6. “I’ll just have to wing it,” Tom said foolishly.
  7. “I love being surrounded by so many words,” Tom said letter-ally.
  8. “I can’t put this book down,” Tom said grippingly.
  9. “I’ll just pretend to study,” Tom said studiously.
  10. “This librarian is a book of knowledge,” Tom said boundlessly.
  11. “I’ll have to resort to online research,” Tom said digitally.
  12. “I can’t believe how dusty these books are,” Tom said sneezily.
  13. “I’ll need to use my bookmark for this chapter,” Tom said bookmark-ably.
  14. “I’ll never have enough time to read them all,” Tom said timelessly.
  15. “I’m just searching for some words of wisdom,” Tom said cleverly.
  16. “This library is my second home,” Tom said bookishly.
  17. “Don’t worry, I’ll find that book for you,” Tom said shelflessly.
  18. “I can’t concentrate with all this silence,” Tom said noisily.
  19. “I’ll just skim through it,” Tom said superficially.
  20. “I’m overdue for a break,” Tom said latently.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have any good library knock-knock jokes?

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Book. Book who? Book it up to the library, there’s no time to waste!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Librarian. Librarian who? Librarian-tastic day to check out some books!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Card. Card who? Card catalog this, let’s go grab a book.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how funny this library joke is?
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fiction. Fiction who? Fiction you would stop ignoring me and read a book!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quiet. Quiet who? Quiet yourself down, this is a library!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Novel. Novel who? Novel idea, let’s go to the library!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bookworm. Bookworm who? Bookworms can be found in the library, come join the club!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shh. Shh who? Shh, let’s not disturb the other readers in the library.
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bookmark. Bookmark who? Bookmark this page and let’s go explore the library.
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Reference. Reference who? Reference section is where the real fun begins in the library.
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Story. Story who? Story time in the library is the best time!
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Page. Page who? Page-turner books can be found in the library, let’s go find one!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Silent. Silent who? Silent study areas are available in the library, let’s go find one.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Magazine. Magazine who? Magazine rack is where we can find the latest issues in the library.
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dictionary. Dictionary who? Dictionary is my favorite book in the library, let’s check it out.
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Librarian. Librarian who? Librarian, it’s getting late, time to close the library.
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Adventure. Adventure who? Adventure awaits in the pages of the books at the library.
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wizard. Wizard who? Wizard you grab a book and join me for some magic at the library?
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Knowledge. Knowledge who? Knowledgeable librarians can help you find exactly what you need in the library.

Literally Laughable: The End of Library Puns

Well folks, it looks like we’ve reached the final chapter in our adventure through puns about libraries. I hope you all had a novel-ty good time and chortled your way through each and every one of these page-turning puns. But if you’re still craving a laugh, don’t worry, there are plenty more puns and jokes waiting for you in the shelves of this blog. So go on and browse through our other related posts, and who knows, you might just find yourself checking out with a couple more laughs. Until then, keep calm and book on!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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