Bank on Laughs: 200+ Witty Banking Jokes & Puns
Looking for some laughter in the world of finance? Look no further! We’ve compiled a list of the best banking puns and jokes that are sure to make you chuckle. Get ready to laugh your assets off with this clever and positive collection of humor. Trust us, these jokes will definitely interest rate you. So sit back, relax, and enjoy these hilarious jokes and puns about banking. And who knows, it might just put a smile on your banker’s face too!
Not Just for Savings – The Hilarious Side of Banking: Editor’s Picks for Banking Puns & Jokes!
- Why do banks have tall buildings? Because they have a lot of interest!
- I heard there’s a new bank opening up. I hope it’s on the right side of the money.
- Did you hear about the bank that closed down? It ran out of coin.
- Why did the banker quit his job? He lost interest.
- I went to deposit some money at the bank the other day, but they told me it was too little, too lira.
- Why did the banker go to therapy? He had a lot of issues to sort out.
- I asked my bank for financial advice, but all they gave me was a blank check.
- I was going to rob a bank, but then I realized they already do that to us.
- What did the borrower say to the lender at the bank? Can I borrow a pen?
- I tried to withdraw some cash from the ATM, but it told me “insufficient funds”. So I pushed it over. Now it’s got insufficient gravity.
- Why did the banker go to jail? He was accused of money laundering.
- I asked the bank teller if they had any safety deposit boxes, and she said “I don’t know, let me check.”
- What do you call a banker in a three-piece suit? Overdressed.
- How does a bank win an award? By having the most interest-ing services.
- What did one dollar say to the other dollar at the bank? Long time no see, I’ve been your ten’s companion.
- I went to get a loan at the bank, but they said I needed a co-signer. So I called my dad and he said no. He’s my designated «no-signer».
- A man walks into a bank and asks to deposit his jokes. The teller says “Sorry sir, we don’t accept dad humor.”
- Why did the cookie go to the bank? To get a loan because he was feeling crumbly.
- Did you hear about the bank that was robbed by a group of mime artists? The police had a hard time catching them because they didn’t say anything.
- If a bank ever asks me for my password, I’m just gonna tell them it’s “incorrect”. That way, they’ll never get in.
Get your LOLs and capital gains with these funny banking one-liner jokes!
- Why did the bank teller quit her job? She lost interest.
- I asked my bank for a financial advisor, but all they gave me was a leaflet.
- Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to gambling? It suffered from withdrawals.
- I tried to make a deposit at the bank, but they said I needed money.
- What did the banker say to the criminal? You can’t just take loans on things that aren’t yours.
- I tried to open a joint account with my wife, but they said she had to be present. Apparently, it’s not allowed to put someone’s hand in their pocket without their consent.
- My friend opened a sperm bank, but it wasn’t successful – nobody came.
- They say crime doesn’t pay, but have you ever tried robbing a bank?
- Why was the bank closed on Halloween? Because they were adding up their ghoulish profits.
- How do you know a banker is outgoing? He’s an extrofi-ATM.
- I asked the bank manager for a credit card. He said, “Don’t you have one already? You’re always in debt.”
- I have a bank account that requires two forms of ID to withdraw money. I know this because I recently lost my wallet and received a note saying, “Love from your bank.”
- My friend asked me to go to the sperm bank with him. I refused – I prefer to make deposits in person.
- Why did the bank employee take a ladder to work? To climb the corporate ladder.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of bank? A feathered institution.
- How do you like your own bank account? You have to put something in before taking anything out.
- The only bank where you lose interest by depositing money is the sperm bank.
- Why did the bank robber dress up in a jester costume? He wanted some laughs with his withdrawals.
- How do banks stay cool during the summer? They invest in AC units.
- I don’t trust banks, they always try to take interest in everything I do.
Laugh All the Way to the Bank with These Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about Banking!
- Q: Why did the banker go to jail? A: Because he was a loan ranger.
- Q: What did the ATM say when it saw the bank robbers? A: I’m feeling quite withdrawn.
- Q: What do you call a pig that does banking? A: A piggy bank.
- Q: How can you tell if a bank is failing? A: You’ll see signs of interest.
- Q: What did one penny say to the other? A: Let’s make some cents meet at the bank.
- Q: Why did the banker quit his job? A: He lost interest.
- Q: What do you call a bank robber who steals candy? A: A sweet-tooth thief.
- Q: Why did the banker carry a step stool? A: Because he wanted to reach a higher interest rate.
