Score a Laugh with 230+ Hilarious Hockey Jokes & Puns!

Knock knock. Who’s there? The best hockey jokes for kids! Get ready to score some serious laughs with our oh-so-clever list of puns about hockey. We’ve gathered the funniest one-liners and humorous quips to add some positive vibes to your day. These puns are not just for the die-hard hockey fans, they’re for anyone who appreciates a good chuckle. So get your sticks ready, because we’re about to hit you with some major humor. Let the games begin!

Frosty Fun: Our Must-Read ‘Hockey’ Puns & Jokes Picks by the Editor

1. What did the hockey puck say to the net? “I’mma score on you, net!”
2. How do goalies greet each other? “Hey, nice to glove you!”
3. Why was the hockey player always cold? Because he always wore his ice cap!
4. What did the hockey coach say to his players before the big game? “Let’s stick it to ’em!”
5. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the tickets were sold out!
6. How does a hockey player stay cool during a game? He sits near the ice fans!
7. Why did the hockey team hire a chicken as their new goalie? Because he could always stop the eggs-tra shots!
8. How do hockey players travel? By puck-et ship, of course!
9. What do you call a group of hockey players who also love to cook? A skillet team!
10. Why did the hockey player refuse to wear a face mask? He didn’t want to cover up his game face!
11. What did one hockey stick say to the other? “You’re such a slick stick!”
12. Why did the hockey player apply for a job at the zoo? He wanted to be a penalty box!
13. How do hockey players keep their skates sharp? They put a cutting edge on them!
14. What did the coach say to the hockey player who kept falling on the ice? “You need to learn how to skate on the right track!”
15. Why did the hockey team have to go to the eye doctor? Their goalie couldn’t stop letting in high-pucks!
16. What did the hockey player say when he scored a goal with his head? “I guess you could say it was a brainy play!”
17. How did the football team communicate with the hockey team? They used ice-bergers!
18. Why was the hockey player always in the freezer? He was chilling out!
19. What did the hockey player say when he won the championship? “I guess you could say we really ice-ed it!”
20. How do hockey players start their morning? With a cup of ice coffee!

Slapstick Humor: Hilarious ‘Funny Hockey’ One-Liner Jokes

1. Why was the hockey player always out of breath? Because he was skating on thin ice!
2. Did you hear about the hockey team that became vegan? They couldn’t handle the stick-to-itiveness.
3. What did the hockey coach say when his team kept missing the net? “You guys are really off goal!”
4. I tried playing hockey with one hand…it was no fun, I couldn’t even handle it.
5. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to score some high goals.
6. What did the puck say to the hockey stick? “You make me stick to my job!”
7. Did you hear about the hockey goalie who quit his job? He just couldn’t save it anymore.
8. I was playing defense in a hockey game and the other player told me to keep my eye on the puck…but I couldn’t see what he was talking about.
9. Why did the hockey player cross the rink? To get to the other ice.
10. What do you call a fake hockey fan? A puck-a-faker.
11. Did you hear about the hockey player who was always losing his jersey? He couldn’t seem to keep it together.
12. Why was the hockey player afraid to take a break? He didn’t want to get benched.
13. I thought I had a broken wrist after playing hockey, but it turns out it was just a bruised ego.
14. What do call a group of penguins playing hockey? Puck buddies.
15. Why was the hockey rink so cold? Because all the fans left after the ice melted.
16. Did you hear about the hockey game where no one scored? It was a real ice breaker.
17. Why did the hockey player bring a sponge to the game? He wanted to clean up on the ice.
18. What did the hockey coach say to the losing team? “It’s okay, we just need to break the ice in the next game.”
19. Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? He had a case of Stanley Cup fever.
20. I tried to make a joke about hockey, but it never made the final cut.

What do you call a hockey player with a cold? A ‘sick’ center!” QnA Jokes & Puns about Hockey

1. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to score some high goals!
2. What did the hockey puck say to the stick? “Don’t be a stick in the mud!”
3. Why don’t hockey players like to play in the rain? Because they might get ‘puckered’!
4. What did the hockey player say when he scored a hat-trick? “Looks like I’ve got a hat-full of goals!”
5. What do you call a group of penguins playing hockey? A slap-clap!
6. Why was the goalie always tired after the game? Because he had to ‘stop’ so many shots!
7. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a chef? A ‘puckmaster’!
8. Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? Because it had a lot of issues with being ‘hit’ constantly.
9. What does a hockey player use to clean his skates? A ‘zamboni’ wipe!
10. Why couldn’t the hockey player score? Because every time he got near the puck, he was ‘board’!
11. How does a hockey player go on vacation? By ‘ice-&-escaping’!
12. Why did the hockey player bring a marker to the game? So he could ‘draw’ up some new plays!
13. What’s a hockey player’s favorite candy? ‘Puck’-lices.
14. Why did the hockey player get a second job at the chocolate factory? Because he wanted to be a ‘puck’-maker on the side!
15. What did the hockey coach say to his team before the game? “Let’s ‘stick’ it to ’em!”
16. Why did the hockey player bring a camera to the game? So he could ‘snap’ some shots!
17. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? ‘Puck’-rock!
18. Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a bit ‘ice’-olated.
19. What do you call a fish that plays hockey? A ‘goal’-fish!
20. Why did the hockey player have a hard time falling asleep? Because he couldn’t ‘breakaway’ from his thoughts about the game!

Dad Jokes that Score Major Laughs in the World of Hockey

1. How do hockey players stay cool during games? They have ice in their veins.
2. What do you call a hockey player who can juggle? A puckster.
3. Did you hear about the hockey player who ate too much ice cream? He got brain freeze.
4. What do you call a goalie who only plays on weekends? A week-tender.
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
6. What do you call a group of penguins playing hockey? The ice-capades.
7. How does a hockey player get to work? He takes the ice-sicle.
8. What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m on a roll!”
9. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? In case they needed a tie-breaker.
10. Where do hockey players go to dance? The penalty box.
11. Why was the hockey arena so cold? Because all the fans were giving everyone the cold shoulder.
12. How do goalies stay warm during a game? They stand in front of the net-tric heater.
13. What did the coach say when the team won on a last-second goal? “That was a real buzzer-beater!”
14. What did the hockey puck say to the net? “You’re goal-oriented!”
15. How do you score a goal against a clumsy goalie? You trip him up with some ice tricks.
16. What do you call a group of pucks hanging out together? A puck of pickles.
17. How many hockey players does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’d rather stay in the dark and fight.
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s also a doctor? An ice-doctor.
19. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the hockey game? Because he had no body to go with.
20. What do you call a hockey player who’s also a magician? A stick-ceptionist.

Lace Up Your Skates and Laugh with these Hilarious Hockey Quotes

1. “Hockey is just golf for angry Canadians.”
2. “Hockey is the only sport where getting hit with a frozen piece of rubber is considered a highlight.”
3. “I don’t always play hockey, but when I do, I still have no idea what offside means.”
4. “You know you’re a true hockey fan when you can hear the sound of a puck hitting the post in your sleep.”
5. “Hockey: where a ‘hat trick’ is a good thing and ‘icing’ is not.”
6. “I asked my coach if I should wear a cup for the game and he said ‘nah, just leave the fruit bowl at home.'”
7. “Life is like a hockey game: some people just can’t handle the penalty box.”
8. “The only thing scarier than a hockey mom is a hockey dad in the stands.”
9. “Why watch Game of Thrones when you can watch a hockey game and see just as many fights?”
10. “Hockey players have 99 problems, but missing teeth ain’t one.”
11. “Hockey: the only sport where it’s acceptable to knock someone’s teeth out and then buy them a beer afterwards.”
12. “I have two favorite teams: the one my son plays on and whoever beats the Chicago Blackhawks.”
13. “If hockey has taught me anything, it’s that anything can be solved with a good brawl and a cold beer.”
14. “Hockey players have moves on the ice, but in bed they’re all about the stick handling.”
15. “If at first you don’t succeed, blame the goalie.”
16. “Hockey moms don’t have a fear of commitment, they just have a fear of being committed for starting too many fights.”
17. “Hockey players are like fine wine: they just get better with age… and their salaries.”
18. “The only thing that gets more hits than a hockey puck is my ex on Tinder.”
19. “They say hockey is just a game, but I’m pretty sure it’s a love language.”
20. “In hockey, there are no participation trophies, just participation in the penalty box.”

Score a Laugh with These Hilarious Hockey-related Proverbs & Wise Sayings!

