Get Your Fill of Ham-ilious Humor: 210+ Puns and Jokes About Ham!
Welcome to the most pig-tastic post you’ll ever read – filled with the best puns about ham! Get ready to oink with laughter as we bring you a list of clever and positively hilarious jokes that will have your kids squealing with delight. Whether you’re a ham lover or just appreciate some good humor, these puns will have you cracking up like a nutcracker on Christmas. So sit back, grab a ham sandwich, and prepare for some rib-tickling fun. Let’s get this piggy party started!
Hamming It Up: The Top Selections of Hilarious ‘Ham’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!
- Why did the pig become an actor? Because it was tired of being a ham.
- When does a ham stop being a pig? When it’s cured.
- I tried to make a ham sandwich but the bread was too strong.
- That comedian’s jokes were a little ham-fisted.
- Why don’t pigs tell jokes? They ham it up instead.
- Why did the ham go to the doctor? It was feeling a little cured.
- What do you call an overconfident ham? A hambitious pig.
- I used to be addicted to ham, but I quit cold turkey.
- Why did the pig want to become a DJ? So it could drop some sick ham beats.
- What did the ham say to the cheese? “You’re my brie-est friend.”
- How do you make a pig laugh? Give it a ham-ectomy.
- I told my friend I was going to make him a ham omelette. He said, “That sounds egg-cellent.”
- Did you hear about the pig who opened his own clothing store? He’s making a lot of ham-pants.
- I can’t seem to find my hamster. Oh wait, it was actually just a piece of ham.
- Why did the pig go to space? To find the elusive ham-ssteroid.
- What did the vegan say when offered a slice of ham? “Ew, no thanks, I don’t eat meat.”
- Why did the chef quit his job? He couldn’t cut the mustard (or the ham).
- I tried to tell my mom a ham joke, but she said it was too corny.
- Why did the pig cross the road? To get to the other side of ham-hock.
- I got in trouble for stealing a piece of ham from the store. It was a real ham-nasty situation.
Prepare to Oink with Laughter: Funny ‘Ham’-azing One-Liner Jokes!
- Why did the pig join the gymnastics team? It wanted to be an Olympic Ham-tlete!
- What do you call a pig who knows karate? A pork chop!
- How do you fix a broken pizza? With a little pepperoni and ham-chovy!
- Why shouldn’t you trust a pig’s weather predictions? They’re always so bacon-fused!
- What do you call a group of pigs playing instruments? A ham-band!
- Why did the pig go into therapy? It was going through a ham-otional crisis!
- What did the pig say at the end of a long day? I’m so ham-tired!
- Why couldn’t the pig finish his workout routine? It was too bacon-tensive!
- What did the pig say when it won the lottery? We’re going ham on vacation!
- How does a pig answer the phone? With an oink-swer!
- What did the ham say to the other ham who cut in front of him in line? That’s not very ham-icable!
- What do you call a ham who loves to dance? A pro-ham-tango!
- Why didn’t the pig want to go to the beach? It was afraid of getting a ham-burn!
- What do you call a ham who’s always full of energy? Ham-thlete Powell!
- How do you know when a pig is happy? It starts oinking and rolling around in ham-mock!
- What do you call a pig who can spell? A pig-nitionary!
- What did the pig say when it saw an empty water fountain? This is a ham-ergency!
- How does a pig make coffee? With a ham-drip method!
- Why did the pig go to the psychologist? It needed help with its ham-o-phobia!
- What did the ham say to its best friend? You’re the bacon to my ham!
QnA Ham-edy: Laughing along with these hilarious jokes and puns!
- Q: What do you call a greedy pig who loves ham? A: A ham-burglar!
- Q: Why did the ham go to therapy? A: It was feeling cured.
- Q: What’s the best way to communicate with a ham sandwich? A: Through ham-onyms!
- Q: What did the slice of ham say to the bread? A: You’re my better half!
- Q: Did you hear about the ham who won the lottery? A: He was living in hog heaven!
- Q: What do you call a ham who is always on time? A: Punctual-pork!
- Q: Why was the ham arrested? A: For being a good ham-burglar!
- Q: What’s a pig’s favorite kind of music? A: Ham-ony!
- Q: What did one slice of ham say to the other? A: You’re the bacon of my eye!
- Q: What did the ham chef say when he burnt his hand? A: Oh, the ham-manity!
- Q: How does a ham keep its shape? A: By using ham-strungers!
- Q: What do you call a pig who performs Shakespeare? A: Ham-let!
