Full Steam Ahead: 210+ Ship Jokes & Puns to Keep You Anchored in Laughter

Ahoy there all ye landlubbers and sea dogs! Avast, for I have a list of the best ship jokes and puns that are sure to have you chuckling like a sailor. If you’re feeling down and need a good pick-me-up, these jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike. From clever puns to positive humor, this list has it all. So batten down the hatches and prepare to set sail with some hilarious jokes about ships. These puns may not float everyone’s boat, but they’re definitely worth a laugh. So hoist up the anchor and let’s get ready for some seaworthy humor!

funny Ship jokes with one liner clever Ship puns at PunnyFunny.com

Anchors Aweigh: Ship Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks for a Laugh-Filled Voyage

Why did the sailor name his boat “Funny Bone”? Because it always tickled him!
Did you hear about the ship that got a job as a detective? It’s always on the lookout for clues.
How does a ship go to therapy? It sails its problems away.
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Sea shanties, of course!
How does a ship greet a lighthouse? With a wave!
Why do ships make great comedians? They’re always ready to tell some sea-worthy jokes.
How do ships communicate with each other in a storm? They use ship-to-ship messaging.
Did you hear about the ship that got a speeding ticket? Turns out it was caught sailing over the speed limit.
What do you call a ship that’s also a lion tamer? A sea lion.
Why were the pirates arguing about the steering wheel? They were having a ship-steering contest.
How does a ship keep its crew entertained on long voyages? With a deck of cards, of course.
What’s a ship’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-marinara.
How does a ship become an artist? It masters the art of sailing.
Why did the ship break up with the lighthouse? It wasn’t a good long-distance relationship.
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s “Arrr,” but it’s really the “C” (sea).
How many sailors does it take to change a lightbulb on a ship? None, they just use a lantern.
Why do ships make great athletes? They’re always in ship-shape.
What do you call a pirate who can’t swim? A sunken sea-captain.
What do you call a ship that’s also a musician? A sail-a-phone.
Why did the sailor quit his job? He thought it was time to throw in the anchor.

Smooth Sailin’ with These Hilarious ‘Ship’ One-Liners

Did you hear about the boat that ran aground? It ended up getting a ‘ship’-wrecked reputation.
Why did the pirate quit his job on the cruise ship? He couldn’t handle the ‘ship’-board drama.
I don’t trust cruise ships, they seem to always be ‘ship’-shaped for disaster.
Why did the ship captain go to the doctor? He was experiencing ‘ship’-less bowel movements.
What did the ocean say to the sinking ship? Nothing, it just ‘wave’-ed goodbye.
Why was the ship’s chef so popular? He always knew how to ‘sea’-food properly.
Did you hear about the ship that ran into the iceberg? It was definitely ‘ice’-olated from the rest of the fleet.
How did the ships communicate with each other during battle? They used ‘signal’-flags.
What kind of ice cream do ships like? N’aval’-nilla.
Why did the ship’s crew get into a fight? They were arguing over who had the best ‘ship’-mates.
I don’t understand why ships have anchors, they always seem to be ‘boat’-ing around anyways.
What did one pirate say to the other when they saw a ship on the horizon? “Arrr, looks like they’re about to get a ‘broad’-side.”
Why did the ship’s captain have trouble sleeping? He kept having ‘deck’-mares.
Did you hear about the new trendy cruise ship? It’s so luxurious, they even have a ‘yacht’-y club on board.
Why did the cruise ship cancel its trip? They were worried about getting ‘cruise’-ed by a storm.
I never trust boats with eyes, they always seem to be ‘watch’-ing me.
Why did the ship’s crew get demoted? They kept getting ‘mast’-aken orders.
What is a pirate’s favorite way to communicate? Through ‘sea’-cret messages in a bottle.
I don’t understand why sailors are always singing, do they think they’re in a ‘boat’ band or something?
Why was the cargo ship always late? It kept getting ‘container’-dicted.

Can You Handle These QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘Ship’ or Will You Abandon Ship-laughter?

