115+ Star Trek Jokes & Puns: Live Long and Prosper With Laughter

Prepare for warp speed laughter, because we’re about to boldly go where no humor blog has gone before – straight to the funniest Star Trek jokes and puns this side of the Alpha Quadrant! Get ready for a hilarious list of the best and cleverest Star Trek humor. Did you know the Klingon language is so complex it’s actually spawned real-world dictionaries and language courses? Now that’s dedication! But don’t worry, our jokes are a little easier to grasp. Beam up a smile and prepare for some out-of-this-world puns!

Top Star Trek Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Beam Us Up, This is Hilarious

Live long and prosper-i-tea? Earl Grey, please.
To boldly groan… where no pun has groan before!
Beam me up, Scotty. There’s no intelligent life down here.
Feeling lightheaded? Must be a case of the space flu.
Khan you believe it? He’s back (again)!
What’s a Klingon’s favorite drink? Warrior Punch.
Star Trek walk-throughs on YouTube? Engage!
That Tribble infestation was fur-ocious. Glad it’s over.
Spock’s Vulcan emotions? Totally illogical. But also hilarious.
Borg Queen’s dating profile: You will be assimilated… into my heart.
Don’t get on Scotty’s bad side. He’ll beam you into a wall.
That away mission took a phaser to my nerves.
Romulan ale? More like Romulan “ale”right. This stuff is potent!
Why don’t they serve pizza in Starfleet? It’s too cheesy.
Data’s stand-up routine bombed. He just couldn’t get a reaction.
Star Trek conventions are wild. It’s like a different universe.

Funny Star Trek Jokes With One Liner Clever Star Trek Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Star Trek One-Liner Jokes: Live Long and Laugh

I tried writing a Star Trek script, but I tossed it out. It was too far-fetched.
A Klingon walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he puts down his money, he hears, “No Quark’s accepted here!”
I’m writing a book about all the Star Trek series. It’s going to be an epic journey.
My love life is like the USS Protostar, constantly getting thrown into chaotic and unpredictable situations.
I wanted to open a transporter-themed restaurant, but I couldn’t quite beam up the funding.
I saw a sign that said “Romulan Wine Tasting.” I thought, “That’s an offer I can’t refuse.”
Data tried stand-up comedy, but he bombed. Turns out humans only laugh at what they don’t understand.
I wouldn’t want to join Starfleet. Seems like every away mission is just one giant HR violation waiting to happen.
Spock’s side hustle? Selling Tupperware. He’s great at it. Logical organization.
If the Starship Enterprise were a car, it would definitely get pulled over for having too many lights on.
Tribbles are like the potato chips of the galaxy. You can’t have just one… or ten… or a hundred.
The Borg are huge fans of self-driving cars. They appreciate the efficiency of collective transportation.
“Live long and prosper,” said Spock. Little did he know, inflation would make “long” relative.
Never ask Captain Picard for dating advice. He always says, “Make it so,” even when you shouldn’t.
I tried using the transporter to get to work, but I ended up in the Delta Quadrant. At least traffic wasn’t bad.
Why don’t they serve decaf on the Enterprise? Because it would be highly illogical.
Starfleet Academy’s most popular course? “Warp Core Mechanics 101: Avoiding Explosions.”

QnA Jokes & Puns about Star Trek: Boldly Going Where No Joke Has Gone Before

Q: What do you call a Star Trek captain who hates stairs? A: Kirk Elevator!
Q: What’s Captain Picard’s favorite board game? A: Settlers of Catan (because he loves making it “so”!)
Q: Why are Klingons such bad singers? A: They always hit the high notes… with their foreheads.
Q: What do Romulans use to surf the internet? A: Cloaking Modems
Q: Why did Scotty beam down to the bakery? A: To get a croissant to the bridge… hot!
Q: What’s a Ferengi’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a Latin beat… they love La-tinum!
Q: What do you call a Star Trek fan who’s always getting into trouble? A: A Red Shirt Renegade!
Q: Why did Data fail his art history exam? A: He couldn’t differentiate between a Picasso and a Picardi!
Q: What do you call a Tribble that’s always in trouble? A: A Fuzzball Felon!
Q: Why don’t they serve Romulan Ale at Starfleet Academy? A: Too many cadets were ending up in the Neutral Zone… and not the good one.
Q: What’s the Enterprise’s preferred dating app? A: Tinderprise – swipe right on adventure!
Q: Why is Geordi always invited to poker night? A: He can spot a bluff a parsec away!
Q: Did you hear about the Starfleet officer who opened a bar? A: It’s called “Ten Forward”… drinks are on the house after 10 pm!
Q: Why was the Borg cube always getting lost? A: It had assimilation issues with Google Maps.
Q: What’s a Vulcan’s least favorite type of car? A: A Fiat… because they have no logic!
Q: Why can’t you trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything… even the lies! (Spock Voice Optional)

