Seal-iously Funny: 230+ Jokes & Puns about Seals That Will Have You Laughing Sealiously!

Looking for some clever and funny jokes to share with the kids? Look no further, because we’ve compiled a list of the best seal jokes and puns to tickle your funny bone! From adorable flippers to their notorious barking, these hilarious jokes will have everyone in stitches. So prepare yourself for some positive humor and get ready to seal the deal with these laugh-out-loud puns about seals. Get ready to dive into a sea of laughter!

Sealing the Deal: Hilarious Puns & Jokes from our Editor’s Picks!

1. Why did the seal go to the dance club? Because it was time to seal the deal!
2. What do you call a seal who sells houses? A sale-seal!
3. How do you get a seal to stop playing pranks? Seal them up!
4. Don’t trust a seal who tells you they can juggle. They’re just fishing for compliments.
5. What do you call a group of seals singing in harmony? A barbersheal quartet.
6. Did you hear about the seal who swallowed a clock? It was very time-seal!
7. Why did the seal go to therapy? To deal with its seal-esteem issues.
8. What do you call a seal who is always on time? A punc-seal.
9. Why did the seal become an actor? It always wanted to be a real-seal.
10. What do you call a seal who loves to read? A book-seal.
11. How do you get a baby seal to take a bath? Seal it with a kiss.
12. What do you call a sophisticated, well-dressed seal? A seal of approval.
13. Why did the seal refuse to swim in polluted waters? It didn’t want to be contaminated-seal.
14. How does a seal write a love letter? With a seal of approval.
15. What do you call it when a seal becomes president? A seal in office.
16. Did you hear about the seal who opened up a coffee shop? It’s called “Sealing the Beans”.
17. Why did the seal go to school? To get a liberal-arts-seal education.
18. What do you call a seal who can cook? A chef-seal.
19. Why did the seal get mad at its friend? They kept interrupting its sea-lion time.
20. How do you make a seal laugh? Tell it a joke with a pun-ch line.

Seal the Deal with These Hilarious One-Liners About Funny Seals

1. Why did the seal go to the dentist? Because it had a seal-ing!
2. What do you call a seal in a courtroom? A le-seal representative.
3. Did you hear about the talented seal that could juggle? He was a real flap-tastic performer.
4. How do you catch a seal? With a seal-trap!
5. What did the seal say when it was late for an appointment? Sorry, I was caught up in a sea-lion.
6. Why did the seal try out for the school play? Because he wanted to be a seal-imony.
7. What do you call a seal that can swim faster than an Olympic swimmer? A seal of approval.
8. Did you hear about the seal that got a job at the bank? He was the seal-curity guard.
9. Why did the seal go to the nightclub? To find his soul-seal.
10. How does a seal make a call? With a sea-phone!
11. What do you call a group of seals playing instruments? A sea-band.
12. Why was the seal sad when it lost its tail? Because it couldn’t be a sea-shantail anymore.
13. What do you call a seal that can tell time? A clock-seal.
14. Did you hear about the seal that joined a gym? It wanted to get in sea-lion shape.
15. Why did the seal refuse to go to the beach? It didn’t want to be in sea-fly with all the tourists.
16. What do you call a seal that can fly? A sky-seal.
17. How does a seal greet other animals? With a sea-rious bow.
18. Did you hear about the seal that went to art school? It wanted to be a paint-seal.
19. What do you call a seal who loves math? A sea-lculating genius.
20. Why did the seal go to the therapist? It had some deep sea-ed issues to tackle.

Seal Your Laughter with these QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘Seal’

1. Q: What do you call a seal with a degree in business? A: An e-seal, of course!
2. Q: Why did the seal go to the desert? A: To find the elusive sand-seal!
3. Q: How does a seal keep track of its finances? A: By using a seal-debit card!
4. Q: What did the seal say when it first saw a dolphin? A: Seal you later, flipper!
5. Q: What do you call a seal that can solve complex math problems? A: A math-seal!
6. Q: How does a seal greet its friends? A: With a hearty seal-loha!
7. Q: What did the seal say when it won a game of Monopoly? A: Seal estate is mine!
8. Q: What did the seal say when it accidentally burped? A: Sorry, I didn’t mean to break the seal!
9. Q: Why did the seal get a job as a lifeguard? A: Because it was a master at saving some-buddy!
10. Q: Why did the seal’s family start a bakery? A: To make seal-y delicious treats!
11. Q: What did the seal say when it got lost in the ocean? A: Oh buoy, where am I?
12. Q: Why did the seal start using essential oils? A: To maintain a healthy seal-th!
13. Q: What do you call a lazy seal? A: A snooze-seal!
14. Q: What did the seal say when it fell in love? A: You stole my seal!
15. Q: How did the seal become so popular in Hollywood? A: It had plenty of seal-fies!
16. Q: What did the seal say to the iceberg? A: You’re so cool, but I’m way seal-ier!
17. Q: Why did the seal start a fitness routine? A: To get beach seal-body ready!
18. Q: Why was the seal hired to perform at a circus? A: Because of its impeccable balance and skillful seal-oquy!
19. Q: What did the seal say when asked to tell a joke? A: Sorry, I only know seal-ionaires!
20. Q: Why did the seal refuse to enter the water? A: Because it was afraid of getting a cold-seal!

