Get ready to guac and roll with 200+ Avocado-licious Jokes & Puns!

Welcome to the ultimate list of avocado jokes and puns! Get ready to laugh your pits off with these clever and super funny jokes about everyone’s favorite green fruit. If you love a good laugh and have a positive attitude towards life, then this list is definitely the best thing since sliced bread. Get ready for some avocado humor that will make you go “guac”ed in the best way possible. So without further ado, let’s get into the most hilarious and “punny” jokes and puns about avocados!

Don’t Hassle Me, I’m Just Avocado-ing Fun: Editor’s Top Picks for Pun-tastic Avocado Jokes!

Why did the avocado go to the gym? To get in shape for guac-ing!
I can’t believe it’s not butter… no wait, it’s avocado!
What did the avocado say after a long day? “I’m just pit-tired.”
Avocado relationships can be tough. They’re either ripe or too hard to handle.
Why did the avocado go on a road trip? To guac-tail around!
My friends call me the avocado whisperer. I have a knack for picking out the perfect one!
Avo-cuddle with me?
How do you make an avocado laugh? Tick-le its pit!
I can never be in a bad mood when I’m with my bae-vocado.
Did you hear about the avocado who was always angry? It had a lot of pit-itude.
What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed by a priest? An avocan angel!
Why was the avocado afraid to commit? It was scared of being pit down.
What do you call an avocado that’s always trying new trends? An avo-cado.
How do you know when an avocado is wealthy? When it’s shopping at Gucci-ocado.
Why are avocados so popular in the dating scene? They’re always up for a good smooze.
I asked for extra avocado on my sandwich and got guac-blocked.
I don’t always eat avocados, but when I do, it’s most definitely with chips.
Where do lonely avocados go to meet other avocados? A match-a-do.com.
What did the avocado say when it found its soulmate? “You complete me.”
Why did the avocado’s crush ignore its advances? It was playing hard to pit.

Feast on these Funny Avocado One-Liner Jokes: Hilariously Ripe!

What do you call a lazy avocado? A has-been!
Why did the avocado go on a diet? Because it wanted to become an avo-cad-abra-dabra!
How did the avocado get a promotion? It smashed its interview!
Did you hear about the avocado who got arrested? It was charged with being an accomplice in a guac-robbery!
Why did the avocado feel guilty? Because it had a pit-y conscience!
What do you call an avocado that’s always complaining? A whine-apple!
What is the most valuable vegetable? An avo-car-do!
Why was the avocado running late? It took a pit stop!
What do you call an avocado who’s had plastic surgery? An avo-cado-it!
What’s an avocado’s favorite type of music? Guac and roll!
How does an avocado solve a mystery? It avo-cados clues!
Why did the avocado go to therapy? Because it was feeling mash-turbated!
What do you call an avocado that’s always on time? Punctu-vocado!
What’s an avocado’s favorite holiday? Cinco de-mayo!
How do you know an avocado is ripe? It’s all the rage!
What did one avocado say to the other? We make a great pear!
What do you call an avocado that’s always playing tricks? A con-cado!
What’s an avocado’s favorite book? To Kill a Squash-ingbird!
How does an avocado measure its success? By counting its peel-ons!
Why did the avocado break up with the banana? It couldn’t deal with all the ape-pressure!

Un-peeling the Laughter: QnA Jokes & Puns About Avocado

Q: Why did the avocado go to therapy? A: It was feeling a little guactastic.
Q: How do you make an avocado laugh? A: You tickle its pit.
Q: What do you get when you cross an avocado with a toaster? A: A guac-a-toast!
Q: Why did the avocado apply for a job as a swim instructor? A: It heard it was good at pits.
Q: What did the avocado say when it won the lottery? A: Holey guacamole!
Q: What do you call an Avocado with a cold? A: A sniffruit!
Q: How does an avocado get to the gym? A: By lifting its own weights.
Q: What’s an avocado’s favorite band? A: The Smashing Pits.
Q: Why did the avocado cross the road? A: To get to the smoothie shop on the other side.
Q: How does an avocado like its steak cooked? A: Well-done, because it’s an advocate for healthy eating.
Q: Why did the avocado have to cancel its plans? A: It was feeling a little mashed.
Q: What do you get when you mix an avocado with a kangaroo? A: An avacad-roo!
Q: What do you call an avocado that’s always late? A: An avocadon’t.
Q: How do you know if an avocado is good at making jokes? A: It always has a punchline.
Q: What do you call an immature avocado? A: A premature-o.
Q: Why did the avocado get into a fight with the tomato? A: They had a beef over who was more popular in guacamole.
Q: How does an avocado apologize? A: It offers a bowl of forgiveness dip.
Q: Why did the avocado go to college? A: It wanted to have a master’s in guac-a-nomics.
Q: How do you keep an avocado from turning brown? A: Keep it away from bad influences, like bad apples.
Q: What do you call an avocado that’s also a magician? A: An avocadabra!