- Q: Why did the pig go into the kitchen? A: He heard someone was making a BLT (bacon, lettuce, and tomato)!
- Q: What did the ham say to the cheese? A: You make my sandwich complete!
- Q: What did the ham do after it won an Oscar? A: It gave a ham-azing acceptance speech!
- Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork-chop!
- Q: Why did the pig go to New York City? A: To see the Ham-Statue of Liberty!
- Q: Why did the ham go to the doctor? A: It was feeling a bit off-colo(u)r.
- Q: What’s a pig’s favorite flower? A: Ham-zel!
- Q: What did the ham say when it saw its reflection? A: That’s some ham-some pig!
Unleash the Laughter with These Hilarious Ham Proverbs & Wise Words
- “Why settle for bread when you can have your ‘ham’ and eat it too?”
- “Life is like a sandwich, no matter how you stack it, ‘ham’ always comes first.”
- “Don’t put all your ‘ham’ in one basket, unless you’re making a sandwich.”
- “A good ‘ham’ needs no sauce, just like a wise man needs no excuse.”
- “When life gives you ‘ham’, make a sandwich and share it with your friends.”
- “Love is like a ‘ham’, it takes time to cure but is always worth the wait.”
- “It’s better to be the ‘ham’ on a sandwich than a pickle in a jar.”
- “A ‘ham’ by any other name would still smell as sweet.”
- “You can’t make an omelette without cracking some ‘ham’.”
- “A penny saved is a penny closer to buying a whole ‘ham’.”
- “Opportunity knocks, but sometimes it’s just the pizza guy delivering a ‘ham’.”
- “A rolling ‘ham’ gathers no moss, but it does gather hungry bystanders.”
- “The early bird gets the ‘ham’, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
- “You can’t teach an old dog new ‘ham’, but you can teach him how to make a sandwich.”
- “A stitch in time saves nine slices of ‘ham’.”
- “A bird in the hand is worth two slices of ‘ham’ in the bush.”
- “To err is human, to forgive is ‘ham’.”
- “Honesty is the best policy, but sometimes a little ‘ham’ helps too.”
- “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him eat a ‘ham’ sandwich.”
- “The only thing better than a ‘ham’ sandwich is a ‘ham’ sandwich with extra ‘ham’.”
Bringing Home the Bacon: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Ham
- Why did the pig decide to become an actor? Because he wanted to be a ham-bition!
- What did the farmer say when he saw a pig rolling around in the mud? “Looks like he’s having a ham-tastic time!”
- How do you fix a broken ham? With hamer glue!
- Why couldn’t the pig pay his rent? He was a little short on ham.
- What did the pig say to the butcher? “Don’t worry, I’ll ham-dle this!”
- How does a ham say hello? Ham-aste!
- Why was the pig always reading? He wanted to be ham-ucated!
- Why did the pig get on the airplane? To go on a ham-borghini!
- What did the judge say when the pig went on trial? “I find you guil-ham-ty!”
- What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork-chop!
- Why did the pig refuse to go swimming? He didn’t want to get ham-erged.
- What do you call a ham that’s never been sliced? A rookieham!
- How do you make a pig roll over? Just say “pro-ham-ise”!
- Why don’t pigs play hide and seek? They’re always ham-stantly found.
- What’s a pig’s favorite type of music? Pig-hop!
- How do you catch a runaway pig? With a ham-trap!
- Why did the pig go on strike? He was tired of bringing home the bacon.
- What did the pig say when he saw his reflection? “That’s a ham-some pig!”
- How do pigs communicate? Through ham-o-codes!
- Why did the pig try to join the gym? He wanted to be fit as a ham.
Get ready for a ‘ham-tastic’ time with these ‘punny’ double entendres!
- “I like my ham like I like my jokes – full of ham-age.”
- “I wish I had more ham-pathy for vegetarians.”
- “I’ve been told I have a great ham-mer throw.”
- “Ham-azing things come to those who wait.”
- “Sorry, I’m not bacon your ham-blance.”
- “I’m not just ham-dropping compliments, I really mean it.”
- “I ham-nestly can’t resist a good double entendre.”
- “I hate to be a party ham-per, but can we add some bacon to this menu?”
- “I’m a ham-bassador for all delicious pork products.”
- “I ham-somely declare that this is the best ham pun ever.”
- “I feel like a ham-sters on a wheel, always chasing the ham-bition of a perfect pun.”
- “I’m ham-pressed with your pun skills – have you joined the ham-ateur league?”
