Laugh Your Way to Mount Olympus: 210+ Greek Jokes & Puns!

Welcome to our list of the best Greek jokes and puns about Greek! If you’re a fan of humor and clever wordplay, you’re in for a treat. These jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face and even make you laugh out loud. They’re perfect for kids and adults alike, so get ready to add some Greek humor to your day. So without further ado, let’s dive into our list of hilarious jokes about Greece!

Opa! Laugh Out Loud with These ‘Greek’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

What do you call a Greek chef? A souperhero!
Why couldn’t the Greek philosopher open his fridge? Because all his food was a-pollo!
Why did the Greek athlete refuse to compete in the marathon? He didn’t want to run the risk-kos!
What did the Greek god of wine say at his annual party? “Wine not?”
How do you know if a Greek god is lying? Their pants will be on fire-us!
Why did the Greek hero refuse to wear a cape? He didn’t want to be known as a gyro!
What do you call a Greek snake who loves to dance? A disco-viper!
How does a Greek mathematician propose to his girlfriend? He gets down on one knee-tangle!
What did the Greek prime minister say when he needed to make a decision? “Let’s put it to a vote.”
Why did the Greek singer refuse to perform in the rain? She didn’t want to get a little bit of rain and a lot of thunder-ella!
How did the Greek warrior greet his enemies? With a spear-it!
What’s the best way to catch a Greek fish? With a trident-true method!
How did the Greek architect design such strong buildings? He had a solid foundation-mythology!
Why did the Greek god of war love coconut water? It reminded him of his favorite battle drink: mead-ter!
How did the Greek philosopher Pascal make his famous wager? He took a ristosolma–a risk-Olympus!
Why did the Greek athlete refuse to share his Olympic medal with his teammates? He didn’t want to spartan with anyone!
What do you call a Greek goat that loves to headbutt things? A ram-packed animal!
Why did the Greek goddess of love have so many admirers? She was Aphrodite-licious!
What did the Greek mathematician say when he solved the impossible equation? “That’s Eu-reka!”
How do you know if a Greek myth is true? It must have a myth-taken identity!

Opa! You’ll Giggle All the Way to Mount Olympus with These Funny Greek One-Liner Jokes

Why did Socrates refuse to eat the grape leaves? Because he had a phobia of vines!
How does a Greek philosopher order their coffee? With a Socrat-espresso.
I asked my Greek friend how to say “I love you” in his language. He said, “You don’t, you just break plates.”
What do Greek gods use to clean their ears? Aphrodite Q-tips.
Why did Zeus invite Dionysus to all his parties? He always brought the wine!
What’s the difference between a Greek mathematician and a philosopher? One is all about numbers, the other is all about “why.”
How does a Greek chef make their soup? With Greece.
Why did the Greek statue need a replacement arm? It was “Greeced” lightning.
What do you call a Greek who loves to garden? A horti-cultured emperor.
How do you say “I’m hungry” in ancient Greek? Iota, phi, theta!
Why did the Greek sculptor have the best job? He got to chisel all day.
Who was the first Greek to drive a car? Athena-ta be Hercules!
What do you call a Greek who’s addicted to lattes? A cafe-inist.
Why don’t Greek gods have burritos? They have gyros instead.
What do you call a Greek who can’t control their emotions? Aga-problem-nenon.
How does a Greek farmer count his sheep? With a cattle-logue.
What’s the best way to communicate with Greek gods? With a Hermes-phone!
Why did the Greek chef get fired? He was too feta-stic in the kitchen.
What did the banana say to Achilles? “I’ll slip on you later!”
How does Zeus keep track of his appointments? With a calendar made of Mount Olympus.

Get a taste of ‘gyro’-matic laughter with these QnA Jokes & Puns about Greek!

Why did the Greek mathematician have trouble solving equations? Because he was always too “phi” to function!
What did the Greek philosopher say when he couldn’t find his sandals? “I must have lost my “soles”!
How do you make a Greek salad laugh? Give it a “Feta” cheese tickle!
What do you call a Greek who loves to dance? “Zorba” the club-goer!
Why was the Greek marathon runner always so tired? Because he was always “Athena”d!
How does a Greek chicken greet someone? With a “pollo” hug!
Why did the Greek spice merchant refuse to sell to customers on credit? Because he only took “basil” payments!
What did the Greek chef say when he invented a new dish? “Opa-sta” la vista, boring food!
Why did the Greek ship captain refuse to install a navigation system? Because he preferred to sail by “gyro”scope!
How do you make a Greek baby stop crying? Give it a “ba-ba” of ouzo!
What did the ancient Greek warrior say when he saw a dragon? “Hera” comes trouble!
Why was the Greek actor always typecast as a pirate? Because he could “Arrr-kon” any accent!
How does a Greek soldier get to work every day? He “ma-liao” march there!
What did the Greek hairdresser say when he ran out of styling products? “Olive” oil will do the trick!
How does a Greek dog say hello? With a “Wag-yros” tail!
Why did the Greek goddess of love have a hard time finding a date? Because she was always “Aphro-ditch”-ing her suitors!
What do you call a Greek magician? A “Sor-cery” enthusiast!
Why was the Greek baker always so busy? Because he was always “kneading” dough!
What do you call a Greek who is good at math? A “Geo-metry” whiz!
How does a Greek duck throw a party? With a “quack-ni-giri” buffet!