Avocado: The Key to a Hilariously Wise Life – Funny Proverbs and Sayings to Live By!

“An avocado a day keeps the sadness away, but a whole bag guarantees a good time.”
“You can’t make guacamole without cracking a few avocados.”
“Avocado toast: the millennial’s version of ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away.'”
“An avocado a day keeps the doctor away, but a bag of chips a day keeps the avocado away.”
“An avocado a day keeps the wrinkles at bay.”
“Don’t judge an avocado by its peel, there’s a lot of good stuff inside.”
“Life is like an avocado, it’s only good for a short time but it’s worth savoring.”
“An avocado never disappoints, except when it’s not ripe yet.”
“The best things in life are like avocados, they take time to ripen and are worth the wait.”
“An avocado a day keeps the hangry away.”
“Like avocados, relationships get better with time and a little bit of mushing.”
“You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not an avocado.”
“Avocado: the fruit that’s always dressed for a party.”
“An avocado doesn’t need a filter to look good.”
“The only thing better than an avocado is two avocados.”
“Keep your friends close, but your avocados closer.”
“An avocado a day keeps the bad hair days away.”
“Just like an avocado, we all need a little bit of help to fully reach our potential.”
“Avocados are like people, sometimes they’re a little tough on the outside but once you get to know them they’re really mushy inside.”
“An avocado in hand is worth two in the fund when they’re not ripe yet.”

Guac ‘n Roll: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Avocado!

What did the avocado say to the other fruit? Guac out!
Why was the avocado always invited to parties? It had great dip-lomatic skills.
What did the avocado say when it bumped into the tomato? Sorry, I didn’t mean to foo-ster an argument.
What do you call an avocado in a suit and tie? A guaca-businessman.
Why did the avocado go to therapy? It had a lot of pit issues.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a snowman? Frosty guacamole!
How do you know when an avocado is sad? It’s feeling a little unripe.
Why did the avocado go on a diet? It wanted to slim down and be more ap-peeling.
What do you call an avocado that’s been through a lot? Avoca-damaged.
Why was the avocado afraid to go on a roller coaster? It was too much of a thrill-seed.
How do you make an avocado laugh? You give it a good tickle-t of course!
What did the avocado say to the banana? You’re looking real apeel-ing today.
How do avocados always stay so cool? They just have really thick skins.
What did the bread say to the avocado? You make me feel so spread-tastic.
How do you make an avocado sad? You pit it against its friends.
What do you call an avocado that’s constantly talking? An avo-cado.
How do you tell an avocado’s age? You check its guac-tagonist levels.
What did the avocado say when it was complimented? Aw-shucks, you’re too kind-ernut.
How do you know when an avocado is ripe? It gives in to the mag-neato power of avocado toast.
Why did the avocado break up with the salsa? It just didn’t think they were compatible, they had too many personal-itty differences.

Get your daily dose of ‘guac’ and giggles with these avacado double entendres puns!

“I love my avocados ripe and spreadable.”
“My avocado is always ready for a good smashing.”
“Looks like someone has been playing with their avo-card-o.”
“Nothing beats a good slipe and dip with a ripe avocado.”
“I like my avocados like I like my men, firm and ready to go.”
“I just can’t resist the creamy goodness of a perfectly ripened avocado.”
“I’ve been told I have a way with handling avocados. It’s all in the wrist action.”
“Some people say I’m a bit ‘extra’ when it comes to my avocados, but I say it’s just good taste.”
“This guacamole has got me feeling like a smooth avocado, all mashed up and irresistible.”
“Is that an avocado in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
“I may be an avocado, but I’ve definitely got some pear-fect curves.”
“I like my avocados like I like my jokes, perfectly ripe and a little cheeky.”
“You can never have too many avocados in your life… or your memes.”
“Who needs a relationship when you can have guac every day? #avocadoblessed.”
“Avocado, my love for you is not just skin deep.”
“I always keep my avocados close… they are my ‘holy guacamole’.”
“I’m not saying I’m avocado obsessed, but my therapist thinks I may be ‘overripe’.”
“My life may seem ‘basic’, but with avocados involved, it’s anything but.”
“When life gives you avocados, make guacamole… and then eat it all yourself.”
“I may not have my life together, but I’ve got my avocado toast game on point.”