- Q: Why was the banker arrested at the airport? A: They found out he was laundering money.
- Q: What do you call a cow that does banking? A: A cash cow.
- Q: What did the teller say when the customer asked to deposit a check? A: Sorry, it’s not in my account-ability.
- Q: Why did the pig go to the bank? A: To get his snout out of debt.
- Q: How do banks make money? A: By lending you an umbrella when the sun is shining and taking it back when it starts to rain.
- Q: What did the bank teller say to the tree? A: Can you leaf your deposit here?
- Q: Why was the banker always calm? A: He had a lot of savings.
- Q: Why couldn’t the new account register for online banking? A: Because he didn’t have an IPIN (eye-pen).
- Q: What’s a bank’s favorite type of math? A: Interest-ing.
- Q: Why was the loan officer so good at poker? A: He knew when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.
- Q: What did the customer say when the teller asked for their ID? A: I’m not a bank robber, I just have expensive taste.
- Q: Why shouldn’t you trust a bank vault? A: Because it has trust issues.
Bank on Laughter: Hilarious Proverbs & Wise Sayings About Banking
- “A penny saved is a penny earned, but a dollar invested is a dollar earned interest in the bank.”
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees, but it sure seems to disappear from my bank account like leaves in the fall.”
- “You can’t buy happiness, but you can certainly buy a lot of things that make you temporarily forget your bank balance.”
- “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless that basket has a high interest rate.”
- “Banks may have strict security measures, but they seem to have a loophole when it comes to charging fees.”
- “A fool and his money are easily parted, but a banker and his fees are never parted.”
- “A dollar saved is a dollar earned, but a dollar invested is a dollar lost to bank fees.”
- “Money talks, but all mine ever says is ‘goodbye’ when I check my bank balance.”
- “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but it’s even better to have money in the bank.”
- “A wise man once said, ‘Never trust a bank that has a coin slot in the door.'”
- “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but a bank account with interest is worth ten birds in your hand.”
- Experience is the best teacher, but bank statements are the ultimate reality check.
- “If you want to know the value of money, try borrowing some from the bank.”
- “A penny saved is a penny earned, unless it’s in a savings account earning interest, then it’s like earning two pennies.”
- “Opportunity only knocks once, but overdraft fees seem to knock multiple times a day.”
- “Never put off tomorrow what you can do today, except transferring funds from your savings to your checking account, that can wait.”
- “The early bird gets the worm, but the early bird also pays the ATM withdrawal fee.”
- “Money makes the world go round, but sometimes it just feels like it’s endlessly spinning in the bank’s vault.”
- “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, but definitely count your money before it disappears from your bank account.”
- “Saving money is like dieting, it’s easy to start but hard to maintain, especially when there’s a sale at the mall.”
Making deposits of laughter with these dad jokes about banking
- Why was the bank accountant always so happy? Because he had a lot of interest in his work!
- I asked the banker for a loan to buy a boat, but he told me I didn’t have enough collateral. I guess I’ll just have to wave goodbye to that dream.
- Did you hear about the bank teller who got fired? She got caught stealing pens, but she kept needles-ing to get them back.
- Why did the banker go to jail? For excessive withdrawal!
- I went to the bank to deposit a check, and the teller asked for my joke as well. I told her it was a pretty good return on investment.
- How do you make a small fortune in the stock market? Start with a big one and invest in my dad’s jokes.
- Why did the bank robbers go to jail? Because they needed some cash-time.
- My friend asked me for directions to the nearest ATM, but I told him I couldn’t help because I’m not a GPS (Global Positioning Service).
- Did you hear about the bank that closed down? It just didn’t have enough interest.
- Why did the ATMs stop talking to each other? They had a falling out and couldn’t make any transactional jokes.
- I saw a sign outside the bank that said “Walk-in safe”. I thought it was just a normal safe, but when I walked in, it closed and locked behind me.
- What’s a bank’s favorite vacation destination? The Bank of the Nile.
- Did you hear about the two banks that got married? It was an interest-ing union.
- Why did the pig go to the bank? To make a deposit before his trip to the Sow-uthern Hemisphere.
- What did the dollar say to the coin in the ATM? You remind me of myself when I was younger.
- Did you hear about the banker who was always overworked? He had too much interest on his plate.
- Why was the bank manager feeling so confident? Because he really knew how to balance the books.