Opa! These Greek proverbs are no myth, they’re just too ‘feta’-stic to resist.

“A Greek’s comic timing is as sharp as feta cheese.”
“You can’t win an argument with a Greek – they invented democracy.”
“In Greece, even the gods laugh at their own jokes.”
“If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the Greek kitchen.”
“A Greek’s hospitality will leave you feeling full – both in stomach and in heart.”
“When life gives you olives, make olive oil – or just eat them, they’re delicious.”
“In Greece, ouzo is the answer to all of life’s problems – or at least it makes them more bearable.”
“The best way to experience Greece is to dance like Zorba and eat like Zeus.”
“Don’t underestimate a Greek grandmother – her moussaka could solve world peace.”
“Greeks are like wine – they only get better with age, and they’ll make you sing and dance at the table.”
“If you want to charm a Greek, just bring them some baklava – it’s the key to their heart.”
“A Greek’s love for food is only second to their love for family.”
“When a Greek invites you over for dinner, be prepared to eat until you burst – and then eat some more.”
“A Greek’s dance moves are as smooth as their olive oil.”
“You can take the Greek out of Greece, but you can’t take Greece out of a Greek.”
“The secret to a long and happy life? A Mediterranean diet and a Greek attitude.”
“When a Greek says ‘one more drink’, it usually means five more drinks.”
“Life is short, eat the Greek salad – it counts as a healthy choice.”
“If you want to impress a Greek, say a few words in Greek – even if it’s just ‘opah!'”
“A Greek’s love for their culture is as strong as Mount Olympus.”

Gearing Up for Groan-Worthy Gags: Dad Jokes about Greek Mythology

What did the Greek philosopher say when he stubbed his toe? “I think, therefore I am in pain.”
How do you make a Greek salad? You just put a bunch of vegetables in the Aegean Sea.
Why can’t the Greek gods ever settle an argument? Because they’re too busy fighting over Olympus pizza!
Why did the Greek athlete decide to become an accountant? He wanted to be a numbers Prometheus.
Did you hear about the Greek chef who died? He pasta way.
Why did the Greek man go to the eye doctor? Because he was having a Hera-sy.
Did you hear about the Greek skeleton? He had a bone to pick with his descendants.
What did the Greek oracle say to the tourist who asked for directions? “I’m sorry, I can’t provide guidance without a sacrifice.”
How do you say “hello” in Greek mythology? “Hermes there!”
Why couldn’t the Greek warrior pay off his debts? Because he kept getting stuck with his credit Minotaur.
What do you call a group of Greek gods who love to party? The Pantheon-posse.
Why was the Greek mathematician afraid of negative numbers? Because he didn’t want to go below zero descendants.
What do you call a bunch of angry Greek gods? A wrath of Titans!
How do you know when a Greek god is telling a joke? When there’s a Zeus in the crowd.
Why did the Greek hero refuse to go to the salon? He was afraid of getting a hair-coles.
What do you call a Greek who’s afraid of the dark? A “Nyxtophobia.”
How does a Greek order his coffee? “Opa, two shots of espresso!”
What’s a Greek’s favorite type of music? “Myth-rock.”
Why couldn’t the Greek athlete participate in the marathon? He’s Achilles’ heel was acting up.
Did you hear about the Greek warrior who had a pet parrot? Its name was Sparticus!

