Time to Laugh: 200+ Hilarious Clock Jokes & Puns

funny Clock jokes with one liner clever Clock puns at PunnyFunny.com

Welcome to the ultimate list of clock jokes and puns! Get ready to tickle your funny bone with this collection of clever and positive jokes that are sure to keep you laughing for hours. Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, these jokes are perfect for all ages. So without further ado, let’s get this humorous party started! Get your hands on this best list of clock humor, because time is ticking and these jokes won’t last forever!

Time to Laugh Out Loud: Our Top ‘Clock’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

  1. Why did the clock get arrested? Because it tocked too much!
  2. What did the clock say to the watch? “Hands up!”
  3. How does a clock return a gift? It gives back tock-ens!
  4. Why did the clock go to the doctor? Because it had tick-tocks!
  5. Why was the clock worried about his future? Because it was ticking away!
  6. What do you call a clock that’s always late? A tardy-clock!
  7. How do you fix a broken clock? You give it a second-hand!
  8. What did the big hand say to the little hand on the clock? “Can I give you a hand?”
  9. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds!
  10. Why did the clock choose to stay inside? It was afraid to go clockwise!
  11. What is a clock’s favorite snack? Tick-tock pop corn!
  12. What do you call a chicken that tells time? A cluckin-clock!
  13. What time is it when an elephant sits on your clock? Time to get a new clock!
  14. Why was the clock afraid of heights? Because it was afraid of ticking butterfly’s!
  15. What did the digital clock say to the analog clock? “Want to hang out sometime?”
  16. Why was the tired clock always yawning? Because it was always winding down!
  17. What do you get when you cross a clock with a bird? A cuckoo clock!
  18. Did you hear about the sick clock? It went back 2 ticks and forward one tock!
  19. How did the clock win the race? It had the best time!
  20. Why did the clock go on strike? It wanted more time off!

Tickle your funny bone with these clever ‘clock’ one-liner jokes!

  1. Why was the clock feeling unmotivated? It was just going through the motions.
  2. How do you know when it’s time to go to the dentist? When your tooth-hurty.
  3. I finally invested in a self-cleaning clock. It’s about time.
  4. I have a clock that talks, but it never shuts up. It’s always telling me to “watch” my language.
  5. What do you call a clock that has problems? Tick-tick-tock-tick.
  6. Why did the man put his clock in the oven? He wanted to have a hot minute.
  7. I’m never late, everyone else is just early for the next minute.
  8. My boss asked me why I was always late. I told him I was just exercising my right to be fashionably late.
  9. Why did the clock go on a diet? It wanted to be a little lighter.
  10. The clock was tired of being wound up all the time, so it retired.
  11. I used to hate math, but then I realized it really adds up.
  12. Did you hear about the man who had five watches? He tried to start a new trend, but it never caught on.
  13. I asked my clock what time it was and it said “Sorry, I’m not in the mood right now.”
  14. Why did the clock go to therapy? It had a lot of issues with its hands.
  15. Did you hear about the clock who went back four seconds? It wanted to be a little behind.
  16. Why did the clock go to the doctor? It had too many ticks.
  17. The clock always had trouble making decisions. It was too hands-on.
  18. Why couldn’t the clock make it to the party on time? It didn’t have time to get ready.
  19. What did the clock say when it was asked if it wanted to go for a walk? “I’m ticked off!”
  20. How do you fix a broken clock? You can’t, it’s just a matter of time before it goes back to being broken again.

Tickle Your Funny Bone with QnA Clock Jokes & Puns!