1. “A puck to the face builds character – and a bruise.”
2. “A good hockey player will never slip on the ice, but a great player can still make it look stylish.”
3. “If you can’t take the heat, stay off the ice.”
4. “Success is like scoring a hat trick – you have to work for every goal.”
5. “Never underestimate the power of a post-game beer with your teammates.”
6. “In hockey, the only thing colder than the ice is the player who hasn’t had their morning coffee.”
7. “Hockey: Where sticks are used for teamwork, and fists are used for disagreements.”
8. “The true mark of a hockey player: having more scars than teeth.”
9. “Hockey is the perfect combination of grace and violence.”
10. “In hockey, it’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many times you get back up.”
11. “The most important skill in hockey? Knowing how to lace up your skates properly.”
12. “The thrill of scoring a goal is only matched by the agony of hitting the post.”
13. “Hockey is the only sport where missing teeth is a badge of honor.”
14. “There’s no such thing as too much hockey gear – just not enough storage space.”
15. “Hockey: where slapshots are serious business, but shootouts are just pure luck.”
16. “The secret to a successful powerplay? Making sure the other team is actually in the penalty box.”
17. “Playing hockey is like riding a bike – except the bike is on fire and you’re balancing on ice.”
18. “The best way to get over a tough loss? A cold beer and some good old-fashioned trash talk.”
19. “Hockey players are just like penguins – they may look silly, but they know how to survive on the ice.”
20. “The true definition of friendship: someone willing to lend you their skates when yours break during a game.”

Hock-ey, Don’t be So Punny! Double Entendres and Puns in the Rink

1. “I’m always ready for a good stick-handling session on the ice.”
2. “I may be small, but I’ve got a wicked slap shot.”
3. “Looks like it’s time to drop the gloves and settle this on the rink.”
4. “I’m not just a hockey player, I’m a puck slinging master.”
5. “Don’t worry, I’ll cover the five-hole.”
6. “I know how to handle my stick, if you know what I mean.”
7. “I’ve been waiting all night for this face-off.”
8. “My stick is always ready for a little action on the ice.”
9. “I may not be a goalie, but I can still stop some pucks.”
10. “Hockey players don’t retire, they just go to the penalty box.”
11. “My slap shot is so accurate, it could hit a bullseye on a puck.”
12. “I’ll take you down faster than a Zamboni on the ice.”
13. “I’ve got a pair of skates that say I’m one hot shot on the rink.”
14. “Goalie love is like a good poke check, it’s all about timing.”
15. “I’ve got a stick that’s ready to score some goals.”
16. “I don’t always score on the ice, but when I do, it’s always in the net.”
17. “My playmaking skills are like my love life, fast and furious.”
18. “I may be rough on the ice, but I’ll always treat you like a lady off the rink.”
19. “You can try to defend my moves, but you’ll never be able to stop me.”
20. “I’m not just a hockey player, I’m a master of ice, skates and everything nice.”

Slam Dunking the Competition with Recursive Puns about Hockey

1. Why couldn’t the hockey player play the game? He had a puck-er injury.
2. What did the hockey puck say to the net? I’ll stick around.
3. Why did the hockey player keep getting penalties? Because he couldn’t keep his stick-lid on.
4. I told my dad I wanted to be a professional hockey player, he said it’s just a pipe-dream.
5. How do you know if a hockey player is tired? They’re skating on thin ice.
6. Why did the goalie quit the team? He had too many saves on his mind.
7. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of math? Stick-ulus.
8. Did you hear about the hockey team that went bankrupt? They had too many checks to write.
9. What did one hockey stick say to the other? Wanna go shoot some pucks?
10. Why did the hockey puck start crying? It was stuck in the crease.
11. I asked the hockey coach if I could play goalie, he said I had big pads to fill.
12. What do you call a group of baby penguins playing hockey? The penalty box-ettes.
13. Why did the hockey player get a job as a chef? He wanted to be good at checking.
14. What do you call a picky hockey player? A picky-une.
15. Why are hockey players such great artists? They always aim for the canvas.
16. Why are hockey players always tired? They’re on thin ice.
17. Did you hear about the hockey player who got stuck in the ice? He was frozen stiff.
18. Why did the hockey player cross the road? To get to the ice rink on the other side.
19. What do you call a hockey player with a broken leg? A hobble-keeper.
20. Why did the hockey team switch from red jerseys to green? Because they were tired of seeing red when they lost.

Hockey players never miss a Swift-y shot!