Opa! Get your fill of cheesy ‘Greek’ double entendres puns

“I can’t believe you bought me this Trojan horse. I was expecting something with a little less wood.”
“Did you hear about the Greek yogurt that went bad? It had a real feta-complex.”
“Why did the philosopher refuse to eat his olive? Because he said it was a pit-ty food.”
“I guess you could say Hercules was a real action figure.”
“What did Zeus say when he found out Poseidon was cheating on his wife? That’s definitely not a ‘sea’-cret anymore.”
“I tried to make a joke about Apollo, but it ended up being a sun-ny side disaster.”
“Athena was always the smartest goddess in the room, but she never knew how to dress for success. She always wore too much wisdom clothing.”
“Hera got so mad at Zeus for cheating, she turned his lover into a cow. I guess you could say she really beefed up her revenge.”
“Did you hear about the Greek statue that came to life? I guess you could say it was quite marble-ous.”
“I don’t trust Achilles with my secret, he has a real Achilles’ heel for spreading gossip.”
“The ancient Greeks really loved their wine, they even had a god of wine named Bacchus. Talk about ‘grape’ expectations.”
“Why did the Greek farmer grow his olives in a circle? He heard it was better to have them round than squa-re olive trees.”
“I overheard two Greek gods arguing, one said ‘you’re such a Hera-tic!’ To which the other responded ‘well, at least I don’t look like Cronus.'”
“Mythology class is all Greek to me.”
“I heard Aphrodite and Ares were having an affair, I guess you could say they had a real ‘hot’ and heavy relationship.”
“I asked Dionysus if he wanted to go out for drinks, but he said he prefers to bring the party ‘home’ to Olympus.”
“Why couldn’t the Cyclops go to the bar? Because he forgot his eye-D!”
“I’m not afraid of Medusa, I’ve seen scarier things at a beauty pageant.”
“I asked Zeus if he’s been working out, and he said ‘yeah, I’ve been hitting the gymnasium.'”
“Did you hear about the Greek soldier who accidentally dropped his shield while fighting? He was so embarrassed, he had to hide his face in his helmet.”

Indulge in a ‘Mouss-ive’ Laugh with These Recursive Puns about Greek Mythology!

Why did the Greek god of the underworld love to eat pita? Because he always wanted to go back to Hades!
I was going to make a joke about Zeus, but it would just come back around again.
Did you hear about the Greek warrior who loved to recycle? He was known as the green Spartan!
What did the mathematician say to the Greek philosopher? “Let’s keep this conversation Euclidean.”
Why did the Greek chef switch from using regular olives to kalamata olives? Because he didn’t want his jokes to be pit-iful.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Athena. Athena who? Athena looks like we have another Greek goddess on our hands!
I would tell you a joke about Medusa, but you might get stoned.
I asked my Greek friend what he wanted for his birthday, and he said “all I want is for my gifts to be epic.”
Why were the Greek gods good at basketball? Because they always had a Titan-ic advantage!
I heard Aphrodite got her hair caught in a knot and was left feeling tressed out.
I tried to come up with a joke about the Greek alphabet, but I couldn’t think of a better pun than alpha-better.
What did Socrates say when he got cut off by another driver? I guess I’ll have to take a Plato on that.
Why did the Greek goddess of love break up with her boyfriend? Because he was too self-centered and only cared about Narcissus.
I told my Greek friend a joke about Achilles, but he only gave me a heel-faced laugh.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cerberus. Cerberus who? Cerberus-ly, are you not familiar with the dog guarding the gates of Hades?
What did the Greek god of wine say when he was asked to share his drink? “Dionysus, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
Why did the philosopher prefer eating cookies over baklava? Because they were easier to Descartes!
Did you hear about the Greek warrior who made the best pancakes? He was a spatula Spartan!
Why did the Greek god of the sea start using a trident instead of a hook? Because he got tired of his jokes going over everyone’s heads.
I wrote a script about Greek mythology, but it was just a play on words.

Opa! Hilarious Greek Malapropisms to Make You Say Ouzo My Goodness!

“He’s a real gyro-naut” (instead of “astronaut”)
“I’m feeling a bit olive” (instead of “I’m feeling alive”)
“Let’s take a stroll through the Parthenon” (instead of “Let’s take a walk”)
“She’s always so myth-taken” (instead of “mistaken”)
“I’m going to Spartacus this assignment” (instead of “tackle”)
“I can’t believe you roamin’ around with that guy” (instead of “hanging out”)
“Don’t be such a Minotaur” (instead of “don’t be stubborn”)
“I’m getting some major Achilles’ heel vibes from this situation” (instead of “red flag”)
“I’m going to need some Herculean help with this move” (instead of “extra help”)
“Well, that’s a Dionysus experience” (instead of “nightmare”)
“He’s a real Prometheus at work” (instead of “go-getter”)
“I’m feeling pretty Zorba the Greek right now” (instead of “confident”)
“Don’t mind her, she’s just Hellenistic” (instead of “melancholic”)
“Wow, that’s some epic Cassandra behavior” (instead of “predictable”)
“I swear, my mom is the Real Housewife of Athens” (instead of “drama queen”)
“I’m starting to think I’m cursed with the Midas touch” (instead of “good luck”)
“Looks like we’ve got a real Odyssey ahead of us” (instead of “journey”)
“Oh no, I think I have a colossus on my hands” (instead of “problem”)
“You’re such a chariot-chaser” (instead of “gold digger”)
“I can’t believe I fell for his Aphrodite-like charm” (instead of “seductive”)

Get Your Groove on with Greek Spoonerisms!