Q: Why did the boat break up with the cruise ship? A: It couldn’t handle the constant waves of commitment.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic? A: “You just sank my chances of winning ‘Ship of the Year’!”
Q: What do you call a boat that’s afraid of commitments? A: A ferry-single.
Q: How do ships make jokes? A: They use their sea-wit.
Q: What did the cargo ship say when it saw a pirate ship? A: “Oh ship!”
Q: How do you know when a ship is really into you? A: It’ll make a big port-posal.
Q: Why don’t ships like to hang out with submarines? A: They’re too deep for them.
Q: What did the sailor say when he lost his boat? A: “I guess it’s time to sea other ships.”
Q: How does a ship’s crew celebrate a successful voyage? A: With a dock-tail party!
Q: Why didn’t the pirates agree on which ship to attack? A: They were all too buoys-y arguing about it.
Q: What did the dock foreman say when a ship crashed into the dock? A: “That’s gonna cost a shipload to fix.”
Q: How does a ship get rid of a pesky seagull? A: It gives him the cold shoulder.
Q: Did you hear about the two ships that got into a fight? A: It was a real shipwreck!
Q: How do you know if a ship is lying? A: Its cargo is yarr-ficially smuggled.
Q: What do you call a pirate ship that’s always on time? A: A-pir-ate’s watch.
Q: Why did the ship’s captain go to therapy? A: He had a lot of hang-ups.
Q: What’s a ship’s favorite weather? A: Sail-ent nights.
Q: Why was the ship’s chef fired? A: He always took his dishes too far.
Q: What do you call a ship with a lisp? A: A thip.
Q: Why did the ship get lost in the fog? A: It couldn’t sea anything!

Set sail for laughter with these Ship-shape proverbs & wise sayings!

“A smooth sea never made a skilled captain, but it did make for a great cruise.”
“Even the strongest ship can’t withstand a hurricane of bad jokes.”
“Sailing away from your problems only works if you’re on a yacht.”
“Don’t worry about the rough waters, just focus on keeping the buffet table steady.”
“A good friend is like a trustworthy first mate, always ready to throw you a life raft when you need it.”
“Anchors aweigh and pounds away, because there’s no diet on vacation.”
“The best sailors know when to drop anchor and when to drop a pun.”
“In the sea of life, it’s always better to be the captain of your own ship than just a passenger.”
“A ship is safe in port, but that’s not what ships are built for. They’re built for all-inclusive cruises.”
“A calm sea can only be appreciated after surviving a rocky sailing experience…and a few rounds of seasick medication.”
“They say the captain goes down with the ship, but I’ll be on the first lifeboat out if there’s a dessert buffet on board.”
“When the going gets tough, the tough book a luxury cruise to escape it all.”
“You can’t control the winds, but you can adjust your sails and sunscreen.”
“A ship is only as strong as its captain, crew, and unlimited drink package.”
“You can’t outrun a storm, but you can slow down and enjoy it from the safety of your stateroom balcony.”
“They say time and tide wait for no man, but neither does the breakfast buffet on a busy sea day.”
“A true sailor knows the importance of balance: one hand on the wheel, the other holding a piña colada.”
“The best views in life are seen from the deck of a ship, preferably with a drink in hand.”
“Life is like a voyage, occasionally bumpy but always better with a good sense of humor.”
“A wise captain knows when to be strict and when to let things slide…like dress codes on formal night.”

Set Sail for Laughter: Dad Jokes about Ships

Why did the cargo ship get sick? Because it had a freight fever!
I refuse to sail on poorly-made ships, they always seem to have a sinking feeling.
Did you hear about the boat that got arrested? He was charged with vessel-ness!
My friend asked me to help him move his sailboat, but I told him I’m no ferry-ding service.
Why did the captain have to stop at the store before docking? He needed some port-a-boat-y!
I asked the inventor of the ship if he had any regrets, and he said, “Naut a single one!”
Did you hear about the ship that ran aground? It was a total beaching!
I told my friend I was going to build a boat out of spaghetti, but he said it would be a pasta-failure.
Speaking of pastas, did you hear about the pirate ship that got stuck in a noodle? It was called the Ramen-Hand!
What did the ship say when it hit a berg? “Ice-berg, straight ahead!”
Why couldn’t the ship’s crew play cards? Because the captain was always standing on the deck!
Did you hear about the sailor who got slapped by an octopus? It was quite a sea-slap-tion!
My friend tried to convince me to set sail with him, but I told him I prefer to be shore of my decisions.
What did the boat say when it bumped into the lighthouse? “Sorry, I didn’t sea you there!”
Why did the cruise ship have a hard time finding parking? Because it was looking for a dock-ing station!
I heard about a ship that collided with a beach. It was a total shore thing!
What did the pirate say on his birthday? “I can’t believe I’m one year closer to the deep!”
Did you hear about the captain who traded his wheel for a set of sails? He said it was a fair trade-wind!
Why couldn’t the boat go to the party? It was all tied up.
What did the ocean say to the sailboat? “You float my boat!”

Setting Sail for Laughs: Ship Your Mind with These Double Entendre Puns!