- I heard they’re opening a new bank just for pirates. It’s called “Arrrrrrr and Be-very Rich Bank”.
- Why did the bank vault get arrested? For conspiracy to hold cash hostages.
- When I asked the bank teller if they had any loans to help me start my own business, he said, “Sorry, we’re not in the art business.”
Making a Withdrawal from the World of Banking: Double Entendres and Puns Galore!
- “I’m a banker, so I know how to handle your assets.”
- “Looks like we’ve made a real deposit with this new account.”
- “Let me balance your checkbook, I’m an expert at finding the right figures.”
- “I’m a safe bet for managing your money.”
- “I always excel when it comes to financial matters.”
- “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered like insurance on a loan.”
- “I’m not just a banker, I’m also a loan ranger.”
- “With my financial advice, you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.”
- “I may be a banker, but I’m not one to bank on luck.”
- “I’m always looking out for my clients’ bottom line.”
- “I may work in finance, but that doesn’t mean I have to be boring.”
- “I have a knack for making money talk.”
- “My savings account is like my love life, always in a state of withdrawal.”
- “Banking isn’t just about numbers, it’s also about making cents of it all.”
- “I’ll count on you to make the right investments.”
- “Being a banker is a risky business, but I love taking chances.”
- “I make bank every day, and I’m not talking about my paycheck.”
- “I’m like the Sherlock Holmes of banking, always solving financial mysteries.”
- “Sometimes in life, you have to take a leap of faith, or in my case, a loan.”
- “Being a banker comes with its own set of perks, like being able to count to infinity on my fingers.”
Bank on These Hilarious Recursive Puns about Banking!
- Why did the bank always have extra cash? Because it was a loan shark.
- When I found out my ATM was out of cash, I was really taking it hard.
- Did you hear about the banker who opened a restaurant? It was a money laundering operation.
- They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but if you leave it in a bank account long enough, it starts to accrue interest.
- Why did the banker refuse to accept my deposit? He said it was a depository, not a (de)prository.
- I asked the bank teller for some spare change, but she told me she had no pennies to spare.
- What do you call a loan taken out to buy a new hat? A cap-ital investment.
- I tried to deposit my paycheck, but it bounced back. I guess I’ll just have to rebound from this financial setback.
- What did the ATM say to the customer withdrawing money? “I hope this withdrawal brings you some positive (c)interest.”
- Why was Cinderella a poor bank customer? Because she always ran out of liquidity at midnight.
- Did you hear about the banker who fell into a pile of coins? He was rolling in the dough.
- What do you call a retiree’s bank account? A resting balance.
- How did the banker feel when he won the lottery? He was over-draft with happiness.
- Why couldn’t the shoe get a loan? It had a bad sole.
- What do you call a group of bankrupt bankers? A financial crash mob.
- I asked my bank for a loan to start a business making submarines, but they told me it wasn’t a liquid asset.
- Why did the bank teller quit her job? She was tired of dealing with all those cash-us fees.
- My uncle works at the World Bank, but I’m not sure if he’s a mint-llionaire or just a coin-artist.
- What’s a bank robber’s favorite piece of clothing? A cashmere sweater.
- Did you hear about the bank that started giving loans to anyone who applied? They were really trying to diversify their portfolio, but it ended up being a credit crisis.
Unleashing the ‘Savings’ Faux Pas: Hilarious Banking Malapropisms!
- “I made a deposit at the bread – I mean, bank.”
- “I’m feeling ATM-nous today.”
- “I need to check my ballance before I buy anything.”
- “I overdrafted my chicken instead of my chick.”
- “I’ll just use my debit card to pay for this checktopper.”
- “I bought some stonks at the stork market.”
- “Can I get a withdrawal slip for this sand- I mean, savings account?”
- “I invested in a piggy bank instead of the real estate market.”
- “I think someone stole my banana – I mean, PIN number.”
- “I’ll have to ask my bank mommy if I can have a loan.”
- “I accidentally wrote my check using invisible ink – it’s a blank check.”
- “I thought my debit card was expired, but it was actually toasted.”
- “I’ll have to withdraw funds from my mattress account.”
- “I almost transferred money to the wrong account – I mean, ex-girlfriend.”
- “I need to update my online baking information.”
- “I made a large withdrawal from my savings just to splurge on avocado toast.”
- “My investments are all tied up in pork bellies – I mean, stocks and bonds.”
- “I got a great interest rate on my credit car loan – I mean, car loan.”