Dad Jokes about Star Trek: Engage Your Funny Bones

I tried to explain Star Trek to a Klingon the other day… he just didn’t get it. Guess you could say it went right over his head-ridge.
Why did Spock refuse to play baseball in the Star Trek League? He didn’t believe in using a Vulcan-ized rubber ball.
The Enterprise crew got a new pizza chef who used transporters instead of ovens. He claimed it was “delivery at warp speed.”
What do you call it when Captain Kirk beams down to a planet with bad weather? A Trekky day.
Just saw a Klingon singing karaoke really badly. He was a total warp-star!
I tried to buy a used starship the other day, but it had too many miles on it. The salesman said it was “well-trekked.”
My son asked me if starships get car sick. I told him, “Don’t be silly, they have photon torpedoes!”
Why don’t they serve ice cream on the bridge of the Enterprise? It’s too hard to see when the Romulans are cloaking nearby.
You know, for a group that travels at warp speed, the Enterprise crew sure does spend a lot of time just standing around on the bridge.
Scotty always insists on driving when the Enterprise crew rents a car. Says he knows how to handle a “powerful engine.”
I wanted to buy a book about the history of starships, but it cost 20 Federation Credits. I thought that was a bit steep.
Heard a rumor that the Borg are starting a boy band. They’ll be called “The Assimil8ors.”
What did Geordi La Forge say to the rude Ferengi? “Visor off, buddy!”
Why are Klingons such bad dancers? They always lead with their heads!
Why does Captain Kirk have so many exes? He always goes where no man has gone before.
I told my friend all the Star Trek movies were great. He said, “Even ‘The Final Frontier’?” I said “Well, it had its moments.”

Funny Quotes and Captions about Star Trek: Live Long and Laugh

“My dating life is like the Neutral Zone – highly illogical and full of Romulan Ale-fueled regrets.”
“Just tried to make tea in the replicator. Earl Grey never tasted so…explosive.”
“Some days you’re Captain Picard, sipping tea in the vineyard. Some days you’re Ensign Kim, eternally stuck on watch duty. Today is definitely a Kim day.”
“Sure, space travel is cool and all, but can we talk about the real hero here? Whoever designed those Starfleet uniforms deserves a Nobel Prize in Comfort.”
Relationship Status: Permanently set to ‘Red Alert’ because apparently, “Live long and prosper” doesn’t apply to romance.
“Boldly going where everyone has gone before…because I’m late for work and the transporter is down again.”
My therapist told me to explore my emotions. So, I set phasers to “Feelings.” Things escalated quickly.
“My sleep schedule is more erratic than the warp drive on the USS Discovery.”
Just saw a Klingon wearing Crocs. Some things are even more terrifying than a D7 battlecruiser.
I’m not saying I’m obsessed with Star Trek, but I did name my Roomba “Hooverprise.”
“Don’t mind me, just channeling my inner Captain Janeway and yelling ‘Coffee, black!’ at the coffee machine.”
“Life is too short for boring coffee mugs. That’s why mine says ‘Beam me up, Scotty. This coffee is terrible.'”
“Starfleet Academy Application: Reason for Joining – ‘Space looks really cool, and the uniform pants have pockets.'”
Sure, warp speed is impressive. But have you ever tried parallel parking a shuttlecraft in San Francisco? Now that’s a real feat.
“I’m not saying I’m a Trekkie, but I did consider learning Klingon just to win arguments.”
“Star Trek taught me that the most powerful weapon is a well-timed facepalm.”
“Live Long and Prosper? More like Live Long and Try Not to Trip Over the Cat While Reaching for the Remote.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Star Trek: Live Long and Prosper With Laughter

Live long and prosper, but don’t forget to set your phaser to stun first. Safety first!
A Klingon warrior and a Romulan senator walk into a bar… it’s probably a trap.
The early bird gets the wormhole, but the late sleeper avoids the space anomaly.
Never judge a Tribble by its fur, unless it’s multiplying uncontrollably – then run!
Beam me up, Scotty, there’s no intelligent life down here… except for that guy who insists Kirk is better than Picard.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make a transporter work during an ion storm.
Don’t cry over spilled Romulan ale, it stains anyway.
A watched pot never boils, but a watched warp core might explode.
The enemy of my enemy is… well, probably still my enemy, this is Star Trek after all.
Don’t put all your eggs in one Jeffries tube… unless you want a very awkward encounter with an alien lifeform.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the nebula, especially if it’s a delicious Andorian grilled chicken.
Two heads are better than one, unless one of them is a Cardassian trying to trick you.
You can’t make a first contact twice, so make sure your communicator is charged.
Where there’s smoke, there’s a malfunctioning replicator trying to make toast…again.
The more things change, the more the Klingons remain obsessed with honor and bat’leths.
A Starfleet captain is only as good as their first officer… and their ability to find loopholes in the Prime Directive.