Seal the Laughter with these Hilarious Dad Jokes about Seals

1. What did the seal say when he was asked to go swimming? “Sure, I’ll just sea lionize my schedule!”
2. Why did the seal cross the road? To get to the beach on the other tide!
3. Did you know seals are great singers? They’re known for their stunning sea-pelts!
4. How does a seal greet his friends? With a fin-tastic wave!
5. Why did the seal go to college? To get a degree in marine-biology!
6. What do you call a seal who likes to dance? A smooth mover-shaker!
7. How do you make a seal laugh? Tell them a fishy story!
8. Why did the seal refuse to go to the zoo? He didn’t want to be sea-caged!
9. How does a seal clean its house? With a seal-vacuum!
10. Did you hear about the seal who entered a talent contest? He won by a nose!
11. What do you call a group of seals playing instruments? A chorus of sea-harmony!
12. Why do seals always seem so happy? They know how to live a life with no sea-stress!
13. What did the seal say when he bought a new car? “I’m ready to sea-ze the day!”
14. Why are seals great mathematicians? They’re masters at counting sea-lculations!
15. What do you call a seal who loves to cook? A gourmand-seal!
16. Why did the seal take up knitting? To make himself some sea-knit sweaters!
17. How do you communicate with a seal? You use a universal language- sea-language!
18. Why did the seal go to the doctor? He had a bad case of sea-dizziness!
19. What did the seal say when he won an award? “I’m just so sea-honored!”
20. Why was the seal always late? He was always caught up in sea-traffic!

Laugh away the day with these hilarious quotes about seals!

1. “Why did the seal cross the road? To get to the other tide.”
2. “I tried to teach my seal how to play fetch, but all it did was clap its fins in excitement.”
3. “Forget ‘Netflix and chill,’ I want ‘seal pups and snuggles.'”
4. “What do you call a group of seals playing instruments? A seal-phonics band.”
5. “Seals may be known for their blubber, but I like to think of it as built-in insulation.”
6. “I don’t always hug seals, but when I do, it’s a seal of approval.”
7. “It may look like I’m just lying around, but I’m actually practicing my seal poses.”
8. “Why did the seal wear a tuxedo? It was heading to a fancy seal-ebration.”
9. “Swimming with seals is like playing Marco Polo, but with cuter creatures.”
10. “I can’t decide if seals are more like aquatic dogs or chubby mermaids.”
11. “I’ve never seen a seal frown, but I’m sure they’re just practicing their serious face.”
12. “My doctor said I need more omega-3 fatty acids, so I added more seal hugs to my routine.”
13. “If you think about it, seals are just majestic sausages of the sea.”
14. “Seals may be known for their balancing skills, but have you seen them balance a ball on their nose?”
15. “I may not be smooth enough to dance like a seal, but I can definitely waddle like one.”
16. “I’m convinced that seal flippers were made for high-fiving.”
17. “Seal 1: Can you pass me the remote? Seal 2: Sorry, I can’t, I’m all flippers and no fingers.”
18. “If you ever feel like you’ve lost control, just remember that seals can slip and slide on their bellies like a boss.”
19. “What did the seal say when it spotted its crush? I’m gonna pucker up and seal the deal.”
20. “I never trust a seal with a secret, they have a lot of flippers to slip up with.”

Seal the Deal with these Hilarious Proverbs and Clever Sayings!

1. “A seal in the hand is worth two in the ocean.”
2. “You can’t make a seal without breaking a few shells.”
3. “A seal never forgets to make a splash.”
4. “The early seal catches the fish.”
5. “Don’t be a lone seal basking on the shore, join the pod and make more!”
6. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a seal-shaped pool float.”
7. “If life gives you lemons, trade them for fish and become a seal’s favorite.”
8. “A seal is like a good book, always full of surprises under its cover.”
9. “A seal’s bark is worse than its bite.”
10. “It’s not the size of the nose, it’s how well you can balance a ball on it like a seal.”
11. “Even a seal can appreciate the finer things in life, like a shiny rock or a well-crafted fish sculpture.”
12. “A seal never argues with a wave, it just goes with the flow.”
13. “Make like a seal and dive headfirst into life’s challenges.”
14. “A seal’s wisdom is like a clam, hidden but full of pearls.”
15. “Always make time for play, just like a seal frolicking in the waves.”
16. “A seal knows how to roll with the tides.”
17. “Even when life feels like an endless beach, just keep swimming like a determined seal.”
18. “Success is just a matter of balancing fish on your nose like a pro seal.”
19. “A seal’s laughter is truly infectious, it’ll have you barking too.”
20. “In the game of life, be the seal that steals the show with their tricks.”