- “I think someone hacked into my account – I have multiple charges for ‘shoe lifts’.”
- “I’ll have to write a check for my rent – I haven’t quite mastered the Venmo-mo-meter yet.”
Banking Bloopers: Hilarious Spoonerisms about the Financial World
- “Crash Bash” instead of “Cash Brash”
- “Spend Trust” instead of “Tend Rush”
- “Fee Sink” instead of “See Think”
- “Olden Creditor” instead of “Golden Predator”
- “Bland Winterest” instead of “Wink Blindest”
- “Lend Honey” instead of “Honey Blend”
- “Mortgage Maker” instead of “Marker Motto”
- “Vault Flogger” instead of “Fault Logger”
- “Account Duster” instead of “Amount Adjuster”
- “Safe Loan” instead of “Lofe Sane”
- “Pen Cash” instead of “Ken Posh”
- “Check Cain” instead of “Cain Check”
- “Debit Fard” instead of “Fetid Bard”
- “ATM Meister” instead of “Mighty Hamster”
- “Credit Hunch” instead of “Hedge Cracker”
- “PIN Ninja” instead of “Ninjap In”
- “Bank Brunch” instead of “Bunch Bran”
- “Teller Smack” instead of “Smeller Tack”
- “Loan Ping” instead of “Pone Ling”
- “Cash Lavisher” instead of “Lash Caviar”
Tom Swiftly Solves Banking Woes with His Financially Savvy Mind!
- “I need to withdraw some cash,” said Tom banklessly.
- “Looks like the market’s going down,” sighed Tom bearishly.
- “I’ll never be able to afford that loan,” Tom declared disinterestingly.
- “I’m putting all my money into stocks,” Tom shared bullishly.
- “I think I’ll switch to a credit union,” Tom said independently.
- “My investments are really paying off,” Tom profited slyly.
- “My bank account is overdrawn,” Tom said without checks and balances.
- “I’m feeling a bit bankrupt,” Tom stated with a dollar sign.
- “That ATM machine gave me fake bills,” Tom exclaimed fictitiously.
- “I’ll have to dip into my savings,” Tom said with a dip.
- “Time to take out a mortgage,” Tom signed thoroughly.
- “I’ve got a great interest in this new account,” Tom said earnestly.
- “I’m saving up for a yacht,” Tom boated extravagantly.
- “My credit score just went up!” Tom rated happily.
- “I’m feeling quite wealthy today,” Tom affirmed with a stockpile.
- “I’m going to invest in some cryptocurrency,” Tom said cryptically.
- “I’ll have to tighten my budget this month,” Tom cinched resolutely.
- “I can’t afford to make that purchase,” Tom responded lacking means.
- “I think I’ll open a Swiss bank account,” Tom insinuated surreptitiously.
- “I made a pretty penny on the stock market today,” Tom boasted with cents of humor.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Just your friendly neighborhood banker with some great knock-knock jokes about banking!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Cash me if you can!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Invest. Invest who? Invest in your future by saving with us!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Debit card. Debit card who? Debit card never!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loan. Loan who? Loan me some money, I’m broke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penny. Penny who? Penny saved is a penny earned.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interest. Interest who? Interesting joke, don’t you think?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Savings. Savings who? Savings up for a rainy day.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Deposit. Deposit who? Deposit my paycheck, please!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Withdrawal. Withdrawal who? Withdrawal my last dollar, now I’m broke.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bank fees. Bank fees who? Bank fees are no laughing matter.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? ATM. ATM who? ATM so glad to see you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Credit score. Credit score who? Credit score doesn’t define me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Loan officer. Loan officer who? Loan officer says I can’t afford that.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mortgage. Mortgage who? Mortgage paid off? That’s a joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Line of credit. Line of credit who? Line of credit? I don’t have one.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Checking. Checking who? Checking my balance is always a sad moment.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Active account. Active account who? Active account? More like ‘account always empty’!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Credit card. Credit card who? Credit card declined? That’s not funny.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interest rates. Interest rates who? Interest rates are always rising, but my salary is not.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Investment. Investment who? Investment in my financial future is a priority.
Dough-nt Let These Banking Jokes Bankrupt You!
Alright folks, that wraps up our top 200+ puns and jokes about banking! It’s been a checking account filled with entertainment and plenty of laughs. But don’t bank on these being the only puns and jokes out there, be sure to deposit some time into reading other related posts for even more witty humor. And remember, money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes for some great puns!