  1. Q: What did the clock say to the watch? A: “Hands down, I’m the most reliable timepiece.”
  2. Q: How does a clock stay in shape? A: It watches its weight.
  3. Q: Why did the clock go to therapy? A: It was feeling ticked off.
  4. Q: How did the clock feel when it was thrown out the window? A: It was already wound up.
  5. Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? A: “Look, no hands!”
  6. Q: Why was the clock sent to detention? A: For ticking off the teacher.
  7. Q: What did the antique clock say to the museum curator? A: “I’m a timeless piece.”
  8. Q: Why was the clock banned from the library? A: It was too loud-ticking.
  9. Q: How did the clock win the race against the sundial? A: It had a second hand advantage.
  10. Q: What did the broken clock say to its owner? A: “Sorry, I’m just going through a rough time.”
  11. Q: How does a clock always know when it’s hungry? A: When its hands are pointing to lunchtime.
  12. Q: Why did the clock join a gym? A: It was tired of just hanging around all day.
  13. Q: What did the digital clock say to its reflection? A: “You have a lot of digits too.”
  14. Q: How did the clock become popular? A: It had a lot of face-time.
  15. Q: Why is a clock like a person from Ohio? A: Because it has a big hand and a little hand.
  16. Q: Why was the clock kicked out of the drum circle? A: It couldn’t keep the right tempo.
  17. Q: How did the clock get a job at the bakery? A: It had a lot of hands-on experience.
  18. Q: What did the alarm clock say to the snooze button? A: “Why do you always push my buttons?”
  19. Q: Why did the clock go to therapy? A: It was having a hard time keeping up with the times.
  20. Q: What did the talking clock’s therapist say? A: “I hear your time’s been difficult.”

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Wise Words about ‘Clock’!

  1. Time flies like an arrow, but my alarm clock flies like a snooze button.
  2. A watched clock never moves, but a neglected one always runs out of batteries.
  3. Old clocks never die, they just tick away.
  4. A clock always tells the truth, unless it’s set to daylight savings.
  5. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese from the mousetrap.
  6. Life is short, but it’s even shorter when your boss is watching the clock.
  7. A broken clock is right twice a day, but a broken watch is just a wrist accessory.
  8. The hands on the clock may move in circles, but our lives should always move forward.
  9. It’s not the clock’s fault you slept in, it just kept ticking like it was supposed to.
  10. Time heals all wounds, except for wounds caused by accidentally hitting snooze.
  11. The clock may strike midnight, but that doesn’t mean the pumpkin carriage shows up.
  12. Time is money, but my clock is always running behind on paying me back.
  13. Watches are like relationships, they only work when all the pieces move together.
  14. Love is like a clock, it’s always better when the hands are connected.
  15. Friends are like a clock, they slow down the hours, but make the days go by faster.
  16. Never judge a clock by its cover, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
  17. A stitch in time saves nine, but a broken watch requires a new battery.
  18. Time is precious, but so is a good nap.
  19. The early bird may get the worm, but the night owl gets the best pizza delivery deals.
  20. A wise man once said, “Time flies when you’re having fun, but stands still when you’re stuck in traffic.”

Tickling your Funny Bone: Dad Jokes about Clocks

  1. What did the clock say to the calendar when they argued? “Don’t worry, we’ll just work it out.”
  2. Why was the clock so bad at keeping time? It was always ticking in the wrong direction.
  3. Did you hear about the jokes the clock made? They were timeless.
  4. I wanted to buy a new clock, but couldn’t find the time.
  5. Did you know that time flies? It must be doing acrobatics in my clock.
  6. Why did the clock go back four seconds? It was running late.
  7. I wanted to tell you a joke about daylight savings, but I lost an hour trying to come up with one.
  8. What do you call a clock that’s always sleepy? An alarm clock.
  9. How do you make a clock laugh? You tickle its hands.
  10. What’s a clock’s favorite music genre? Tick-tock.
  11. Why did the clock’s hands get in a fight? They just couldn’t agree on what time it was.
  12. Did you hear about the angry clock? It went “tik tok you’re out of time!”
  13. Why did the boss fire the clock? It was always clocking out early.
  14. What did the happy clock say in the morning? “Good morning, hands!”
  15. Why did the clock go to the dance party? It wanted to show off its best moves.
  16. What kind of tea does a clock drink? Tick-tea!
  17. Why was the clock always nervous? It was constantly under pressure.
  18. How did the hour hand ask the minute hand for a favor? He gave it a little hand.
  19. Did you hear about the lazy clock? It only went around once a day.
  20. What do you call a clock on roller skates? Tik-Tok-Toe!

Tick, Tock… Double the Fun with these Clock Double Entendres and Puns!