Sealing the Deal: Hilarious Double Entendres and Puns Featuring Seals!

1. “I need to ‘seal’ the deal on this seafood dinner.”
2. “The ‘seal’ of approval just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
3. “Let’s ‘seal’ the cracks in our relationship and move on.”
4. “I tried to ‘seal’ the envelope, but it kept sticking to my hands.”
5. “I’m not sure if this marriage will ‘seal’ the deal or break the seal on our doom.”
6. “These animals are so cute, I just want to ‘seal’ them all up in a hug.”
7. “I thought I was ordering a ‘seal’ skin coat, not a sea lion one.”
8. “I may be a lawyer, but I can’t ‘seal’ the deal on every case.”
9. “I always ‘seal’ my fate when I hit the open bar at weddings.”
10. “I’m not sure if I should ‘seal’ the deal with a kiss or a handshake.”
11. “Who knew that a ‘seal’ could juggle balls better than a clown?”
12. “I can’t believe she got a ‘seal’ of approval from his mother on their first date.”
13. “I never thought I’d ‘seal’ the deal on this business venture with a high five.”
14. “I’m not a fan of seafood, unless it’s in a ‘seal’ form.”
15. “I can’t believe he thought it was a good idea to ‘seal’ the windows shut during a heatwave.”
16. “I thought the ‘seal’ on the jar meant it was fresh, not that I couldn’t open it.”
17. “Let’s ‘seal’ the cracks in this friendship with some duct tape and a drink.”
18. “I’m not sure if I should ‘seal’ the envelope with glue or with a kiss.”
19. “I’m not a fan of the beach, except for when I can watch ‘seal’ife from a safe distance.”
20. “I never thought I’d see a ‘seal’ion balancing a ball on its nose, but here we are.”

Seal-y Silly: Recursively Punny Jokes about Seals

1. Why did the seal feel guilty? Because he had a lot of sea-lf reflection to do!
2. What did the seal say to his therapist? I need some help balancing my sea-lves.
3. Did you hear about the seal who got fired? He was caught sea-lf-promoting.
4. Why couldn’t the seal find his friends? He was too busy sea-lf-absorbed.
5. How does a seal stay organized? He uses a sea-lfie stick.
6. What do you call a group of seals telling jokes? A sea-lfie club.
7. Why did the seal steal a mirror? He wanted to see his own sea-lf image.
8. How did the seal become a spy? He went undercover as a sea-lf agent.
9. What’s a seal’s favorite word? Sea-lf.
10. What did the seal say when his friend gave him a hug? Thanks for being so sea-lfless.
11. Why did the seal keep getting rejected on dating sites? He was too much of a sea-lf promoter.
12. What do you get when you cross a seal and a unicorn? A sea-lficorn.
13. Why did the seal only eat raw fish? He was on a sea-lf diet.
14. How does a seal get in shape? He does sea-lfies at the gym.
15. What do you call a seal who hosts a game show? A sea-lf-proclaimed expert.
16. Why did the seal get kicked out of the photography club? He didn’t want anyone else to steal his sea-lfies.
17. What does a seal artist use to create his paintings? A sea-lfie stick.
18. Why did the seal refuse to watch TV? He didn’t want to see his own sea-lf on screen.
19. How did the seal win the presidential election? He ran on the campaign slogan, “Make America Sea-lfy Again.”
20. What do you call a seal who is always on the phone? A sea-lf-obsessed telemarketer.

Seal’ the Deal with These Clever Tom Swifties!