“Geek Rages” instead of “Greek Gods”
“Pita Gyros” instead of “Gita Pyros”
“Fleece Sheets” instead of “Sleaze Feats”
“Toga Granola” instead of “Yoga Granola”
“Olive Gove” instead of “Groove Love”
“Pork Souvlaki” instead of “Spork Poulaki”
“Moussaka Scandal” instead of “Musical Scandal”
“Feta Betrayal” instead of “Beta Fidelity”
“Acropolis Flip” instead of “Flip Acropolis”
“Ouzo Moustache” instead of “Mooz Oustache”
“Grecian Freak” instead of “Frickin’ Greek”
“Hummus Humor” instead of “Humorous Muses”
“Frappe Slapper” instead of “Slap Frappe”
“Gorgon Salon” instead of “Salon Gorgon”
“Gyros Hero” instead of “Heroes Giro”
“My Big Fat Greek Meddling” instead of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”
“Saganaki Catastrophe” instead of “Cataskanaki Sastrophe”
“Zorba Fiasco” instead of “Foba Ziasco”
“Olive Grope” instead of “Groove Ollie”
“Toga Shenanigans” instead of “Shoga Tenanigans”

Eating a ‘Greek’ salad, Tom Swifties declared, ‘lettuce have a taste of this perfection!’

“I refuse to eat any more gyros,” said Tom, sheepishly.
“We should really start working on our mythology project,” said Athena, prophetically.
“I can’t believe I just broke another plate,” said Hercules, remorsefully.
“This toga is so itchy,” said Medusa, cold-bloodedly.
“I’ll have a glass of ouzo,” said Dionysus, spiritlessly.
“I’m really not feeling well,” said Apollo, sickeningly.
“I need to find a better hiding spot for my golden fleece,” said Jason, sheepishly.
“I really need to catch up on my reading,” said Socrates, philosophically.
“I’m definitely feeling the burn after that workout,” said Zeus, light-heartedly.
“I’ll have the feta omelette,” said Aphrodite, cheesily.
“I’ll never get lost again with this new map,” said Odysseus, directionally.
“I think I lost my sandals again,” said Persephone, soulfully.
“I can’t believe I got turned into a swan,” said Leda, wingedly.
“I can’t find my helmet anywhere,” said Achilles, headlessly.
“I’ll take the minotaur out for a walk,” said Theseus, bullishly.
“I really need to work on my pottery skills,” said Demeter, clayfully.
“I feel like I’m running on air,” said Hermes, light-footedly.
“I think I swallowed some saltwater,” said Poseidon, oceanically.
“I’ll have the calamari,” said Polyphemus, squidiculously.
“I need to schedule a water break in between battles,” said Ares, punchily.

Olive you laugh with these Greek knock-knock jokes!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Greek. Greek who? Greek to meet you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive Greek mythology!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gyro. Gyro who? Gyro-tta be kidding me, you haven’t heard of Greek gyros?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zeus. Zeus who? Zeus your imagination and come up with your own joke.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Feta. Feta who? Feta chance to make a Greek cheese pun.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Parthenon. Parthenon who? Parthenon your mind, but I think Greece is a great place to visit.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hera. Hera who? Hera come the jokes about Greek gods and goddesses!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Socrates. Socrates who? Socrates always said Greece was the most philosophical place to be.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nymph. Nymph who? Nymph point in telling a Greek myth if I don’t know who I’m talking about.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Aegeus. Aegeus who? Aegeus got some great ideas for our next vacation in Greece.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pegasus. Pegasus who? Pegasus for the love of all things Greek, tell me a joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olympus. Olympus who? Olympus and down the mountainside we go!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hades. Hades who? Hades no fury like a Greek god scorned.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apollo. Apollo who? Apollo-gize for telling a cheesy Greek joke.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gaea. Gaea who? Gaea-gorgeous views in Greece.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Athena. Athena who? Athena good reason to learn about Greek mythology.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Opa. Opa who? Opa-locka, I guess this joke didn’t make sense after all.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mediterranean. Mediterranean who? Mediterranean food is the best part of visiting Greece.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kefalonia. Kefalonia who? Kefalonia think of a better joke?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Poseidon. Poseidon who? Poseidon my mind, I can’t think of another Greek pun right now.

Opa! That’s a wrap on Greek puns.

So there you have it, folks- 210+ puns about Greek! We hope you had a “gyro”-tic time and that these jokes made you “Olympus” with laughter. But don’t “Hera”-ld the end just yet- be sure to check out our other pun-derful posts for more “Greece”-ful wordplay. Thanks for “myth”-ing out on these groan-worthy jokes with us!