Star Trek Double Entendres Puns: Boldly Pun Where No Pun Has Gone Before

I tried explaining the plot of “Star Trek: Insurrection” to my friend, but it was like trying to navigate an asteroid field – full of holes and bound to lose someone along the way. (Referring to plot holes and confusing narratives)
Dating a Klingon is like a Star Trek episode – It’s all passion and yelling until someone fires a disruptor. (Referring to Klingon temperament and weaponry)
They say Star Trek fans are the most dedicated, but I think they’re just clinging to the past. (Playing on “cling-ons”)
My love life is like the USS Protostar, constantly getting thrown into chaotic and dangerous situations. (Referencing the chaotic nature of the show)
Trying to understand Star Trek time travel is like navigating the Delta Quadrant – utterly illogical. (Referencing complex time travel and confusing plots)
I told my friend I was going to binge-watch all of Star Trek, he said “Live long and prosper”, I think he knew I was in for the long haul. (Playing on the iconic greeting)
That new Star Trek series is so popular, even my grandma is boldly going where everyone else has gone before. (A cheeky take on the classic tagline)
My attempt to build a model of the Enterprise ended in disaster. Turns out, engineering isn’t my forte. (Referencing the iconic ship and engineering roles)
My dating app bio says “Looking for someone to explore strange new worlds with.” So far, no one has gotten the Star Trek reference. (Playing on the show’s exploration themes)
I told my friend I thought the warp core breach was staged. He had to remind me it’s just a show, and to boldly chill out. (Playing on common sci-fi tropes and over-analyzing)
I tried to cook a Romulan Ale Chicken recipe I found online. It was…highly illogical. (Referencing the iconic drink and Spock’s catchphrase)
My friend asked me what my favorite Star Trek series is, I said, “The one I’m watching at the moment.” I guess you could say I’m pretty neutral on the subject. (Referencing the Star Trek: Voyager ship)
My love life is like the search for Spock’s brain in “Star Trek III” – all over the place and emotionally draining. (Referencing a specific plot point for comedic effect)
My friend said watching “Star Trek: The Original Series” without the special effects is a truly unique experience. I told him, “That’s one way to put it.” (Subtly acknowledging the dated effects)
I was going to join a Star Trek fan club, but I heard they can be a bit…intense. I’m not ready to commit to that level of fandom. (Poking fun at passionate fandoms)
I’m writing a Star Trek screenplay, but I’m struggling with the ending. I just can’t seem to find a way to boldly end it where no one has gone before. (A self-aware take on the tagline and writing challenges)
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but some of those Star Trek fan films are just boldly going where no one should ever go. (A playful jab at some fan creations)

Funny Star Trek Tom Swifties: Beam Me Up To The Punny Side

“Set course for that nebula,” said Tom, mist-illy.
“Make it so,” said Tom ensign-ly.
“I’ll beam down to that planet,” said Tom, a-way-ly.
“Reverse course!” shouted Tom, stern-ly.
“Fascinating,” said Tom Spock-ingly.
“There’s no intelligent life on this planet,” said Tom, barren-ly.
“I’ve lost contact with the away team,” said Tom dis-connect-edly.
“I need more power to the shields!” cried Tom, deflect-ively.
“Adjust the phasers to stun,” said Tom non-lethal-ly.
“Did you disable the tractor beam?” asked Tom tractor-ly.
“Those Romulans are up to something,” said Tom suspicious-ly.
“This is the final frontier,” said Tom border-ly.
“This tricorder reading is off the charts,” said Tom, scan-dalously.
“The warp drive is offline!” Tom exclaimed transport-lessly.
“Prepare for battle!” said Tom war-ily.
“Live long and prosper,” said Tom, Vulcan-ly.
“Beam me up, Scotty,” said Tom transport-ingly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Star Trek: Beam Me Up, Funny

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek who? Star Trekkin’ across the universe!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek who? Star Trek-ing out the window, I think I see a Klingon bird of prey!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek your calendars, the next convention is in April!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek-ing my brain trying to remember what species Neelix is!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek who? Star Trek right in! This party’s dull.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek who? Star Trek-ing up trouble are we?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek who? Star Trek a pose, you hear there’s a new series in the works!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek-ing to believe it’s been almost 60 years since the first episode!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek-ing your stuff – I loved you in that play!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek carefully, Romulans could be closer than we think.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek a load of this – Q is up to his old tricks again!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek-ing my fingers we get a new season next year!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek-ing off to explore strange new worlds!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek-ing my mind trying to figure out how Scotty beams people!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Star Trek. Star Trek Who? Star Trek-ing it up to boldly go where no one has gone before!