  1. “I set my clock to rock o’clock, but it just kept ticking.”
  2. “What did the clock say when it was hungry? ‘I’m two hands and a face short of a meal.'”
  3. “Why did the alarm clock have a headache? Because it spent all night ringing.”
  4. “My boss is like a broken clock, always right twice a day.”
  5. “I have a clock that only tells time in military hours. It’s my 24-7 clock.”
  6. “Why was the clock always afraid? Because it was always ticking.”
  7. “I got in trouble for buying an old clock. My wife said it was a waste of time.”
  8. “The clock factory went out of business because they couldn’t keep up with the times.”
  9. “What do you call a funny clock? A laughing stock.”
  10. “I set my clock to wake up early, but I hit snooze and ended up late. It’s like hitting the snooze button was a time warp.”
  11. “Why are there no clocks in the gym? Because time doesn’t matter when you’re working out.”
  12. “My boss asked why I was always late. I told her I was stuck in a time warp.”
  13. “Why did the clock go to therapy? It had time management issues.”
  14. “Time flies when you’re having fun, and apparently my clock is too because it’s always ahead.”
  15. “I have a clock that tells time in dog years. It’s my pug clock.”
  16. “I sold my expensive grandfather clock for a penny. But it was worth every cent.”
  17. “Why did the clock go to work late? Because it was having a second hand problem.”
  18. “My alarm clock has become my morning arch-nemesis, but I’ll keep hitting snooze.”
  19. “Time waits for no one, except for my clock which is always running late.”
  20. “My parents never wanted me to play with a toy clock. They said it was a big waste of time.”

Tick Tock, These Recursive Puns about Clocks Never Stop!

  1. Why did the clock go back in time? Because it wanted to watch its old tick-tocks again.
  2. What do you call a group of clocks that are always nagging you? A tick-tock-tock-tocks.
  3. Why couldn’t the clock go to the party? Because it was all wound up.
  4. Why did the clock have a hard time falling asleep? Because it couldn’t stop ticking about the next day.
  5. What do you get when you cross a clock and a chicken? A tick-tocking crockin’.
  6. Why did the clock quit its job? It was tired of working 24/7.
  7. What did the clock say to the snooze button? Stop pressing my buttons, will ya?
  8. Why was the clock worried it was going to be replaced? Because the hands were pointing towards unemployment.
  9. What do you do when your clock stops working? Give it a second wind.
  10. Why did the grandfather clock get mad at its owner? Because they kept calling it a ticking time bomb.
  11. What’s a clock’s favorite activity? Second-hand shopping.
  12. How does a clock get in shape? By running out of time.
  13. What did the clock say when it was hungry? I could use a second hand.
  14. Why did the clock always hang out with the calculator? Because they liked to crunch numbers together.
  15. What do you call a clock that’s always in debt? Tick-tock-fragile.
  16. What did the wall say to the clock after their argument? Let’s just face it, we’re stuck together.
  17. Why were the clock’s siblings always envious of it? Because it had hands and they didn’t.
  18. What’s the difference between a clock and a candle? One is time-consuming, the other is wax-consuming.
  19. Why couldn’t the clock win the marathon? Because it was too hour-glassed.
  20. What’s a clock’s favorite type of bread? Tikka-bread.

Time for a Good Laugh: Clocking in with Hilarious Malapropisms

  1. “I can’t wait to go into town and set my wristwatch on the grandfather clock.”
  2. “I just realized my alarm clock is actually a cowbell.”
  3. “Don’t forget to set your sundial for daylight savings time.”
  4. “I love listening to the sound of crickets on my clock radio.”
  5. “Can you pass the thyme on the cuckoo clock?”
  6. “I accidentally spilled milk on my pocket clock and now it’s ticking extra creamy.”
  7. “I need to change the battery in my time machine.”
  8. “It’s time for my annual spring clock cleaning.”
  9. “I have a feeling my boss is watching me through his clocker.”
  10. “I always forget to check the hands of my water clock.”
  11. “I need to wind my wall clock because it’s feeling a bit wound up.”
  12. “My brother stays up all night playing his gameboy clock.”
  13. “I’m running late, my phone clock is on farmer time.”
  14. “I accidentally set my timer for 24 horse-power.”
  15. “I prefer using a handkerchief over my sundial – it’s more accurate.”
  16. “I spilled coffee on my Fitbit and now it’s on bacon time.”
  17. “My cooking always turns into a grand clock-fail party.”
  18. “I think I have a crush on the handsome clockmaker next door.”
  19. “My cuckoo clock is stuck on silent mode – it’s a real party pooper.”
  20. “I set my wristwatch to International Standard Time, but I forgot which country that is.”