- “I’m not bragging, but I’ve been called the Ham-ilton of Ham Puns.”
- “I’ll just have one slice of ham-o-rama, hold the cheese puns.”
- “I’ve been told I have a way with ham-words.”
- “I’m a real ham-sandwich – a little bit cheesy, but always delicious.”
- “Ham-pire of the pork puns, at your service.”
- “I may not be Shakespeare, but I can sure whip up a mean ham-let pun.”
- “I’m not just a pretty face, I’ve got some serious ham-bition.”
- “I’d give up bacon for a day to come up with the ultimate ham-nasty joke.”
Bringing Home the Bacon: Recursive Puns About Ham
- Why did the ham go to therapy? Because he was feeling cured-ious!
- What do you call a ham sandwich that keeps telling jokes? A ham-muscle!
- How do you make a ham laugh? Tell it a “ham-dic” joke!
- Why did the ham get into a fight? Because he was ham-stringed!
- What do you get when you cross a ham with a kangaroo? A ham-smacker!
- How do you fix a broken ham bone? With a ham-mer, of course!
- What do you call a ham that’s full of himself? A ham-some ham!
- Why did the ham have to go to school? To get a “ham-ucation”!
- What did the ham say when he saw his reflection? Ham-some!
- What’s a ham’s favorite vacation spot? Ham-pshire!
- How do you know when a ham is lying? His nose keeps growing ham-poonishly!
- What do you call a ham that can do magic tricks? Ham-wizard!
- What did the ham say to the sliced bread? You’re my bread and ham!
- How does a ham tell time? With a ham-dial clock!
- Why did the ham have trouble finding a job? No one wanted to give him a ham-job!
- What was the ham’s favorite subject in school? Ham-nomics!
- Why did the ham go to the doctor? He wasn’t feeling ham-azing!
- How does a ham answer the phone? Ham-low!
- Did you hear about the ham who opened a bakery? He has some great ham-panadas!
- What do you call a ham that’s always angry? A ham-ster!
Adding a Dash of Humor with ‘Ham’ Malapropisms
- “I can’t believe he photobombed my pigs!” (instead of “he photobombed my pics”)
- “Let’s make a Sammichon sandwich for lunch!” (instead of “panini sandwich”)
- “I’m going on a meating this weekend!” (instead of “meeting”)
- “I’m feeling a little bacon on my head today.” (instead of “burden”)
- “I have a cold with a lot of snorts too.” (instead of “symptoms”)
- “I’m feeling hamstrung today.” (instead of “overwhelmed”)
- “I love going to Amish parks.” (instead of “amusement parks”)
- “Don’t worry, I have an axe under my sleeve.” (instead of “ace up my sleeve”)
- “I’m on a strict ham diction diet.” (instead of “strict diet”)
- “I’m so eggscited for Easter this year!” (instead of “excited”)
- “I think I pulled my hummus muscle.” (instead of “hamstring”)
- “I’ll have a cheeseburger on the rocks.” (instead of “on the side”)
- “I got a new hamster wheel for my car!” (instead of “steering wheel”)
- “Let’s play a game of egg and seek.” (instead of “hide and seek”)
- “I hope this weather doesn’t rain on my parade.” (instead of “ruin”)
- “I need to update my chamouflage gear.” (instead of “camouflage”)
- “I love waking up to the smell of fresh hare in the morning.” (instead of “air”)
- “I have a lot of errands to run this hamorning.” (instead of “morning”)
- “I’m on a bacon and cheeseburger diet.” (instead of “bacon and eggs”)
- “I pulled a muscle trying to lift the ham weights.” (instead of “weights”)
Ham it up with these hilarious Spoonerisms about ‘Ham’
- Ram Ham: A sheep dressed up as a pig.
- Ham Jockey: A person who races pigs instead of horses.
- Hamlet: A miniature pig who loves to quote Shakespeare.
- Hamnado: A tornado made entirely of flying ham.
- Hamburger: A pig-shaped toy that makes grunting noises when squeezed.
- Hamstring: A type of musical instrument made from a pig’s leg.
- Ham Laptop: A computer made out of processed ham.
- Hamster: A ham that is smaller than average.
- Hamtasia: A magical land ruled by talking pigs.
- Hamster Wheel: A dining table where the chairs are replaced with hamster balls.
- Hamstermind: A hamster who is also a genius scientist.
- Ham-jammer: A device used to make perfectly sliced deli ham.