Avocado? More like HA-vocado! Recursive Puns That Will Guac Your World!

Did you hear about the avocado who went on a diet? It was trying to become an avacADO.
Why did the avocado go to the doctor? It was feeling a little un-AVOCADO.
I can’t believe someone would try to steal my avocados. Talk about being a real AVO-CROOK.
My friend said he saw an alligator eating an avocado. I guess it was trying to become an ALLI-CA-DO.
You can always count on an avocado to be a great avocadoCATHER.
Did you hear about the avocado’s new job? He’s working as an avoca-DOOR-man.
Why did the avocado go skydiving? It wanted to experience the feeling of being an avoca-DROP.
I asked my avocado if it believed in ghosts. It replied, “Of course, I’m an ava-DOO believer.”
What did the avocado say when it found out it was pregnant? “I guess I’m an ava-MOM-do now.”
My avocado asked if I could drive it to the mall. I guess you can call me an avo-CAR-do now.
Why did the avocado go to the beach? It wanted to see if it could become a sand-CADO.
I told my avocado that it needed to relax and take a break. So now it’s an ava-CADO diva.
What did one avocado say to the other? “You’re my better hal-fa-do.”
My friend asked why I was eating an avocado with a spoon. I replied, “I’m just trying to get to the avoca-DOllop.”
Did you hear about the avocado who joined a biker gang? Now it’s known as the ava-ROLLING stone.
I heard the avocado has a secret admirer. I guess you could say it’s an ava-DOOs ipso factor.
Why did the avocado go to the therapist? It was tired of being constantly ava-CADO’d.
Did you see the avocado’s new dance moves? It’s called the avo-CHA-CHA.
My avocado asked if it could borrow my car. I told it, “No way, it’s not a gas, avo-CAR-do.”
Why did the avocado go to the orchestra? It wanted to listen to some avoca-DO, re mi.

Avocadon’t Mess Up These Hilarious Malapropisms!

“I can’t believe I forgot my wallet at home, I must have a bad case of avocadementia.”
“I need to go to the gym, my avocados are feeling a little floppy.”
“I don’t understand how to use this new technology, I’m just a ripe avocado in a digital world.”
“I spilled my drink on my avocado toast, now it’s covered in guaca-stain.”
“I’m not a fan of mustard, it gives me a serious case of avocado-breath.”
“My boyfriend said something really sweet the other day, it was such a loveo-cado moment.”
“My grandmother’s cooking always has a distinct avocado flavor, she must use an old family recipe with lots of avoca-ditions.”
“I accidentally ate some spoiled guacamole and now my stomach is suffering from avoca-nausea.”
“I can’t decide between the chicken or the avocado, I’m in a real avoca-dilemma.”
“If you want to impress your guests, make sure to serve a side of fresh avoca-toast at your next dinner party.”
“My boss asked me to stay late at work, but I had plans to go out and avoca-date with my friends.”
“I tried to do a pull-up at the gym, but my arms just couldn’t handle the avocabell weight.”
“I walked in to find my dog eating my avocado-shaped stress ball, he must have thought it was a chew-cado.”
“I hate going to the dentist, they always try to make small talk while my mouth is full of floo-cado.”
“I woke up with a splitting headache this morning, I think I went a little too hard at the avoca-party last night.”
“I’m not a morning person, I need at least two cups of avocoffee to function.”
“I couldn’t find my sunglasses so I had to wear my avoca-dork glasses to protect my eyes from the sun.”
“My boyfriend always says I’m the avocado to his toast, it’s a little cheesy but I love it.”
“I burnt my toast this morning, now it’s just a sorry excuse for an avoca-charred slice.”
“My doctor told me I need to lower my cholesterol, so I’ve been replacing butter with mashed avocado on my toast every morning.”