“I’m all aboard the relationship ‘ship’, and not just for the booze!”
“I’d sail the seven seas with you any day, as long as there’s a ‘ship’ involved.”
“There’s no ‘ship’-ing out on our love, we’re in it for the long haul.”
“My ‘ship’ sails smoothly with you by my side, no rocky waters here.”
“I may not know how to swim, but I’m willing to take the plunge on this ‘ship’.”
“I’ll be your first mate anytime, all aboard the ‘ship’ of love.”
“I never thought I’d find my perfect ‘ship’ mate, but here you are.”
“Our love may have some rough seas, but I wouldn’t want to be on any other ‘ship’.”
“I may not have a captain’s hat, but I can definitely steer this ‘ship’ to a happily ever after.”
“You and I are the perfect match, our ‘ship’ never sinks.”
“Call me a pirate, because I’m ready to steal your heart and ‘ship’ it off to ours.”
“Let’s not just ply the trade winds, let’s create our own destiny on this ‘ship’ of love.”
“Who needs a compass when we have each other? Our ‘ship’ always finds its way home.”
“They say ‘ship’s come and go, but ours is here to stay, through stormy weather and sunshiny days.”
“Our love is like a sturdy ‘ship’, no matter how many holes come our way, we always stay afloat.”
“I never believed in love at first sight, until I saw you and knew you were my soulmate ‘ship’.”
“I don’t need a life vest when I have your love to keep me afloat on this ‘ship’ of ours.”
“Forget about the ‘ship’ in a bottle, our love is too big and grand for a tiny glass.”
“Our love may not have a cruise ship’s luxury, but it sure has all the passion and adventure.”
“I’m not just riding this ‘ship’ for the thrills, I’m in it for the long ride and all the love that comes with it.”

Set sail for endless laughter with these recursive puns about ships!

Why did the shipping company have a difficult time keeping track of their packages? Because they kept losing ship of them!
What did the captain say when he finally found his lost boat? “I’ve finally come full ship!”
I tried to write a joke about a cargo ship, but it just didn’t ship right.
Have you heard the one about the cruise ship that got stuck in a never-ending loop? It was quite the shippy voyage.
When I tried to organize all of my miniature ships, it was quite a task. I guess you could say I had a lot on my to-deck list.
My friend was telling me about his vacation on a luxurious yacht, but all I could think of was how over-ship it sounded.
Why did the shipping container take up yoga? It wanted to be more flexi-shippable.
They say love is like a ship, always changing and adapting to the waters. Maybe that’s why mine always seems to sink.
Whenever I’m feeling down, I like to take a trip on the friendship. It always helps me get ship-faced.
What did the sailing instructor say before the lesson started? “Let’s get this ship underway!”
My friend keeps trying to introduce me to his ship, but I can never remember her name. I guess I have a serious case of shipnesia.
What did the sailor say when he was asked about his favorite weather conditions for sailing? “I prefer it a little choppy, it keeps things more inter-shipping.”
How many pirate ships does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they’ll need a lot of matey-als.
They say cats have nine lives, but have you seen the resilience of a ship’s hull? It’s practically unfur-givable.
Did you hear the one about the ghost pirate ship? It’s quite spirited.
I heard the cruise ship has a casino, but I’m not sure if I should gamble on-sail or off.
Why do ship captains make good stand-up comedians? They always have a stern sea-nse of humor.
Did you hear about the wedding on the cruise ship? It was quite the nauti-ful ceremony.
They say the best time to buy a boat is in the fall, it’s just ship-in time for the winter season.
My friend is always telling me about his new exploration vessel, but I’m not sure how much I can en-voyage in his adventures.

Setting Sail with a Boatload of Hilarious ‘Ship’ Malapropisms!

“Barbecue” instead of “barnacle”: Did you see all those barbecues on the side of the ship?
“Anchor chair” instead of “admiral”: The anchor chair of the ship was very stern.
“Portly” instead of “port-side”: We need to steer the ship to the portly side!
“Boat” instead of “bloat”: The captain’s ego seemed to boat with each passing day.
“Seam” instead of “steam”: The engine was running at full seam.
“Hull-in-one” instead of “hole-in-one”: The golfer managed to hit a hull-in-one on the ship’s deck.
“Mastodonic” instead of “monolithic”: The ship was truly mastodonic in size.
“Selling” instead of “sailing”: I love selling on a windy day!
“Link” instead of “leak”: There’s a small link in the hull, nothing to worry about.
“Flounder” instead of “founder”: The ship began to flounder in the rough waters.
“Rope” instead of “rope”: The crew worked tirelessly to rope the sails in.
“Paddleboat” instead of “paddleboard”: Let’s take the paddleboat out for a spin!
“Oarsman” instead of “organism”: We have a new oarsman on board, he seems to be adapting well.
“Sternutation” instead of “certainly”: That’s sternutation a bold decision, captain.
“Buoyant” instead of “bouyant”: The captain’s mood was very buoyant despite the storm.
“Sick-box” instead of “sick-bay”: I need to rest in the sick-box for a bit, I think I’m coming down with something.
“Sea cucumber” instead of “sea captain”: The sea cucumber looked quite dashing in his uniform.
“Maroon” instead of “mariner”: The ship was being captained by a notorious maroon.
“Stern-posterous” instead of “preposterous”: It’s stern-posterous that we haven’t seen any other ships in weeks.
“Boarding” instead of “bored”: I’m so boarding, let’s play a game to pass the time!