- Amy Hamhouse: A famous actress known for her role in a blockbuster film about a talking pig.
- Hammock: A net made of thinly sliced ham used for lounging on.
- Hambulance: An emergency vehicle used to transport injured pigs.
- Hamglobin: A vampire pig who only drinks tomato juice instead of blood.
- Ham-o-clock: A clock that tells time by the amount of ham left in the fridge.
- Hamalicious: A way to describe something that is both delicious and made of ham.
- Hammered: When someone has eaten too much ham and is in a food coma.
- Braham Lincoln: A pig who was also the 16th president of the United States.
Holy Ham-bones, Tom exclaimed with a smirkin’ smile, these Tom Swifties are ham-tastic!
- “This ham sandwich is so cheesy,” Tom said ham-ically.
- “I can’t wait to get my hands on that juicy ham,” Tom exclaimed ham-bitiously.
- “I don’t have any more ham puns,” Tom sighed ham-lessly.
- “Is this ham expired?” Tom asked ham-fearingly.
- “Ham it up, Tom!” his friends yelled ham-pliedly.
- “Oh no, I forgot the ham for our picnic,” Tom groaned ham-peredly.
- “I can’t believe I ate the whole ham,” Tom moaned ham-orously.
- “I think this ham is getting a little salty,” Tom observed ham-pathetically.
- “I wish I could stop thinking about ham,” Tom reflected ham-stinctively.
- “I feel like a hamster in a cage with all this ham around,” Tom squeaked ham-barassedly.
- “I don’t know if I trust this ham from the shady deli,” Tom mistrusted ham-blantly.
- “I’m a big fan of Honey-Baked Ham,” Tom raved ham-lectically.
- “My jokes are always on the ham-bivalent side,” Tom chuckled ham-lessly.
- “I’m feeling a little ham-sterbated after all that ham,” Tom joked ham-ily.
- “I heard that comedian’s joke and laughed my ham off,” Tom cackled ham-upously.
- “I think I’ll pass on the ham, I’m trying to watch my waistline,” Tom resisted ham-pletely.
- “My car broke down on the way to the BBQ, it was a real ham-strophe,” Tom lamented ham-lessly.
- “I think I’ll go for the vegan option, I’m sick of hamming it up all the time,” Tom admitted ham-cially.
- “I can’t believe I won the ham-e lottery,” Tom exclaimed ham-azedly.
- “I guess I should apologize to that pig for eating its ham,” Tom mused ham-pologetically.
Knock, Knock. Ham Who? It’s a Ham-bushel-packed full of Laughs!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamm. Hamm who? Hamm-azing joke, right?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamlet. Hamlet who? Ham-let me tell you a joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hammertime. Hammertime who? Stop! It’s hammertime!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hammy. Hammy who? Hammy down the jokes, please!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamster. Hamster who? Hamster dance, anyone?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wild. Wild who? Why does this ham have a wild side?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamburglar. Hamburglar who? Hamburglar that ham sandwich!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amy. Amy who? Am I funny enough to make you laugh?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hammock. Hammock who? Hammock outside and enjoy the ham-azing weather!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Humor. Humor who? Humor me and laugh at this ham joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamma mia. Hamma mia who? Hamma mia, this ham is delicious!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamil-ton. Hamil-ton who? Hamil-ton of jokes about ham coming your way!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hambulance. Hambulance who? Call the hambulance, this joke needs serious help.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamlette. Hamlette who? To be or not to be a ham, that is the question.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamburger. Hamburger who? Hamburger patty, ham slices, and bacon walk into a bar…
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Graham. Graham who? Graham crackers, marshmallows, and ham make the perfect s’more.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hammer. Hammer who? Hammer time! Too legit, too legit to quit!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamilton. Hamilton who? Alexander Hamilton, the founding father of ham jokes.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hamma. Hamma who? Hamma who? This ham joke is too good to be true!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hami-luv-u. Hami-luv-u who? I love ham so much, I could eat it all day long!
From Boars to Puns: Ham-tastic Conclusion!
Well folks, it looks like we’ve reached the end of our ham-tastic pun journey. I hope your stomachs are feeling as full as a Thanksgiving dinner, because we’ve served up 210+ delicious puns about ham for your comedic pleasure. But before we say goodbye, may I suggest checking out our other punny posts? Trust me, they’re not just a bunch of baloney. Now go forth and spread the joy of ham puns to all your friends and loved ones. Remember, when life gives you ham, make puns! Keep cracking jokes, my friends.