Avocado Amiss: Playing with Spoonerisms about this Yummy Fruit

“Avocado toast” becomes “tovocado ass”
“Avocado spread” becomes “spovocado dread”
“Guacamole dip” becomes “ducahole gip”
“Avocado salad” becomes “salocado avid”
“Avocado toastie” becomes “tovocado assie”
“Avocado smoothie” becomes “smovocado atoothie”
“Avocado fries” becomes “focavocado aryes”
“Avocado sandwich” becomes “snavocado andwich”
“Ripe avocado” becomes “avipe rovocado”
“Avocado seed” becomes “sevocado aid”
“Avocado tree” becomes “treovacado aye”
“Avocado ranch” becomes “ravocado anch”
“Avocado salsa” becomes “salvocado asa”
“Avocado burger” becomes “burcocado avger”
“Avocado guacamole” becomes “guavocado acamole”
“Avocado chips” becomes “chicavocado aps”
“Chunky avocado” becomes “avunky chunkado”
“Avocado smoothie bowl” becomes “boovocado smothie bowl”
“Avocado lime dressing” becomes “lavocado ime drissing”
“Avocado bliss smoothie” becomes “blavocado iss smissie”

Get Your Avacado Fix with These Punny Tom Swifties!

“I’ll never eat another avocado,” Tom said pitifully.
“I can’t believe it’s not guacamole!” Tom exclaimed avowedly.
“This avocado is giving me heartburn,” Tom stated acidly.
“I always find avocado toast to be a smashing breakfast choice,” Tom buttered up.
“Avocados really bring out the green in your eyes,” Tom observed guilelessly.
“This avocado is so ripe, it’s making my mouth water,” Tom drooled.
“I wish I could take this avocado on a date,” Tom proposed casually.
“Why did the avocado cross the road?” Tom asked pitifully.
“This avocado is so buttery, it’s like a stick of cholesterol,” Tom joked.
“I can’t decide if this avocado is ripe or not,” Tom said indecisively.
“I don’t think I can handle the responsibility of slicing this avocado,” Tom stated flatly.
“I bet this avocado feels like it’s in a mushy situation,” Tom mused.
“I wish they made avocado-flavored gum,” Tom chewed over.
“I can’t eat enough avocado, it’s like an addiction,” Tom joked.
“I can never remember if it’s ‘avocado’ or ‘advocado’,” Tom quipped obliviously.
“I guess you could say I’m an avo-holic,” Tom confessed shamelessly.
“This avocado has a pit-iful situation going on,” Tom observed wryly.
“I hope this avocado doesn’t give me any trouble or I might have an avocaddiction,” Tom jested.
“I only like my avocados when they’re absolutely cream of the crop,” Tom creamed.
“If I were an avocado, I’d be the best-guaca-mole ever,” Tom joked egotistically.

Avocadon’t miss these hilarious knock-knock jokes about avocados!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avocado. Avocado who? Avocado go play some basketball!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hector. Hector who? Hector avocado I must be dreaming!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Irma. Irma who? Irma-gine a world without avocados? No way!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive for avocados, they’re the best!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Juan. Juan who? Juan more slice of avocado toast, please!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gina. Gina who? Gina-mite, I love avocados!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oscar. Oscar who? Oscar me to pass the guacamole, please.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivy. Ivy who? Ivy-rytime I eat avocado, it’s a party in my mouth!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tommy. Tommy who? Tommy your sandwich needs some avocado.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nina. Nina who? Nina be more avocados in this fridge!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pierce. Pierce who? Pierce my heart, I love guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Edgar. Edgar who? Edgar-ade me a caesar salad with lots of avocado, please.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zoe. Zoe who? Zoe’s so hungry for some avocado right now!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Henry. Henry who? Henry-thing is better with some avocado on it.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lila. Lila who? Lila-brate good times, come on, let’s have some avocado!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Andy. Andy who? Andy reason you haven’t eaten any avocado yet?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Maria. Maria who? Maria, please pass the avocado salsa.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oliver. Oliver who? Oliver a sudden, I have a craving for some guacamole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lucy. Lucy who? Lucy-ous avocado toast, anyone?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Max. Max who? Max your avocado intake before they’re all gone!

Guac-out with these avocado-lutely hilarious puns!

Looks like we’ve reached the end of this hilarious journey through the world of avocado puns and jokes. Whether you’re a fan of this creamy fruit or not, these puns are sure to make you laugh and maybe even crave some guacamole. And if you’re still hungry for more punny goodness, be sure to check out our other related posts; they’re no pit-y party either. Now go forth and spread the guac-ward humor!