Ship-shape and giggles: Funny spoonerisms about ships!

Camouflage Pardner
Stereotypical Friendboat
Crewmate Disaster
Starship Headset
Cruise Stick
Sailing Hilarity
Friendship Trip
Oceanic Partner
Floaty Comradery
Warp Team
Narwhal Pal
Docking Laughter
Raft buddy
Buoy Banter
Ferry Fun
Port Chuckles
Seafaring Jokes
Vessel Vibes
Bow Humor
Yachting Laughs

Setting Sail for Laughs: Ship-tastic Tom Swifties!

“I never want to sea this dingy ship again,” Tom said sternly.
“I’ll never get tired of fishing off this cruise ship,” Tom said wryly.
“This rigging is shipshape,” Tom said neatly.
“I can’t navigate this crowded harbor,” Tom said port-ly.
“I’d love to take a dip in the ocean from this luxury yacht,” Tom said buoyantly.
“I can’t wait to set sail on this majestic vessel,” Tom said elatedly.
“This ship needs some TLC,” Tom said gently.
“We’re going to have a whale of a time on this cruise,” Tom said with a slight grin.
“I’m feeling a bit green around the gills,” Tom said ocean-ously.
“The captain always knows how to steer this ship,” Tom said capably.
“I wish I could escape on this sailboat forever,” Tom said wistfully.
“The ship’s chef is truly the master of the galley,” Tom said deliciously.
“I’d hate to miss the boat on this opportunity,” Tom said timely.
“This ship is my home away from home,” Tom said seaworthy.
“I wonder if we’ll spot any dolphins on our voyage?” Tom said porpoisely.
“I’m getting decked out for the formal dinner tonight,” Tom said fashionably.
“I can’t believe we’re stranded on this deserted island,” Tom said sand-lessly.
“I think it’s time for a shore excursion,” Tom said land-ily.
“This pirate ship is no match for my technology,” Tom said tech-savvy.
“I hope the weather holds up for our voyage,” Tom said fair-ly.

Ship, ship, hurray! Knock-knock jokes that will make you laugh all day!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ship. Ship who? Shiver me timbers, it’s Shipwreck!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sea. Sea who? Sea you later, Shipmate!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo ship, here to deliver some laughs!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anchovy. Anchovy who? Anchovy heard this one before? It’s a ship-tastic joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cannon. Cannon who? Cannon we just sail away into the sunset?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Siren. Siren who? Siren you glad you stopped by for a good Ship joke?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pirate. Pirate who? Pirate for hire, telling the best Ship jokes in the seven seas.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harbor. Harbor who? Harbor no ill will when I tell you this hilarious Ship joke.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Treasure. Treasure who? Treasure us with your laughter, matey!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wave. Wave who? Wave goodbye to your worries with these hilarious Ship jokes.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Deck. Deck who? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, it’s a Ship joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bow. Bow who? Bow down to the king of Ship jokes!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sailor. Sailor who? Sailor you ready for another great Ship joke?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Captain. Captain who? Captain your ship, mate. And laughing at these jokes is the crew’s duty.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mast. Mast who? Mast use all my nautical puns in this Ship joke.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Buccaneer. Buccaneer who? Buccaneer laughing at these jokes, I can’t get enough!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Port. Port who? Port in a storm for some laughs with these hilarious Ship jokes!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dolphin. Dolphin who? Dolphinately enjoying all these Ship jokes!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hull. Hull who? Hull yeah, these Ship jokes are the best!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tide. Tide who? Tide your troubles away with these funny Ship jokes!

Smooth Sailing into Puns About Ships!

And that, my punny friends, is a wrap on our voyage through these 210+ puns and jokes about ships. Whether you’re a seasoned sailor or just enjoy a good laugh, I hope these puns have made your day a little brighter. Don’t forget to check out our other related pun and joke posts, because let’s be real, puns are like ships – there’s always room for one more. Happy sailing and happy punning!