1. “I can’t get this bag of chips open,” said Ted, SEALlingly.
2. “I’ll never fit into this wetsuit,” SEALed Tom, humorously.
3. “I’m trying to stay focused on our mission,” said the Navy SEAL, SEALiously.
4. “I accidentally glued my fingers together,” SEALed Sarah, firmly.
5. “I hope we get to meet some seals on this trip,” said Marine biologist, SEALy.
6. “I’m feeling a little under the weather,” SEALed Sam, sniffling.
7. “I think I’ve gone insane,” SEALed Andy, crazy-eyed.
8. “I refuse to eat any more seafood,” said the strict vegan, SEALy.
9. “I’m feeling a bit cold in this arctic weather,” SEALed Tim, shivering.
10. “I can’t believe I lost my swimming goggles,” said the forgetful swimmer, SEALlessly.
11. “I need a bigger boat to catch these fish,” said the determined fisherman, SEALy.
12. “I’m so excited to go scuba diving,” said the eager tourist, SEALtastically.
13. “I’m feeling a bit slippery after applying sunblock,” said the sunbather, SEALishly.
14. “I’ll never be able to swim as fast as a seal,” said the swimmer, SEALamenting.
15. “I can’t reach that fish on the top shelf,” said the short chef, SEALflessly.
16. “I think I ate too many pancakes for breakfast,” said the full SEAL, SEALy.
17. “I can’t find my toothbrush in this cluttered bathroom,” said the disorganized SEAL, SEALlessly.
18. “I think I sprained my ankle while playing volleyball,” said the athletic SEAL, SEALy.
19. “I can’t stop laughing at this hilarious joke,” chuckled the happy SEAL, SEALably.
20. “I can’t believe I won the polar bear swim competition,” said the triumphant SEAL, SEALy.

Seal-fully Funny Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Make You Flipper Out!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ebrate good times, come on!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ly glad to see you again!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ly hope I’m not interrupting your nap.
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ver spoonfuls of humor is what I serve.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-a vie with a side of laughter, please!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal of approval for these jokes!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ious question, but do you like jokes about marine life?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal the deal with a good laugh.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-y enough jokes, or do you want some more?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ly following you around with these jokes!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Sealter, the comedian seal!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ebrity guest on the joke-telling show.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-a-deal and laugh till your sides hurt!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal of approval on these jokes.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ious about bringing the laughs.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal the deal with some jokes and a smile.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-abrating humor with every knock-knock.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ly can’t stop laughing at my own jokes!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ebrating our friendship with some fresh jokes.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seal. Seal who? Seal-ebrate life with a good sense of humor!

Sealing the Deal with Hilarious ‘Seal’ Malapropisms

1. “Should we seal the deal before we sea-l it?”
2. “I’ll take the fish with a side of seal-grass.”
3. “I can’t believe I got banned from the aquarium for sealing a stolen fish.”
4. “The sealion in my backyard keeps barking at the neighbors.”
5. “I can’t wait to take a dip in the pool of seal-itude.”
6. “I’m not a fan of seafood, but I do enjoy a good seal steak.”
7. “I tried to kiss my crush, but she gave me the seal of disapproval.”
8. “I saw a seal flying in the sky, it must have been a pelican.”
9. “I went to the beach and saw a group of seals sunbathing on the shork.”
10. “My friend got a seal of approval from his boss, but I’m still stuck in the office.”
11. “I spilled my drink on my lap and now I have a seal stain.”
12. “I’m on a diet, so I can only have four seals of ice cream a day.”
13. “I’m thinking of getting a pet, maybe a cute little seal pup.”
14. “I heard the world record for holding your breath is 22 seals.”
15. “I’m going to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic dinner at the sea-l tonight.”
16. “My mom always told me to seal my lips when I have nothing nice to say.”
17. “Do you want to go see a movie tonight? There’s a new comedy called Seal Team Six.”
18. “I can’t believe the zoo has exotic seals from Africa now.”
19. “I wish I could find my soulmate, but I’m afraid I’ll just end up with another sea urchin.”
20. “I asked for a seal of approval, not a seal of disapproval.”

Slippery Spoonerisms about the Sassy Seal

1. ‘Meal Squeal’
2. ‘Peal Seal’
3. ‘Heal Steal’
4. ‘Peal Steel’
5. ‘Deal Zeal’
6. ‘Real Teal’
7. ‘Feel Seal’
8. ‘Seal Spinach’
9. ‘Squeal Meal’
10. ‘Seal Fleece’
11. ‘Leal Steal’
12. ‘Seal Pie’
13. ‘Seal Peel’
14. ‘Kneel Seal’
15. ‘Seal Bee’
16. ‘Reel Seal’
17. ‘Teal Seal’
18. ‘Sheal Speck’
19. ‘Seal Tackle’
20. ‘Seal Rides’

Sealing the Deal on These Puns!

Well, it looks like we’ve reached the end of our seal-y hilarious pun and joke post! We hope these puns about seals left you in stitches and didn’t leave you feeling too “crabby”. If you’re still in need of a good laugh, be sure to check out our other related pun and joke posts – they’re sure to have you “seal-ing” with laughter. Thanks for swimming by and remember, the only “seal” we should ever be breaking is a pun or two. Happy laughing!