1. “We’re losing badly,” said the coach deflatedly.
2. “That was a high stick,” said the referee loftily.
3. “I’ll never make it to the pros,” said the goalie starkly.
4. “I can’t find my helmet!” yelled the player madly.
5. “It’s freezing out here!” complained the fan chillingly.
6. “I can’t believe you missed that shot,” said the coach disappointedly.
7. “I’m scoring the winning goal,” said the forward hopefully.
8. “Looks like we’re on thin ice,” said the defenseman cautiously.
9. “Our team is really on fire tonight,” said the commentator heatedly.
10. “I’ll pass the puck to you,” said the center passively.
11. “I think I pulled a muscle,” said the player strainedly.
12. “The other team is really skating circles around us,” said the captain circularly.
13. “I can’t believe we’re tied,” said the coach evenly.
14. “I just scored a hat trick,” said the forward triumphantly.
15. “My stick broke!” exclaimed the player woodenly.
16. “I think I need a break,” said the exhausted goalie breathlessly.
17. “I can’t take this pressure,” said the rookie nervously.
18. “I can’t catch my breath,” said the player breathlessly.
19. “We have to win this game,” said the captain fiercely.
20. “This is the best game I’ve ever played,” said the defenseman incredulously.

Slapstick Laughs with These Knock-Knock Jokes about Hockey

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puck. Puck who? Puck you for not letting me score!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stanley. Stanley who? Stanley Cup, I just couldn’t resist knocking!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zamboni. Zamboni who? Zamboni to clear the ice before we play!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gretzky. Gretzky who? Gretzky hair in your face, let’s play some hockey!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penalty. Penalty who? Penalty for telling bad hockey jokes!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rink. Rink who? Rink in the face from a puck, that’s who!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hat trick. Hat trick who? Hat trick your opponent with some sick moves!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penalty box. Penalty box who? Penalty box or time out, your choice!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Net. Net who? Net your shots, not your opponents!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shootout. Shootout who? Shootout the lights, let’s play under the stars!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goal. Goal who? Goal in the net, that’s who!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Power play. Power play who? Power play to victory!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Iced my opponent with my killer slap shot!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bench. Bench who? Bench my players for some sweet team strategy!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Puck drop. Puck drop who? Puck drop us into some intense action!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Face-off. Face-off who? Face-off with me if you dare!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fan. Fan who? Fan of hockey, that’s who!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Slap shot. Slap shot who? Slap shot my way to victory!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Offsides. Offsides who? Offsides this joke was too cheesy!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iceberg. Iceberg who? Iceberg skated for so long, my feet are killing me!

Sidestep Confusion with These Hockey-tastic Malapropisms

1. “Slapstick” instead of slapshot
2. “Zambone” instead of Zamboni
3. “Punk” instead of puck
4. “Blades of Bass” instead of blades of grass
5. “Power play-doh” instead of power play
6. “Penalty bench” instead of penalty box
7. “Bench-warmer” instead of benchwarmer
8. “Goal incense” instead of goalpost
9. “Face smosh” instead of face-off
10. “Biscuit” instead of biscuit (used for both the puck and a player’s behind)
11. “Hat track” instead of hat trick
12. “Shoulder buddy” instead of shoulder buddy
13. “Cross rabbits” instead of cross-checking
14. “Slapstick wizard” instead of slapshot artist
15. “Sniper soup” instead of sniper shot
16. “One-time machine” instead of one-timer
17. “Stick handler dance” instead of stickhandling
18. “Hockey helmeteers” instead of hockey players
19. “Bone-crushing hug” instead of body check
20. “Blue wine” instead of blue line

Puckin’ Hilarious: Spoonerisms About Hockey Stick Out in the Crowd

1. “Zockey Hall”
2. “Stickey Hocks”
3. “Puckey Shots”
4. “Hockey Pants”
5. “Goalie Moad”
6. “Bench Sattling”
7. “Face-Off Iteams”
8. “Hockey Sticksy”
9. “Slapshat Goals”
10. “Icenica Rink”
11. “Penalty Sinner”
12. “Stick-Handling Taroids”
13. “Center Iceshall”
14. “Zamboni Baces”
15. “Offensive Sone”
16. “Power Slop Play”
17. “Slippy Icer”
18. “Checker Byoy”
19. “Roughkneying Fools”
20. “Blueline Missing”

Slapstick wit: puck-tacular hockey puns!

Well folks, I hope these puns about hockey have scored a goal in making you laugh! Whether you’re a die-hard fan or a casual observer, there’s no denying that these puns are a slap shot of pure entertainment. And if these left you wanting more, don’t worry, we have plenty of other related puns and joke posts for you to check out. So lace up your skates and get ready to chuckle your way through the world of hockey humor. Keep it cool and keep the laughter coming, because as they say, laughter is the best medicine…unless you’re a goalie. Thanks for reading and stick around for more pun-tastic content!