Tick Tock gets twisted with these Spoonerisms about Clock!

  1. Sock Lock
  2. Rock Clock
  3. Flock Clock
  4. Dock Clog
  5. Jock Lock
  6. Cuck Flock
  7. Mock Sock
  8. Tock Lock
  9. Frock Jock
  10. Lock Sock
  11. Glock Jock
  12. Knock Shock
  13. Lock Hock
  14. Clock Hock
  15. Bock Clock
  16. Block Sock
  17. Stock Mop
  18. Clock Smock
  19. Hoc Croc
  20. Squawk Cog

Tick-tock goes the ‘time’-ing bomb in Clock Tom Swifties!

  1. “I can’t believe someone stole my watch,” Tom clocked.
  2. “We’re running late for the movie,” Tom sighed around the clock.
  3. “I need to set an alarm for my nap,” Tom drowsily ticked.
  4. “I heard someone broke into the clock tower,” Tom chimed in.
  5. “I overslept again,” Tom snoozed off the clock.
  6. “Why did the farmer keep his watch in the barn?” Tom asked in a timely manner.
  7. “I can’t find my wristwatch,” Tom looked around the clock.
  8. “Who keeps playing with the cuckoo clock?” Tom cooed.
  9. “I forgot to wind the grandfather clock,” Tom grandfathered.
  10. “I don’t have time for this,” Tom clocked out.
  11. “Why did the clock get kicked out of the club?” Tom chuckled.
  12. “I always get confused with military time,” Tom declared at oh-too-hundred hours.
  13. “This new clock is so advanced,” Tom modernly remarked.
  14. “Why did the clock change its name to ‘Boom’?” Tom boomed.
  15. “I can’t stop obsessing over time,” Tom timed.
  16. “Who keeps resetting my alarm?” Tom accused.
  17. “I can’t decide which clock to buy,” Tom stalled.
  18. “Why did the wristwatch quit its job?” Tom resigned.
  19. “I can’t believe my clock only runs on a battery,” Tom charged.
  20. “I can’t take this clock anymore,” Tom ticked off.

Killing time with hilarious Knock-knock Jokes (Knock, knock. Who’s there?) about ‘Clock’

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-icidal maniac, just killed time.
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock, stock, and barrel – I’m all wound up.
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-ula, the vampire who works graveyard shifts.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-is Rogan, here to tell you some off-the-wall jokes.
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-ow, I just stubbed my toe on this cuckoo clock!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clocker spaniel, always running late for dinner.
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-a-doodle-doo, time for breakfast!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-tail party – I heard there will be some good times.
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-in’ in for my shift as a joke writer.
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-mon top of the world!
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-in the face, again! How many times is that today?
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-star, always running at top speed.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clocka-Cola, the only drink that makes time fly.
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clockwork orange – the perfect fruit for timing your day.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-out, time to go home and tell these jokes to my friends.
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clockiavelli, the mastermind behind all great jokes.
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-ed up and ready to rock this comedy stage.
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-olate, my favorite treat to snack on while writing jokes.
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock-work harder, and you’ll have time for more jokes.
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock it, let’s just enjoy the moment and laugh at these funny jokes.

Time’s Up for These Tickling Clock Puns!

Well folks, it’s about time to wrap up this pun-tastic post! I hope these clock jokes and puns have tickled your funny bone and made you snicker until your face turned as red as a tomato-timer. But don’t set your alarms just yet, because there are plenty more hilarious puns and jokes waiting for you to discover in our other related posts. So go ahead and click on those links, and before you know it, you’ll be laughing so hard, you’ll have to watch out for side stitches! Until next time, keep the puns clocking and the jokes ticking.

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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